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Curly Nikki

Curly Hair and Idiosyncratic Tendencies

By January 27th, 202148 Comments

Curly Hair and Idiosyncratic Tendencies

Two CN readers submitted similar questions. Check them out and share your stories!

Shelli writes:

I am obsessed with destroying split ends. I can’t stand to see them, especially when they’re those branched splits up the hair strand or one of those “eye of a needle” type splits. Whenever I spot one, no matter where I am, I become fixated on eliminating it, because I might not be able to find that same hair later!! It seems that I spot them a whole lot easier now too because I’ve been rocking TnC!!!

So, a few months ago, I started “packing” a pair of sheathed hair scissors in my purse (in addition to the pair in my bathroom at home) in order to conduct search and destroys when spotting split ends at random times during the day (at work, in the car, etc.). My friends at work and boyfriend have witnessed me doing this and think I’m a nut, of course!! A lovable, entertaining nut. But, a nut nonetheless. I just laugh maniacally and tell them, “It must be done!!” LOL!! So, my question is:

What, if any, “idiosyncratic” (read: crazy) tendencies have you developed due to your natural hair?

Miranda Kelly writes:

I have a question, do you think it is extreme not wanting to use a brush on your hair or not wanting to lay your head down, let’s say when watching TV on your couch? The reason I ask this is because I’m like that. If I’m going to pull my hair back I only use my hands, never use a brush, for some reason I think the brush might break my hair! Also, if I’m watching TV on the couch, I go find my satin scarf to protect my hair- – I don’t want my hair touching any other fiber that is not my satin scarf.

Would you call this extreme behavior?

CN Responds:
LOL! This reminds me of the recent ‘sexy time’ post and how some of you (including myself!) move the satin pillow around with you. Like Shelli, I’m guilty of obsessing over splits, carrying scissors in my purse, and snipping in public. I can also relate to Miranda… I hate laying my head on cotton blankets and other rough surfaces, and often notice tension in my neck when I should be relaxing… straining to keep my hair safe. When staying in a hotel or at my mom’s, I lay my satin scarf over the cotton pillowcase 🙂 Don’t judge me!

Dish ladies! What strange habits have you developed?!


  • Cipriana says:

    Hello beautiful ladies. After exactly 3 years and 9 months of being completely natural I can relate to everyone. I am not obsessed with split ends because I haven't used heat in a year and have very few but I do not like when people touch my hair without asking! I'm also tall and my 4b-c hair is thick and long (between 17-20 inches) so I always have something in my hair (usually something to do with nature) so I am constantly walking around bending, ducking and dodging bullets like I am in the Matrix all to avoid snagging my hair on something (even thou I keep my hair in protective styles almost all the time).

    As for sexy time my man knows! Just because I have long hair does not mean you can pull or grab, he can definitely touch all he wants but in the direction my hair is laying, lol. My hair is in a scarf most of the time when I am home. One day at our place my man said "Can I see something different" so I changed the color of my scarf! He got the picture and is completely content with how I am. Seriously if a man is going to leave me because I wear a scarf on my head every night or my hair routine on to the next! I am a black woman with someone who loves me for me, good hair day or bad hair day, dry, oily, scarf and all! Besides like anything you want in life it takes hard work and healthy hair is no exception!

    Blessings to everyone on their hair journey!

  • SaBrina says:

    Now for the people that pull out their hair with the tweezers that has definitley got to hurt, because I know when I do my eyebrows that hurts like a muthf…r. If I don't have time to get the gray up front or dyed another color by the dyes, then I will get an masacara wand that has semi permanent color in it until the next wash and put that bad boy onto my hair.

  • SaBrina says:

    I hate finding SSK in the hair, those things are like "Lays" potato chip you just cant stop at…… or even gray hair, out comes one and another comes back in yet again. I'm like detangling my hair and trying to get as much of the loose hair out as possible, and then trying to see if any of the SSk are still in the hair is a killer. I think that most of the stuff is in my mind and that I shouldn't over react so much to it, but I have to cut everyday, and watch the length to make sure that I don't cut to much off of my head. I really do like the length on my head but it's not good having to be searching for SSK all the time, instead of just loving my hair. But I may have to keep the rollers or just try blowing it out on a cool setting to help with the SSK and knots.

  • Anonymous says:

    LOL at Kimberlan! The "nigga please" bubble! I can definitely relate to EVERYONE's comments. I'm extremely guilty of picking at my hair when it's loose, trying to untangle my hair strand by strand. Definitely not good for my hair :/

  • Ms. Overproof says:

    This post is hilarity. I dont have this obsession with my hair as much as I do my eyebrows. Seems I NEVER can detect stubble until Im driving in the car. For some reason the rearview mirror is the perfect mirror for getting upclose and personal on my brows. So whenever I need to do a shape up at home, I get in my car in the driveway and go to town. THIS is what happens when you get old. I used to think my mom had strange habits, now I caught my son giving me the side eye the other day. WHATEVS!!!!

  • Margaret says:

    I have always been OCD about hair. I love talking about it and sharing and learning from others. Ever since I made the decision to become natural July 08', I have developed an obsession for conditioners as well. I hear you Skillsgill. I have a rubbermaid tub containing bottles and bottles of rinse out, deep treatments and leave in conditioners. I use a lot!!! I mean a lot, esp when rinsing Henna and other Ayurvedic powders.

    I have this thing w/ silk and satin hair coverings as well. When lying on the couch my trusty large satin scarf is their for my protection. lol Looks like a lot of us are the same boat.

    Question for those with a scissor fixation…I can see how you could possibly do s/d however how do you trim w/o straightening?

  • Kimberlan says:

    Ever since I became fully natural( by that I mean no dye or heat straightening anymore) it seems people feel the obligation to touch my hair. My freshly styled, just tamed all the frizz hair. I'm like seriously, "NO, keep those frizz causing grubby little hands to yourself!" My boyfriend feels he just "has" to run his fingers throw it, at least once out of the day.

    I turned into this wigged-out squirrel thing that ducks and dodges when ever someone gets too close or is walking behind me. I felt I needed a hair bubble or something or "nigga-please" spray.

    But, I came to realize that the fixation was just curiosity. Not to brag but my hair is pretty damn luxurious. I had to understand that people "must" know what beautiful, thick, curly, red, long, shiny, bouncy hair feels like. It's just human nature (LOL).

  • Anonymous says:

    I always talk about my hair and always try advise people n take pic on my phone! '.' I am also scissor happy and have dusted my ends twice in two weeks!I can't part from my bonnet either! LOLI guess there is hope as we recognize what we are doing. 🙂

  • LoveBrownSugar says:

    I've just recently BC'd myself and of course (as I'm not a professional) there are still a few little permed pieces sticking out. Over the past 5 days I have become SO obsessed with trimming my ends, I literally run home to spot strays. It's ridic!

  • Anonymous says:

    I'm going on a over night date nite with the hubby and I've packed my satin pillow case to place over the hotel pillow. Lol!

  • Beverly says:

    @Tasha my hubby feels the same way. I to can go on for hours about natural hair. I also have a tendency to teach my daughter and her friends about how they should be taking care of their hair. I did not know what to do for my as a child so I told him it is one of my life's missions to teach children to appreciate their hair.

  • Skillsgill says:

    Shelli again. You guys complete me.

    Okay, this probably goes without saying, but others would probably find my need to buy every conditioner in existence despite the inordinate number of conditioners that I currently own a bit extreme. I swear, there are five conditioners, at a minimum, in the shower (HE HH, Sally GVP Conditioning Balm and The Detangler, DevaCare One, V05 Clarifying Lime, Oyin Honey Hemp, TIGI Moisture Maniac that I just freed from under the sink [we'll get to under the sink in a sec, but I'll say this, I'm not impressed with MM] and an almost empty bottle of YTCu [wasn't impressed with that one either]). Now, back to under the sink. One extra large bottle of HE HH, three bottles of Knot Today (both of these are absolute keepers and I stock up), newly purchased bottles of Aussie Moist and Darcy's Botanical Pumpkin Seed (thanks Nikki:/). Then there's the deep conditioners: Three jars of JessiCurl Weekly DC in the fridge (again, a keeper that I stock up on – replaced my CD Tui Hair Smoothie and was less expensive) and a jar of MyHoneyChild Olive You DC (thanks again Nikki;). Yet, why do I have the nerve to be submitting Curl to Curl questions in an attempt to win a GC for Curlmart? I've lost my ever loving mind and obviously need to find something else to do with my money (and, I have three different savings accounts plus two retirement accounts that receive monthly and bi-monthly deposits!!).

    Oh, and one last thing, if I hadn't left it at my sister's house, I'd be sitting next to my boyfriend watching Dexter right now with a deep conditioner in my hair, plastic cap AND A WINTER HAT on my head. Yup, lost it. LOL!!

  • Anonymous says:

    Haha I do the same thing at work with my shears. Split ends dont stand as chance once I spot them because I feel like i'll lose them and won't find them when I get home. My coworkers give me the side eye!

  • Anonymous says:

    I drive with a pair of tweezers in my car. At stop lights, I look for stray grays/hennaed grays that that need a henna treatment and pull them out. It's a sickness. LOL Thank goodness there isnt a crime against "tweezing while driving".

  • Fatima says:

    OMG…I thought I was the ONLY one who initiated a daily 'cease and desist' crusade against split ends! And all this time, my boyfriend thought i was crazy….

  • Skillsgill says:

    This is Shelli. First, I was in the car driving to work this morning, cutting ugly split ends because sunshine provides the best lighting for spotting henna highlighted breaks!!!

    Second, I'm cracking up at all of the comments about laying hair on surfaces that are not silk!! It do try to remember to pack my satin pillowcase when travelling and always have a bonnet or satin scarf too. I do eye the pillow on my sofa suspiciously when taking a nap, but don't always put a scarf on before taking a midday snooze!! I don't worry about my car headrest because it's leather. It's black and doesn't show oil slicks, but I know I should clean it regularly because those oils do collect dust and dirt.

    Third, MissCurly, been there done that!! I've been caught often with my scissors out in my office and, had the nerve to sneak and snip an end in the cafeteria after finishing lunch!! I know I"m going overboard, but just can't stop!!

    Fourth, OrganicBloom, why did you have to put that thought about dirty hands on theatre headrests in my head?!?!?! OMG, I already refuse to touch bathroom doors with my bare hands, now I'll be bringing a scarf to the theatre and will have to carry it home in a plastic bag to wash!!!! WHY OH WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT?!?!? LOL!!

  • Tasha says:

    OK, two things

    First…when I was younger I was always kind of conceited. Not stuck up, but I had very high self esteem. I remember when I was in high school and I would wake up on Saturday mornings with rollers in my head and go to the car for something or out on the balcony. My mom would cringe because I was going outside in rollers and jammies. I would say "Don't worry Mom. Even when I'm ugly I'm cute". LOL! Sadly with weight gain and age that attitude has died down a lot. But I feel it coming back ever since I mini chopped last year. It's hard to stay out of the mirror. It's so bad that at work while I'm at my desk I find myself every hour or so looking into the back of a CD just to catch a glimpse of my hair. People have caught me as they pass by my desk and I know I seem so vain, but I can't help it!

    Second, my husband loves my hair and loves me natural. So much that he doesn't even want me to straighten for a length check. He's challenged me to wait two whole years. I'm already at 15 months so I wonder if I can make it the remaining 9 months. He's even tried to grow his hair and is using some of my products(I cringe at that because those products are not cheap, but I digress.) All that being said, he says I talk about natural hair waaaay too much. Every time I'm thinking about a new style, a new product or anything dealing with hair, I can go on forever. He says he loves my natural hair but man can I give his ears a break. Meanwhile I'm thinking…Don't say @$%! to me about Fantasy Football. Even though he's right. LOL!

  • LBell says:

    One of the many reasons why I got rid of my locs was because I was starting to obsess over lint, so much so that I was reevaluating sitting on certain sofas and, more importantly, wearing certain hats, scarves, and sweaters. I live in Iowa, where it can get down to -30F or even lower with wind chill. I don't like parkas and I don't want to have to wear an extra ski cap just to protect my HAIR.

    I wear wool hats in winter now. The way I see it, they're only on for an hour at the most in a 24-hour day. It's not like I'm using a 450-degree flat iron that can cause instantaneous damage. For me personally it has to be JUST HAIR at most times in my life…

  • CURLYNIKKI says:

    LOL! you guys are the best!

  • The Retro Natural says:

    I think I only have one small one…I don't like my hair being smushed by the headrest in my car so sometimes I won't lean all the way back. I don't have any others though.

  • Butterfly3000 says:

    Ha! I was one of the 'carry my pillow' around with me folks. So happy to hear I'm not crazy…or at least I'm not alone in my craziness. I think I'm gonna get a satin pillowcase for one of the couch pillows that I lay on cause I have a hard time getting up to get my scarf.

    On another note, after browsing CN for like the 4th time today….when I saw those sciccors I was like OMG. I just came from the bathroom and saw one my hairs on the sink that had the needle eye split in it. I was getting all excited to read about that problem. I will not start the search and destroy method….I would not have any hair.

  • Anonymous says:

    My hair has not touched any surface unless I'm wearing my satin cap in over a year. I'm obsessive about it. I thought I was the only one. If I'm tired, I either prop my head up for go get my satin cap. I'm sure I'm going to have neck issues in my older ages from all the strain I'm putting on it now trying to keep in the moisture by not resting. Lol.

  • Anonymous says:

    I keep taking photographs of my hair…… I can't stop.

  • Anonymous says:

    I usually wear my hair in a bun. The bun isteslf is loose, but I usually use a little coconut oil/shea butter with water and then a little gel tied down with a silk scarf for 15 min in the morning to tame the fly-aways. For some reason, there are some hairs that absolutely REFUSE to lay down. By the time I get to work, these fools have popped up. On a humid day, they are really acting up. LOL. My OCD kicks in and I feel like I'm constantly examining the numbers of hairs that are popping up. When the flyway hairs are really numerous, one of my co-workers says, "Your "Thomas Jefferson fro" is really showing today." Of course, this only makes me crazier. I'm like, "What is a Thomas Jefferson fro?" Apparently, Jefferson had some wild hairs that stuck out the side of his head. Think he used a doorag too? LOL

  • OrganicBloom says:

    I travel with a silk pillowcase, if I'm going on a road trip I put my hair in a loose puff or bun and cover it with my scarf. Oh, I also get sketched out by public headrests and shared upholstered furniture (lice, bedbugs and general grossness) so I wear a scarf and/or bring a hooded sweatshirt to the movies, on train and plane trips. Just thinking about people leaving the restroom and holding onto the headrests as they return to their seats makes me ill. LOL.

  • Anonymous says:

    I will awkwardly sit forward and stay that way for 30 minutes at a time (or however long it takes) rather than lay my head on anything rough (or dirty of course) and I've been that way since before I was natural.

  • Anonymous says:

    @ Tinuke: I'm scared of bobby pins and silicone conditioners as well. I used booby pins in the front of my hair for months at a time, and now I just feel like that area is thin. Maybe not. It could be in my head. At any rate, if I use bobby pins again, it's gonna be a brand new package, and I'm gonna have to throw them away after using them for like a week lol

  • Anonymous says:

    I don't like my hair to touch rough surfaces on sofas, car seats, theater seats, or even my chair at work. I think that this is totally legitimate lol Besides the fact that my hair product will rub off onto the surface, I'd rather take precautions than see a thin spot/damaged spot on my head from constant rubbing when I rest my head on things. The split ends thing… que cera… I'm on a personal "no cutting" challenge anyway because I've compromised my length for obsessive and usually unnecessary trims. And now I want it back!

  • CURLYNIKKI says:

    total OCD! I can't go to sleep at night until the kitchen is clean.

  • Unknown says:

    Y'all crazy! hahaha! I should probably be more diligent about cutting split ends, but I'm not. I definitely tie up my hair before lying down though and the car seat thing is hilarious b/c I do the same thing without realizing it! But the worse is when my bf goes to put his arm around my shoulders…I lean forward so he doesn't snag my hair! So sad…

  • Leo the Yardie Chick says:

    You know how prisons have some inmates on Suicide Watch? My mother has me on Scissors Watch, especially now that the relaxed bits are off and I have 1" of damaged natural ends left. *hand twitch*

  • Anonymous says:

    seriously, Nikki. i can't. i chill on the couch without worrying, i don't obsess over SSKs or split ends, mostly becuase i get overwhelmed thinking about how much hair i have. i am very lackadaisical. most of my idiosyncrasies revolve around food so i don't have time to develop any for my hair 😉

  • Chéri says:

    LOL…..C'mon Son, I Think This Is A Form Of O.C.D. You Guys Have!…..Funny Post Love It!

  • CURLYNIKKI says:

    LOL!!! Keep them coming!

    Sarah… c'mon… you know you got something for us!

  • MissCurly says:

    lmao I love forums like this and connecting with other naturals. We are our own unique group.

    I can most certainly cosign with Shelli. I have got into a bad habit of cutting split ends anywhere I am. Especially at my desk at work. I can sit there in front of my computer and see a split end and I must destroy it! I'll grab the scissors and cut it which leads to the search for more. I've been caught so many times. Once somebody walked by and said.."Gotta get those split ends". I was embarressed at first but then started laughing cause I won't stop. It's an obession. lol

  • Anonymous says:

    i know this is going to get interesting… let me grab some popcorn.

    BTW, i have nothing to report.

  • Coilybella says:

    I have so many!!
    I am scared to use bobby ins for fear of snagging my hair.
    I am scared of using conditioners with cones for fear of build up which I know I can remove with ACV or my Curls Clarifying Shampoo
    I am scared to wear my hair out even for just one day for fear of tangles

  • Kristen says:

    that's funny because last night while watching TV on the big cushy chair I was thinking, "I shouldn't put my head down because it might absorb all the moisture in my hair!!" LOL But I was too lazy to go upstairs and get my scarf so I was careful about my head. And I tried to rest my head on my arm to avoid the fabric of the chair!!! LOL

    @ HairPolitik–I am SO guilty of the same thing. But I only do it when my hair is out and curly, or up in a pony and curly. If it's straight, in a bun or twisted up I don't do it!! I wonder what that's about. I know it obviously gets way more tangled when it's not twisted but it's a bad habit I need to break. Hair all over the place!!! LOL

  • HairPolitik says:

    When I first went natural, I wasn't used to having hair that tangled so much. Before I knew it, my hands started reaching in my hair and breaking the tangles and pulling them. I was literally pulling out my hair. I keep my hair in protective styles to avoid this habit. When it's down, I usually try my best to keep it moisturized so I numb the urge to pull my hair out! How's that for crazy?!?! Did anyone else do this?

  • Passion says:

    This post makes me laugh. I just told myself I should pick up some shears to carrying around for the very same reason. And I also make sure to put my scarf on before relaxing on the couch but sometimes I just lay on my arm so my head is proped. Instead of laying my scarf on the pillow when I'm traveling I have a stain pillow case I replace the cotton one with that I use only for traveling. It's good to know I'm not alone!! :-0)

  • Anonymous says:

    I do not carry scissors, however I do travel with my spritz bottle

  • Anonymous says:

    I decided to wear a weave for the winter months, so my head and neck can now relax… lol… and I’m glad to know I’m not the only one having this behavior. Hmmm, and now that I think about it, I don’t even rest my head on the card seat, Wow, this is crazy.. lol
    Regarding the brushes, I do the exact same thing, no brushes for my edges, just hands.

  • vonnie says:

    I really need some good shears because I'm obsessed with single strand knots..i search and destroy them constantly….not great for my hair i imagine, not how I get rid of them, but I definitely have developed that tendency.


  • mood_indigo says:

    I don't think it's crazy at all. Now, I haven't gone as far as the scissors in the purse but I do lay the scarf across pillows, couches, and yes, even the head rest in the car. I have leather seats so that helps but when I am in another persons car I will not put my head back! I'm sure there are other things I do I just can't think of them right now.

  • wyldhoney says:

    Ms. Lisa, what a great idea! My neck muscles are constantly aching because I can't rest my head back against the seatback. Satin headrest covers should be easy enough to sew up. Added to my weekend shopping list – a satin scarf that matches my car upholstery!

  • Anonymous says:

    I find some solace in knowing that others feel the same way as me. I am guilty of being a traveling pillow carrier; if I spend the night somewhere other than my house, I will have pillow in tow. We travel as a pair. I also have been known to carry spray bottles with my homemade spritzer and will spray my hair ANY and EVERY where. By BF and the poor soul who is within an arms length distance of me absolutely hates this. But I agree with Lisa, I work hard for these tresses.

  • Ms. Lisa says:

    I have the same obsession with knots, splits and non silk or satin surfaces where my head may rest. I have considered a silk/satin scarf to lay over my shoulders while sitting at my desk at work and I'm not resting my hair to watch tv unless there is a satin bonnet or pillowcase close by. Who am I kidding, I'm thinking about silk/satin head rest covers for my vehicle. I've worked to hard for this hair. LOL

  • Hillerie Camille says:

    This is so funny. Yes, I too will lay my scarf over a cotton pillow case to protect my hair. I often worry about my hair getting snagged on car seats. They will get you every time. My crazy obesession is with the bebees in my kitchen (those little curl balls). I hate those things. I'm on a mission to destroy them. Usually, I stretch them out and cut them, or I'm constantly brushing them. Call me crazy, but, I want my edges to lay down.

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