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Curly Nikki

Client-Stylist Relationship Building

By January 27th, 202153 Comments

Client-Stylist Relationship Building
DvaAuNaturel (Tonetta) asks:

On a recent visit to a stylist to get my hair shaped up, I questioned the type of shampoo she was planning to use to wash my hair. I told her I had brought along my own shampoo and conditioner (my beloved Yes to Cucumbers). She wasn’t interested in using my products and proceeded to tell me the brand she was going to use and what some of the ingredients were. My concern was about the use of sulfate laden products, which I do not use on my hair. I really did not know how to handle the situation and I occasionally feel at the mercy of or helpless in a stylist’s care, particularly as a natural. What is the best approach to communicating your hair needs or wishes to your stylist?

Help her out! Share your experiences below.


  • Anonymous says:

    .On one hand, you should be able to communicate to a stylist what you want and have them respect this. Sometimes you want a lighter trim or a special process. Even relaxed, i found you should tell a stylist if you don't want to be bone straight or if you need to handled more gently because of tenderheadedness. this is a part of the experience. however, at a certain point, you have to give too. bringing your own products may sound great but you never know how it will react with the other products they use. And before you say it can't be too bad: just look at old posts here and see how people have complained about products that didn't mix well with others at home. Its well known that kinky curly custard works best with the leave in from the same makers. And cantu flakes like crazy when mixed with some gels or serums…from my own personal experience :). With this all said, you got to compromise or do it your self.

    As for the food comparison: well i have gone to some restaurants that could only change so much of the dish for me. maybe the cilantro i didn't want is actually apart of the sauce or the only oil they use is peanut oil. you cant bring your own cooking oil and say "please fry my food in this because i am paying you to." just go home for all that and do it yourself!

    Now, i know some stylist will jack you up. I had to get up and leave one years ago because she was effing up my head but communication is key and having your own line drawn.
    Natural hair does not make you entitled to everything if you are not willing to do it for your self.

  • Lovnmicurls says:

    As a stylist, I have faced this situation on occasion. I know many people have experienced bad situations with stylists, but some, like myself, are all about maintaining healthy hair. I am natural and if it was up to me all my clients would be.

    As far as the products,I have sulfate and non-sulfate products that I use. If you were wearing your hair in a straight style, it is better to use a sulfate shampoo at the salon if you don't go to her on a regular basis. The flow of your hair could be somewhat compromised. If your ending result wasn't what you expected, you would be upset with your hair stylist.

    However, if you were wearing a natural style, sulfate free would be fine in most cases. I know some are frightened of sulfate but every once and a while sulfate is okay, especially because you will be likely putting oil in your hair after you wash it. I think it's important to switch. BTW Yes to Cucumbers has sulfate, just no cones and parabens (I think)

    One of my customers brought Carol's Daughter and I used it on her. It didn't clean her scalp as well as the tea tree shampoo that I have so I had to rewash her, which took more time and work.

  • Anonymous says:

    I just want to start off by saying that I have been to a couple of hairdressers over the years when I was natural and when I had a perm, One or all of them overprocessed my hair and my hair fell off in the back, I put my trust in so-called PROFESSIONALS and they let me down:) So I vowed to myself that I would NEVER give all the power to another hairdresser again! with that being said I have to say, I experienced a situation recently: I went to a ntaural stylist who specializes in dreads and natural hair, I told her over the phone that I wash my own hair, cause I am vowing not to let anyone wash my hair, cause even natural hairstylist tug and pull at my hair like a wig! I told her that I had a techinique which has given me great results and little to no breakage/hurting, she was reluctant, but she was nice about it but still said she would prefer to wash and style my hair, so she said just give her a chance. Well… it was a nightmare, I got into with her! and u wouldve thought we was coming to blows soon, she did try and remain professional, but I was done! I kept tellin myself, I am not going through this EVER again, the washing stage was a nightmare she pulled and tugged and combed my hair like it was not attached to my scalp. I do understand the liability issues that people are talking about, but it is MY HAIR! Anyway,I spoke my mind! and we are really cool with each other now, she lets me wash my hair and she just styles it, and we both are happy! but I have learned that if a dcotor, or my man or anybody else for that matter did something to me that I don't like, I will let them know that I don't like it. I have always been the one who never said anything to the hairdressers and just let them do what they want guess what-my hair fell out, so I vowed that I would never be quiet again about something that is MINE! and I am paying my money, so unless I am doing something unhealthy to my hair the hairdresser should be able to accomodate me as much as possible or I wont go! or I will go to another, and in fact I do my hair more now, and only go to the hairdresser once a month just for styling, cause it looks neater then when I do it, but trust me if I knew how to braid my hair really good, I would do it my dag onself! Also I go to the hairdresser to get my hair straight, by my long time trusted hairdresser she is the bomb!
    **STOP letting these hairdressers intimidate u! it is ur hair**

  • Anonymous says:

    hilarious comments!

  • gloria says:

    There can be liability issues for a stylist who routinely uses product that clients bring in. If by chance you leave the salon and have a reaction, you are going to believe it was caused by the stylist. He/She can not guarantee that there are no harmful bacteria or other little bugs in your product. As soon as you open a product and start using it,it is susceptible to bacteria. I had a similar situation back when I was relaxed, MY Doctor prescribed a cream to use as a base before I got my relaxer. I have very sensitive skin and this was my last resort before giving up the relaxer. I discussed the issue with my stylist before hand and she had no problem, I just left the jar in her salon. I was not worried about her using my cream on other customers because she had been my stylist for many years and there was some trust there. I think if I had been going to a new stylist I would have had the discussion over the phone when I made the appointment or doing my initial consultation.

  • Anonymous says:

    What i do is speak to them over the phone and explain what i want done so i know the prices and etc….My salon deals with natural hair but its mainly young girls getting a blow dry and press or braids. I still wouldn doubt their products because when they relaxed my hair always was nice so i guess i am fortunate to trust them. 🙂 I would not got to a new salon as i don't know what they would do.I love my salon even though i have moved and would travel there if i had to as i know them and they know what i like. I guess the key is finding a good salon and sticking to it or having frineds who are good at hair.

  • april says:

    I haven't gone to the salon to get my hair done in a while, but when I did I made sure to speak up for myself and ask for what I wanted. The last time I went to a stylist, my hair was natural and I asked for a certain hair cut. Even though the stylist was natural herself, it seemed that she just went cutting about really flippantly and my hair actually wasn't very balanced, but I was able to fix it with some product and patting.

    I told the stylist what I wanted, things just didn't turn out that great. But I paid attention to the prouducts she used and was satisfied that they were for curly, natural hair and was reassured that they wouldn't harm my hair. I wouldn't let her cut my hair ever again. I spoke to her prior to the cut and she heard me so well that she thought she was an expert in what she was doing, that she could cut my hair blind. Not the case, I felt that she didn't take the time, but I did speak up and its important to always do that.

  • Anonymous says:

    Stylists get pissed when ppl bring their own stuff. I remember when I was relaxed and at the salon, this lady came in with a "kit" and my stylist was pissed and annoyed. I can understand to a point, but if I make a special request, I should be accommodated. Ultimately, my head, my choice, my money. Someone made the analogy about taking food to a restaurant… but I would take it a step further and say that if I'm vegetarian I would not order a meat dish…

  • Anonymous says:

    You need to check and make sure your Stylist was licensed. New York Stylist are basically under the Health Dept… and that's why you have laws about the products to use… Anything used on the Public has to be accounted for. YES they can use and choose what they want.. but they have to have ALL of the PROFESSIONAL info to back it up… not just the little label on the bottle.. Spoken as someone with a License in NY… Perhaps you should get your facts straight 10:34

  • Curly Hairdo Ideas says:

    I guess I see both sides of the argument, so I just avoid it and wash my hair before I go. But then, I rarely get my hair done by someone in a salon anyway… so what do I know?! :p I will say I'm dreading the day my curly headed daughter wants to get hers done at a salon….!!! 🙁

    It's your hair, so your choice. Whether you can prepare and have the discusion with the stylist first or whether you don't and possibly have to leave mid-session – it's YOU who has to live with what they do to your head. (I'm sure people walk out of classy restaurants occasionally, too)

  • Anonymous says:

    There are not laws about using certain products in a salon they can use what you want them to. When i was in high school my stylists used the relaxed and natural line when it first came out she was constantly switching products when new things came out and tried them out on her clients so it is not a legal issue about what products they can and cannot use and i am from ny state so anon 9:57 is incorrect. And it is a service you are paying for and you should not have to use certain products if you don't want to especially if they will do more harm than good and like others have said it is a salon not a restaurant they are not at all similar. And if we are speaking about restaurants, would i get the corn side dish if i am allergic to it NO i wouldn't just like i wouldn't use a harsh sulfate shampoo if it makes my hair dry and my scalp itchy.

  • Erika says:

    I had a similar experience a few months ago and I had to blog and post about it. I went to see the hairdresser that I trusted while my hair was permed and asked for a TRIM. He ended up chopping off about 2 inches! I was so hurt that I CRIED. Yup, I cried right there in the chair. The sad thing is, I should have been able to tell him exactly what I want but I couldn't because I didn't want to make it seem like I was telling the professional what to do. What I noticed, though, is that your hair is your hair and no one knows it like you do, especially if you are natural. So, you have to "educate" them a bit and let them know how your hair works. If he or she is not willing to oblige, then find someone who does! :o)

  • Courtney says:

    I stand by my restaurant comment. I think if you go to a certain level of restaurant that asking for substitutions is a tad bit tacky. I wouldn't do that and I also wouldn't bring my own products to a hair dresser. I think Anonymous at 9:57 hit it on the head.

  • Anonymous says:

    What You ladies fail to realize is a Stylist… Especially in New York State are controlled by the State and have to follow certain rules.. IF they do not have a PROFESSIONAL chart or MSDS sheet on the product they can not use it in their shop… they could lose their license and unfortunately one client isn't worth your life's work… Not everybody is hating on Natural Hair… But any Product used in a salon is suppose to be counted for.. that's probably why the Stylist spoken about above made the client sign a wavier… As for "if you spend money your the boss" Not true.. yes your opinion should be considered… but so is the Stylist and HE/She is licensed by the State and your not… and if you are.. Do Your Own Hair… Stop whining about not getting your way.. There has to be a reason you went to a shop in the first place…

  • Anonymous says:

    Natural hair is very unique and we all spend time finding the right products for OUR hair. It may be more difficult for a stylist to have products that would work/be good for all types of naturals. That being said, it seems they should be willing to at least talk about, or experiment with, products brought in by their natural clients. Afterall, we do know our hair best.

  • Anonymous says:

    I think this is a very good question/discussion. I have never had a situation like this because I always communicate what I want up front and if they can't do it I move to the next shop. Its too many salons in my yellow pages to have to suffer through awful service. I lost my trust in stylists years ago so only went for cuts when I had a relaxer so I really don't go now that I'm natural. When I do go, I go to someone that will allow me to come in with my hair clean and just do the cut.

  • Anonymous says:

    She MUST have forgotten that YOU are paying her! I would have just gotten up out the chair and found somebody that would do my hair the way I want it. Money don't come that easy. My head. My money. MY WAY.

  • Anonymous says:

    I love the response from women stating, “if you go to a restaurant…” Let’s be honest the restaurant has health codes they have to follow (so they will not be cooking up that chicken from your purse!) second ask them if they will substitute. They may charge you extra but they will definitely give you blue cheese instead of cheddar. When if comes to hair especially Black/African American/Ethnic hair we spend more money then anybody. So just based on money (they don’t have to use their product, if you like the do you will be back and tell your friends) they should at least talk to you about using your product.

    I always bring my own butter (Miss Jessie) when I get my hair done. I let the stylist know that my hair likes the product and my style last longer. I have NO problem signing anything that says I want to use my product! I do that’s why I brought it! I also have NO problem getting my butt up out the seat and leaving the salon. I have done it more then once and have had stylist and/or managers saying, “wait a minute let’s talk.” Not every time but enough to know that if you don’t do it like I want, someone else will. Think of it this way if a stylist said. “I don’t like you hair natural I’m gonna put some chemical in it.” Would you stay seated? If the stylist does what she wants and you sit quietly and take it then don’t complain that your hair fell out, you scalp got itchy, or that 2 days later you had to redo your hair because the braids were too tight. But if you got money to waste like that please contact me ASAP. I can take your money pay my bills and plan for that 1st class Italian vacation I want to take! Remember that you want to use certain products for a reason, whatever it may be, the beautician’s jobs it to make you look beautiful and keep you coming back. Anyway from some of the colors and styles I’ve seen on the streets some stylist could care less what you want done to your hair as long as the CASH is GREEN!!

  • DvaAuNaturel says:

    This is all such great advice. Thanks ladies so much for weighing in. Luckily, I was referred to this stylist from a friend so it wasn't a tenuous situation. I actually shared a lot of the things I've learned from with her and she loved it. I would have just preferred to use my own stuff but as many of you mentioned some stylist may be leary because of product unfamiliarity or liability for anything that might happen. I'll know next time, if I ever have to find another stylist, to have a brief consult to discuss preferred products and wishes for my hair. If they resist, then I'll use the skin/hair allergy excuse ;-D.

  • Anonymous says:

    For the most part, I gave up on going to a stylist to get my hair done years ago. I had a wonderful stylist in D.C. over 13 yrs ago, but can count on one hand the no. of times I've been since then. As a result, my hair actually looks better than it ever has.

    My reasons:

    1) Toxic attitudes
    2) Terrible wait times
    3) Lack of knowledge about natural black hair and scalp health (even at some of the best black hair salons in the country)
    4) Amount of money spent for the results you get.
    5) Tired of being dependent on someone for something as basic as hair care needs. (Don't have to freak out looking for someone when I move to a new city or go out of the country)

    I've saved a lot of money and gained peace of mind and a very healthy head of hair as a result.
    But if you do decide to go, I would definitely try and speak with someone at the salon before you get there to hash out details of what you and the stylist expect from each other. This may be tough because the stylist does not get paid for chatting with potential clients, so her time is precious. Good luck!!

  • Lanisha says:

    I agree with the poster who said to claim skin sensitivity/allergy and say that you'll need medical attention if you use anything else. Remember, you ALREADY tried to talk with her about using your products and SHE SAID NO. It's crystal clear. If she seems unwilling to budge even after claiming allergic reaction, let her know in a very polite and pleasant way (smile) that you're more than happy to come to the salon already washed, conditioned, and detangled. If she STILL says no, then you should go somewhere else. Think about it, what if you allow her to put a sulfate shampoo on your hair and think it will be okay as long as you get a really good deep condition under the dryer afterward, and after 10 minutes she tells you it's time to rinse the conditioner out? What will you do then, knowing full well that 10 minutes is not long enough and that your hair will feel dry and stripped and probably break if you don't condition longer? Will you REFUSE to get up and continue sitting under the dryer? And what if after that she says her next client just showed up and now she has to start on their hair before she can begin cutting yours, and she doesn't know how long it will take? Imagine how awkward THAT would be. It's not as if you're asking her to produce curl friendly, organic products out of thin air. You're bringing them to her and asking her to put them on your head. So really, this isn't the same as going to a restaurant and asking for a billion substitutions, unless there are people who bring the entire kitchen pantry from home for those requested substitutions. You said you occasionally feel at the mercy of stylists in the salon. That says a lot. It is okay to say NO. It is okay to ask for what you really want. And it's also okay for the stylist to say no to that. And if he or she does, it's okay for you to kindly thank them for taking the time to do their hair, and let them know you think it would be best for the both of you if you left and came back when you felt more comfortable.

  • Anonymous says:

    omg I have the same problem. My stylist is always like :'this is whats good for your hair' and proceeds to shampoo, cut, or whatever, despite my protests/against my views. I just get tired of arguing, and when I get home re-style my hair the way I want. Sigh. I live in UK, in a town where we do not have many good black hair stylists. And this guy knows it, so he has the freedom to act like a diva and unfortunately customers still come back (we have nowhere else to go!!) I just stopped going. Learned to do my own hair. *Proud of me* I straighten my own hair, trim my own hair, style, deep condition , everything. :-)))) But for the days when I just feel like getting my hair did…I just grit my teeth and let him do whatever. All the while saying in my head *my hair better revert back, my hair better revert back, any damage and amma kill this idiot* So far, no permanent damage, but I'm always on the lookout for a better hair stylist. Peeps in Cardiff, I'm talking about Simon from Lazarou.

  • Ruby Danielle says:

    Wash and condition before you go…

  • Jeannette says:

    @Melanie…I was waiting for a stylists' point of view! LOL LOL I know what you mean, yes, there are good stylists out there who are willing to try new things are yes, communication is key. I'm fortunate that I have one stylist that only specializes in natural hair care and the other who does weaves, relaxers etc. but is open and willing to try new products and style natural hair care as he had dreads. The fact you mentioned that there are certain products that aren't allowed to be used in salons really helps and if stylists explain this (if they can) it enables customers to understand why the stylist said no to our product. Also, it makes us realize that if we call and ask about our product before stepping foot in the door of the Salon is a great way to go.

  • Melodee says:

    I think that you have to have an established relationship with your stylist. I have been very lucky and I have been going to the same stylist since I was 15! (I'll be 42 this year) My stylist wears her hair natural and she did my BC over a year and a half ago and she was excited about me going natural. She is the ONLY person that I trust with a pair of scissors (when she stops doing hair I will probably have a break down lol)

    When I go to get my ends trimmed every four months she uses one brand of specific products that she specifically purchased for her natural clients, and it doesn't bother me one bit…. I'm there to get my ends trimmed bottom line so if she uses something that I don't normally use then that's ok with me because I trust her as my stylist.

  • Melanie says:

    As a stylist, I've been put into this situation before. Depending on HOW and WHAT you say to your stylist will determine the reaction. Yes you are a paying a client and I respect that but please respect my position as to whether or not I'm able to use another product in the salon. Not all black stylist are out to mess up your hair. I like to consider myself to be one of the few who try to really talk and be open with my guest. Just like when you have a doctors appointment, you tell him what you have been experencing and what not. However, by working TOGETHER and giving suggestions things work out. This was a great topic!

  • Jeannette says:

    Okay, I gotta admit, I haven't been to a stylist since I've been relaxed and know a stylist who specializes in natural hair care. Although she has a product she uses, if I want to use my own products she highly suggests using a hydrating shampoo. With that said, I will not cave to the mercy of someone putting something in my hair that I don't want. I'd rather walk out the door and go somewhere else than to stay there. But working it out with the stylist is always the first choice. I say just tell the stylist that you only use certain products in your hair and sulfate laden is not one of them.

  • Anonymous says:

    I agree that as naturals we should probably just do our own hair majority of the time BUT there are some things that we cannot do on our own. I believe the young lady that is posing this question was going to the salon for a PROFESSIONAL shape up. After learning her hair why would she possibly ruin her progress by allowing a stylest to use products that may be harmful to her hair? I would recommend speaking to the stylest before hand to ask if bringing your own products would be an issue. Find a stylist that has no problem with using your products and then go to their establishment for service. Honestly how will more beauticians become familiar with natural hair and products if we don't aquaint the two? =/ Staying home and doing our own hair at all times will not give stylists any more or less knowledge or experience than what they already have….


  • Anonymous says:

    Your hair stylist should respect your wishes when it comes to your hair unless you are asking for something that is not flattering or good for your hair. And if you are bringing your own product then they should use it. If you are coming upon a stylist who can't do that then it may be time to find one that will. And yes be open but don't lie. Just tell them flat out this is the product that works best for MY hair. And if that doesn't work. Then do what I have seen some ladies do. They wash their own hair at home and come in wet so the stylist can trim and style. And they use the clients products to style.

  • D_luv says:

    Both sides of this disagreement have a point. It's not as simple as "my products, your hands" ladies — products also require knowledge and technique to apply, even before you style. That being said, stylists can be very ignorant about hair care and "sold out" to product lines for no other reason than reputation and/or financial agreements.

    Your best bet is either a whole lot of talking before you even sit in the chair (that you must be willing to do over and over again until you find the right stylist) OR cutting your loses before you start and doing your hair at home. Hell, by the time you bring the products, explain your lists of dos and don'ts for cutting, detangling, brushing, combing, and heat styling, you might as well have jammed your hand up the stylists bum, because they are little more than a hand puppet. Even with you paying big bucks, it's not worth anyone's time or money.

  • Shalonda says:

    To solve this problem have this talk BEFORE you make an appointment. If you need to sign something then do so. Having a consultation prior to going is the best thing a natural can do. This will give you the chance to either proceed or decide to go elsewhere.

  • Anonymous says:

    @ Anonymous 4:31 – A salon is not cheap. Why spend my money and not get what I have requested? Would you like to take your car into a shop for a paint job and come out with only a wash? Why hell no. And the fact that someone has money does not mean they get what they want, but it should mean they get what they pay for.

  • Anonymous says:

    Anon 4:07PM put it best: The stylist should have a discussion with you. She should explain why she wants to use her own products and you should also explain why you prefer using your own. Pushing a product on a client because of an agreement the salon has with a company makes no sense. Most salon brands cost more anyway with the exception of a few. You should be able to maintain your style at home using a product of your choice.

    On signing an affidavit, that should be stated upfront either on the salon website, on the phone or in person when you inquire about their services just to avoid awkward situations.

    If a stylist wants to act like a dictator find another one, it's her loss!

  • Anonymous says:

    I don't agree with the idea of letting a stylist use whatever she wants on my hair. When I go to a salon, I am paying for services — shampoo, condition, style. It should not matter what products I ask her to complete these services with. If I am supplying the product myself, I am also saving her money. After all, her set price is for the work as well as the product.

  • Anonymous says:

    The spirit im picking up is one of "what i want
    or else".I mean jus beacuae you have money doesn not mean you can have your way all the time!

    I understand hair is important but it is important to be realistic and if you can't then do your own hair or someone you trust and doesn't mind meeting you half way. A good stylist doesn't always grant your wishes beacuse they see the long term effect and will offer an alternative and leave the choice with you.

    Stylists need a bit of a break as they are only doing their job. Good communication is needed and builds up over time.When naturals becomes more widespread then they will have to meet that need and training will come. Then they will help us with our journeys until then we have to cut them some slack.

  • Anonymous says:

    I consult with in person and/or via telephone to find out about the products a salon/stylist might use on my hair. I don't sit in the chair before I am comfortable in every aspect on the upcoming visit.

  • Anonymous says:

    I think that something that most of the people on here have forgotten is the fact that most BLACK stylist do not stay up on natural hair care. Depending on the area, the only thing that can be available to you is a regular salon who generally deal with relaxed people. The closest they come to working with natural hair is braiding, or right before the relaxer goes into the hair. Granted it is a matter of personal preference to how you want to spend your money. I feel that if I am trusting you to do my hair and I know that you use items that I don't I should be able to request that either you a) use the products that I brought with me or b) have alternatives that can be used that I would approve of. In my humble opinion, NO stylist should take offense to a person bringing in their own products. I agree with the stylist from Anon 3:39pm, having you as the customer sign something saying that they are not responsible if it does not come out the same if they were using a product that they had experience with, BUT the important part is that they not shy away from experimenting and discovering new products. My cousin is a cosmetologist, she doesn't work in a shop anymore because of that issue. Many salons have mandates or agreements with companies with only their products be used. My cousin felt that it was best to get experience with working with everyday products that her clients were more likely to use at home. It not only keeps your skills sharp, but also builds a relationship with the client. Think about it, you are more than likely to tell people to go see that stylist if they went out of their way to make you happy. That is customer service. If a stylist was about her business and making money, she should (and not necessarily in this order)1) stay current on products and trends 2) maintain her hair education and stay up on how to maintain and style ALL textures and types of hair 3) cover her ass by having you sign something if the style does not come out the way you wanted given the products used and her personal technique 4) be open to trying new products and techniques 5) make the styling session a memorable one, if you love your hair you will be the first one on a mountain top singing her praises which = $$$$$$$ and lastly 6) remember that the customer is always right, even if they are ignorant. She should be able to dialogue with you the differences between using products that she uses and your products, and go over options. She should be able to educate and if you still opt for what YOU know then hey she did her job. But in no way, in my opinion should you let her give you a service that you do not like. That is like going to a mechanic to get an oil change and they decide to rotate your tires instead and charge you for it, even though you didn't need or want it. If they (the stylist) cannot handle that…..DEUCES!!!!

  • Anonymous says:

    Tee: I really don't see what the big deal is with bringing your own products. Frankly when I had a perm 95% of customers brought their own shampoo and condish to the doobie spots. My only concern is that many stylist these days have a "F" Grade with a cosmotology license. (reminds me of a public defender in court) The sad part is there are many stylist that are jealous of their clients hair and do not respect them. I believe this goes back to good customer service and proper education. The stylist should want the client to be happy and vice versa. Research, Research, Research..
    FYI: Oh and my stylist is going to be giving seminars on hair etiquette because of this topic and other issues.

  • Anonymous says:

    I believe if you go to a stylist then they will use they products.It's like going into a restaurant and bringing your own food. LOL being a transitioner does make you more aware so you wil want only the best products for your mane but i guess it boils down to trusting your stylist and having a good relationship.

  • Anonymous says:

    I always wash and detangle my hair before going to the stylist, and he always tries to get me in the chair to wash my hair. NO WAY!!!

  • b. says:

    "What could it hurt her?"

    The stylist may be allergic to what you bring. (Not likely but a possibility.)

    There's also the fact that someone could bring something that they *know* will cause a bad reaction and then the person will blame the stylist. I say this b/c there are some crazy people, like the ones who intentionally cause accidents or put rodents in food and try to blame the other person. It's called liability.

    On the whole, if you're going to the stylist you usually see, and you offer a new product, she should adhere to your wishes. After all, she knows you and you want what's best for your hair. Otherwise, she can tell you why she thinks her product is better and let you make up your own mind.

  • Anonymous says:

    i was in a salon in NYC and a woman brought her own products. the stylist made her sign an affidavit saying she wasn't responsible for the outcome of her hair or any after effect since she wasn't using the salon brands. (trust me ladies it was an awkward moment squared. lol) i get why ppl bring their own products, but at the same time the stylist can't be expected to endorse or stand behind something they don't usually use. especially if you are bringing only a shampoo and conditioner, yet your style requires serums, hairsprays, etc to get the end result. you (and most importantly the stylist) don't know how it will all interact together.

    so i say all of that to say i'm in the middle on this topic.

  • Anonymous says:

    I agree with many others. This is a respect thing. What can it hurt HER to use the products you requested and clearly have already purchased for your hair?? I don't feel that you should have to validate your choice since you are paying her. Just let her know. She can either get with it or get lost.

  • MissPriss7 says:

    i believe if you are paying then yes u are in charge! i recently went to a new hairdresser and when she found that I was natural…she offered and wanted to give me a texturizer and I said BOOP No) [well in my mind]…I politely said no i love my natural locks!

  • Anonymous says:

    I believe the one paying for the service gets the right to get what they want. If the shop does not use products that work best for you AND they are not willing to use ones you bring then it might be time for a change. Its not like you asked her to go out and buy new product…you brought your own! If the stylist cannot respect that then find one that can. I dont believe in making up stories about allergic reactions or anything else. Just say what you want and either than can provide it or not.

  • Courtney says:

    I think I disagree with the majority here. I think if you choose to go to a stylist you should expect them to use their own products. They are used to working with products they have faith in. I just think that is what you sign on for, so if the stylist uses products you don't want I wouldn't go there. I sort of think it is similar to ordering off a menu and wanting to substitute everything in a composed dish.

  • Kimmy says:

    If you're a paying customer, then you're the boss. Plain and simple….. Either respect my request, or you're fired!!

  • Anonymous says:

    If you are going to a stylist "on the fly", meaning she is not your regular stylist (i.e out of town, etc), I woulld take your products and to avoid having to explain/offend, just tell her that you are highly allergic to everything and your head may swell up and require emergent medical care. lol
    That should work, without the headaches!! Good luck!

  • Anonymous says:

    I have had to deal stylists like thisand at first it can be difficult. I use to find stylists who were AMAZing when it came to styling hair but left much to be desired when it came to actual hair care which becaomes so much more necessary when dealing with natural hair. You have to be the FIRST advocate for your hair. Before letting anyone touch my hair, I first go over my concerns and let them know my hair goals and expectations. Some stylists will yes you to death all while planning to do their own thing to destroy your hair but the really good ones I have encountered will not only listen to me but actually be able to have a conversation with me about why they may agree or disagree with what I want as well as how realistic my expectations are.One stylist went so far as to let me know, "Okay if you don't want me to use this type of product in your hair, keep in mind that the style you want may not come out the way you expect it to, or it will require more heat orsomething else…etc" I appreciated her feedback in letting me know my limitations with certains styles but she also gave me other options which was helpful because I learned a few things about my hair that I didnt know before. Ultimately, I would say make your suggestions and let your stylist know your concerns with certain products and see if they make recommendation and keep an open mind to not compromise what you want for your hair but definitely be open to listen to what your stylist may suggest based on your concerns. If your stylist leaves no room for open dialogue with you about your hair, head for the door! Take Care!

  • luvmylocs says:

    this is a respect issue. if the person doesn't respect you and your wishes you could find another stylist that does. similiarly, they may be concerned about using products on you that they are not familiar with. they could be worried about how your hair will respond. that being said, you might want to learn how to do more of your styling yourself. it's kind of awkward to go to a stylist with your own products, telling them what you do and don't want them to do to your hair every step of the way, etc. we wouldn't go to a resturaunt with our own ingredients and tell the cooks step by step how to cook our meal, we'd just cook at home. i'm not saying you were wrong for wanting her to use your products, i'm just proposing an alternative way to look at things. in the 10+ years i've been natural i've learned you really are better off learning to take care of your own hair, for better or worse.

  • AishaSaidIt says:

    Good question. Unfortunately I have lost all faith in hairstylist. I know there are some good ones out there, I just don’t know where. But if he/she is not doing what you asked then compromise with “I’ll come here washed before hand” (if you really want/like the style he/she does ) or simply leave the chair.

  • Anonymous says:

    I just tell them I really like this product or tell them that I have a condition and that my dermatologist recommended this product.

  • Anonymous says:

    I consider myself fortunate because my long-time hairstylist actually gets excited when I bring in new products for us to try. She's completely open and confident in her cosmetology knowledge not to let my random product selections intimidate her.

    My suggestion would be to communicate openly – after all these are you dollars that you're spending. Explain to her the reason you'd like to use your preferred products, and if she's not willing to bend, then it might be worth spending your money elsewhere. Would you continue to eat at the same restaurant if you continually received sub-par meals, even if the server was super nice when he brought out a cold bowl of soup. Probably not

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