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Curly Nikki

Teaching Self Love

By January 27th, 20219 Comments

Teaching Self Love

by LV Burns of Natural-ness

Teaching Self Love

This article was originally posted on September 3, 2007, a few weeks before my daughter (now almost 3) was born. I still believe in its message, so I wanted to share it again:

In a few short weeks, I will be the mother of a little girl. I feel honored to have the opportunity to raise a future mother, wife, sister, friend, business woman, etc. But I often think about what I want to teach her as she grows.

The most important things that I want her to take away from our household as she grows into a woman, is a high self-confidence and self-esteem. Whether she comes out with a brown, dark or light complexion; Or if her hair comes out curly, kinky or wavy; Even if she inherits the family’s thin or chubby genes; I want her to love herself just the way she is.

When she walks out into the world, even as a little girl, I want her to have a defense against whatever society’s current standard of beauty is. I don’t want her to care if the current videos on BET feature light-skinned or dark-skinned models, or if all of the current female singers and performers have straight hair past their behinds. My prayer is that she walks around as if she has set the new standard of beauty. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want her to have a cocky attitude, just a deep love of God and all the gifts and beauty that he has given her.

You may ask, why am I sharing this right now? Well ladies, we all know that all of us were not raised to love ourselves for who we are, no matter what we are. Of course, some of us were, but I want to address those who were not right now. I just want you to know, that even if you were not given the tools of a high self-esteem and self-confidence when growing up, it is never too late to find or develop these tools for yourself. And more important than that, if you are a mother, aunt or grandmother to a young child or even a teenager, you have the opportunity to instill these things into that child or teen. Our children need these gifts more than ever, especially our little girls. Please ladies, take the time to give it to them (and yourself). Take care and God Bless!


  • Anonymous says:

    Very well written! I hope to oneday have a daughter (I would not mind sons but I really want a little me :-). So that she loves herself just as the author described unconditionally. I read an article not too long ago how this young black at the age of 12 decided to purchase a blonde wig because she did not like her hair. A lot of our children are raised under a cruel cycle of hatred especially in the black community. To know what good hair is or light complexion versus dark before they even know basic arithmetic. This is a very sad and serious issue and in our community we tend to make everything a joke when we really are contributing to our own destruction.

  • Natural-ness (LV) says:

    Thanks for your comments! My baby turns 3 tomorrow! Time sure flies. I am glad that you all enjoyed the article, it definitely came from the heart.

  • Stacy says:

    I also have a daughter who will be 3 in a couple weeks and I couldn't have put my feelings into words any better. THANK YOU for your beautiful words. God Bless!

  • Margaret says:

    Beautiful!!! You are so correct. We are so bombarded with other people's ideals of beauty we fail to see the beauty in ourselves. No wonder so many of us suffer from self esteem issues. I appauld you on working on countering negativities early in your beautiful daughter life. Blessings!!!

  • JazBNatural says:

    she is beautiful! I'm gonna have to check out your blog now. I love what you said about setting a new standard of beauty

  • Nique1076 says:

    Wonderful article!!! Excellent

  • Anonymous says:

    Simply Beautiful!

  • Dani says:


  • Kimberly says:

    That is such a beautiful thing to say. And i completely agree. God bless you for that message.

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