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Curly Nikki

Natural Hair Nevers!

By January 27th, 202175 Comments

Natural Hair Nevers!
Hey y’all! We all have our preferences, but here are some things involving my hair that I couldn’t even entertain.

I would never…
  • Straighten my hair for an interview. My hair is a part of my identity, and I want employers to know that it is part of the whole package. That whole “I am not my hair” thing is great, but it is a part of who I am. If I don’t get a job because of my hair, I don’t want to work there. Times are hard, but to me– it’s a risk that’s worth it.
  • Pay more than $2.00 for a product that has mineral oil in it. I won’t even call anyone out (side eye), but I can’t even pretend to support a business that deceives people into thinking these products are worth more than they are.
  • Let my children get relaxers. I’m all about self expression, but this is territory at which I’d have to put my foot down. They are damaging to your health, wallet, and sense of self. Nuh-uh-no-maam!
  • Allow a stylist to detangle my hair with a small tooth comb. Not that I even go to a salon, but let’s be real. I’d hate to have to make a scene.
  • Grease my scalp. Gone are the days where I thought Blue Magic was actually magical. I cringe at the thought of how much petroleum garbage I was piling on my scalp. It may work for some, but certainly not me.
  • Get kinky twists. No diss to any of my natural sisters who rock the kinky twists, but the thought of having itchy, synthetic hair near my scalp or skin causes me more anxiety than it should. Shudder.
  • Bleach my hair. You can put this in the same category as getting a relaxer or wearing blue/green contacts. My ancestors hair didn’t grow out of their hair blonde. I can’t feel comfortable walking around pretending that mine does.
These are my personal nevers.

What are yours? Share!

Stay fabulous!

75 Comments

  • Anonymous says:

    How about NEVER follow dumb a hair tips…Monistat—hahahahahahhahaaha!

  • Anonymous says:

    My cousin has blonde hair and green eyes. A lot of my cousins actually. Guess what, my son has it too. No they are not albino. Also You can get kinky twists with human hair. You sound incredibly stupid and self centered.

  • Anonymous says:

    Okay I never say never for a few things and my hair is one of them!! I regularly wear kinky twists and one product that I own has mineral oil. I wear wigs and extentions when I want a long or straight look. About relaxing kids hair – I don't like it cause I know first hand what happens!!!

  • Anonymous says:

    I would never leave in a homemade hair milk that has salt in it, in my hair:( my hair felt like straw afterwards!

  • Anonymous says:

    I will never relax my hair again. (No relaxer for over 18 years.)

  • HairPolitik says:

    Been there done that with the small comb- at an AFRICAN BRAIDING SHOP OF ALL PLACES! I was pissed. She started snatching my hair out and I almost lost it. In the end, I had to grab one of their large tooth combs and detangle it myself!

  • Anonymous says:

    Yeah Anonymous 9:05am is right. But Nikki posted it though. So what does that say? That guest should be booted!!

  • Anonymous says:

    Nikki didn't write this. It came from a guest blogger!

  • Anonymous says:

    Nikki, I would never post a question like this & respond in the judgmental way that you did.If you have to preface a statement with "No diss to any of my natural sisters.." then this is your first clue that it will come across as you projecting your judgment & opinion on other people to subconsciously make them feel worse about themselves. It's called leveling.It shows that you are still young. We couldn't expect more because you haven't lived long enough to experience more & gain more wisdom though. So no harm done, we understand. You probably won't see this right now but trust me, when you get older you will look back on this & see it more clearly.

  • Anonymous says:

    Nikki, you sound judgmental, hypocritical, & uninformed about some of your "nevers". Your hair does not come out of your head all thick, silky, & black but yet you use henna for those reasons. Nor does it just curl up at the ends on its own, you manipulate it. If you really wanted to look like your ancestors, girl your hair would be the complete opposite of what you're portraying. I would also advise you to research more on the kinky twists.You may have an allergy to the chemicals on the hair but everyone knows to do a ACV rinse on the hair to counteract the "itching" effect. How many other synthetic & chemical laden products are you using??-lotions,aerosols, cleansers,etc. Giving your opinion is one thing but backing them up w/ unfounded or uneducated statements make you look as if you're throwing rocks in a glass house. But then that's just my opinion.

  • Anonymous says:

    I would never…
    use Mixed Chicks products for my hair, especially since they are bigoted and advocate colorism, by throwing their support for one skin tone over another.
    Stupidity. I hope they lose more customers over this crap too.

    http://sakitaholley.com/2011/01/17/the-pr-fallout-from-mixedchicks-choosing-a-side

    http://bglhonline.com/2011/01/mixed-chicks-supports-team-light-skin-on-twitter-experiences-fallout/

    A stupid #teamlightskin vs. #teamdarkskin broke out on Twitter, and MixedChicks brand supported #teamlightskin. Hmmm. #teamlightskin|#teamdarkskin=#teamignorance. MixedChicks=#teamignorance.

    Newsflash ladies, lots of light skinned, dark skinned and medium skinned women won't be using your products now. Colorism is bigotry in my book. This is just as big or bigger than the Afroveda scandal in my book.

    Guesses Curly Nikki can't/won't say anything because the company is a sponsor of her site. Can't see how she can keep their ads on her site when she's darker toned.

    Any sane woman should avoid using MixedChicks products.

  • ashley says:

    Beautiful ladies! I love my naturellas! Definitely no more perms and never any petrooleum/mineral oil nor other harmful chemicals!!! Once my hair grows, I may do away with the extensions. Otherwise I'm down for anything once 🙂 You all inspire me BTW!

  • Anonymous says:

    I do not entirely agree with this post – i am not 'crying out' just a grown woman opnion. Anyway i would not relax my hair that i now all the others as others have stated – never say never.

    No perms because my hair goes really really thin i like the volume of afro hair! Plus not many hairdressers actually do it correctly anyway

  • Anonymous says:

    I don't think she was being judgemental. The way I see it is that everyone has an opinion so let her have hers geesh..

    Just share with her and say hey wait a minute, there are some black people with blonde hair and blue eyes..(if that was the PEOPLE she was referring to). I think all the people 'crying out' about her list felt like she was personally talking about YOU and she was not lol….

    but back to the orignial topic:

    – I would never perm my hair again.
    – I would never wear braids or get a weave. It just does not work well with my scalp.
    – I would never let my children perm my hair.

    I think that's it for now 😀

  • Anonymous says:

    very judgemental

  • Anonymous says:

    Sadly, I remember a few job interviews from last year. ALL of the interviewers couldn't help but to stare at my natural curls, and not in a good way, one of them couldnt hide the disgust, it was written all over her face. I eventually found a GREAT JOB with great people, its nice to be around people who accepts you for who you are.

  • Anonymous says:

    some people put the fungal creme in their hair because they say it makes it grow really fast…..i guess….lots of videos about it on you tube

  • Anonymous says:

    kinky twists are GREAT for a person in med school … very LOW maintenance and my hair is growing with greatness! #goodbye

  • Anonymous says:

    why? why? why? would you put a FUNGAL creme on your hair???????

  • Bria says:

    It does say its a personal opinion/peeve but this does come off quite judgemental. The only reason I wouldn't bleach my hair again is because of potential damage it may cause and even if I did then I can always cut it again – I'm not afraid of short hair, it will grow back. I would never equate it to someone wanting to look like another race – it's about doing something different. I like to have fun with my hair and I've bleached, dyed it red, pink, black, used permanent and semi permanent dyes many times over the years. I like change, its as simple as that. And as for pretending like it's yours, it's unlikely that anyone would think it is your natural hair color even if it was. My hair had natural blonde highlights up until my early teens and people assumed I was lying when I said it was naturally that way (very fustrating for a kid). With that said, I won't Henna to dye my hair again as last time it irritated my scalp something terrible and I'm already tired of the color!

  • Patience says:

    I will never relax my hair or my child's. I will never judge other people, I will never buy miss jessie's products,and I will never let anyone else cut my hair (two salons two disaster cuts when I asked for a trm and both tried to use a finetooth comb in my nappy hair darling) all of which I have done. The never which I haven't and wouldn't anyway are: I would never dye or bleach my hair.

  • Anonymous says:

    @Zhay
    Because that's what it is… It's the active ingredient in Monostat

  • Anonymous says:

    just wanted to chime in about the bleach and blonde hair growing out of an African head. My sister has dark brown hair. As a child she had light brown hair with blonde streaks in the front/crown of her head. And she didn't have a perm, it was all natural. My Dad's sister has brown hair too and we are all 100% straight Nigerian (and therefore, African), no mixture. I also have some (African) friends and family members with blue,green, hazel eyes.

  • Zhay says:

    What is miconazole nitrate and why does it sound like medication for a yeast infection? I'm in the never say never camp but I'm not likely to:

    Shave my head
    Relax it EVER again
    Perm my child's hair (even easier cuz right now I just have a little boy)

  • Anonymous says:

    Wow some of ya'll took this topic waaaayyy off the chart, go back and read what Nikki posted again. Gheez! She is not being judgemental, if anything challenging you to think about what are your hair boundaries. Stretch YOUR thinking and we can agree to disagree…this website is not about providing fluff.

    As for me I would never:
    Relax my hair (never again)
    Wear any type of synthetic hair (has never appealed to me)
    Dye my hair a light color (too harsh on the hair)
    Believe the hype behind some of these high dollar natural hair products (I bought a $30 jar of Kinky Curly and was disappointed and pissed…never again)
    As far as interviews go I have thought about flat ironing but haven't convinced myself to do so yet. Actually have an interview tomorrow, going to wear a bantu knot out)

  • Anonymous says:

    Funny how on one hand peeps criticize about the perception (subjective) of being high and mighty about her hair and then say it's wrong to judge others? Aren't you judging with the same hand you are trying to slap somebody with?

    If a woman wants to feel high as pie about HER hair then let her since we are not judging people on their feelings about their hair, right?

  • Anonymous says:

    I like this post. I only have one never, as of now..i would never put miconazole nitrate in my hair…

  • Sharmer says:

    Two things i dont agree with in this post

    1. Nothing wrong with kinky twists and you dont have wear synthetic hair
    2. There are tribes in Africa, black tribes, with people born with naturally blonde hair.
    3. There are black people who are born with blue or green eyes. I know some personally.
    Just felt like some of her "facts" needed to be straightened out

  • Anonymous says:

    I am thinking I will not relax again I can heat straighten my hair. I would heat straighten for an interview. I may have an interview coming up and let me tell you when you are in a crappy dead end job (like me) or without employment you may think twice about hair that grows back incomparison to money. I can say one thing though, I am never going to trust every natural I come across because not every natural has hair like mine. I have had the itchest head one can ever have since I went natural no one told me I would. I have heard about ph stuff and blah blah blah but the fact is I am looking for a simple way to unitch my head. I have to wash my hair every few days because I just can't stand the itching. I am not sure what to do but I do know that naturals should never say never you never know what you might find yourelf doing to get some relief.

  • Anonymous says:

    I will Never buy Miss Jessies products again
    I will never limit myself and my hair by not trying new things except Keratin treatment not worth it

  • Anonymous says:

    "I am finding that people who for some reason or another just discovered/accepted the wonders/beauty/reality of their natural hair have developed this "high and mighty" way of looking at hair. You cannot have had a perm for most of your life then decide to suddenly be natural and pass this kind of judgement on anyone or anything. It just strikes me as ludicrous."
    I would have to disagree with this comment, some of us as girls growing up did not have a choice of it our hair was permed/relaxed. I recieved a relaxer at the age of four so in essence I was being taught that straight hair is and was beautiful/acceptable. I don't believe that the women who are becoming natural are acting high and mighty. They are accepting a part of them that was stripped away.

  • Ms. Simpson says:

    I will never tell someone or suggest that the choices they make for there hair is not good for them. I have to live with the choices I make for my hair and wouldn't want to impose those choices onto someone else for any reason. As for my hair, I would always choose the healthiest, most reasonable, and best long term effects for my hair and physical health.

  • DvaAuNaturel says:

    This needs to be included – I will never be judgemental about what another person chooses to do to his/her own hair. I think people need to really get over themselves about hair – really! I totally agree with Anonymous 7:16 pm

  • april says:

    I feel strongly that I will never relax my hair again. I'm not interested in trying henna, there must be an alternative to thicken my hair. I will never relax my child's hair. I will never cut it into a cute style again lol, I miss the length that I had. I feel very strongly that I will never buy from Hairveda again. That's all for now.

  • Anonymous says:

    "I am finding that people who for some reason or another just discovered/accepted the wonders/beauty/reality of their natural hair have developed this "high and mighty" way of looking at hair. You cannot have had a perm for most of your life then decide to suddenly be natural and pass this kind of judgement on anyone or anything. It just strikes me as ludicrous."

    WELP. I can't say I don't agree.

  • Cynthis says:

    Re: Taneica

    "life is too short to put limitations on something as potentially limitless as natural hair."

    I completely agree! Very well put. Child I did NOT go natural to consider the 'nevers'. I might go dye my hair half blond and half green right now! LOL

  • Taneica says:

    Lol@the comment police. Theyre out in full force!*rolling eyes* I would never get a perm or give my kid a perm. Other than that, life is too short to put limitations on something as potentially limitless as natural hair.

  • Anonymous says:

    I actually just finished putting some of that petroleum garbage on my scalp. Oops.

  • Anonymous says:

    Agree 601! People went off on their labeling and justifying why they straighten their hair for job interviews, and Hannah Montana etc etc. Nobody was asking yall all that lol! It's a post about PERSONAL boundaries not why you should or shouldn't have them. Back to the topic:

    1. Would never relax
    2. Would never straighten for an interview
    3. Would not relax my daughters hair, but she has the option after 16 and can pay for her own hair care to do what she wants because it's her hair not mine.
    4. Honestly, I would not loc again. Been there several times and loved it but unless there's some kind of water rationing in the future (that's very possible since we love destroying our environment) I would not loc. It's not great for my fine hair.

  • Anonymous says:

    I agree Anon 6:01, this post is not to debate what CurlyNikki would never do. Why is it soooo hard for people to follow directions!?!? Geesh!

  • Channing says:

    I try not to say NEVER to things as well but I will say as long as I have a say in the matter, Relaxing and bleaching my hair are two things that won't be happening again, I have no interest in or curiosity about either any more…

    But I am curious about people who feel they have to straighten their hair for interviews, why is that? I'm thinking some of us are too hard on ourselves worrying about what we think someone is going to be thinking…

    I remember I had a hiring manager tell me a few years back [this was about clothing and dressing the part though but still relevant] "We don't want you to look cute, we want you to look competent…a cute outfit will get you a compliment, not a job, a person who wont hire you because of your outfit wasn't going to hire you anyway"

    And I think the same can be applied to hair..

  • CessCurls says:

    Never go back to relaxed hair again.

  • Anonymous says:

    I always wonder if people read the entire content of an article before they comment. The author lists things she would never do and asks that you list what you wouldn't do.

  • Anonymous says:

    I will NEVER relax again. I hated getting relaxers, especially after witnessing a traumatic relaxer experience (a friend's hair falling out in clumps). I now realize that I don't need a relaxer to achieve the "straight look", so that's a NEVER I'm positive about.

    I will NEVER bleach my entire head of hair to achieve a lighter color. Streaks maybe.

  • Anonymous says:

    Anon 5:02 I sooo agree. I was browsing from my phone and had to get on the computer to chime in. Depending on the job and position, yes I would straighten or find other alternatives for my hair for an interview. My hair is not long enough to put in a nice bun. Bills need to be paid, so I would have to put my pride to the side and do what I have to do. The same way I would not wear my nose ring to an interview. It is very much a part of me, I don't even take it out for church! But, I don't want my appearance to knock off points or to automatically dismiss me. Call it what you want but mama gotta eat!!

    Luckily I am not in the job market now but if I was, it would be an option

    Kinky twists, sew ins…I love the fact that I can be versatile but at the end of the day, it's hair. With or without my hair, I am still me! So I would never say never to anything because there are too many options out there. I love being natural and its versatility.

  • Taneica says:

    LOL@Natruallytia….I have always wondered if that was REALLY yarn braided into the hair. That's fascinating! Why on earth would anyone do that though? I'm not knocking it, really, Just curious….BTW, I'm tickled by the petroleum comment. Blue magic may not work for YOUR hair, but some people's hair LOVES the stuff (ie.ME). I have been natural all my life and my mom has used that stuff in my hair for years. It goes haywire when I don't use it. The beauty of natural hair is that everyone's hair is DIFFERENT, even if there are simmalarities. Some people's hair strives in sew-ins, braids and other resting styles. This post seems so…political! LOL! It's just hair, honey 🙂

  • Anonymous says:

    I am in the job market now and I will change my hairstyle depending on the nature of the job I am applying for. I can wear braid extensions for the interview and for the probationary period. If I still have the job, then I will look at my styling options. How do you know if someone didn't hire you because of your hair? Are they going to tell you? It's easy to say you won't straighten your hair when you have the income or someone to help support you.

  • Anonymous says:

    your ancestors didn't henna their hair straight either.

  • Anonymous says:

    I will never wear "yarn braids." Not appealing to me.

  • Anonymous says:

    [addendum to anon 4:24 ]It's also presumptuous to assume that someone who occasionally chooses to highlight her, blond or otherwise, or who chooses to add extensions, [II have done neither in my whole life of being natural] is being untrue to her roots or a self- hater.

  • Anonymous says:

    I have been natural my whole life and am finding that people who for some reason or another just discovered/accepted the wonders/beauty/reality of their natural hair have developed this "high and mighty" way of looking at hair. You cannot have had a perm for most of your life then decide to suddenly be natural and pass this kind of judgement on anyone or anything. It just strikes me as ludicrous. Regardless of if you follow- up your statements with "no offense," your statement is in fact, offensive, judgmental, and also quite hypocritical considering your own hair roots. Plenty of these hair methods, styles, products work for a ton of people and at the end of the day, not only are these practices that you've taken a part in, but there will very likely be a point in time where you discover a mineral oil product you absolutely love or discover that changing your hair up for an interview is effective or that kinky twists can prove useful. Anything short of saying "never say never" and "to each her own" is presumptuous, arrogant, and hypocritical. I absolutely understand that is a hyper personalized list of do's/do not's and that you speak for no one but yourself but, perhaps "new naturals" and even "old naturals" can learn to approach our hair observations and practices differently.

  • Anonymous says:

    I said I would never let me child get a relaxer but I did. It's easy to say never until you have a teenager whos self esteem has been crushed because she is teased and an outsider. Children's feelings and thoughts are no different than adults. If we can accept what adults chose to do to their hair why can't we accept that from a child? Now I can say that I would never relax the hair of a young child.

  • Anonymous says:

    very judjemental

  • Chantel says:

    I disagree with part of the bleaching statement simply because some african americans are born with blonde, red, and even grey hair all over. On the other had it does strip the hair something terrible. I agree with KeetaRay too my last job didn't wear my hair straight at all and I shouldn't be expected to. Besides its not like everybody at my job was a natural blonde or brunette :/ so why so I have to front while they do it freely. I also would NEVER EVER do a keratin treatment(burning eyes not a good look)

  • Anonymous says:

    I agree with anon 2:54 in that I would never limit myself to what did or didnt have.
    I would also NEVER assume that my ancestors did not have blonde or red hair. As an "African American" my ancestry could be full of people of all colors and shades that I dont know about. Not to mention the fact that people in Africa come in all shades, hair types and hair colors.

  • Anonymous says:

    I lean towards "never say never" as well. A year ago I would not have considered commercial color, as I had learned about Henna and was enjoying that. But then I bought and used some box color recently to cover my gray and chose not fool with the bright orange color that henna deposited on my white/silver hairs. That's one "never" out the window for me and I think there may be more.

    I can only do easy "nevers" like:
    1) Never get a jheri curl
    2) Never get a curly perm
    3) Never shave my head
    4) Never NOT wash my hair
    5) Never use Miss Jessie's again – LOL

    Can't commit to more than that.

  • Beautiful One says:

    We are >HERE< with not wanting the job anyways if I didnt get it because of my hair. I tell my mom that all the time! If someone can be so closeminded about hair, I can just imagine what other "things" they are close minded about…

  • Anonymous says:

    I would never limit myself according to what my ancestors did and didn't have or do. They didnt have as many options as we do now, so to compare doesnt make any sense. Yes, I love my natural hair but choosing to imitate someone else's style who doesnt have the same hair doesn't mean that I dont love me. If your daughter wants to wear her hair like Hannah Montana every once in a while are you going to say no just because her hair isnt curly? I'm going to teach my kids to love all races and all hair types. Just because you are born with a certain look doesnt mean that you cant love and wear other styles.

  • luvmylocs says:

    great list and post!
    i would never:
    – straighten my hair with heat (just not something i care to do, whatever i can achieve with rollers and twists is as good as it gets)
    – relax my kids hair (when i have them)
    – wear braids with hair added(they are just too rough on my hair)
    – abuse my hair with harsh chemicals and/or handling processes

  • Anonymous says:

    Never say Never. Enjoying the versitilty of being natural, with caution of course. Healthy hair is happy hair and I do all within my knowings to keep my hair healthy and happy while enjoying hair being hair (versitility). But one thing I can say, to permanently straighten again, I know not!

  • honeybrown1976 says:

    I have to agree with Anonymous 1:02. Saying never is a limitation. I bypass all limitations to the best of my ability.

  • Anonymous says:

    I will never, ever, ever, ever, ever relax again. ever.

  • Ty says:

    I will never relax my hair..that I know for sure.

    I will never get kinky twist, the lady that did mine cut my hair in the process of cutting the fake hair. Never again!!!!

  • MiiSS kECiia says:

    I agree with anonymous 1:02 also… with the exception that i will not relax my hair again…

  • Anonymous says:

    I could not agree with you more Anonymous 1:02!!!

  • Tonya says:

    I will never straighten my hair again, not after the ridiculous heat damage I suffered.

  • Anonymous says:

    ditto Anonymous 1:02

  • Anonymous says:

    I would never…
    say never when it comes to my hair.

  • KeepItMovingDotCom says:

    Amen! I went natural after college many years ago. Upon getting my first teaching job I was told that I would need to "polish" my look, i.e. cut my hair or straighten it. So I had my megafro cut down and about two months after that I ended up relaxing it again. I couldn't conceive of all of the styles like twist-outs back then .
    I've regretted making that decision and I've regretted taking that job ever since.

  • Anonymous says:

    I would straighten my hair for an interview and have. You have to play the game to get where you are going. I am true to myself and my pocket book. It's just hair.
    But I probably won't let my kids get a relaxer until their teens. But I won't pay for it.

  • Anonymous says:

    I would never…
    -straighten my hair
    -use heat on my hair
    -dye my hair (except for henna)
    -wear a wig, weave or extensions
    -let a stylist man handle my hair
    -let my child relax their hair
    -use un-natural products
    -grease my scalp

  • ChiCity Kitty says:

    I just had an interview on Friday in a very ultra conservative firm and I rocked a fabulous twist out. I would NEVER alter my appearance for any employer.

    I think that there are more people who admire our looks, our style and individuality than those who don't.

  • DeeDee says:

    what can i say, u pretty much nailed it!

  • Unknown says:

    I agree completely @KeetaRay!

  • KeetaRay says:

    I also wouldn't straighten my hair for a job interview, and when I lost my job last year, I didn't. I wore my natural hair to interviews and I found a great new job. I figured why straighten it because if they hire me, I'm not going to continue to wear it straight. May as well see me how I am going to show up for work everyday 🙂

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