Carmen of God Men and Money writes:
I’ve been ‘natural’ for about 18 years. Bending to societal pressure and the Florida humidity, I conceded to my first and last perm at 12. Surprise, surprise, I hated it! My thick, shoulder length hair turned into a crunchy, hot mess.
No one told me that every one’s hair texture wouldn’t respond well to a relaxer.
My hair has never really recovered from my foray into chemical land.
Moving on, I transitioned back out of perm land, even before there were great portals like yours to guide me. I mainly used the advice of one of the hair beauty consultants in a Black Hair magazine–her main point was not to use a pressing comb when growing out a perm. At around 16, the remnants of the relaxer finally grew out. Surprisingly during that period I had grown the longest hair of my life.
Now, even though I’ve been ‘natural’ my whole life–it wasn’t until this year that I started experimenting with my hair in its pure, natural state. The press & comb, flat iron, and the Doobie were my standard hair styles up until this year. If I wanted to give my hair a break, I wore my hair pulled back in a wavy bun or I wore a weave. You see, my hair always confused me–it’s wavy & it’s curly and usually dry [because I have never found the right product that wouldn’t weigh down fine, straight hair].
For some time, I’ve had a hint that maybe I had some great curls lurking beneath the dryness. This is because, post–washing, my gorgeous, wavy/curly always hair looked healthy and nice. But a short time later, that waviness turned to dry frizziness.
I decided in 2010 that I was going to learn how to do this curly head of mine. At the beginning of the year, I tried all types of products and I viewed 10s of videos trying to figure out what to do with my hair and my hair type. I grew frustrated because none of the products seemed to work and none of the hairstyles made me feel great. I would leave my house with fresh looking hair, and less than an hour later it would turn into a frizzy chaos. I would end up, always, having to pull my hair back up in a bun. The frustration made me feel like my natural hair look was unkept and I didn’t really want any parts of it.
By August, I bit the bullet and went to a salon that specializes in my hair. I wanted to learn how to love my hair without straightening it. A few friends had visited my salon of choice and they all looked amazing after the owner put his hands in their hair.
The salon experience was awesome.
Even though I wasn’t thrilled about the trim [that turned into a chop], or the hefty price I paid [300+]….I was shocked, geeked and excited about my post look.
I had finally found my curls!! I left the salon feeling pretty in my curls for the very first time, IN LIFE!
I was relieved.
I’ve only straightened my hair once since August. I’m searching for a new job, and at times I feel the urge to straighten it to look more main stream. But, I usually quell the urge because this ‘look’ is how I will be wearing my hair for a few months out of every year. So, wherever I work, they will need to get used to the versatility of this black girl’s hair.
For the first time, I am absolutely in love with my hair. I love the flexibility it gives and I feel like now I have a choice in ALL hair styles. This week I can straighten it, the next week I can twist it, and another week I could protect it with a great looking weave [oh, I love a great weave].
I believe the way we wear our hair is all a choice, and it’s all beautiful. Being ‘more’ natural has given me an even greater appreciation for all types of textures, hair styles, and even my sister-friends who adore the creamy crack π
Mastering my natural hair has given me a sense of freedom beyond belief. It’s given me more creativity to be ME–and that ME’s look can and will change everyday. How amazing!
Wow your hair looks great! I can definitely relate to how you felt about your hair before finding your curls. I have similar texture hair as yours and it can be frustrating when you envision a look and it doesn't come out that way. However, don't give up! It's a trial and error process until you find what your hair actually loves.
Thanks for the reply Carmen. I too can go through much of Hair Rules within a blink of an eye. Good luck with everything!
Hey Keemya!
And @Anon…It's on 9th Avenue around 51st street in Manhattan. I dont remember the exact addy, but I know it's on the website.
I Love your hair! I know Hair Rules is in NYC but where?
Hi Carmen! How surprised was I to see your story when I visited CN today π Looking great! Can't wait to see it in person!
Your hair looks great…I was gonna ask what exactly they did to it, but you already answered. Thanks for posting!
Your hair is pretty in all these pics but i do like the self photo with the phone the best!! Very nice curls!!! :o)
Your hair looks pretty! But PLEEEEEEASE don't spend that amount of $$ on your hair again. Lol. Having natural hair is so awesome b/c we get to learn how to do our own and save tons of money once we develop a regimen!
Loved your post and im glad your curls are bouncing now! I hope they stay that way π
@QueenKia – Yes, I use it–but not everyday. It's something I only use on 'special' occasions, lol. I'm cheap, and I can go through a bottle in a month.
Being in between jobs has gotten me comfy w/ 'moderately priced' leave in conditioners & the regular conditioner's Nikki suggests like Herbal Essence & Garnier Fructis
Yall pray for me now..lol I just did a crazy thing, I purchased online the BOGO from Curltopia.com for the Miss Jessies products in the 16oz Baby Buttercreme for $58.00 and got the same in the freebie as well. I will kick myself if this product doesn't work, but if it doesn't please be sure that I will be giving this away lol….
Wow your hair came out really good even though 300+ is alot to pay tear moment lol.lol…. I love the slant of your eyes maybe some Asian somehwere down the line. But welcome to the natural world, your hair looks really good.
Great post! I myself am natural and love to see a fellow natural girl who isn't afraid to wear a good weave! Great post! Your hair is awesome!
I went to hair Rules for my first curly hair hair-do and I loved the results as well. I highly recommend going there ladies. Carmen- do you still use their products? If so, what do you use? I'm trying to transition off in order to save a couple bucks π
Thanks!
I was washed/conditioned with their daily cleansing cream/quench conditioner. Then curly whip (I think), I sat under the dryer for about 45 mins. He finished me off with a quick whirl with the diffuser and I was done.
Beautiful curls! Kudos to you for embracing them. π ~KF519
How did the salon style your hair in the last picture? It's gorgeous!
Love post and curls. LLP~OGC
Yay Carmen! Loved your story. I can't believe I went to college with you and never knew you were natural. You're a rockstar girly! Love you hair!
Hair Rules in NYC….you'll be broke, but beautiful π
Where is this magical salon!?! love the curls!