Gaye writes:
Hello Curlfriends,
My question is how to remain sexy while protecting your curls at night? I still want to be sexy for my honey..but uhm, I just spent hours doing my hair so I need my bonnet!! That thing is anything but cute.
So ladies, do you sacrifice the curls for some quality time?
Ladies, I just went to the salon and had about 2 inches of hair chopped off. There was breakage and my hair was dry. One of the questions I was asked, was if i wrapped my hair at night. Shame face because my answer was no. Why? Because it is not cute or sexy. I'm single and I want to tie the knot one day!! I have a satin pillowcase, but apparently that isn't enough to keep the beautiful tresses safe!!
It's look like you cover every thing in this Article. This is great and finally got something to learn after roaming around the other blogs.
This should keep me busy for a while! Thank you so much.Hope I will get some great stuff soon from you.Great work.
pretied bandanas
I have an uncle who complained because his ex wife NEVER let him see her without make up or in a scarf or any of that. He felt like she thought he was a stranger.
Thanks soooo much for your comments ladies!! I laughed, and cried — tears of laughter of course 😉 I'm a single so I go to bed with my satin scarf, though I just placed an order for a satin pillow case, haha. But lately I've been wondering how men handle our beauty routines, especially hair, and especially multi racial male POV's. There is a caucasion guy that is strongly interested in dating me, but how he will react to my hair routine is a HUGE concern of mine. Any more interacial couple experiences/comments ladies? They all seem positive so far! 🙂
I had been wondering about this for a while and its soo funny to read all the comments. My friends all know me to wear a bonnet/scarf around the house all the time, especially if I don't plan on doing anything that day. My ex-SO had saw me with my hair wrapped up before we did anything and didn't mind one bit. If its bed time, and he's over, and we–well you know–then he already knows the drill. But if its spontaneous during the day, then my hair is out already so that isn't on my mind.
My future SO is just going to have to deal with it. It shouldn't matter anyway, I mean my clothes are off. LOL.
LOL!!!! This thread is hilarious!! Love it, love the honesty and the humor. I cannot stand bonnets or scarfs (lose them after 30 mins or get so annoyed that i throw them out out bed) so silk pillowcase it is. My husband, who is black is used to my hair adventures and his standard quote is Spock's "fascinating….." with this look between disbelief and amusement. Once he said "Why are you doing all this? Your hair is already so beautiful?" I: " Because I do this." He: "Ok, well, then. -Pause- then, he again "This is…..fascinating". Perhaps I should go for some sexy extraterrestial lingerie to match his comments…..
oh, and I (Anon 12:45) must add that since he started growing locs, BOTH of us sometimes have wraps on & other times get our hairpull on… 😉
lol – get it ladies! the wrap is fine & dandy for routine sexy, but there are straight out of the shower sexy times as well as heartstrings & violins sexy times that call for it being ignored. and the hubby accepts that they all come with the package!
what's funny though is trying to inconspicuously keep the wrap on during the routine times… hehehehe
For some odd reason, my man likes the Aunt Jemima look. As long as my hair is not in twists he is happy.
Where can I find myself a supportive man like this???
Such a funny thread though! It's 5.30am here (insomnia) and I've had to bite my fist to stop myself laughing out loud and waking everybody! Hehehe!
I love everyone's comments y'all got me smiling.
My german/irish blond hubby is not into me wearing my bonnet or scarf in bed but only 'cuz we both like his hands on my hair!:D When we first dated I was a relaxer/flat iron fanatic who was always like "don't touch the hair" and my babe really encouraged me to go natural and helped me realize my wild hair can be sexy.. Us black women can really rock the bedhead lol
It may just be me but i've noticed with all the comments i read that most of the women going natural or at least those on this site sound well-read. Good job ladies!!
These are funny! I don't even worry about it yall. My man got that whooooweee! I put a pretty silk scarf on later or do I pineapple after if I'm still awake (most time I'm not). GOd, I love him. Anybody that says sex is overrated never had good sex.
I am loving all of these responses. I would have to agree with some of the other posters that it's not the scarf my husband is paying attention to. I have found out that when I straighten it, the scarf definitely has to come after the "sexy". He likes to grab it and pull…LOL. I've gained soooo much length that it's like a whole new me. And yes, he does remind me to put my scarf on. What a man!!!!
I've never laughed so much or so hard at a post or the comments that followed. You all are HILARIOUS! I'm am single and unmarried, so thank you all for giving me something to think about in the future. Honestly, I sleep kind of wild…so it does not matter what is on my head, because my style has to get redone in the morning (I was never good at the "cute sleep" when I was relaxed…so when hard curls came out…they were my nemesis. LOL
i have satin pillowcases on all of my pillows as well as satin sheets on the bed so my hair is never an issue during sexy time…the hair is protected no matter what
This is a priceless topic!! My SO is Swedish and i'm not his first black girlfriend but i get the gist that i may be the first to wear a scarf around him. I usually wear a satin scarf or bandana and he calls it my "du-rag" because i hate the way du-rags look so he finds it funny. When i put on my scarf he says it's cute and always asks questions like, "do i wear it outside or just in the house for him?"
Dh thinks the scarf is cute. I still have the satin pillow case for back up. I BC'd again and it's just at the length I can bun it but I think it's still too short to look cute in braids or twist though.
the last post should say boyfriend not boyfriends…lol..my bad
My boyfriends calls my bonnet my chef hat..lol..but he knows that the bonnet comes with me…and he's not worried about the bonnet when I get in bed anyway… 😛
This post is extremely funny. I always wondered when someone would do a blog post on this. In my case, my SO has locks and wears his bonnet religiously. The first time he stayed over, I was the one looking at him strange (lol). So, the obvious answer is that he doesn't care if my hair is in a bonnet or satin cap. On special nights though, I will definitely sacrifice my curls and he will sacrifice his locks. 🙂
I'm going to steal Anon Nov 9, 2:36. (mental note…tie to bed with hair scarf 🙂 Pineapple-ing is a great way to leave the curls out, but silk/satin pillowcases are always a plus!
My boyfriend is white and i had to educate him on the necessity and importance of a satin bonnet/satin pillowcase. Well a few months later i spent the night at his, when we went to bed i saw that he had not only bought satin pillowcases but bedsheets aswell!! my mouth literally hit the floor. He doesnt care if i rock the bonnet to bed at all but the satin pillowcase is a lifesaver during the lovin' times 🙂
I am new to this website and this thread had me rolling!! I'm a little too young for marriage and live-in bf's but this is good info to have handy b/c the bonnet is a MUST.
First I want to thank all the ladies who responded to my question. I really appreciate the feedback and I realize how right you all are. If he likes me that much it shouldn't matter.
And second I want to say that I love all of these comment responses. They have me rolling with laughter because of how much truth is being spread and I love it. Stay beautiful Ladies
~Sam~
My husband doesn't mind me coming to bed in my bonnet. There are nights when I don't put it on due to laziness or whatever. He's never made a comment about not liking it nor do I think that it hinders our nightly activities. When I do forget it he does play with my hair especially my two strand twist, I think he likes the spring action. LOL.
Everyone knows their spouses or S.O's preferences and to each his own.
All of these posts are really hilarious, and though I'm single it's still good to see how other SO/Husbands/Boyfriends react to the hair while going to bed. Right now the only man in my life is my little furman logan, and he likes to step on my silk scarf while stepping across my pillow. Yeah I know, its really time for a man but oh well…lol…lol….
When my friend stays or I stay with him, we both go to bed with scarves or something on. Ain't nothing sexy bout having that morning hair everywhere. Plus he loves my two strand twists & in his words, "I want them to stay as cute as long as possible."
I let him see what it would be like if I didn't tie it up or put a bonnet on and he realizes that it is a necessity.
I busted out the silk scarf on my sweetie on the 2nd night we spent together! I was rocking a mean sew-in that I wrapped around my head at night, so he already knew what was up. I find that most men prefer a woman who wakes up looking good, not goes to bed looking good and wakes up looking like Whodunnit?!
My guy can care less about my scarf and bonnet. He actually things its cute (I don't!). We don't live together so I sacrifice my hair from time to time, but its not a big issue. When I used to press my hair, now THAT was a problem!
LOL! Well, my husband doesn't care… as long as he's "gettin' some"! hahaha! I will say that if I make an effort to be sexy, like if I put on lingerie, I will not wear my bonnet because that just defeats the purpose in my opinion! But, if we're in bed and things just happen, my bonnet is on and he's not even paying it any mind. If my husband is paying enough attention to my bonnet that it bothers him… I need to step up my "sexy" game and turn his attention else where!
I don't do the bonnet but I do rock a silk scarf. I feel sexier with the scarf on than the bonnet. lol. Really I do! My husband thinks I look sexy with it on oddly enough. I tie it and leave the ends free. I don't do the ole school tie in the front looking like Tupac deal.
BTW my husband is a brotha of another color.
Satin Pillow bow bow problem solved!Put the bonnet on after he's sleep!Lol
My husband loves my scarves and bonnets!! LOL!!
Good mornin! Thank you all for the great responses!
My boyfriend is Mexican and he does not care at all. And, I am his first Black girlfriend. It will be different for them but they learn as they will learn about all aspects of you. I would not worry about it!
Hi Samantha,
My post was at 11:24p and my boyfriend is NOT black–go figure again! He, like your Latin friend, is used to dating black women so it wasn't so difficult. And I, myself have dated all over the rainbow, so I know what you mean. However, they have all either had a preference for black women (or were just into me regardless of race!) and with that came an acceptance that this is my hair type, so they're just gonna have to deal with it! I think that (the acceptance of certain nuiances) crosses all color lines. But, if you're dating a guy that's not really used to black women and their habits–and he's really into you (and wants to continue to see you lol!)–he's just gonna have to deal with it from time to time and really shouldn't have a problem with it. Just break him 'em in easy… He's worth it if he sticks around! 🙂
I have a question for everyone…or at least anyone who can answer it.
I date all colors of the rainbow and none of my suitors has ever seen my nightly ritual. Only a really good friend of mine who I used to date has ever seen me in my scarf. (He was Latin and kind of used to it since he dated so many black women) And he didn't mind. So my question is for anyone is dating a brother of another color how do they respond to the "granny bonnet"?
And what do you do to keep it sexy but protected as well as keeping them educated about the importance of a nightly ritual?
It's so good to hear most of you ladies say that your Honey's don't mind. Unfortunatly, my husband does. As a matter of fact he's told me on several occassions that I never look beautiful for bed. I've tried making sure I'm appropriatly dressed in something sexy, and I avoid showing him all of my beauty secrets. I've even gone without my bonnet and just slept in my twist.
Long story short, he wants to see my curls day and night. He is not a fan of the Ceily two-strand look (which ensures I will have the same curls the next day)nor the protective bonnet look.
But seeing all of these post, I'm now convenced that he is a bit unreasonable. Hopefully he will get over it.
It's funny because my boyfriend used to have cornrows when I was relaxed and he'd always ask for MY scarf! Now that I'm natural, he's got a fade and is like, "Take that thing off!" (along with everything else–go figure!) But here's the thing, I transition with a wig at times, so once I've taken the wig off and replace with a bonnet, I'm like, "Uhm, no–I'm NOT taking this thing off!" LOL!
this is a great post..ive been wondering myself what to do in these situations…great answers ladies some of you have me over here in tears…keep em comin lol
satin pillow case and bonnet at home and at boo's, he doesn't care about the bonnet…just wants my underwear off when i get in bed
LOL I have to co-sign with one of the previous posters, my fiance doesn't care about what's on my head, it ain't my hair he's focused on! LOL! Now I will admit, he hates when I sleep in conditioner or henna and have a plastic cap crinkling every time I move my head but other than that, he's on board with whatever has to be done to keep me looking fly!
I haven't gotten through all the comments yet, but I just wanted to say, excellent question! I have no honey, so I can sleep in whatever I want. However, I've always wondered when I see some of these crazy over-night treatments, thinking, "Yeesh, I wonder what their husbands think?" This should be good.
i had to post a comment before i even read the responses cuz i been thinking about this topic for months now. cant wait to read and will reply when im done!
My boyfriend doesn't seem to care about my bonnet.. or my "bonbon" which is what we both call it. LoL. When we go to bed, if he sees that my hair is still out he'll ask "where's your bonbon?"
When it's time for extracurricular activities, lol, I usually take it off or wait until after we're done to look for it.
Going to get him now sands the bonnet 😉
Be sexy with hubby first. If its just you and hubby, with no kids,hubby always come first.wait till he falls to sleep.Then go ahead and put the scary stuff on. coming from a woman whose been married 6 years in counting.love yall. stay natural
Cracking up! You all answered my questions AND made my day!
lmbo
I swear I was going to ask a very similar question!! This is a hilarious thread. I'm with the group whose SOs don't care a lick!! He doesn't play with my hair anyway and says that he's all about the smile=). So, as long as I'm wearing that, he doesn't really care what else I'm wearing=)!! If it's bed time and the sexy happens then? The bonnet or scarf is on and I sleep on my satin pillowcase. If it's impromptu during the day? Then, the hair may be sacrificed and I don't mind=). At bedtime though, when it comes off in the midst of the activities? I try to put on the bonnet or re-tie the scarf and we laugh about it. I love my sweetie because he loves me and my hair idiosyncrasies=)!! P.s. Love the comments about the husbands/SOs who remind their ladies to protect their dos=). P,s,s. I left my satin pillowcase at by boyfriend's house one time (because I take it with me when I travel;-), and he kept it to sleep on when I wasn't with him=). Now we live together, so he brought it back=). LOL!!
Great topic! Keep the responses coming, ladies…it'll help us singles when the time comes. 🙂
I have never stopped by hubby from snatching off my satin cap. Granted: it is a pain when I spend a lot of time on my hair, but if he likes rubbing and pulling my hair, I don't complain about it. I just put it back on when we're done. 🙂
Hahahahahaahahaahaah at moving the pillow with you! I love it!
The other day while we were gettin it in, I kept moving the satin pillow around with me. It was hilarious to me but I don't even think he recognized. It was during the day so my hair was out. But its super sexy to hear so many spouses reminding us about our scarves. They know the drill and love us anyway!
First time my guy slept over i pulled out my bonnet without thought. He then asked if i had another he could use (he has locks).
Hahahahahaaaa keep em coming. I like the naked with the bonnet. Hahahahahahaaa! Wait not the Ceily braids *screaming* hahahahahahaaaaaaaa
My hubby doesn't *say* that he minds it and he's still all for the intimacy when it's going down! I'm more worried about it than I think he is. Honestly, I take off my bonnet (it's so silly to ME to keep it on), I let my hair fall where it may…cotton sheets, pulled (LOL) etc…and I worry about it later! So far it's been okay!
OMG some of these replies were hilarious!! thanks beauties..lol.. But my hubby doesnt really care either..lol.
TWO THUMBS UP @ Anonymous 2:36pm Nov 9!!!!!!
haha! Love these answers! I was just thinking about asking the same question.
But my hubby does not care either. I have a satin bonnet and a satin pillow case for when the bonnet gets lost in the heat of the moment. lol
I've kept my scarf on once during S-time, and I felt weird even though my husband didn't care LOL. My normal practice is to sleep on a satin pillowcase, or tie my hair up after lovin. 😉
LOL @ Anonymous November 9, 2010 12:49 PM
"Nobody trying to get busy with Ceily braids or a head scarf/bonnet."
I use a satin head wrap- bought at CVS. It doesn't cover the entire head, just the edges. I pineapple my hair, so the curls are showing out of the top- still kinda sexy. LOL
One time, by boyfriend commented lightly, I laughed, took the wrap off, tied him to the bedpost with it and made him very happy. Afterwards, I tied my hair back up. He hasn't said anything else about my head wrap, but looks at it and smiles. I don't wear it every night! Afterall, I can't give him the full sexy all the time. I also use a satin pillowcase.
I love these responses! LOL at the Celie comments. I looked a lot like her last night, with my twists braided up for the ultimate stretched hair (made for a fantastic twist out today!). DH knows that it's just going to look funny from time to time, but he doesn't really care and neither do I. Most scarves and bonnets just don't stay on my head at night. The satin pillowcase is the best! That's all I use.
my boo loves my hair. first time a man ever told me that…so i'll just chalk it up and redo it. i feel bad putting my hair up and away, when he loves it so much. so yeah.
Haaa, this is a good question! Depending on how I wear my hair, I may go w/o the bonnet for a night. If my hair is straightened, I'll either wait until after 'sexy time' & throw my bonnet on over it, or during 'sexy time' I'll wear a scarf around my edges (can't sweat 'em out! >_<). If I'm wearing it natural, I'll keep a scarf tied around it, so in case my hair turns out wild in the end, there's still a cute girly touch. But if it's sexySEXY time, you know… The planned kind ( !! ), then I forget about all of that until afterwards. He'll even remind me about my "granny bonnet." 🙂
I love you ladies!
Sweetdrk1 a.k.a Gaye
The satin pillowcases make me hot at night. Am I the only one???
I swapped out a white bonnet for a (much more subtle) black one. That helps. I put it on, and if it's showtime I take it off and lay it on the nightstand or under the pillow. He doesn't go crazy but he does like to touch my hair. And I like it touched!
Either a satin pillow case or just take a satin scarf and spread it across the pillow. The only problem is if things get a little hectic 😉 I find myself trying to slide the scarf to wherever I am on the bed! Not sexy!! LOL.
I wear the satin bonnet and my hubby doesn't mind too much. He calls it my "smurf hat". I tried the satin pillowcase but I sleep with the covers over my head, and so my hair would be all messed up still.
It is all about the pillow case. Satin or Silk. best thing ever invented…
Heck yeah I sacrifice the hair for some SEXY SESSIONS!!! And there are always alternative positions that will not mess up your hair. Get your groove on and worry about that hair in the morning!!! And besides, what if he wants to rub his hands through your hair and you got that granny bonnet on? Something to think about…
this is too funny! Anon 1:19 has said it all. I go to bed naked WITH my bonnet on. He doesn't mind a bit. As a matter of fact, if I fall asleep without wrapping up my hair or puttin on my "grandma cap" as he calls it, he will wake me up and make me put it on. I love that about him…he takes me as I am. Now if we are being spontaneous or what not, then no bonnet!
I wear a bonnet and/or a scarf to bed every night. I preserve my sexy by going to bed naked. When you get the booty, who cares about what hair looks like??
If you are talking about "the sexy sexy" (LOL) then the scarf is not on. Afterwards I fall asleep on my satin pillowcase(which I sleep on most nights).
If you must wear a scarf or bonnet put it on afterwards.
Naturalnixon
This was becoming an issue of mine. I recently discovered that satin pillow case (What rock have I been under??). I ( and he) loves it. Packing it up and taking it to Tobago with us on thursday. Gotta keep my sexy there!!
Get a satin or silk pillow case.
My BF knows I cannot go one night without sleeping with my satin scarf or bonnett on. And I advise for him to do the same for his beautiful locks. Anyways, he has a love for a scarf in fact. The bonnett…not so much. To be honest, the scarf look is cuter. If I can find more designs with it, I'm up for that 🙂
I used to only sleep on a satin pillowcase until that was causing major breakouts. Now I just toss on the satin bonnet right before bed, and my husband knows the deal and most nights he ask me “aren’t you going to twist your hair so we can go to sleep”?
@Ms. Crystal, my husband does the same thing! At bed time, he'll remind me to wrap my hair up. He gets this very concerned look on his face when I choose to forgo the scarf for a night or two. It's really cute…lol! I usually sleep on a silk pillow when I have twists, twist out and braid outs. I only wrap it when it is styled or something.
lol @ A Different World! That's so funny. However I agree with most of you ladies. Spending hours twisting is reason enough to wrap that head up. I used to wear this scarf that was multi-colored. It looked like something straight from the carnival. I've recently changed to a black one. I think its easier to preserve the sexy when you dont have something loud on top of your head lol. I only wear the loud colored one when my more tame ones are in the wash. Satin pillow cases are also life savers =) Keep one at your SO's house as a back up to the scarf.
Nobody trying to get busy with Ceily braids or a head scarf/bonnet. thats okay for those random quicky nights/mornings LOL. She said "keep her sexy", i assume that means when she is trying to be sexy for her man. It's all good. keep your bonnet nearby or have a silk pillowcase on reserve.
I just have to comment on this…
The other night I was falling asleep and my honey poked me in the ribs: "Go put on your scarf before you pass out". I grumbled but he made me do it! I live with the scarf police!
(wyldhoney on the forums)
For my hubby I think it's fascination b/c every time I do anything to my hair he just sits there and watches. I'm a girly girl all the way but I've never hidden my "beauty secrets"…as my mama says "the only thing that takes more work than being beautiful is staying beautiful."
I'd rather wrap my hair up at night than to wake up looking like who shot John.
I wear my bonet, and my hubby is fine with it lol.
Since I am transitioning and not wrapping my hair every night, I have abandoned my wrap completely! When I was relaxing, I used to wear my wrap w/ pride! 🙂 I thought it made me look beautiful and earthy 😀 My ex-SO didn't care either.
Now, I have the adapted the satin pillow method and it's been a life saver! I love it.
loool…Nope, I don't sacrifice. The scarf goes on every night. My hubby even tells me, "Babe, go put your hair up…it's time for bed."
i'm with Kimmie… they know the deal. one guy just came out and asked me when i was going to wrap my hair for the night. he was the one that got away…
I keep it very real with my SO. I let him know..if you want me to look good tomorrow I need to go to sleep with this scarf/bonnett on. If you cant appreciate me at my worst you dont deserve me at my best. [adopted from Marilyn Monroe]
I don't think it should matter. Men aren't dumb, they know we have certain things we do to our hair & skin to be beautiful. If they have mothers, sisters, former wives/girlfriends then the are really familiar with our night rituals. And if they love us & want us to look our best in daylight hours, they don't mind a little weirdness at night.
I mean there's something to be said about keeping the mystery alive & keeping things sexy and spicy though. Men don't like it when we start off a certain way & months into the relationship start coming to bed in raggedy PJs with a "nasty" scarf on our heads lol. I put it all out there from jump w/the scarf or bonnet or pineapple. I just try to be as cute as possible with it: cute, coordinated pajamas, etc. Or put it on last minute.
I used to be one that would apply some tinted moisturizer, light liner & mascara & co-wash my hair & arrange it over my shoulder (and later the pillow) just "so" but that is tiring & fake & not good for my skin or my hair lol. So now I just let it all out. I think I went too far though b/c recently my friend came home & I was in bed w/the bonnet AND a green clay masque on lol. He was like "ooooooKAY!".
I suggest a satin pillowcase as your go-to solution, because it's best all-purpose solution. Depending on the style, you can find cute scarves to wrap your hair up. For instance, if I'm trying to preserve my wave pattern w/my puff, I will tie on a scarf that matches my pajamas (or find PJs, whether utilitarian or sexy) to match the scarves I have (yellow, red/blue, pink/orange/brown, black, black/tan). I'll be rocking twists for the next two weeks, which is a little trickier. I usually use my braid du-rag, which has a little bag at the back to hold long braids, and kind of flip it into a little skullcap type deal. I pull it all the way down onto my head so the bag is on my head like a hat, then fold the other material up into a cuff around my ears. I take the drawstring and tie it like a little band around the cap with a little bow. When all else fails, tie your hair up during the "afterglow".
I put my bonnet under my pillow. he always goes to sleep first then I slip it on my head. I'm the first to rise so it comes off before i wake him up. Whitney(A Different World) taught me that, she would get up brush teeth/wash face then hope back in bed before Dewayne Wayne woke up(i don't do all that).
Because I don't live with my boyfriend, I can sometimes sacrifice my curls for the evening. I don't do it often but it happens. Other times, my hair style will already be in twist, so I am fine. One time though I had a big meeting the next day so I was doing one of my quick styles. I do chunky two strand twist and loosely pin curl them on my head. I take it down in the morning for a fun curly look. So he's working in his office and I'm laying in his bed doing these twist…I had warned him I needed to do my hair. I'm doing this and thinking how unsexy this is and how I had ruined the romance for the rest of the night but moments later he came into the bedroom and no words were needed. Styled, Protected, or Half way done…he doesn't care! I love him for that.