KhadiJah (not pictured above) writes;
First off, let me give you a lil’ background on my hair. In January of 2005, I had my last perm, and probably my last visit to a hair salon. I’ve been caring for my hair on my own ever since. Can’t say I’ve had the best experiences, mainly because I went on this journey on my own, and with little knowledge on how to really care for natural hair. This is why your site is a blessing to me now :).
Today, my hair is usually flat ironed and in a ponytail. I co-wash every week and flat iron at least 3 times during the week. Even though I love my natural tresses, I still feel a bit self conscious when it comes to rocking my napptural hair. You see, I’m the only female in my classes, my major is automotive technology, and having your hair out is a no no in the work area at school due to safety reasons. But even so, on days when we are not working on cars, I still don’t wear my hair out. I think I lack self confidence when it comes to rocking natural styles, so here I am, coming to you asking, have you ever faced anything similar? And what are some of the things you do or say to build up the confidence to wear your natural styles (twist-outs, etc…)?
I can totally relate!
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I absolutely understand! I BC'd in Oct 2010 and felt ever so self conscious. But, I decide every day to stand by my decision and learn to love me as God made me. I want that power. I was a slave to the mind set of having "relaxed" hair/hair styles..I needed to end that mind set.
It continues to be a learning experience. I feel liberated, I feel more accepting of myself and I have been social and dress up, our running errands and not so hot. The confidence will come…I feel it, you will too.
Pecancurls took the words right out of my mouth: experiment with styles in the privacy of your home. Play around with twist outs, buns, wearing your hair "out" when you're home on the weekends. Try some curl defining products (like Kinky Curly Curling Custard, Happy Nappy Styles or some others you're sure to see in stores or read about in natural hair forums). Try it out when you're going to the grocery store or when going out with your friends. Once you get the hang of few styles and get comfortable (and confident) with it, then go on and venture into work and/or the classroom. (And feel free to leave the flat iron alone 😉 )
You should start with baby steps and gradually the confidence will come with it. My motto is fake it till it becomes real. When I first turned natural, the only thing that saved me was bcos I never gave a hoot about what people thought about me. Even when my hair is not looking fierce, I still get so many compliment which makes it worth it. Baby steps dear, you have to start somewhere.
I conducted a survey and found that 83% of the participants felt more confident with natural hair. Visit a my Facebook and YouTube page Natural Hair Sistahs to view the results.
OMG..im glad I just read this. It has been at the back of my mind for a while and officially crossed my mind just a few days ago. I went natural under the same circumstances. Not really knowing anything (or should I say knowing all the wrong things) about kinky-curly hair. It was not really a decision to "go natural" as it was that I just stopped getting relaxers. But anyway, a few days ago I was having a hard time trying to make my hair look reasonable before class in the morning (my ponytails just weren't looking right). It only looked a little cute (well, pretty cute) when I let it hang. I realized, why should I always have to feel like I have to wear a pony tail or manipulate my hair in some way. This is the hair that God gave you, so I don't think there's anything wrong with wearing it out like it is. If people want to look and stare and think whatever, let 'em. Shoot. You just have to realize that your natural hair is you, and nothing else. Needless to say, I wore my hair out that day and went about my business. Most people gave me compliments and if anybody was giving me the side-eye, I didn't notice.
Check out Kimmay Tube's channel on Youtube! Before i was even transistioning i was inspired by her channel and how easy it was to recreate the styles.My hair was thinning so i took the plunge to stop relaxing and at i am 14months post and have the confidence due to all the tutorials i have seen online.
I'm probably in a different place than a lot of new naturals (cutting off all my hair wasn't a big deal for me), but seeing a few friends go natural* has made realize that it IS a big deal for many women. The thing is, you just have to do it (be confident) in order to own it. Hearing people talk about how going natural is cutting them to the core is actually hard for me to listen to, b/c it wasn't a "hard" decision for me. So if you're struggling that much you've got to fake it till you make it. Your profession may not allow for you to have it out at work or in class, but you can wear it out at the grocery store, at the mall, out on the town.
People are going to come at you in some respect in how you present yourself. So if you seem that self-conscious, folks will pick up, see it as a weakness and then attack. You're on this site. So obviously, enough women are natural to make this site popular. You're not THAT alone. You didn't pop out the womb with a "Just for Me" do, so you wearing your hair out isn't a "crazy" notion. Keep that message close, and do YOU boo.
*I've been told that the fact that I didn't see being natural as such a big change, was the inspiration for, oh, more than four women I know deciding to go natural themselves. You can do this. Just take precautions when working around machinery, like ALL women with hair have to do.
She needs to be brave and wear her natural hair out. At first, she will be a little self-conscious, but as time goes on, she will gain more confidence. I had to do that when I big chopped 4 months ago. People gawked and stared at me, but I kept my head up high and kept it moving. Now, I could care less what other people think about my hair. It's a great feeling! Try it out some time! It's very liberating. Just be bold, even if you have to fake it at first.
Check out a great new hair blog!
http://salonnaturelles.blogspot.com/
whether or not i had the confidence, i rocked it anyway because it was coming out of my head 😉
I used to get my hair twisted by a lady who worked from home, same routine every two weeks.. until she upped and went to Ghana for a couple of months without giving me any warning… I was pissed at first, but it was probably the best thing that happened to my fro.. I had to learn to get on with it and started to experiment more and more. Now I wear my fro loud and proud the bigger the better. Sometime I leave the house a little unsure but then I think to hell with what other people think…. Flow it, Show it, Long as God can Grow it My Hair.
Take baby steps until you feel like you are at a point where you can rock it out. Maybe start small by sampling some styles in the comfort of your home just to see how you look and feel. Gradually progress to venturing out one day to run errands, etc, then maybe progress to a day/night out with friends, and so on and so on. Like everything else in life it is about taking that first step. Good luck.
I BCed my hair right before I found out that my employer's budget had been slashed. Knowing that people might be let go I chose to tuck my natural away until everything cooled off. I felt like I was defeating the purpose of going natural, but the same time I was new to it and hadn't learned how to care for my hair. I didn't want my newly natural novice appearance calling any extra attention to me. Don't feel bad for choosing to do what you do. Until you are comfortable with you hair wear it how you see fit.
You have to fake it til you make it! No one goes natural and can automatically do an AMAZING twist out or rod set or whatever style. It takes practice. So it's kind of a catch-22. It won't look good when you first start doing it but the only way to get it to look the way you want is with practice. So just do it and use you tube and natural hair sites to help you find your way 🙂
Hmmm that's a tough one to answer because it truly comes from within. Like the NIKE saying, Just Do It. If you're uncomfortable with it then you'll project that on the world. If you love it, then that's what you'll project. Rock those gorgeous tresses and try looking in the mirror and affirming how much you love it. Seriously!
I wore a short afro for about 10 years, and about 5 years ago, I permed my hair. About 1 1/2 years ago, I cut my permed hair and I was anxious about going natural again. I felt like an afro was boyish. When I told my mom that I was thinking of wearing a wig, she told me not to do it because she said that it becomes addictive weating a wig. I think flat ironing can become addictive. I took mom's advice, and didn't wear a wig, and I must say it is the best thing that I did. Each day I wear my natural hair, I get better at styling it. Also Kimmytube mentioned that you are more than your hair, so it is really about the entire look anyway.
I had a similar issue. I big chopped and was proud that I finally did it but it was such a shock that 3 days laters I went and got seneglese twist put in my head! LOL It's funny now but wasn't at the time. When it was time to take the twist out..I did a excerise every morning until I fell in absolute LOVE with my natural hair. It simply stood in the mirror and told myself I Love You looking myself in the eye and then I touched my hair and looked at it and said I Love You to my hair. I also did this with every other thing I didn't physically like about my body and I tell you it works! You have to counter every negative with a positive. It takes time and patience but you will eventually love your hair
Its simple! Just do it! Wear a twistout to class. If you need it out of the way, bun it.
Good luck!