Bri of Naturally Fierce writes:
I was recently out with a girlfriend for lunch and I decided to wear my hair in an Afro. We chose a restaurant in a prominent downtown area, the atmosphere is relaxed, but you could say the clientele is rather ‘affluent’. As soon as I hit the pavement disapproving eyes quickly gravitated to my fro and things were the same way inside the restaurant. Why? I thought for a moment that perhaps my Afro was a bit much, especially for those who don’t even know what an Afro is, but I didn’t care. I’m going to wear my hair any way I want, I’m not appeasing others!
But what if I was at a wedding, is the Afro too much then? Or a professional business seminar, is the Afro too much for that setting?
But what if I was at a wedding, is the Afro too much then? Or a professional business seminar, is the Afro too much for that setting?
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When/Where is the Afro too much?
Should you have to ‘tone’ down you natural hair for certain situations?
I wear the fro almost all the time except for interviews. Ive come across all types of people with my hair free and the people who dislike my hair the most are older black (african american) people hands down. They are the worst cuz they will look at you and call u out in public like ur walkin naked or something!. They are why i wear my hair pulled back in interviews too. I dont want to be interviewed by one and severely judged. Its happend before. I personally believe afro envy is an intraracial and intergenerational problem.
The afro is too much when u start getting more cat calls than ur straight hair friends. Its too much when you swim and it blocks ur eyesight. Its too much when babies start pulling on it and it hurts. Its too much when strangers stop and compliment you. Its too much because its so much and more. rock that thang chick! K
i think both sides have great points. As far as your interpretations of the looks, it just depends on what kind of person you are. If you do what YOU think is honestly right and good, then thats all there is to it, just do your best. If you look in the mirror and think its too much, then change it, otherwise you will be uncomfortable all day. If you think its cool, and people are looking at you crazy, then the problem is obviously with them. If you are walking down the street and people are giving you stares, and it bothers you, either stare back, ignore it, or change something. just be true to yourself and do what will make you feel happy. Whatever makes you feel comfortable. and
I mean, im muslim so i wear hijab, andim in the South so i get stared at ALL Z time, i mean HARD DOWN staring. and ive come to realize 4 things: 1) folks are ignorant like a muttha, 2) except The Almighty, the only entities you need to keep satisfied are yourself and whoever pays ur bills/ signs your checks, 3) if they look froggy, ignore it till they jump, 4) HONEY, people will stare at ANYTHING. good/bad/curious w/e… they will look, and 1/2 the time the stank face they give you doesnt reflect what they are thinking… their face just looks like that.
nahhh i wear my hair straight and my afrotatstic style too ,but even when i wear it straight wich everyone considers the "normal" ,they still come rushing to touch your hair when people are looking at you there probably thinking… "WOW i wish my hair could be as thick and as lucious as that" wishing they were black (NOT THAT WHITE PEOPLE CANT HAVE AFROS )
Why are black women's hair being compared to a MAN with long hair? A white woman with long hair doesn't have to put it up at a wedding…
The "Afro" hairstyle is a natural hairstyle that occurs when coarse textured African Hair dries. I have not met one Caucasian person that was offended at an Afro. Nor Have I met an "affluent person" of any race that had the nerve to insult me or anyone wearing the "Afro" to my face or in hearing distance. That would make them look ignorant,uneducated, and uncultured. Afro's are a beautiful style that can be as diverse as the different braided styles . Women of African decent are known world wide for our diversity and artistry when it comes to hairstyles. So wear that Afro and wear it proudly!!!!!
In my personal opinion, I don't think an afro is ever too much. I remember last year, my cousin thought " I need to do something with my hair" because an afro wasn't appropiate for a funeral. Well I'm sorry my hair grows in an afro. It's not something I can help, or will change.
ehh it's hard to say..unfortunatly, there are some things that are appropraite and vise versa, but in reality some jobs feel thats not professional so you have to deal with that. other then that peoples' opinions dont matter.
Exactly! People assuming that "affluent" equals white in this post.
I read the young ladies entire post twice. Where did she talk about the disapproving looks coming from white people??? She does not mention ANY race! Stop assuming, some of these comments were all OFF subject and so UNNECESSARY. Bri your hair is beyond beautiful:) Wear it with pride any where!
Like I always tell my children, NEVER DIM YOUR LIGHT IN ORDER FOR SOMEONE ELSE TO FEEL COMFORTABLE IN THEIR OWN INSECURITIES!!! If you want to wear your 'fro, wear it!!
How do you know they looks were disapproving? From my experience, most white folks don't even CARE about young black women let alone even know what we do to our hair.
You have to be comfortable with your hair and not worry what people think or feel. That's not your responsibility to care.
To Bri of Naturally Fierce
I love your afro its beautiful,shiny and full of health. The afro is not too much and shouldn't be toned down. The fact that people are unsure just fuels the attitudes.What is needed is more confidence when wearing those styles as that is the ONLY way it will be accepted.I'm transtioning and love wearing a curly fro with a headband i know i stand out and frankly i don't mind!:D Things need to change and this is just the start.So please sisters wear your hair with confidence as that is part of who we are if people don't want to accept that then that is their issue and ignorance of what is unique and beautiful! You go gal! 😀
To the young woman in the pic, your fro looks so neat and well groomed that I can only assume that those were stares of envy. I do not think a fro is a bad idea at any occasion if it looks like yours. Now, if we're talking a huge blocking out the sun, moon and the stars afro, then I can understand others expecting a more conservative look. However, that still doesn't mean you have to take their desires at face value.
I was working at a clinic the other day and an older white lady kept staring at me. Everytime I glanced over at her, she would turn away to avoid eye contact. I felt as though she probably didn't like my "unruly" days old twist out and I admit I even began to feel that maybe my hair looked inappropriate. Anywho, I shrugged it off and went about my work. Later on as I was leaving for the day, that same lady stopped me in the parking lot and told me she liked my fro because it complimented my smile. (By the way, I didn't think my hair resembled a fro.) Anywho, it definitely caught me off guard because here I was thinking that she was judging me when she wasn't. It's so true that sometimes we judge others based on the fact that we think they may be judging us. I didn't need her validation to be me, but I did appreciate being reminded that things are not always what they seem. We should all be allowed to be who we are as long as it doesn't involve hurting anyone else. Sure some people are gonna disapprove, but they can kick rocks with an open toe shoe for all I care #IMJUSTSAYING 🙂
hmmm…I think people should be able to wear their hair ANY way they plese…unfortunately we live in a society where certain styles that aren't of the norm have been stigmatized. I bet if everyone started wearing their hair in fros, then straight hair would be awkward! lol
It becomes too much only If you feel like that and really your opinion should be the only one that matters. Perhaps, the looks you were getting were out of intrigue not judgment and frankly who cares… as long as your are comfortable with what you're rocking no matter what it is you should be proud of it!!!
I don't think there's such a thing as too much if that's the way our hair grows out of our heads. I've seen ladies post that they won't wear their 'fros to church and I wondered why? It certainly can't be that our afros would be in someone's way because at MY church at least, the hats some women wear are much larger than any 'fro I've seen. LOL
I won't edit my hair for different situations, i.e. as far as being appropriate or inappropriate is concerned. I have rocked my fro to church and will continue to do so. I'm on the fence as to exactly how big I will wear my hair when I go back to work, but I will not be braiding my hair for work or wearing a wig or anything else.
The next time I see a white woman walking around with straight hair, I'm going to ask her if she's promoting a pro-Aryan political agenda. lol
Hi Everyone I just came by from being at Walmart and let me tell you what Essence Magazine has finally stepped up its game on the natural hairstyles. They have a new magazine out, and it has some banging hairstyles. So I just wanted to let everyone know just in case you haven't seen it yet.
I think the Afro is appropriate any place any time! Plus, if more folks don't wear their fros out, people will continue to think Afros are only worn when people are trying to make a political statement. When I first started wearing my natural hair out, some of the folks that I thought were most progressive were asking questions like, "What are you going to do with that?" They often assumed I didn't do anything to my hair(i.e. attempt to groom it at all). Needless to say, I had to let folks know that this is what my hair is supposed to do: reach the heavens. If they never saw my hair and felt the urge to ask the question, they'd never realize the bias living inside them. As far as wearing it in professional settings, I'll tell you what one of my mentors once told a woman that was up for a HUGE promotion. If she was successful in her interview, she would be the only woman of color in that position. She asked my mentor if she should be herself and wear her signature braids to the interview or if she should take them out and straighten her hair for the interview. He told her to try to take away any excuses that would prevent the hiring managers from seeing her skills. Yep, he suggested she take out the braids. Then, once she got the job, he encouraged her to rock her hair any and every way that she wanted to! She did just that. She got the job. Now she's in an even higher position and making a high six figure salary. At the end of the day, you should always make the choice you feel you can live with. However, in an imperfect world, you may find that sometimes your personal hair politics might have to be compromised so that they don't jeopardize everything you've worked for professionally. Or, so they don't cause you to miss out on an opportunity to be in a position of power where you can be of even more use to other young professionals of color.
@ BrownEmber…girl, you are on point! That is exactly what I repsond whenever someone ask me why I wear my hair the way I do. Our hair defies gravity and Caucasians hair does not. PERIOD. No one ask them to do something with their hair. Please.
I am still transitioning (over a year now) but plan to be natural by the time my best friend gets married next April. She's allowing us (the bridal party) to decide what hairstyle we want to wear but I was told that big hair was off limits specifically the afro. I guess, because it is her wedding, I have to go along with the request.
Absolutely, positively NOT! The Afro is NOT too much for any setting. I actually attended a wedding yesterday and I wore my curly fro just as big and beautiful as it could be – and got compliments all night long. I think it's really a shame that because society says 'straight' or 'loosely curled' hair is more acceptable, we feel we should cater to that… but why? How is something that's natural – something that is a part of your overall being 'too much'? Yes, we wear different clothes based on the type of environment we're in – nothing wrong w/ that. And we change our hair based on the occasion – nothing wrong w/ that either. I believe that anyone can make his/her look appropriate in any setting based confidence and on how they carry themselves. But I've never heard someone say 'wow,' her hair is too straight (or too loosely curled) to wear down.' So why is it 'inappropriate' for someone w/ kinkier curls to wear their hair down (which would be an afro)? The afro's 'appropriateness' has been a conversation I've heard one times too many, and frankly, I think it's ridiculous…
BTW Bri, you're gorgeous and so is your hair – Continue to rock your fro, no matter the setting!
An Afro is never too much! The only time I've contemplated this is when I'm acting, sometimes my character isn't dominant enough to warrant having an afro that could be distracting since it's so big lol so I pin my hair back, but other than that, it is never too much.
An afro is natural. It's how it grows out of your head. Nothing like that can ever be too much.
Whoissugar is too funny! I loved her "when natural hair goes wrong" vid, I was crackin up the entire time! LOL it's one of my fav's.
I personally wouldn't mind wearing a afro all the time, but I won't because it would be to much toll on my hair. I like a diversity of styles, and plus I get bored really quick. But I also feel that if you wear a afro that yes it will bring attention to you, whether good or not but it just depends on the person. Some people may or may not think it is professional, but as long as you are styling from head to toe then screw what they think :). Now if only I can master doing flat twists and cornrows I would definitely be rocking those as well. Right now twisits/twistouts and headbands,bobby pins are a girls best friend.
But I also think that an afro will cause some people to want to get the HIH coming at you, and I don't think alot of women would care for that. There's a youtuber named "Whoissugar" that has a video talking about this, and her hair is gorgeous. But anyway, I digress so ladies do what makes you happy whether it's an afro or not. But carry yourself well and be happy with all of that lush hair,and maybe all the haterade looks are because they wish that their hair could do that as well.
Yes and NO i think the issue for me is the two different questions:
.Should you tone down your natural hair?
.When/is an afro too much?
-Should you tone down your natural hair?
To that I say no, and that's where I agree with all the ladies who have posted before me, it's your natural hair and you have nothing to be ashamed of and no one to "tone it down for"
on the other hand…
-Can an afro be too much?
To that I say yes and no, b/c there are times when afros may not be appropriate. Esp where length is concerend. In my mind an afro is a style, just like twists or an updo and just like any style, they all are not appropriate all the time.
Just like you wouldn't wear a formal updo to the beach use your discretion. No one can tell you how to wear your hair, but it's up to you to decide what's appropriate an adapt it to fit your hair [not the other way around] If you're comfortable and are being respectful to the situation/atmoshphere then you have nothing to worry about.
An afro is never too much. It's a hairstyle. I can remember a time when the afro was all the ladies were sporting. We have to stop making another persons issues, insecurities, our own. It wasn't too long ago when people had the same issues about braids. Do YOU!!!!!
IMO it has nothing to do with whether you're proud of your fro or not, it has to do with what is formal or informal. Just like what anonymous at 12:31 PM said, having your hair stand 14 inches above your head is distracting, and during some situations it's not appropriate to be distracting. Just because you shouldn't wear your fro doesn't mean you still can't wear your natural hair beautifully. There's just a time and place for everything.
Ahh the many questions we have in life….
Do these jeans make my backside look big?
Does this shirt look too tight?
Is my fro appropriate for this situation?
Because you are self conscious you begin to percieve others are looking at you and judging you the way you are judging yourself.
You need to know your own freedoms and your own limitations. I have been natural for 2.5 years and I do not intend to wear my 14 inch afro on my job. I did not even wear an 8 inch afro to work because I personally feel more casual than I want to be as a professional. There is a time and place for everything, EVERYTHING. Just because I grow my God-given hair on my legs don't mean I'm gonna let you see it when I'm wearing my mini-skirt.
For me, an afro is an unstable hairstyle that snags on my clothes, is full of tangles that reduces my length retention and takes a lot of my attention to keep it proportional. I dont have that kind of time as a teacher to pull and tug on an afro all day that changes shape if I stand against the wall or sit at my desk.
This decision does not make me less natural than the one who rocks a TWA or dreds. We need to be careful not to start passing judgement within the natural community like we sometimes do to our relaxed counterparts. Are you guilty of giving a side-eye view to a fellow natural who chooses to rock her ponytail or her twists only?
If you are comfortable with your look, DO YOU. And as a rule of thumb, if you need to ask if something doesn't look right, chances are you shouldn't wear it.
And finally, if you feel like people are looking at you and passing judgement, chances are, you have been doing a little side-eye viewing yourself.
I don't think it is too much to wear a Fro but I do believe that some people do become intimidated by the power of the afro. Many people associate the Afro with Black Power, a political statement. I think that of all the naturals wearing a afro takes MUCH confidence and I commend you for wearing your fro!!!!!!!!!! 🙂
This is a topic that really gets to me. For one no one in their right mind would tell a little girl who has her hair styled in a fro that something is wrong wih her, and she needs to "tone it down" because the kids in the back of the class cant see the board. So when did it take a turn when a grown woman wants to wear her fro as ferocious as it may be that something is wrong with her and her god given look is not "socially acceptable".
Yes it is true that your apperance matters and it definetly matters in certain social environments. But the beauty of being natural is knowing that you have a choice, a choice to conform or not, a choice to love yourself the ways you are for who you are. And fortanely when you know you have a choice, then you can choose when, where, and how you want to rock your mane.
Whatever comes along with that is up to you to handle but as long as your comfortable with the choice you made, how other people react shouldnt matter!
Personally, I think of the afro as a hairstyle, just like a two strand twist out or a roller set, and that just like with any other hairstyle, there are appropriate times and places for the afro and there are inappropriate times and places. It's up to you to decide whether or not the time and place is right for yourself and go with it…or don't.
As long as its not blocking out the sun it seems fine to me. I wouldn't wear an all out fro to a job interview or wedding, cuz it could be a bit distracting. But a restaurant, i don't see anything wrong.
@ anonymous 1:19 PM
I agree with you, it is much easier to win a war if you have money in the war chest!
Now when it comes to weddings, w-e-l-l if I can turn it out with my hairstyle, then somebody needs to get a refund from their wedding planner! I wouldn't wear black or white to the ceremony because of the statement those colors make, but my hair will match my mood. Afro distracting to wedding guests? That's a YOU problem.
You are a beautiful young woman and if I saw you i'd be so proud. That said, I agree that there are some situations where you might not want to bring attention to yourself with an afro. It's a shame that in some corporate settings us naturals have to find a conservative way to wear our hair for the sake of our money. It's not right, it's not fair but it is what it is. As for going out to a restaurant you looked gorg and very appropriate!!! To heck with the looks or stares. I'd pay them no mind.
Let's not pretend that natural hair isn't a bit abnormal to many, even in this day and especially to whites. While I often worry about styles, I would never worry about an afro. You shouldn't either. Not even for a friend's wedding would I tone down my hair as suggested in a previous post. Gimme a break. It's your hair. God gave it to you. As long as it's not a color you wouldn't have normally like-spiderman red or incredible hulk green- who cares? If that had been me- I would have looked at the stargazers and asked– do I know you?
Also, I have a colleague who wears a pretty decent sized afro and she was told by her boss that she needed to pull it back for certain meetings outside of the office. She said she'd rather not attend those meetings-I was shocked. I thought of it as similar to clothing standards. For some meetings I need to wear a suit, sitting around the office writing I can be more relaxed. I guess she didnt see it that way.
The afro, especially when big, is always an attention grabber. Sometimes the attention is awe, others times it is blatant disapproval. I am trying to understand why this is so, but I think because people connect it to the Black Power/Black Beauty/Black Arts Movement of the sixties and seventies. You are automatically a radical. I have noticed that as my TWA gets higher, thicker, and longer (stronger?), I get more attention. I also notice that my friend, whose hair is much longer than mine, wears her BAA (big a** afro) she gets stares and comments, some approving, other disapproving. She doesn't get the same response when she wear two strand twists. I agree with Brown Ember. This is proof that hair is more than "just hair." It is a statement, whether or not you want it to be.
As far as appropriateness, by all means, rock your crown and glory. Forget what other people may find too much. Better too much, than not enough. Better to be yourself and do you, than try to please others. I for one can hardly wait for my fro to reach BAA status. I plan to rock it likes it's 1969. 🙂
I don't think it's too much, at all. I've been to semi-formal, formal, and black tie events including weddings where it was REQUESTED that I wear my hair in an Afro. I recently attended the Congressional Black Caucus w/my college bestie and mother who are transitioning and while many of the events were hosted by the Talented Tenth/Black Elite, we went to plenty of places where we were the flies in the milk, so to speak. Nowhere did I notice the side eye directed at our hair, although mine was always the biggest (smile).
In short, I agree that if Caucasians don't get called out for the way their hair grows, then why should we call ourselves out? Hell, you have to groom your hair into an Afro, don't you? So the "casual" argument is lost right there.
I'm a server and when i'm feeling myself I rock a curly fro with a cute headband or a cute puff. I love my curly hair but the fro is my best bud. There is never a wrong time to where a fro. My boyfriend loves it too , but i think it's his obsession with the '70s. lol
I'm laughing as I type because I've noticed similar reactions to my hair. Especially now that it's at an in-between length, I often wear it in a sizeable pouffy, curly fro. I'm starting to realize more and more why relaxers are called RELAXERS. Not because they relax our kinks, but because they cause others to RELAX. In 2010, some people are still clinging to some narrowly defined beliefs about beauty. How unfortunate… Anything outside of that ideal is unacceptable – to them. I feel it's our duty and responsibility to proudly rock or kinks and fros to re-educate and show these individuals that true beauty comes from inner pride and confidence!
Whose judging afros? Like the poster above, I've never met a white person who didn't know what an afro was or who was offended by mine. Actually, all of the negative comments I've gotten about my hair have come from black women concerned about what others must be thinking. Permed black women who think that any non-relaxed head is unkempt or natural black women who think that an afro is too creative or too much. We cannot project our own insecurities onto other people.
Wearing your hair in it's natural state is the epitome of "conservative". Being radical is doing all the extra like straightening and defining or accessorizing, etc. Nothing wrong with that, but let's not allow our perceptions skew the definition of reality.
I don't think it's too much. In fact you kinda look like a young Janet Jackson. I think it's beautiful and very much appropriate. Sometimes we may think the looks have a negative connotation, when in all actuality it could be admiration. Because now days I admire more natural hair styles than the others. In fact natural hair styles not only catch my eye but get compliments as well. Do you and be confident in it.
First of all, you look great with your Afro in the pic!
I usually don't comment on this subject, but IMHO, my answer is: You don't have to do anything that you don't want to do with/to your hair.
Just be prepared for the consequences.
See, whether we like it or not, we are always being judged – it's just a matter of who is doing the judging. On the streets? Who cares. In a workplace – you would want to care about your appearance. Unfortunately, natural hair is political in some settings. I'm not saying it's right – I'm just saying it is. Is it fair that natural hair (Afros in particular) have a negative connotation (angry black woman, militant, etc)? NO Is it fair that curly haired white women have to flat iron their hair in certain settings? NO Is it fair that one is stereotyped by the style of clothes they wear? NO
But it is what it is.
The Afro in the restaurant? No, you shouldn't have to change it and the stares were rude. But, if you are in a workplace situation that is not creative and more conservative in nature, then know that more than likely, there would be serious professional ramifications to that decision. I made the decision to go natural after I left a very high profile job. As I set to reenter my conservative field, I'm going to still be natural and wear twists, twist-outs, etc. But, never an Afro because psychologically, some people can't deal with it, and I am all about my $$ right now. I absolutely refuse to give someone a reason not to promote me.
But, when I "make it", I'll be in a better position to do what I want – and help others do what they want too.
Yoyr hair is beautiful for any event or any demographic. LOVE IT girl, you wear it well!
It's not too much. The picture there is classy and beautiful. I could see if the afro was extremely large, then I would'n't wear it like that to work, or church as it would be distracting. But there is nothing wrong with it. I think people are associating with with past political statements.
I think you should wear your hair however you want to. Although in a wedding situation, you don't want to draw attention to you, it's the bride and groom's day. Everybody should remember them on their special day, not how big your afro was. lol. Another thing to consider, will your hair block the view for people sitting behind you?
I remember going to church and it never failed there was a lady with a huge hat sitting in front of me blocking my view. All I could see was feathers, flowers or fruit shaking everytime the lady moved.
I don't think that I should have to appease anyone by "taming" my hair. That's why so many black women relax their hair, because either subconsciously or consciously, they feel that straight hair is more acceptable. I no longer wish to feel ashamed by the way my hair naturally grows from my scalp. I do wear a fro to my job sometimes and I've never received any negative comments. And if I did, I'd ignore them and keep it movin'.
Incidentally, when I first went natural a year ago, for a couple of months, I felt as if everyone was looking at me and whispering behind my back. It took awhile before I realized that most people didn't pay me any mind at all. My paranoia was fueled by the fact that I wasn't fully comfortable wearing the hair that was bestowed by God, because for many years I appeased the masses by straightening it. I get the feeling that most of the people in that restuarant didn't pay the OP any mind either. She just felt uncomfortable wearing the fro in an upscale place.
Well said Curly Hairdo Ideas!
In my opinion I can see both sides. Yes, people should learn to accept the afro. At the same time, I think that there is nothing wrong with changing your hairdo for certain occasions. For example, you can wear a cute bun, or a puff for more formal occasions…
But to be honest, I wear my hair however I feel like because I really don't care that much.
When I wore an afro for the first time out in public I felt that everyone was looking at me but then I realized that no matter how I wear my hair I get just about the same response, Its not the afro. Wear your hair how you want and with confidence and people have no choice but to accept it.
Luv your Fro. :o)
I don't think it's "too much" for any setting. If you are comfortable with it then it can be as elegant as the event you are attending. Standards my ass! If that is how your hair grows, then thats your standard hair. As long as your 'fro is combed and not matted up then rock it at wedding, business events, etc.
Please point me to the book of "society standards". I'm sure everybody's different so create your own book.
Who doesn't know what an afro is?!?!
I'm white and grew up in a predominately white area (not super affluent at all, but white) and I would venture to say I don't know anyone who doesn't know what an afro is!
My other question is how do you know they were disapproving looks? I wore a headband the other day (which I totally love and I think it makes me look like a hippy 😀 ) and I was so self-conscious! I felt like people were staring at me all day and I felt like they thought I looked ridiculous. But I realized it was just my own perception. No one came up and told me I looked silly. In fact, the only response I got was positive. (or just looks) but looks don't necessarily mean judgment. I know I sometimes "look" when I see big beautiful black afros or other curly hair! and that's not because I'm offended – it's because I'm in awe and I'm jealous! 🙂
Don't tone down your hair. Don't judge people you think might be judging you. Just WEAR that hair and LOVE the attention you get! There's not a single natural or chemical thing on the planet that could give me hair like you and that STINKS! 😀 Enjoy it!
I wouldnt wear my hair in an afro if I didnt want my hair to be a focus because I know that having 14 inches of hair standing erect from my head will draw attention to me. I dont want that to happen at work, weddings, funerals, and many other social and professional situations. That's my personal standard and I dont feel oppressed by it. Others have to do what feels best for them.
What in the…this is lunacy! This is why I just laugh when black women say hair is no big deal, we have overcome, wearing perms is just a choice yada yada. No one should ever feel that simply *being what they were born to be* is "too much". Would anyone ever wonder if their skin was "too black" for certain situations? Uh oh, I've got a special board meeting tomorrow! Better whip out my emergency skin bleaching cream! smh.
You are beautiful and professional and respectable just the way you are. Shame on anyone, black or white, who says otherwise.
I'm waiting for someone to tell a white person that wearing their hair straight is too relaxed. It's not. It's NORMAL for them. What's normal for them though, is not what's normal for us. Who in the world decided that "society's standards" should be based on what's normal for one group?…Oh wait, I remembered :/
I am going to say no it is not too much because that's the way your hair grows out of your head.
I think just like with men who have long straight or curly hair, standards are going to exist. If a man is going to a wedding or going to be in a wedding, he'd have his hair pulled back or cut. I think having your hair out in a fro is a more relaxed look, so you wouldn't wear it at the job or a wedding, just like you wouldn't wear jeans at the job or a wedding. It's just the current societal standards that really pertains to everyone, not just people with fros.