“I Wouldn’t Look as Good as You…”

by LV Burns of www.natural-ness.com

I have had far too many friends, family members and acquaintances tell me that they wouldn’t look as good as me if their hair was natural. I never take that as a compliment. In fact, when I hear someone say this, it actually bothers me because it’s just negative thinking in disguise. How can someone not look good with their “natural” God given hair? As African American women, our features are made for kinky curly hair. Why hide the beautiful high cheek bones, large gorgeous foreheads and beautiful full eyes with straight hair? Our hair was made to crown our features, not drown them out.

This statement is cousin to, “my hair is not good enough to go natural.” Hello! There is no such thing as “good enough” hair. Once again, your hair is a gift. It does not matter what type of hair you are born with, it is a gift to be cherished. Now I know that hate for African American hair has been ingrained in us generation after generation, but I think that it’s time to start erasing these negative thoughts. Why not start today?

If you are considering going natural, but are still harboring negative thoughts that are keeping you from moving forward, or if you are already natural and thinking of relaxing because of these negative thoughts, I have a challenge for you. There is a technique used in cognitive therapy that can be very effective in eliminating negative thoughts. Take a rubber band and place it on your wrist. Every time a negative thought about your hair (or any other part of you) comes to mind, or you find yourself saying something negative, pull the rubber band and let it snap your wrist. You don’t have to do it very hard, just a little snap is enough. When you snap the rubber band, you are conditioning your mind to say “negative thoughts hurt”. Negative thoughts do hurt…they hurt your self-esteem, relationships and everything else in your life. They make you feel less than, undeserving of and not as good as. Once your mind starts understanding this, you’ll find that negativity about your natural hair and yourself in general will occur far less frequently. Give it a try and let me know if it works for you!

Do you have negative thoughts about your natural or transitioning hair?
How do you plan to overcome?