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Curly Nikki

Curly Police!

By January 27th, 202157 Comments

Curly Police!
Afrikan Latina from the CN Forum writes:

If the Curly police were strolling through your neighborhood/campus what would you be cited/arrested for?

Here’s my scenario:

(driving down my street and I see the Curly Police lights flashing behind me, I pull over, and the CP approaches, I roll down my window)

CP: Ma’am do you know why I pulled you over?

AL: No ma’am

CP: I patrol this neighborhood often and this is the third week in a row that I’ve seen you wearing that Tam!!

AL: [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] My fro is going through a lot right now and its just easier this way officer.

CP: No excuses ma’am. Have you ever heard of Curlynikki.com?

AL: Yes ma’am…I’m on her site everyday.

CP: (Shakes head) Ma’am I need your curly license and registration.

AL: (hands it over without arguing)

CP: Okay I see you’ve only been 100% curly since February of last year so I’m going to let you off with a warning on this one, but if I come through here again next week and see you with that same tam on, I won’t be so nice.

AL: Thank you ma’am…I understand.

CP: Have a nice day ma’am.

So yeah, I’ve been wearing tams for the past few weeks 1)because I’ve been lazy, and 2) I’m shedding.

What would the curly police arrest you for?

57 Comments

  • Anonymous says:

    I'd be arrested for wearing my fave alumni cap 🙁 WInter has been rough this year.. no job.. hair dry beyond dry with no solution in sight. I twist it, wrap it, and rock my cap religiously. Protective style coming soon.

  • Unknown says:

    I would be arrested for using black beeswax to get my twists done :(..(hey what can i say..it looks fresh and darker for longer periods than ORS lock and twist gel)

  • Anonymous says:

    I for sure would be arrested for wearing my hair straight (them Chi's flat irons are the bomb though and killing my hair) and not wrapping it up at night, mositurizing it,not even pulling a comb thru it!! Lawd…they gonna give me life!

  • Perkisha says:

    I would be arrested for disobeying the curly law of rinsing with cold water when I'm washing out my condish. LOL, I can't stand the feeling of cold water on my scalp, so at most I might do a lukewarm rinse, but usually it's the same warm/hot water that I like to shower in 🙂

  • Laura says:

    The Abused Curly State Pen here I come..

    Judge: You are charged with curly assault for putting your hair in those claw-like hair clips. I see you twist it up and put the claw clip in at the back of your head and let the hair poof out the top like tail feathers.

    Your Honor, I wore this when I was straight. Now that I am in my 6th month of transitioning, it's very easy to keep from over-manipulating my hair with this routine.

    Judge: Yes, but we have evidence that shows that some days it's a curly poof and other days it's just a frizzy curly/relaxed mess.

    Please Your Honor, I don't have a neck when I wear my hair down.

    Judge: Well, maybe a few days of incarceration with some natural hair style books should do the trick.

    Your Honor, I plead with the court for mercy.

    Judge: I'll give you a hint, today's fro-hawk video on CN might get you a reduced sentence.

    Bless you Your Honor, I am forever grateful to Curly Nikki and her community of fabulous curlies!

  • KeepItMovingDotCom says:

    Definitely for not wearing a bonnet to bed and using a shampoo with sulfates even though it makes my scalp dry!!

  • Lisa says:

    I would be arrested for wearing wash-n-gos for 2-3 days knowing they're not lasting past 1 day, and dry hair which is leading to breakage. SMH

  • Anonymous says:

    This is hilarious! I'm a fugitive right now. If caught, I'm going down for going too long without cowashing and skimping on my DCs. My defense will be that I got my hair flat ironed for NYE and am trying to make it last and that I haven't found the right DC and have run out of honey. Pretty weak, but it's the truth and nothing but…

  • RaeShouna says:

    I would be arrested for not wearing a bonnet or scarf to bed. I would get a warning since my hair does better without one(it gets fuzzy faster with a scarf on for some reason) and I sleep on a satin pillow(sometimes) lol

  • Anonymous says:

    I was locked up for not trimming or hennaing and barely deep conditioning whilst blow drying every chance I got since August (last semester really kicked my butt) but now I'm out on parole on the terms that I do regular hennas and DC'ings as well as I had to get a trim to be released lol

  • Leo the Yardie Chick says:

    @ Jessica – Try 5 weeks. T_T

  • Jessica says:

    wearing twists for longer than 2 weeks! my hair is looking jacked! LOL

  • Anonymous says:

    For having extra dry hair and doing puffs 99 percent of the time. I have been so LAZY when it comes to my hair.. and im on vacation i just throw a bonnet or scarf on at night. And i only take it off if I leave the house or i want to wash/condition my hair. The police would send me straight to jail life in prison without parole! lol

  • lisa says:

    Oooh the Curly police would get me good for failure to deep condition over a three month period ( head down) and the judge would probably throw the book at me for all the swinging and shaking I did of my curls on New Year's Eve. It took me so long to detangle last night I had to get out the shower, sit down for a few minutes and whip up an oil conditioner mix, in the hopes that a deep condition might help. Even my cat was looking at me like I was just pitiful. lol. No summons here. Straight to the clink I go. lol.

  • Anonymous says:

    multiple charges, too long without a professional trim (really a shame granddaughter is a hairstylist and grandson is a barber!), about an inch and a half of old dry color on the ends front and sides of my head, and an extreme case of hand in hair

  • Anonymous says:

    I'd be cited for an OHH.

    (That's an Orange Henna Hairline, y'all)

    I have been too tired to follow up with my indigo on my gray hairline… My daughter says, "Mommee – you need to do something about that, f'real-f'real"

  • Anonymous says:

    I love this post, too funny! The po-po would take me straight to central (curly) booking for a professional trim….and for turning my cupholder into a hair clip holder.

  • Tiffany says:

    I have a grey tam, a black and white one, a grey pink and blue one, a cream one and a blue one. At least I am changing them up.

    Peace, Love and Chocolate
    Tiffany

  • Anonymous says:

    Ohhhh…I would be arrested for serious Hand in hair disorder!

  • DrChuck24 says:

    They would have arrested me for the same thing. I love beanies and beanies love me 😀 All shapes, colors, and sizes….*dreamy eyed*

  • Anonymous says:

    They could arrest me for having no curls at all and not being obsessed with finding some to Eco Style, Kinky Curly or shingle to death. My soul doesn't glo so what!

  • honeybrown1976 says:

    Wearing my hair in a bun or in a beret. I'm transitioning, though, so I have two textures on my head.

    Could the officer let me off with a warning?

  • Anonymous says:

    I would be arrested for NOT washing my hair in 6 weeks and left in 30 plaits, CP would say go straight to jail and do NOT collect your $200.00, I been working 12-16hr for the last 6 weeks with only some what of a sunday off

  • Anonymous says:

    I would definitely get arrested for over-manipulation and product junky-ism (is that even a word?). I have been natural for most of my life and have been in like with my hair, but am now really appreciating what my hair can do. That coupled with being on leave, discovering the wonders of the natural message boards and YouTube videos have resulted in me trying out new products and hairstyles on a daily (okay many sometimes it's more frequent than that) basis.

    Surprisingly, my hair is behaving the best that it has in recent memory, but I definitely have to move past this infatuation stage before I do some serious damage.

    Finally out of lurker status but sheepishly yours,
    DeeMaddie

  • The Chocolate Loveliness That Is Fraña says:

    @ Leo the Yardie Chick, thank you!
    Lol, I am still learning terms and I was really feeling left out. I honestly don't know what I would get pulled over for cause I am new to this… I need CG friends in AZ!

  • Channing says:

    At this moment I'd be aressted for flat ironing my hair and not touching it since [i'm not even gon tell ya'll how long its been] haven't moisturized, washed it, no wrapping at night no NOTHING…thank the lord for buns!!

    before that it would've been for holdin onto these raggedy ends [the reason i straightened in the first place] because they were gettin stupid ridiculous

    and lastly I have horrific HIH [hand in hair] disease even as I'm typing this one hand is creeping in my head, one minute i'm sittin around minding my own then BAM!

  • Anonymous says:

    I LOVE this scenario! Especially since I have my degree in Criminal Justice! I would be arrested for going outside with my SATIN BONNET on! AND by on I mean: (1)Grocery Store;(2) Library;(3)Gas Station etc……. I should have been arrested weeks ago! for indecent exposure! lol, because I never see any other "curly" outside like ME! Hilarious!

  • curlya says:

    Habitual offender of frizz! And no protective styling. But, I might get off with a warning since I have a growing TWA (wink)

  • metrocntry girl says:

    Very cute post. I'm more likely to be arrested for leaving my 10 y.o. daughter's hair in fuzzy twists for 3 weeks between washes when I'd never go that long with my own hair. She just has so much of it and complains through the whole process, from washing to twisting. I know, I need to do better by her.

  • Unknown says:

    I would be arrested to leaving the house with dry hair and a headband…..And the beanies!

  • Anonymous says:

    LMBO @ MelMelBee !!!!

    I love this post! I would get arrested for DWD, Driving While Dry! I called myself doing a super cute coil out but I separated the coils so fast now it looks like a dry mess. I've been so lazy with work and everything else, I've just been spritzing with water in the a.m. . I have fell off of the bandwagon, hopefully I'll get back on today since I've read this post! Good One!

  • MelMelBee says:

    LOL! This is hilarious!!!!

    The cop would pull me over for sparks flying from the bottom of my car! He'd say "Ma'am, please step out of the vehicle and pop your trunk".

    I'd be arrested for intent to sell/distribute, possession, and being over the legal limit from…..

    ALL THE HAIR PRODUCTS THAT ARE IN MY DARN TRUNK!

    I'd so be going to jail! Hopefully, the judge would have mercy on my addictive behavior and send me to PJA (Product Junkie Anonymous) 🙂

  • Anonymous says:

    For not letting my weekly protective styles last longer than 2 days. LOL….Hopefully sent to rehab for my hand in hair syndrome.

  • Anonymous says:

    Not getting all the right hair products. I'm so afraid of becoming a product junkie that I have held off getting products. LOL! I know it's funny but I have gone a shopping spree for earrings and headbands. Also a ticket for not chopping my relaxed hair off even though I really want to. Why? My husband loves the length. An I kinda owe him I chopped my hair so many times he never gets to enjoy my new style(military so he's gone alot) he leaves I look one way comes back i look another so I promised him I would keep it one way until he comes home. But I want to chop sooooooo bad. LOL!

  • Naptural_ray1 says:

    I would be arrested for not leaving my protective styles in as long as i should

  • Anonymous says:

    I would get a warning for changing my hairstyle every other day and a full out ticket for changing my hair so often and it still not looking worth a damn.

  • Anonymous says:

    I would get arrested for getting bobby pins "lost" in my hair and leaving them there. LOL I have been SOOO busy this week, and since the military has such strict regulations on how I can wear it, so I keep it pinned up in a really snug bun and I throw a head band on in the mornings and RUN. It takes me through my 12 hour days like a champ. PT, I work outside in the cold, then off to classes in the evenings. I am just too tired to spend time on my hair after all of that. Ok, REALLY!! There are no excuses, I am just lazy as hell. I am GOING to jail! LOL

  • Leo the Yardie Chick says:

    @ Chocolate Lovliness – A tam is a form of hat, usually knitted.

    As for me, I'd be booked for not washing/moisturizing my hair often enough this winter. I have a good excuse – we're having water restrictions!

  • Mrs. Dee says:

    Cuff me because I'm guilty as charged!
    I've been wearing crochet hats in all colors for the past week and a half.

  • Arti says:

    I would get arrested for going out with wet hair every moring for sure! I just cannot get a wash & go to last more than one day : (

  • Anonymous says:

    I would be arrested for having noticeable white balls sans flakes that look like dandruff… I'm trying different products and some products don't play well with others.

  • Unknown says:

    Love this post! And I love Anon 2:12's response. I might get probation since I JUST cowashed my hair this morning. I had more shedding than usual b/c I was a little laxed on moisturizing this week.

  • Anonymous says:

    I wouldn't be arrested. The officer would see that my extra dry hair needs rehab and recovery, not incarceration, and she would send me to DHA (Dry Hair Anonymous).

  • Tianna E. says:

    I would be arrested for constantly playing in my hair and yanking single strand knots and lose hairs out of my head (sans scissors).

  • sarah says:

    i would get out for good behavior after weeks of being lazy with my hair. i gave it a good soak with some coconut cream and yogurt last night, so i think i've made bail 😉

    BTW, cutest post ever (next to pictures of baby Gia, of course)!

  • Anonymous says:

    The Chocolate Loveliness That Is Fraña said…
    What the heck is TAM? That term is new to me…

    It's a Scottish beret.

  • Anonymous says:

    This is too funny!!!
    Ok the Po-Po would get me for digging pencils in my hair to scratch my scalp, for spraying my hair AT my desk (I only did that twice, a little too ghetto) and of course taking pictures of Sheila (my hair) once again AT my desk. Got to do better!!!

  • Anonymous says:

    fun post! very creative!!!
    I would be arrested and charged with fraud…yes i admit it. Winter has not been my best friend so i've kept my hair in braids to avoid breakage and time consuming routines

  • The Chocolate Loveliness That Is Fraña says:

    What the heck is TAM? That term is new to me…

  • TiAnna Mae says:

    cute cute! I'd be jailed for leaving the house with wet hair in the dry cold Chicago winter and not having my ends trimmed. SMH!

  • Anonymous says:

    Wearing a constant bun. It's easy and has become a total habit. My hair is in great shape, but I just do not like wearing it out and having to woryy about what it will look like later. Unless I get in a strong windstorm (tornado or hurricane), I don thave to worry with a bun. LOL

  • Keyz says:

    I would be pulled over for not deep conditioning in 3 weeks!!!

  • Anonymous says:

    very creative post. i would be arrested for covering my hair for too many days straight without moisturizing.

  • Anonymous says:

    I must first say that Afrikan Latina's scenario was hilarious to me. However, she is not alone. I would probably be thrown in the "clink" = jail, if I were pulled over for NOT doing my henna treatments weekly to cover the gray, (lazy). I've been gray haired since I was 19yrs and I'm 43yrs now. The Curly Police would say,"maam, step outta the car and put yo' hands on your head. You have the right to remain silent but yo' gray hair is SCREAMIN !! (LOL) FO-REAL YALL.
    Allnatural1 (Michelle in TX)

  • G Jones says:

    I would be arrested and jailed for coming out the house with my hair damp! lol ( I am only a few weeks natural, so i am a work in progress)

  • Anonymous says:

    I would be arrested for wearing WIGS and BRAIDS too often! My hair is not the length I want it to be and I don't know many other styles except for wet one's exspecially since its winter. So I'm hoping that the police won't pull me over for covering up my GLORY too often! lol

  • Anonymous says:

    I would be arrested for my bun! It's always there… no time for other things.

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