Hair Confessions

by West of Confessions of a Blog Vixen

Remember the article Sometimes Hair is Just HAIR?….Well, meet Kevin!

Name: Kevin

Age: 25

Geographical Location: Washington, DC

Educational Background: Masters

I heard you had a status on Facebook that started a great discussion. What was that status? What was the catalyst behind it?

FB Status: Perming for “straight” hair is the number one self hatred action still going on by Black People today. It needs to stop. If you are going to relax your hair, you might as well get a nose job, slim down your thick lips and bleach your skin and get the full effect of trying to look or have Caucasian and/or Asian features.

Catalyst: I was browsing through Facebook and saw an old friend’s fb status that said: “Can someone explain to me why I can’t get a perm just b/c I’m pregnant? What, I’m supposed to walk around nappy?” Needless to say, I was upset about the social implications of her resistance to “nappiness”. I have actually felt this way for quite sometime and have had numerous conversations about it, but after reading her status I decided to address the issue on Facebook.

How important is hair to overall attractiveness? Specifically, which styles (down vs. ponytail vs. bun) and lengths?

Bottom line, I’m not interested if I’m not physically attracted to you. Preferred styles are natural styles. Dreads, ‘fros, braids, twists, etc.. You can do a lot with fro lol.. The world has told us that black women are the lowest on the beauty scale, straightening your hair only confirms that. I really like the confidence a ‘natural’ hairstyle exudes…

Do you feel there is a ‘Natural Hair Movement’ currently occurring? Why do you think so many women are going natural (i.e. Do you think most women want to make a statement or to just stop relaxing)?

There are many black women who understand that ‘being themselves’ is most attractive. Of course there are those who simply want to be trendy, but I think after their ‘big chop’ they begin to see themselves for the beautiful individuals that they are. This ‘Natural Hair Movement’ should have started a long time ago. I think there are many black women who have come to realize that a preference of straightened hair over their natural hair is a form of social oppression (Could write a dissertation…), but again, there will always be those who lack substance and are just following the crowd which is fine.

Would you support your significant other if she decided to become natural?

Is this a trick question? Of course.

Are you able to tell the difference in textures of hair? If your significant other were to go natural, would the texture of her hair affect your opinions on whether she should remain natural or not?

No it wouldn’t. To me, those with the ‘nappiest’ hair should go natural as well. I’m aware that some hair is a lot more ‘coiled’ than others but at the end of the day ‘good hair’ is a facade. If you embrace your own beauty, others will fall in line

Do you like or dislike when your significant other changes her hair style often (i.e. wigs, weaves, braids, flat ironed, wash & go)?

I appreciate new styles, although I really don’t like weaves. I also like to be able to touch her hair.

Does the amount of time your significant other spends on her hair prove to be problematic?

Not really. I understand the need to want/need to feel beautiful. I just hate when a woman lacks self confidence.

How do you feel about the amount of money your significant other spends on her hair? Is there a point where the amount of money is a source of conflict? Is it acceptable for her to spend as much as she chooses as long as she looks fly?

The amount of money is not an issue. However, I will never understand hundreds of dollars spent on weaves or wigs.

Do you think your significant other should consider your opinion when making decisions about her hair?

Most definitely. Not considering my opinion would lead to think she was trying to impress someone else.

Why do you think women care about a man’s opinion when it relates to hair?

Women say they do everything for ‘themselves’, but ultimately, we’re who they’re trying to attract, so of course they should care.

How do you view women that wear weaves? Can you tell the difference between natural hair and a weave?

I hate weaves. I haven’t been fooled in a while.

How do you feel about satin sleeping bonnets or any type of hair scarf?

Hair scarfs are cool. Gotta withhold that moisture some way.

Does it matter to you whether your significant other’s hair is relaxed or not?

Yes it matters. Relaxers reinforce the fact that black women are perceived as ‘ugly’ compared to other races. When black women are no longer concerned when we choose a woman of a different race once we (black men) ‘make it’, then it will no longer be an issue. As it stands, relaxed hair is more acceptable in most platforms than a natural hair style, which is a huge problem. The only way to fix it? Embrace your natural hair.