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Curly Nikki

3 Snaps in a Circle- Witty Comebacks

By January 27th, 202148 Comments

3 Snaps in a Circle- Witty Comebacks
The holidays are fast approaching, and many of us will be debuting our *new* selves to family and friends. In a perfect world, we’ll only hear wonderfully uplifting compliments, but the reality is that there will be a backhanded comment or two. How will you respond if Aunty asks, ‘when are you gonna relax again?’, ‘why did you cut your hair… are you depressed?, or, ‘what are you going to do with it?’.

Share your witty comebacks!

48 Comments

  • micah rose says:

    She said "You are in God's house and cannot go there looking like that!"
    I replied "Last time I checked the bible says come as you are! And remember Jesus' hair was like lambs wool, not like #33 yaki straight!"

    Good Lord! That's hysterical.

  • MO says:

    @ Collegegirl I laughed so hard I was crying at your comment, LMAO!!!!! ….when you get some edges….hahahahahahhahahahahahahahaha!!!!!

  • Anonymous says:

    Just respond with "why" to all of their statements:

    You should get a perm.
    Why?
    So it can be long and straight.
    Why.
    Because its pretty that way.
    Why?
    Because….(stumped).

  • Anonymous says:

    @Anonymous November 23, 2010 12:20 PM:
    Please just tell your old school grandmother that you love her and give her a hug. She loves you and is just trying to be helpful, in her way.

  • Anonymous says:

    I heard this response a while ago but it wasn't about hair it was about a tatoo. Who cares I love it anyhow…I think it should be applied…

    Q: When are you going to perm?
    A: Now You wouldn't put a bumper sticker on a Bentley…It loses value just like my beautiful hair would if I perm it. Ala natural is priceless!!

  • Anonymous says:

    Yeah,these are nice, but what should I say to my old school grandmother, who is wondering why I'm taking it to the "back race"- whatever that means… I can't be disrepectful…what should I say?

  • Diva of Shea Butter says:

    My Comebacks trust me no one will try me!
    1. I am the Diva and Do u!

    2 Really, u dont like my hair! okay thanks I will wear like this more often!

    3 I am sorry plain jane I think beyond the box!

    4. Hmmmmm, You are telling me because! I think u need another hobby instead of worrying about my hair!
    5. Maybe all those chemicals frying up your head is making u get the confidence to speak rubbish to me!

  • Bitty Boss says:

    Mom – "Ooh your hair definitely has a 'natural'look. How long are you going to wear it like that? You need some oil sheen.

    Me – *Whips hair back and forth*

  • Anonymous says:

    Q: When are you going to flat iron that kinky/nappy hair?

    A: The only kinks that need to be ironed out are the kinks in your brain, fool!

  • Curly Honey Bee says:

    I presented my hair to my family already. My beautiful bajan mother somehow thinks that its only appropriate for a recent college graduate to have straight hair(i wear a shaped fro a majority of the time). So after the hour long tangent about it being unprofessional, I merely said:

    "Now if I were jewish my hair would be beautiful and you would be so glad that I'm accepting my 'roots' and not 'conforming'".

    After I was called rude, they never commented on my hair again

  • beautywithcurls says:

    My Friend Made A Shirt That I Still Have From Dreadz N Headz Natural Hair Salon In Baltimore…..It Says Don't Ask Me About The Nap In Mine And I Won't Ask You About The Lye In Yours!

    I Fear For The Once In A While Idiots Who Ask Me "If I Will Ever Relax My Hair" In The Same Sentence As "You Have That Pretty Hair And Don't Need A Relaxer"(WTH!!!)I Have A Smart Mouth And Will Let You Know You Are Asking Stupid Questions!! Trust Me They Will Never Ask Another Person That Question Again Once I'm Done With Them.

    I Sometimes Pretend They Never Asked A Question About My Hair And Start Talking About Something Else But Most Of The Time. I Have Different Variations Of What I Say Which Is Usually Something Like…..Why Will I Ever Do Such A Stupid Thing Like That, I Don't Mess With Perfection!

  • kitka82 says:

    lol @Sherri!!!

    Great comebacks. Definitely loading my arsenal.

  • Anonymous says:

    Wow, I don't have that issue with negative comments and I see quite a few have; hence the quick quips. But if I did I'm sure to use a few of yours.

  • Rox says:

    "Last time I checked the bible says come as you are! And remember Jesus' hair was like lambs wool, not like #33 yaki straight!"

    I nearly choked reading that! @anon-10:17 PM

  • Sherri says:

    My sister told me I should be in the group "Nappy Roots". I then told her that she's the fifth member of Jagged Edge. Her edges r gone!! I hate to take it there but if someone else throws the first jab, I'm goin all the way in on them. Below the belt. Relentless!

  • AlongCameStacey says:

    I BC'ed last week (woot woot!). The most I've encountered are people staring at my hair and saying "I'm trying to figure out if I like it" and at that point I just walk away. Honestly, I think people are too scared to question me or ask me if I'm depressed because I'm a pretty mean person when I feel like someone is being rude. I hurt feelings daily, lol.

  • SashaB. says:

    I don't usually get any negative comments on my hair. It was pretty well received when I BC'd earlier this year…but on the off chance…I'm fully stocked with the following:

    Bonehead Question 1: When are going to relax it again?
    Quickdraw McGraw Response: When it costs to be natural……………….exactly.

    Bonehead Question 2: Why did you cut it?
    Quickdraw McGraw Response: (this question will be met with deliberately awkward silence, initiated to make the Bonehead feel stupid for asking, at which point, I will casually & confidently turn my back and walk away).

    Bonehead Question 3: Are you depressed?
    Quickdraw McGraw Response: Not as depressed as I WOULD be, if I looked the same as a million other people. By the way, how's that workin' out for you?

    Bonehead Question 4: What are you going to do with it?
    Quickdraw McGraw Response: Oh, I dunno. Stand in the rain, go swimming, save money…basically everything you can't. It's no big deal, really. 😉

  • Anonymous says:

    I get those type of questions all the time already my responses to:
    "when are you going to get a perm?"

    when you lose 50 pounds! (which never happens)
    when you find a man! (self-explanatory if you knew who I say this to)
    when hell freezes over.
    when Jesus himself asks me to! (for those bible thumping people in my fam)

    When my aunt told me that I was going to have to wear a wig or something to cover my hair to church to be presentable. She said "You are in God's house and cannot go there looking like that!"
    I replied "Last time I checked the bible says come as you are! And remember Jesus' hair was like lambs wool, not like #33 yaki straight!"

    and to the question:

    "what you going to do with your hair?"

    Things you can only dream of doing without a weave!
    If your damaged hair could grow, I would show you on your head!

    NOBODY has ever tested me after these comments. But they should have known better anyways! I am a natural smart ass lol!

  • Anonymous says:

    you ladies have me hollerin over here!!!!! Give them heck!!!!!they have no right to insult you like that give them heck!!!!!!!!

  • StaceyMarie says:

    I don't get many negative comments about my hair these days, but in the past I used to kiss my Granny on the head when she said "I hate it, I hate it, I hate it" and when she said "Why'd you cut all your pretty hair off!?!" I would respond "Well, I'm not all that happy that you decided to have dementia, but I learned to deal with it and you will learn to deal with this!" Fortunately, I have a family that embraces the funny.

  • ChardaeD says:

    I am loving these comebacks. You all are on fire!

  • Anonymous says:

    I suck at comebacks too! Lol thats why im glad someone made this topic:

    http://www.curlynikkiforums.com/general-f3/whats-the-best-comeback-you-ever-said-to-anyone-t7241.htm?highlight=comeback

    Read this and you'll have plenty to say to anyone who dares to comment

  • Anonymous says:

    Idk how to make my name a link, so its [BeautifullyMehh]….

    When people say i have short hair or im ball headed, i always say "By choice, whts your excuse?"

  • Unknown says:

    Favorite question: What are you mixed with?

    My favorite response….Black and Jesus.

  • Anonymous says:

    Hey don't question my hair and I wont question if thats yours.

    And the perm comment I always come back to I'm happy to be nappy and look at the surprise facial expressions, as they feel how soft my hair is.

  • Anonymous says:

    I agree with Brianna..but what really burns me is when certain so called friends that are NATURAL look at you sideways and make comments after your BC like "I gotta get used to your new look..Im so used to your flowing long hair". First of all you don't have to get used to Sh#!…It's my hair!

  • Anonymous says:

    Awwwwwe?… I'm so sorry you have to hide behind your hair.(with my Nicky Minaj screw face)..as I walk away.

  • Brianna says:

    College girl! You are dead wrong for that lol! A interesting question i have is why are the people with the worst hair issues the ones who talk about naturals the most.

    The only time i've gone THERE on someone is when my cousin asked me why i cut my hair. I looked at her clothes that were covered with broken off hair, picked some strands off, put it in her face and told her "I got tired of this happening"…ironically…my cousin went BC last month.

  • Anonymous says:

    I am going to relax it again when I decide that what God gave me wasn't good enough.

  • Anonymous says:

    Damn!! Where was this post a few weeks ago when the moon was full and the haters were throwing darts! LOL

  • Anonymous says:

    PAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! hands down to @collegegirl.I have to tell my cousins that one cause I know they are gonna ask! =)

  • T.Turner says:

    Anon_5:15pm and CollegeGirl….woooow, ya'll have me dying here at work! HAHA

    Dang, I wish I could contribute something really witty. In my experience I've never really had to defend myself, which I guess is pretty lucky. My only "comeback" has just been "at least it's all mine and I can take care of it by myself" LOL, lame! But very true. (^_^)

  • Anonymous says:

    I am sure my cousin or my mother for that matter is going to ask when am I going to perm again or why am I still wearing my hair "like that"…my response.."I decided to live a scab free life…so how did your last perm go..that whole o?"scab picking puss oozing thing was just nasty…I'm over it…hey did you ever get your edges to grow back?" Yes…TRY ME!

  • Anonymous says:

    @Anon 5:19

    i ALWAYS say something similar to that
    "when are you going to do something to yours?"

  • Anonymous says:

    Q: Why did you cut your hair . . . are you depressed ?
    A: No, I just couldn't live a "lye" any longer .

    Q: What are you going to do with it ?
    A: Things you can do with your hair, and even more that you CAN'T . (smile .)

    I'm not good at snappy comebacks, but I figured it wouldn't hurt to try .

  • AshleyCamille says:

    @College Girl….BHAHAHAHAHA…funny thing is, my aunt had the nerve to get on me about my hair too…as I stare at the HUGE bald spot on her temple…lol

  • Julissa says:

    you ladies are soooo funny! I don't anyone will ask me about it right now, but they will when I go back to my country to visit family. I'll probably use some of your responses. LOL

  • Anonymous says:

    I will say because I will not croak over without hair like you would

  • Anonymous says:

    You have just read my mind. As I will be seeing some fam that I haven't seen in years and I am sure that they will expect to see my long, thick, relaxed hair. Well sorry it will be a kinky-curly fro..lol. My comeback is simply put…"It is MY hair, now when are you going to do something with yours?"

  • Anonymous says:

    I wish somebody with a relaxer WOULD ask me about my hair.

    Them: "Ooooh…I see you're going for the "earthy" look."
    Me: "Ooooh…I see you're going for the scorched the earth" look.

  • Anonymous says:

    Q: What did you use on your hair to get it like that?

    A: Spackling compound. No, really, I did. Girl, try it out.(said with a totally straight face).

    LOL. They think you're crazy anyway. May as well give them a little fun.

    Have a great Thanksgiving!!!

  • Anonymous says:

    DEAD @ CollegeGirl.

    I will remember that one.

    I'm not good with snappy comebacks.

  • Anonymous says:

    Recommended holiday responses to assinine questions.

    Q: When are you going to relax?
    A: After I eat this big turkey dinner, I'm going relax, stretch out and go to sleep!

    Q: Why did you cut your hair?
    A: Wanted to make room for all this good food!

    Q: What did you do to your hair?
    A: Nothing. Isn't it lovely? (said while shaking hair)

    Q: When are you going to get a perm?
    A: When my hair becomes temporary.

  • Emerald says:

    lol @ CollegeGirl ^ You win the gold medal!!! 3 thumbs up

  • CollegeGirl says:

    Lol my aunt once told me: "When are you gonna get a perm?" to which I replied "When you get some edges."

    NO ONE in my family has DARED to try me about my hair again. BAOW.

  • kimmie0810 says:

    When asked what I put in my hair to get it "like that", I reply: DNA.

    Or when asked what I'm mixed with: Mom & Dad.

    Any negative comments about the length of my hair are always met with responses that assure them my hair IS growing back but there may not be hope for whatever is ailing or failing them in the looks dept.

    And now after my salon mis-hap last week, I can "brag" that a stylist REFUSED to trim my hair b/c it doesn't need it. Not a split end to be found even though I haven't trimmed since May.

  • Anonymous says:

    It's what the Good Lord blessed me with, and I'm happy it's on my head instead of on my dresser (in my drawer, etc)

  • Dionna J says:

    Wow! I just BCed 2 days ago and I was JUST thinking about what I was going to say at the in-law's house when I start getting questioned. I'm just going to say "It's a health decision. I want to live to see my grandkids and exposing my body to harmful chemicals wasn't helping with that goal."

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