I LOVE my natural hair, and since I’ve been natural, I’ve always tried to encourage other people around me, especially close friends and family, to experience first-hand he beauty of being “au naturale”. However, sometimes I have noticed that I can become a little over zealous. I have found myself emailing articles, pictures, tutorials, and product information to my non-natural friends hoping that they will become enlightened or something. Once I talked about natural hair facts and information for about 20 minutes during a phone call with my friend…until she finally told me to “shut up” (we both laughed afterward, because we both knew how hyped and excited I was about porosity testing, LOL). Most of my family and friends know that I’ll go on and on about ANYTHING that I’m passionate about, so they realize that I’m not trying to harass/hurt them, but I was wondering…
I respect the choices of others, therefore, I don't try to bully others to go natural. Although, if someone asks me about products, I am more than happy to share.
I realize I do get really excited when talking about natural hair and what a wonderful thing it is…I didn't realize how "excited" until my co-worker told me to stop trying to convince her to go natural. She didn't use a "tone" when she told me but I knew I had to back off some…the thing is that she was natural before for a number of years and decided to relax again because natural hair takes too much work. Yet she tells me her hair is falling and thinning. I try not to judge anyone for the decisions they make…but I can't comprehend what's "low-maintenance" about going to the hair salon as often as she does for wash/blow-outs/touch-ups resulting in thinner/damaged hair when she has experience the wonders of thriving healthy natural hair.
Oh yeah, I was a hair bully… I'll admit it, I mean it all out a desire to help new natural friend I didn't realize what i was doing. but i learned to say things in a way she could understand and i became MUCH,much more supportive also. it helped a bunch and now shes doing better and taking more of my hard earned advice!
check me out,
I've been transitioning since 2005. When I decided to go natural none of my friends took me serious but as my transition went on, a few of my friends became interested in my hair care routine. When I tell them I have none they were surprised because my hair looks healthy. I suffer from split ends but not severe split ends so they were still impressed.
Fast forward to now, and I'd like to think i'm the one who convinced my mom and a friend to go natural. My mom saw that with weekly washes and a blow out, going natural is not that difficult at all. My other friend recently big chopped (something I have yet to do lol) and she wasnt sure what to do with her hair. She wore mostly weaves. Since coming on this site, i've learned a thing or two, and I've been implementing those steps in my life and I was happy to suggest a few styles as well as products to use (and this site to check out of course 😉 ).
Granted some of my friends still pressure me to get a perm, but i'm not listening. Eventhough I secretly HATE the suggestion. Anyways, I hope to convert more friends (so we can share products 😀 )
That is me. I'm always pushing products that are better, reminding my family (especially my mom) about the dangers of perms, mineral and petroleum oil. She had me shutting up one time cause I attempted to talk her out of perming and being natural, and she retorted that I could say that cause I didn't have to deal with my hair everyday (I'm in crochet braids). Done. Now I just share the products that work for me, and let them try them for themselves if they like.
lol… just today my old roomate in college sent me a message on facebook asking for natural hait advice cos since she bced in 5months ago she's not known what to do with her hair. In less that 3 minutes i had typed a whole page reply… i read through it and decided it was information overload, so i just referred her here to curly nikki and told her if she has any questions after that to contact me.. 🙂
I don't try to convince anyone to go natural, but when one of my currently natural friends talks about going back to a relaxer that is where I do try to convince them to stay on the natural trail.
I agree Anon 1:44; I'm not one to bully, coax, threaten, or whatever anyone to become natural. Its a personal choice that THEY should make. My decision to go natural was not influenced by any one person. It was my choice; a decision to focus on strengthening and thickening my hair. I understand people are so excited about their hair and want to share but some can come off sounding condescending instead of influential.
Hey Ladies! It's good to hear I am not the only one. My BFF (who told me to Shut up) is actually transitioning (YAY!!!). She even told me she has been coming to CN and looking at YouTube videos…She even speaks the lingo (ie. W&G, co-wash, twist and curl). All this after I have applied gentle pressure to her…OK, maybe it was firm pressure, but it worked…LOL!
I do hold back though, because I have gotten the side eye a few times. I really hold back with my godmom. When I see her greasing, scratching, and using God-knows what in my godsister's hair, I want to blurt out "WHAT ARE YOU DOING???", but I control my Tourette's Syndrome moments and lead by "deliberate" example. So I'll leave EVCO around the house, leave her computer on CN like I forgot to close it down. I've asked my godmom to help me wash my hair, so she can see the process, and convinced my 5-year old godsister to wear her hair in an afro on Easter (she's very excited).
Ok…I know I'm still a ..umm…"witness"…Help me sistahs…LOL
I only give information if a person ask me about natural hair. Otherwise I live by, "Do you." You do you and I will do me. : )
I have a feeling that I have been doing this to my mother, who is a serious creamy crack queen. LOL. I plan to make a personal effort to not talk about (or send emails pertaining to) natural hair unless asked. This will be extremely challenging for me because I am so happy to be natural. I WISH someone had been trying to convince me to do so when I was getting my hair relaxed. From this day on, I plan on pulling back and directing my energy toward my own journey.
I've been natural for 7 months. Especially in the first 2-3 months I found myself being over-zealous (some might even say pushy or preachy) about the benefits of being natural. It came from a good place…I felt so happy and liberated, and I wanted others to feel the same way. But I know I was starting to get on people's nerves, so I stopped. I believe actions speak louder than words, so I've decided to lead by example. I know this works, because my sister (who currently straightens and weaves her hair) recently told me that she was inspired by my decision to go natural. I hadn't even tried to recruit her, so it was a nice surprise to hear her say that. Maybe the best way to "recruit" other naturals is to take good care of our natural hair, wear it with pride, and be prepared to intelligently and honestly answer any questions THEY may ask US. Even better, resist the urge to recruit and simply respect the choices others have made for their hair.
My big brother use to hair bully me. He was so passionate about me going natural and embracing who I am. All these women who talk about black men not liking natural hair….NOT MY BROTHER! He only dates naturals. And he wants all the women in his family to be natural. LOL. Now he's working on my mother and sister. Actually we both are……LOL.
Gotta love him.
This is hilarious! I swear my sister and I have "witnessed" about natural hair to my cousin, and now she is going natural! it almost feels like when i first gave my life to Christ, i couldn't stop sharing the good news!
I totally understand! I just want to shout it from the rooftops that I LOVE that I'm natural! I just love my new full healthy head of hair. When I was relaxed I couldn't care less about my limp boring damaged hair. I find myself trying to calm down from showing people the way to becoming natural. It's just that it's so much healthier and beneficial that I just want to tell all my sisters that there is another way. I wish I would have known about being natural years ago I'm only a little over one year in and I now have collar bone length. I just hope to influence someone else but I'm aware not to take it too far and I stop myself from giving too much info. I usually just tell people go in Curly Nikki & youTube. That about sums it up. Then I walk away with a sly knowing smile.
Not sure bullying is the right word. Over enthusiam or persistance, maybe. I wasn't threatening them or heckling them or showing attitude toward them for not seeing "the light", so to speak. I pulled back a while ago when I noticed people's eyes were starting to glaze over. LOL I was new at that point. Now I just wait for other people to broach the subject or express interest before I go into my spiel and even then I'm very careful to give them as much or as little info as they want.