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Curly Nikki

‘I Want Hair Like Momma’- Kids & Relaxers

By January 27th, 202138 Comments

Kattya writes:

Hey Nikki!

A friend of mine posted this on Facebook. I don’t have any kids yet and had never thought about the effects a mother’s hair being relaxed has on her daughter. I thought this news report was very interesting, touching, and empowering. Thought I’d share with the CurlyNikki community:

38 Comments

  • Anonymous says:

    This is my first time seeing this report. What that woman did for her child was phenomenal. Now…..on the other hand, I have to agree with a comment above, WHY are Black women in the media. Its either about why we don't have a man OR why we wearing our hair in a "natural state". Now why didn't the news report say anything about the synthetic fibers are alkali, causing the scalp to itch. Or why they didn't report about wigs having little choppy hairs up under the wig causing the your scalp to itch. This story without a doubt is wonderful, yet they aren't going deep enough for me, which makes me feel that they are picking on us like they usually do.

  • Anonymous says:

    I can't wait to show my 10 year old daughter this video. We are in a constant battle about her hair. She has been bombarded with images of long straight flowing hair for so long (school, tv, etc…) that she thinks that is the only way to go. Slowly but surely, I am changing her mind. I have a TWA (BC Nov 2010) and she always ask why I won't let it grow. I like my TWA. It looks good on me, I think and I get lots of compliments. Part of my problem with my daughter is that, although I have studied various websites on how to care for her hair, I still struggled with styling it. Recently, I have discovered how to do her hair and she finally likes the twists and twist-outs. Her hair, when stretched, goes to the middle of her back so she wants that length all the time. Again, a constant battle. One that I am fiercly trying to win and hopefully she will one day get to the point where it's not even an issue. Hopefully, we all will. Be blessed my beautiful sisters!

  • Anonymous says:

    This is all of those things. Its political, emotional, spiritual, and any other facet that this debilitating concept of racism has permeated. The doctor didn't mention the dangers of the constant chemical exposure of relaxers. Its simply not healthy ladies. I saw this video and it truly touched my heart. Id love to see all black mothers embrace their natural hair for their babies. Its a beautiful and necessary thing. Id like to know why we willingly subject ourselves to poison and health issues with our scalp just for a look? No other race of women has to deal with that. Even with commercial dyes, they are dangerous. Why not embrace the beauty of shiny healthy gray hair?

  • Anonymous says:

    This story brought me to tears. I have 3 sons with three different textures of hair. My husband & I have been striving to teach them to love their hair and to love our natural hair. I have been trying to teach my sister, but she is so insecure and scarred from a necessary haircut during her childhood.
    I want to say something about whites and dying. We as African Americans dye & rinse our hair also and it is widespread and contributes to some of our hair loss. No one wants their hair to be gray. I see many women in their 40's & 50's with dyed hair and thinning crowns wondering what happened to their hair.
    I don't think white people set the standard for our hair. I think that we determine what is acceptable and professional. Delta 007

  • ebhusl12 says:

    Beautiful video. I almost cried when the lady cut her hair for her daughter. I don't understand the negative comments either. I think it's a beautiful thing.

  • Alex says:

    I love it. Especially the mommy who cut her hair for her daughter. I'm so proud and inspired to be natural and to be rocking my beautiful twa…. Way to go ladies.

  • channing says:

    I also am a lillte sadded by the negatiivity on here about this report, I thought it was very well done, accurate, and didn't present any false or alternate image of black women, it did what a report should, got the facts and reported them, i didn't see anything to be ashamed or upset or embarrased about.

    Honestly id rather see this story a thousand times than the "everyone is bad, doom and gloom" that we usually see.

    the report did bring a tear to my eye surprisingly, it was very beautiful and congrats to the news anchor for taking such a huge step, anyone in media knows how difficult that is and I applaude her

  • The Melanista says:

    Awesome story!!! So proud of all the women for taking the step to wear their hair natural! I love it so much!

  • Anonymous says:

    I love the video no matter how white people may perceive the harsh stories of our hair care process. It was important for me to stop relaxing because of health reasons and to maintain healthy hair. I also have a three year-old son and I wanted him to know what a natural black woman looks like. I want him to appreciate a woman even in her natural state. What better way to start? I started with myself. Women are concerned about their young daughters feeling confident with natural hair but I think we should be just as concerned about our young sons accepting our natural hair.

  • kitka82 says:

    Beautiful! I was also brought to tears because I have a 3-year old daughter. Even though she has different hair from me (I am black and her dad is multiracial), I thought about how I would feel when she realized that I relaxed my hair, and how I would answer if she ever asked me why. My reasons were not holding up in my own head, so I went natural.

    I love that this is a positive story about black women. Who cares if it's about hair?! Hello? All of y'all who are "outraged" are holding on to prejudices and insecurity. Let. It. Go.

  • Anonymous says:

    OMG…I have to share this video because it brought tears to my eyes. I think it was courageous of the reporter to go natural and go against the mainstream in her profession. It was her way of pushing for more acceptance of us wearing our hair natural. I don't see anything negative about this. Lighten up people.

  • Aishah L says:

    I went Natural because of this… About a year ago my niece said to me "Auntie I went pretty hair like your wigs because my hair is NAPPY" when I heard that I got so upset. I said who told you that my mom, my friends. I quickly reassured my niece about who she is and how beautiful she is so since that day I got rid of my wigs and the perm… I also have to daughters two that are 2&3 and they tell me all the time Mommie I don't want to wear little ponytails I went to wear my hair curly like yours… Women we are what our daughters will duplicate…Peace and Love

  • diamondcurls says:

    I was moved by this story as well. I applaud the journalist for using her job in the media to bring our natural hair to light. There needs to be more stories like this. The mom in this story is absolutely wonderful. What a great thing to do to show her daughter that she is beautiful just the way she is.

    I can tell you to decision for me to take this journey to go natural was not an easy one. I had to fight all of the images of long straight silky hair that I had known all of my life to get to where I am today. I absolutely love my natural hair and wonder why we ever thought our hair was ugly. We need to bring to light that struggle and that we are coming out in droves to love our natural hair.

    To the negative comments made, I think it prudent to bring this to light through the media if we can. I mean we have been bombarded by the media in ads, videos, etc with images of relaxed hair and products. Why not use the media to reverse all that we have been conditioned to believe makes us beautiful by others and show them that we speak for ourselves when it comes to our beauty? I don't see anything negative with this story. Just the opposite and I am eagerly waiting for more.

  • Unknown says:

    Great story!

  • Anonymous says:

    Just for the record: Most new naturals claim the their white friends didn't even know what black hair texture is like, yet white people are blamed for black people feeling insecure about their true texture…why does there have to be a villain whenever someone wants to transform? I really don't think that majority of white people care what black hair is like and others envy the texture. Most curlies claim that they get most resistance from their bblack friends and family not white people. Stop making up a hypothetical scenaro and passing it off as fact…these stories are not news…

    Indigo

  • DvaAuNaturel says:

    I loved this video and emailed the reporter. I think some who are posting negative comments are missing the significance and point. I understand the feelings of it appearing as though our "issues" are always on display but personally feel this is not the case this time. The big deal is that we are CONSTANTLY bombarded, ALL women to be honest, with messages that we need to be a certain way, whether it be that we need to be thin, have blond or straight hair, dress a certain way or wear our hair a certain way. Anything other than to just BE YOURSELF. For Black women in particular we've always been told, via TV, media, videos, magazines, and by each other too, for the most part, that our kinky/curly hair was/is not pretty/beautiful but that straight hair was/is. I think the point is being made that you can be beautiful and that there is nothing wrong with rocking your curls. The story was to further share it and hopefully help change/encourage others, if for nothing else for their health and so they can keep their hair (as the doctor and reporter mentioned). Very positive message, IMO.

  • Kattya says:

    Holy Cow! Totally not the response I was expecting. The main reason I shared the video was b/c of the storyline about the mother going natural for the daughter. It wasn't meant to be racist or political or demeaning. I guess the reall story starts at 2:00?!? I dunno what else to say to the people who are enraged by this story.
    I was in tears too! Statements like " Oh my gosh, mommy. You look so beautiful. You have hair like me!" and " I love my natural hair. It's like my mom's and it's beautiful." really hit home . No kids yet but,my sister also went natural after having a little girl and now I get it. Also when that one lady said, "I'm seeing myself for the first time ever." it took me back to the seconds after I BC'd in my bathroom. Happy Thanksgiving!

  • Anonymous says:

    I can totally identify with this. My daughter wanted her hair relaxed mostly because of mine being that way. Now that I've transitioned and BC'd, she's a little upset. Now, I'm working to 'un-condition' her and teach her that natural is beautiful.

  • Unknown says:

    I don't understand the negative comments **wish you had a dislike button I could click on beside all these anonymous people!!!*** Personally I will ignore the foolishness!! The video brought me to tears…there is nothing like a mother's love!! In order to show her daughter that we are just alike!! She took her daughter with her to the barbershop to show her …you are beautiful just the way you are "Look Mommy has curls just like you!"…. OMG it moved me to tears…. So many little girls want to look like the images they see on TV!! Now she can look to her mom as her role model and inspiration instead of thinking she has to be like the girls in the media!! 5 stars for such a touching video and for all moms that will do anything for their child (reminds me of my mom!!) Thanks to the fan that sent the video and to the mom that touched my heart!!! Thanks Nik for sharing!!!

  • ZoeAaralyn says:

    I also do not understand why negative comments stemming from this video. For some of you, or maybe majoridy of you, you were too once blind to the fact that you could grow out beautiful natural hair. This video is for those same people, who once were victims to the stigmas and stereotypes about black women, straight hair and natural hair. You may see the attention as negative, but I see it as insightful and as progression for natural women like us.

    For me, this video has as much substance and instills as much pride in the natural community as did the Sesame Street "I love my hair" video. This woman is just trying to show her daughter that she is beautiful with what God gave her.

  • Anonymous says:

    How is it racism that people of other cultures don't know what our natural hair looks like when for years the majority of black women wouldn't be caught DEAD out in public without a press or a perm? I don't really understand the negative responses towards this video. Are we seriously throwing down the 'racist' card at a video on natural hair? Really?

    The majority of my friends are white (b/c of the schools and programs i was in in HS and college) and many of them had questions about my hair, because it was totally different than what they've seen on other black people. The majority of them told me they liked it at some point or another (and if they didn't they didn't say anything negative about it).

    Anyways, I enjoyed this video!

  • Anonymous says:

    I was also moved by this story! I was pregnant w/my #2 daughter when I decided to transition. I don't want them to ever have the desire to relax just so their hair would look like mine. Thanks for sharing!

  • Palesa says:

    The woman who cut her hair for her daughter (and herself) is divine!!!

    Lovely message on a lovely website. 🙂

  • Anonymous says:

    ITS SAD THAT PEOPLE ACT LIKE ITS SO SAD TO BE NATURAL OR SO UNBELIEVABLE! THATS SO IGNORANT. LETS TALK ABOUT THE REAL ISSUE WHICH IS RACISM! RACISM IS WHY WE THINK THE WAY WE THINK! RACISM IS WHY WHITE PEOPLE DONT EVEN KNOW ABOUT OUR HAIR TEXTURE! RACISM IS WHY WE DO STUPID SHOWS LIKE THIS, AND LOOK IGNORANT WHILE WE DO THEM! RACISM IS WHY YOU BLACK WOMEN FEEL SORRY FOR YOURSELVES. STOP LETTING WHITE PEOPLE SEE THE NEGATIVE THINGS IN OUR COMMUNITY INSTEAD OF THE POSITIVE!

  • Anonymous says:

    I HATE THE FACT THAT WE (AS BLACK PEOPLE) ALWAYS HAVE TO SHARE THESE "POOR ME" STORIES WITH WHITE PEOPLE. LETS ASK THE WHITE LADY IF SHE IS GOING TO STOP DYING HER HAIR BLONDE OR PUTTING WEAVE IN HER HAIR! I HAVE NATURAL HAIR AND I NEVER FELT LIKE IT WAS UNPROFESSIONAL. WHAT IS UNPROFESSIONAL ANYWAY? IS WHITE HAIR UNPROFESSIONAL? WHY DO WE HAVE TO DISCUSS OUR ISSUES WITH THE WHITE PEOPLE WHO ENSLAVED US AND BROUGHT ON THIS TYPE OF IGNORANT THINKING!

  • Anonymous says:

    To QueenKia: No you were not he only one who got choked up! This piece was very moving. I can definitely empathize. My primary reason for going natural was my daughter as well!

  • Anonymous says:

    Oh please you all stop being such Negative Nancys! This is a fine thing!

  • QueenKia says:

    I hope I wasn't the only one who got chocked up 🙂 Thanks for sharing this story. I love this new community that is developing of acceptance, love, and sisterhood- all from our curly locks!

  • Anonymous says:

    Men and women are judged very differently when it comes to beauty. Especially when it comes to hair. Does the world shut down when a man shaves his head? Nope. If I woman does it, there will be some issues with some people. Doesn't a man's hair grow faster than a woman's hair? Most mothers don't tell their daughters "you need to go get a haircut". There is a big difference between men and women.

  • Anonymous says:

    So tired of all these specials highlighting black people's insecurities or shortcomings…Tonight's news: black woman can't get a man…Black women don't work out…black women hate their hair…ugh! Enough already…is it news when someone cuts their hair??? These specials are doing more harm than good. Black people are just as beautifull human as everyone else…black people have the same insecurities as everyone else…all woman has insecurities… black men has been wearing their natural kinky hair long for years…the box, cornrows, fro…and there wasn't such a movement…they didn't need a reason to justify their decision or someone to blame…they did it because they liked the style…why does it have to be a social movement with the woman? Why does it have to be a victim and a hero?

    Indigo

  • Anonymous says:

    Hair is such a big issue in the black community because we are the only race of people in America that have this kind of hair. I'm not talking about people from other countries or other nationalities, I'm talking about just regular black people. We know it's true. That's why is so fascinating to other people. I worked with several white women in my department and I changed my hair a lot. They always had a billion questions. They wore their hair the same plane way all the time. I wore wigs, braids, and sometimes (rarely) my own hair. When I wore my own hair they were always surprised that I had so much of it. I'm just so tired of talking about hair all the time. I told one lady "I don't want to talk about my hair anymore".

  • Aishah says:

    What a great example she's setting for her daughter. And I applaud the journalist for bucking the system.

    @Anonymous Nov 24, 2010 6:41pm:
    The reason white people make a big deal out of our natural hair is because I would say most of them are not aware of the lengths that we go to to style our hair. And a lot of them don't know that MOST of us have nappy hair. They think most of us naturally have straight hair and the nappy heads are in the minority. I've befriended several white women over the years and they are always surprised when I explain that I sit in a chair for 8hrs to get my hair braided, or that in order to straighten my hair I have to blow dry, hot comb, AND flat iron.

    The sordid relationship that many black women have with their naps is FASCINATING. There has to be a dissertation in there somewhere. My natural hair journey began when I realized that I thought that it was my straight hair that made me beautiful (because that was all I ever got complimented on). And at that point I knew it had to go because I refuse to have my beauty wrapped up in something so tangible.

  • LuvliJ says:

    Don't know if this is the right place to share this but his story kind of hit close to home. I teach kindergarten at a school where the population is 99% African American. I decided to transition in April of this year and am 8+ months in. Last weekend I had a stylist flat iron my hair and it looks as if I got it relaxed. Almost ALL of my students complimented on how much they love my hair this way and how long it is. I usually wear it in twist outs, bantus, rod sets or low buns. Some of them have commented on those styles saying how pretty they are but not as many as when I straightened my hair! It just goes to show you how young kids age 4, 5, and six are already being conditioned. And I make sure to tell my girls, especially those who wear their natural hair unpressed how beautiful their hair is all the time.:) I need to sneak a lesson or two in about being proud to be who we are….

  • Anonymous says:

    White women spend countless dollars getting their hair colored so lets not act like woman all over spend money changing their hair in some fashion. And some spend an hour or more each day straightening their hair with a blow dryer and flat iron. I like the versatility my hair offers and I like it straight cause it is easier to do in the morning. My preference, my hair. And as to her raising in the ranks once black folks own more businesses and TV stations we can dictate on our terms. Whether we will admit it we still have to operate in their industry where they pull the strings. You can chose to wear your hair and clothes however you want but when you ask someone else for a job or promotion we have to play their game by their rules. Its not fair but its the way it is in today's society.

  • Anonymous says:

    I am happy that black women are embracing their natural hair for themselves and to set an example for our young daughters but for some reason I get this unsettling feeling about why this garners so much media attention. From Chris Rocks movie to the news reports. I can't help but feel like we are being mocked in some way. I agree that the harmful effects of relaxers and other ways of pulling our hair out needs to be put out there for women to be informed, but no one talks about our hair when it is straight. Why do people make it such as issue when we are natural. We are natural first and straight second if we choose. I am not against straitening as I do it occasionally myself, but we have to be real with ourselves. It takes major manipulation for our hair to be this way. Our hair fights so hard to not be straight. Natural should be our first pride in our beauty, then if we want to change it up that is fine too. But this emphasis on black women going natural by the mainstream media has me suspicious. What is the fascination with our hair?
    I must admit I am fascinated by mine everyday so I guess I should not blame others for their fascination too.
    I also agree with the anchor about rising in the ranks with her long flowing hair. I too get treated very differently whe nI wear my hair straight. (Ex.-more respect at work and more attention from men and everyone) I wonder if she would be where she is today is she had rocked her natural hair from the get go. So I pose the question. Must we assimilate until we get into a position where we are secure enough to wear our hair in its natural state?

  • Blakbutterfli says:

    I love that the subject of this story is a journalist – one of the most visible professions out there. The damage to some of the women's scalps in the story are heartbreaking and shocking. I didn't go natural because of damage to my hair, but on those days when I'm just frustrated with it, I now know I can never relax it again! I'm so glad the little girl in this story is appreciating her hair and how beautiful she really is.

  • Anonymous says:

    I almost shed a tear when the lady showed her her cut hair and when she said she did it for her daughter. How sweet is that. Leading by example. I loved this story

  • DrChuck24 says:

    I was just about to send this to Nikki too lol

    I loved the news report and am glad they are making it known that you can be professional AND natural 🙂

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