Jennifer writes;
While transitioning, I found it hard to style my hair and settled with wearing hats.This proved disastrous when I chose to wear it to school-not any old school, but HIGH SCHOOL, where the smallest mistakes ruin your social life. Anyways, while sitting in class another student, who shall remain nameless, decided to see exactly what I was hiding by tearing my hat off my head. This was before my knowledge of silk scarf and what not, so my hair was a complete knotted mess. Immediately, I felt my hand cover my mouth in complete embarrassment. The entire class was laughing as my cheeks turned a deep red. I plopped my hat back on and slid down in my chair. All I could do was laugh it off. Now, two years after the “incident”, I’m still in high school and still afraid to wear my hair out. My questions to my big hair role models are:
What were some of your most embarrassing hair moments and how did you deal with them?
I was in high school (still am) and my hair was very messy so i decided to sport a wig for that day. I was in the cafe area with lots of other teens chatting and socializing. Till one of my friends came and decided to touch my hair because she loved the look of it. This is where the whole 'look but don't touch' becomes relevant, because when she touched it, not only did some of my hair become tangled around her fingers but then pulled it back. The wig came flying off my head and of course I was shocked and embarrassed. Luckily no-one except for my close friends around me saw and all tried covering me up whilst I put my wig back on. Ever since, if people touch my hair I immediately fly kick them.
I once used raw egg as a protein treatment…
i applied the whisked egg to my hair and then rinsed out….but with hot water and ended up with scrambled egg in my fro
…not a good look! xx
I feel you I'm also in high school and the first day I wore my fro out I was super proud! But to my surprise at my school (which is predominantly white) a majority of the negative comments came from the black girls. Everyone else loved it. Some people aren't used to accepting natural beauty but they are held captive to every single fashion trend and fad including chemically straightening hair. So even if you have a bad hair day, most of the beauty comes from your confidence and the hair complements it 🙂
I just typed my whole embarrassing story and I go to post and the page messes up. Phooey. I'll just read all of yours.
OH EM Gee Honey @1:21 AM!!! I was laughing out loud!
When we were little – my mom used to press the life out of my hair. I remember one time at the beach, a little caucasian girl stated, "you don't have enough hair to make a ponytail". That hurt so badly. And I NEVER HAD LONG HAIR due to the abuse from hot combs, hot curlers, relaxers and the dreaded jheri.
Dearest Jennifer – I'm 49 years old now and I bc'd two years ago. I am not gonna lie – I had some low self esteem days, some texturizer setbacks, and the "hard hair" days. But NOW, not a day goes by that I don't receive a compliment for my natural, 4b/c, 4 inches long c-napps! It's not afrolicious by a long shot, but I whip it anyway!
1. Keep some Goody soft headbands in a variety of colors. They're my bad-hair-day-quick-fix!
2. Hairpins can help create a quick faux-hawk
3. Have a fragrant leave in creme or oil mixture to scrunch in and use a pick/lift to get some volume and length. (I use MJ BabyButtercreme and/or Carol's Daughter oil). Just the scent alone drives them wild!
Like the ladies said – don't leave home without doing something for your hair, it's just not worth it!
I wish you well, love. My worst "natural" bad hair day was -NOTHING- compared to my "perm-victim" bad hair dayss!
oh dang. ok so i'm currently a junior in high school and when i was transitioning, i couldn't wait for my hair to be worn curly!! so i wet it and put moose and thought it looked good and took it to school. i'm cool with alot of people so they were sorta teasing me about my hair. (like girl what's up witcha hair sha! etc) i cut most of the premed part out n rock it bantu knot outs now (they and i LOVE it. i rock my hair in a sort of punkish way :)and now everywhere i turn, i see girls with premmed hair trying to rock it "curly." alot of females are transitioning now at my school. 🙂
Ok here goes lol I'm studying to be a teacher and you have to take a few certification tests in order to teach in tx. So i arrived at the testing center at 7:30 a.m. I threw on a hat before I ran out the door. My hair was in plaits and rollers under the beret. I figured it would be fine for a testing center. When I entered the facility, the woman behind the counter said that I needed to remove my hat and lock it in the locker. I asked to use the restroom and attempted to take the plaits out, but I didnt have enough time. So I took my test feeling very self concious about my hair. I passed though!! 🙂 Hang in there sweetheart!
I have had me a lot of embarassing moments and the best thing to do in this case is to laugh about it and laugh with them as other laugh at you. I did have an embarassing moment too while transitioning. Towards the end of my transition, I transitioned with braids. I was going to get my braids done at a friend's house very early in the morning around 8:30am, I did not probably detangle my hair either just like you and put on a hat, it was the middle of winter so it was not out of place. I was running late for the bus and was pretty much running after it, I got on the bus and the first thing I notice was the weird look the driver gave me, I thought it was because I was panting so hard, I also notice people in the bus staring at me strange but for some reason I did not think much about it, it was when I got off the bus and it drove off did I catch a glimpse of the myself and say a scary person with a birdnest of some kind on her head, did I realise that while running for the bus, my hat slipped off and I have been sitting on the bus with crazy woman hair, like it was sticking everywhere because it was also a windy day. I had to walk the rest of the way to my friends hour with my hair like that, ppl were staring at me and I did feel a bit weepy and cold. But then I thought to myself what the heck, they don't know me and pop the collar of my coat and kept walking. How is that for an embarassing story, even my friend looked alarmed when she opened the door for me
Great suggestions on sticking to hair products but sadly i can't afford it. I'll remain envious for now, Lol!
OMG! I feel so special right now…i had no idea this was going to get published. these are true words of inspiration. i find it weird that some of you were inspired by my courage to go natural in high school but it is because of you and your wonderous hair and wisdom that i continue to keep the "evil one" away. Your stories help to ease my own troubles as i struggle to exude my Hippie/Rocker/Natural self. I truly love u guys! Well, back to homework!
Great that everyone's supporting the OP, but what about the STORIES, Lol! Sewdope – LOVES IT!!! LOL!!!!
Okay, so I was maybe 13, and went to Great Adventure, NJ with friends. I had recent perm breakage leaving me 4inches of hair and was (NOT) rocking a black scrunchie wrapped around my hair to look like a bun – you know that one. My hair? Pulled into a rubber band to anchor said scrunchie. So, we go on the roller coaster and of course it's one of those rides where they stop it upside down for a minute or so. My sad scrunchie-fake-bun fell off my hair from god-knows-what height while I'm upside down, Lol!!! I grabbed the back of my head which had a tiny bit of hair in a tiny little rubber band and was so EMBARRASSED! A lot of people wondered 'what that was' that fell and I had to fess up because I looked a little 'different'. So sad! They searched for it, even got the operator to search while I died of mortification!
So Jennifer, when you look back on these events, especially during a phase as socially bush-league as HS, I swear to god you'll laugh your @$$ off! Lol!
Definitely the time I was wearing a natural hairstyle parted ear to ear, with the top braid leading to the bottom one. Somehow the top braid popped up and was standing straight up like a horn. Sadly, I discovered it AFTER everyone was on their forth or fifth round of laughing at me!
First of all, let me say what an inspiration you are to me (a 41 year old married with a child).
I was around 38 when I mustered up the courage to transition to natural and I only started wearing it out loose very recently.
Awhile ago, before I knew how to properly style it, I attempted a twist out. The twist out was not very well defined from the very start but I decided to wear it anyway, well as the day wore on my hair became more and more UNDEFINED. It wasn't cute but I read somewhere that sometimes you might have to 'fake it until you make it' when it comes to rocking your natural hair – and that's just what I did.
I smiled, strutted, and socialized as if my hair was the greatest thing since Beyonce's trademark lace front wig.
You've already demonstrated strong self-confidence just in your choosing to wear your natural hair. Self-love is a very powerful and sexy act. Keep loving yourself and your hair. In time you will learn how to style it the way you feel comfortable and before you know it you may find that some of those that once laughed at you are now asking for advice about how to wear their natural hair.
Stay strong young Goddess and keep loving yourself.
I wear my hair natural because it's a part of my faith in God. When I first went natural it was a challenge. However when u embrace who God has made u and praise him through your hair all the embarrassing times fade away. Find a hairstyle that compliments you.
I agree with anonymous at 1:12 pm. As someone who had natural hair in high school while perm was the "in" thing, I understand how it feels like. One time this girl told me that my hair looked like it was done by my blind grandmother and everyone in the room laughed. Sounds funny now, but back then I wanted the ground to swallow me up because I was so embarrassed. My mom did my hair in JUMBO braids and straight hair was what was popular at that time. Everyone I knew had a perm. Just don't let other people opinions influence your decisions no matter what they say. Experiment with natural products and styles that look good on you. Its so strange now how the tables have turned. The girl who made fun of me has hair that has been destroyed by perm and everyone I know who has a perm tell me how much they love my hair and that I should never get a perm. Such is life. I learned to ignore people's opinions. If I had listened to CERTAIN people in my life, I literally would not be alive today.
oh… lesson number two…
sometimes it's just better to wait for the next train. lol don't try to run and do a matrix move to hurry and and get on as the doors close.
so… yea i never told a soul abou this but i'm going to help you out young curly!
on my way home from high school (why do these things always happen in high school!!!) my scarf bun got caught in the doors of the subway. i felt it happen and tried to save face but it was too late. my turban-scarf-bun-fabulousness was chillin in the doors and i was standing there with a RED face totally embarrassed. thankfully, i left school early that day so non of my classmates were on the train but the other passengers laughed their asses off. i thankfully had my hair cornrowed underneath so i was spared that embarassment but have you ever had to wait a full stop for your turban-scarf-bun-fabulousness to be released by the train doors? lmao! my ears are turning red as i type this. when i say people were laughing so hard that they had tears coming down there eyes! yea… wackadoodle day indeed.
The best thing to to be confident and try not show you're affected or that it bothers you as its natural to be self conscious of how hair looks so its an effort to try not care about what people think.
I am 1year post relaxer and my embarassing moment was when i went to the doctors.They have this machine that takes your blood pressure,weight and height.As i didn't know how to use the machine the receptionist assissted me.
That day i hadn't styled my hair so i had a hat on, my fave "no styling" solution!Much to my suprise much to my suprise she said i had to remove my hat so the machine could measure my height accurately!I was mortified as i had 4 braids on my head from the night before. I told the lady i couldn't as my hair wadn't done,the receptionist kept telling me my hair would be fine and that it would be ok, she was so nice to me so i finally agreed but was SOOO embarassed as i never thought i would show my 4 braids to the world that day! LOL I guess that taught me a good lesson to do my hair when i go out and if i dare wear a hat to make sure my hair underneath is styled!
From the UK
I decided to big chop four months before the Senior prom (and this was 11 years ago-natural hair was so not in, in New Orleans); I made the decision to rock what I had because I was too damn fly to conform. Do me a favor and look around you–do you want to be like the other girls you see around you? Get your product line up together and when you perfect your styles-you better WERK!!!!! Things will get better in time and so will your situation. Good luck and keep your head up!
Jennifer – please reread what
Skittledittle and LaToya said. As a former high school teacher and school administrator, I think I understand the issues that shake your confidence–teenagers can be cruel and sometimes the adults fall short in helping young people through crises and adjustments. In high school (many eons ago), we had a trampoline in high school PE and my wig flew off while I was jumping, revealing dry, matted braids–so not cool and acceptable in 1966. I laughed with everyone else like you, but was hurt by what I thought people thought about me. I was prompted by that experience to keep my hair looking good all of the time so that I didn't have to resort to a wig again to hide a bad hair day. I suspect you haven't found products and styles that will help your hair be all that it can be so you can feel confident about wearing it out. Experiment, find what works for you, and learn how to deal with haters because they are everywhere at every age. Good luck my young sistah. I wish you well.
My most embarrassing natural hair moment happened last summer. I did a wash and go with a different conditioner than usual and when I arrived for the festivities, my aunt informed me that I had a head full of "little white balls". Apparently, my leave-in did not dry clear or did not play nicely w/the other products in my hair so I had to run to the sink and try to dilute it. It was a big deal because I had family there who had not accepted my natural hair and really wanted to represent! That happened another time when I went out with friends. The main thing you need to have is flexibility and confidence in yourself. Access to water, metal-free pony holder or headband, 5 bobby pins, or a knee high doesn't hurt, though!
This reminds me of the reverse of the phrase "better to be thought a fool than to remove all doubt" (stick with me here).
Instead of having assumptions drawn about your hair and general appearance, DO YOU and remove all doubt. You are *fabulous* under that hat. This seems to me just a reason to hide overall (forgive me if I'm overreaching). As a person who is "fearfully and wonderfully made" you don't need a hat. You already have your crown, so rock it like you mean it. If you're not comfortable with that all at once, start wearing your hair out on the weekends and practice certain styles until you have a firmer grasp on them.
Your best accessory is confidence. If you rock that, you can rock any embarrassing hairstyles.
When I was in high school, I could care less what people thought about me. I did alot of things people thought were weird, but I had already figured out awhile before then that I was nothing like the masses. So, I continued to set trends, and when I graduated I noticed alot of my trends had become popular. The main people who tried to make me "normal" and criticized me for being different realized that I was just a lil too fab for their eyes at the moment in their life, and now they have to catch up. So honey do what YOU do. They're just not on your level just yet.
Probably the most embarrassing for me was trying a new style (an updo) and I thought I was rocking in it. Only to get to work to have someone tell me, that it looked and awful and don't wear it like that again. Did I listen….NOPE! Acutally, I'm rocking that style today (I've perfected it a lot better since then!)
But point blank, don't be afraid to rock your hair out! As long as you embrace your hair, others have no choice to follow. And for those who don't…forget them. They wish they could be original like you! Stay fabulous!!!!
I commend you for wearing your hair natural in High School. Its really hard to be different in high school. All I can tell you is to be yourself and people will respect it, if they don't who cares. Who knows, you may start a new trend.