by Tyesia of A Blues for Nina

I received an email this weekend that I have not been able to dismiss despite my many attempts to pretend it did not happen. I am just in such disbelief that it has indeed earned it’s on blog post.

I have to consider that everyone does not understand this natural hair movement and everyone is not going to “like” my kinks.

That’s fine.

You are certainly entitled to your opinions and preferences. However, when your reasoning for not being in agreement with this beautiful movement resembles something along the lines of the following, a mean side-eye is most definitely in order.

“Natural hair, lol. It’s cute on some girls. I think it’s just a fad though. I’ll be glad when it goes away. I think some girls do it because they can not afford the good weave or sew-in. So this is their excuse. But I don’t think any of these girls will be natural for the rest of their life. Girls talk like this is a lifetime commitment. Straight down hair is equivalent to a guy with a fresh fade. It’s accepted everywhere like Visa. You can not attend a formal banquet, dance, or business meeting looking like foxy Cleopatra Brown in a dress.”

*insert broken heart here*

My dear friend goes on to say, “You will be looked down upon by white people.”

I just died. Please dress my body in full African garb and make arrangements for Badu to deliver my eulogy. Thanks.

To say I am disappointed would be the understatement of the century. It is beyond saddening to hear African Americans speak with such disdain for those of us who choose to revel in our natural splendor. Is that level of confidence and self-actualization in itself not enough to make a woman beautiful in her own right? To tell me that the hair growing from my scalp is unacceptable for display is just. . .

What’s worse is that this friend of mine is right. These are merely observations of our society’s ideals about beauty and the pressure we feel to conform. Since I BC’d, I have most definitely noticed a difference in the way and the frequency in which I am approached by men. It certainly takes some getting used to. No woman ever wants to feel LESS attractive, but how many of you would take freedom and self-love any day over cat calls from unworthy suitors while you mind your own business?

I thought so.

I have embraced my hair, and I have accepted that many of my peers disapprove. I have my own idea of beauty and it goes far beyond a 4oz bundle of Virgin Indian hair in a 1b. If my kinks are going to work against me in my social life, workplace, or affect career advancement in any way then I seriously need to re-evaluate the company I keep and the industry in which I want to display my many talents.

For the record, I can afford the “good” weave and my love for self can afford to go without it.


In the meantime, somebody cue Willow!

*Whips hair back and forth*