A reader who recently suffered a devastating loss, left a comment yesterday that really touched me. This is an excerpt:
“…A few days after finding out about my sister, I broke down in the shower and cut off my extensions and relaxed hair. I was left with my short natural growth and have decided to try to use the growth of it as a kind of therapy.
Anyway, I came across an interview with you on the flygirls blog and noticed that you mentioned a synchronicity between hair transitions and emotional transitions. Obviously, that really spoke volumes to me and it would be great to hear more about your views on this…”
As women, we have an emotional attachment to our hair. So often when we are going through emotional changes, we make drastic changes to our hair like cutting, coloring and going natural to symbolize the change within. The reader has lost something that she loved and was attached to; and she had no control over that loss. Now that she has cut all of her relaxed hair off, she’s lost something else that she was attached to, but she chose to lose it. Symbolically, she has taken her power back, because with the loss of her sister, she feels powerless.
When going natural, we view the new growth as a new us emerging and thriving. We are constantly in a process of recreation. As the ups and downs of life mold us, we must be open hearted and open minded to the lessons they teach. It’s often painful and scary, but faith is our assurance and love is our shield. Nothing, not even death, can conquer love.
Miggy, I pray that your hair journey will be a constant reminder of your love for your sister, and an experience that constantly reveals to you the truth of who you are. Please check out and support her new blog which is a dedication to her hair journey: Hair and Healing.
The following post is from about a year ago, when I was reflecting on my life, my hair, and my personal growth. I thought it was quite appropriate to share it again today.
originally posted 11/7/2009:
My hair and I are in a very happy place. I’ve been relaxer-free for about six months, and thanks to plenty of trial and error, I’m learning what works for me. My journal to natural and beyond gives me something to feel excited about. I look forward to trying new things and I feel so much love for myself for how consistent I’ve been with my haircare regimen. So much so, that I’m looking at every aspect of my life for that same enthusiasm and persistence.
I won’t accept the status quo, and I will no longer allow myself to make excuses or sabotage myself. As you all know, I likes to liken hair to life. For me, there are too many parallels to ignore. I’ve mentioned that my whole life has been a cycle of hair growth and hair loss. My financial, professional, and personal life has been the same way. At the root of it is fear.
In the past, I’ve thought of myself as lazy, selfish, incompetent, unlucky. And perhaps I told myself these things so that I would have an excuse to not try… or to try a little and blame my flawed nature…my brokenness…for things not working out.
These thoughts still sneak into the forefront of my mind sometimes. But now I have ammunition to fight them. I decided to grow out my relaxer and have natural, thick, sayin-somethin hair. And I did it. I decided to start a blog with a friend to practice honesty and to heal. And I did it. If I wasn’t so hard on myself, I’d give myself even more credit…but I’m not there yet.
I’m on the same journey towards honesty and simplicity in every corner of my world. Some areas I’ve made progress and others I have not even begun to address yet. But the more I set goals, no matter how humble, and accomplish them, the more confidence I gain.
Three years ago, I didn’t really know why I felt so inclined to stop relaxing and try something new. Who knows – what might seem like a little idea or change, or an exploration into something you’ve never considered, could open up your life in ways beyond your imagination.
What triggered your journey???