by Chai of Back to Curly

Oddly enough, one of the biggest obstacles I’ve had to face during the early phases of my first BIG CHOP was something far more delicate and difficult to ignore than frequent quips from ignorant family and friends. While those instances are just as important to confront and learn from during the natural hair journey, coming to terms with the changes in my own personal thinking seemed always the biggest hurdle.

During the days after my first BC, I was left feeling helpless and bordering on failure. Standing in front of the mirror with a boar bristle in one hand (incredulous!), and a tub of Aloe gel in the other to slick down and hide the massive growth sprouting from my head was a regular occurrence.

Imagine giving birth to something you’d envisioned for so long, wanted and craved because of all the incredible things you’d heard (not so silly…), only for it to arrive and have nothing to feed and nurture it with, simply because you were not mentally prepared.

The love part, that some of us instantaneously expect doesn’t always happen, and while that’s okay…even normal, being unafraid to wait takes even more strength. The love…the adulation is worth having and worth waiting for if your reasons for going natural were honest, and solely for you.

The most effective way to silence your own worst critic and gain a more firm footing on the image you see before you in the mirror…is to make time for yourself. Don’t rush your thinking about what your hair ‘could’ look like, what it ought to be, instead face the fear. If it is small, stomp it out. If it is large and overbearing, stemming from years of hidden insecurities, claim it before it collapses your wall of confidence and the burden of rebuilding is all you see.
I love this quote from Sociology of Sheena, “the power of contentment lies already in you. You can be your own source.”

Our worst critics…even those found within the confines of our own thinking are our best guides. Abuse them if you have to, but don’t ignore them, nor allow them to manifest into something greater than what you foresee. Be your own source…envision it, until you’re able to claim what’s yours.

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