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Transitioning During High School

By January 27th, 202141 Comments

Transitioning During High School
Lydia writes;

Dear Curly Nikki Community,

My twin sister and I love the blog. We check it almost daily! I am very proud to say that we, along with our mother, have finally let go of the perms! April 2011 makes one year without using any chemicals on our hair. My mother is very supportive and I am very grateful for this because I don’t think my transition would be going so smoothly without her help.

One thing that I am not happy about is the negative responses that we (my mother, my sister and me) have received. Some negative responses have come from family members, but many have come form people at school. I feel that high school is an experience that can be beneficial, yet challenging and difficult for some. The desire to feel accepted and liked is strong. When peers are judgmental and rude, it can be very discouraging and make the journey all the more difficult. Feeling that others don’t perceive you as beautiful is a horrible feeling. Besides that, I’m very active in school and extracurricular activities, and I don’t have much time for styling. And as quiet as it’s kept, dealing with curly hair is a bit more time consuming than straight hair.

I would like to know how other high schoolers have dealt with being natural while in school. Did you get positive or negative reactions? How do you respond and what keeps you determined to remain natural? Also, what is your hair care routine?

41 Comments

  • Anonymous says:

    Hi,
    I just graduated from high school and I started transitioning my senior year. i graduated from a private school, mainly black said to say alot of people had negative responses it did affect my self-esteem alittle but websites like these encourage me 2 go on

  • Anonymous says:

    I'm currently 14 yrs. old. I'm going to 9th grade in a few weeks πŸ™‚ I did the big chop June 1, 2011. It's not really a big chop b/c my hair is a little bit past shoulder length. Either way, I did cut ALL of the relaxer off πŸ™‚ So far, I haven't recieved any real negativity about my hair. Reading you guys' comments is like an inspiration to stay natural in high school. Even if someone does tease you about your hair, remember this: YOUR hair will be continuing to grow in the next few years while theirs is breaking off more and more from those harsh chemicals!

  • AdoniJah says:

    when I get worried about what people will think I think about Rosa Acosta when she got her hair cut off and people talked about how she lost her sexiness. I'm going to do my BC this Saturday and to me i think who cares if people say negative things! I'm still going to be cute anyway I shouldn't have to ask for permission to cut my hair by anyone. If they don't like it then thats their issue not mine =). I'm going to be a Sophomore this year in highschool and I'm starting the school year off natural (with my BC) if someone has something to say about my hair I know they wont say it to my face. people never do say anything to your face anyway. I love my natural hair so i dont care what others think! i'm going to rock this cut

  • Anonymous says:

    Hi, I'm a junior in a predominantly white High school and neighborhood. I've been transitioning from a texturizer since December 2010. Most of my friends are white and don't really know what's going on with my hair lol they just want me to 'grow it out'. And my African-American friends are relaxed and idk they've been kind of supportive, if they have negative feelings they're probably keeping it in. I have A LOT of new growth and debating whether or not I should BC over the summer. I'm really scared and nervous to do it, mostly because my senior pics/year is coming up and I want my hair to look nice. I've never had very long hair but I've also never had BC length hair. What do I do?!?!!?!

  • Taylor says:

    Congratulations on your transition! It must be nice to have people going along the journey with you. I, too, have the support of family natural or not, even though my grandma still hollers "ohhh weee!" if I need my locs retwisted.

    I went natural my sophomore year of high school. I had a TWA that lasted from September to January until I permed it after being teased constantly and being asked why I cut my hair. The summer before my senior year (2008) I BC'ed again after getting tired of my hair being half-perm, half-natural. I was tired of asking my family for money to get my hair done and hated going to the shops. My hair was thinning and falling out so enough was enough.

    I also played sports and having to worry about getting my hair done during the season was stressful.

    A few of the negative comments did get me down from time to time but having healthy hair meant more to me than paying people to damage my hair. My mom (who is also natural) told me to tell my haters this: Are you paying for my hair to be done every two weeks? Is this your hair? Why are you worried about what I'm doing? It was hard to blockout the negativity but it didn't take long for me to ignore the insults and crazy looks.

    My regimen (then): I washed my hair every other day and deep conditioned every weekend because my scalp was (and still is) dry. Oiled my scalp everyday.

    My regimen (now): I wash my hair every other week and retwist my locs every 2-4 weeks or when I feel like it. I moisture with water, olive oil, conditioner, and carrot/tea tree oil on my hair and scalp when I feel either are dry.

    Good luck on your journey!

  • Rebecca V. O'Neal says:

    I went natural when I was 14. I didn't even know what "going natural" was and there was ABSOLUTELY no online natural community at the time (this was 2001-2002). Motown Girl was literally the only natural blog I saw for years.

    I honestly just hated going to the shop and getting relaxers, so I stopped when I was old enough to make the decision myself. Lo and behold, I realized my hair was curly.

    I didn't transition for long because the two textures were hard to deal with – so at 15, I big chopped with about 2-3 inches of curly hair. I got some flack for it at school – mainly from boys. Even guys who were my friends AND guys I dated had nick names for my short 'do: Al B Sure, Vanessa Huxtable (was that supposed to be an insult? Her hair was FLY!), and they called my hair a "shag", a "soul glo" – et al.

    Other girls generally were positive about my hair and gave compliments and wondered how I got my hair "like that".

    As far as family, they were all supportive (save one aunt). Since I went natural, four generations of women in my family have gone natural and chosen not to relax their daughters' hair. In order of transition: my younger sister, my aunt, my mom, and my grandmother. My other aunt, the one who was initially unsupportive, is still relaxed and says natural hair isn't for her – but has chosen not to relax her 11 year old daughter's hair – and will let her make her own decisions when the time comes. She's even learned to do braid and twist outs and lets me do bantu knot outs and lots of other styles on my cousin's hair. So while she hasn't embraced it herself, she's a lot more supportive of her daughter – who loves her curls – than she was of me when I went natural. And you should have heeeeeard her comments back then!

    That said, I wished I'd known more at the time about styling and products. Still, SOMEHOW by senior year, my hair was pretty long. Between armpit and shoulder length… I experimented with straightening at a few Egyptian salons, but for the most part kept my hair curly or pressed it at home.

    I'd probably advise, for the sake of ease and vanity, during what can already be an awkward time in any girl's life, to do a long transition and keep some of your length. A big chop can be jarring and a LOT for a teenager to deal with. But I was impulsive and didn't really think before I acted back then. Not to say that I didn't WORK IT or that TWAs aren't fierce! But if I had it to do over again, knowing what I know now, I would not have cut my long hair off in high school.

    Fast forward almost 10 years after my FIRST big chop, I had to cut it all off again a little over three years ago after some bad home bleaching left my hair FRIED. Now I'm back to color free and chemical free bra strap length (when stretched/pressed) naturally curly – and now very healthy – hair and wouldn't trade the experience for anything.

    YOU CAN DO IT and I promise it's worth it. There are so many resources now that make being natural a breeze. Not to say my experience wasn't great, but those first few years were ROUGH!

  • Blaquestarr says:

    Gah! Lost my original long post. Here's a shorter version:

    I have always been natural, and I got the same treatment all through school. K-10th, my hair was always in braids, so my classmates never saw my actual hair until Easter or a couple of days in between me getting it re-braided. In middle school (the lowest circle of HELL for me), I was constantly teased. I was told to get a perm, called bald-headed, nappy-headed, and ugly. All this by girls whose own thin hair was being eaten away by the chemicals they put in it. But I stood my ground. Eventually in 7th grade, I got yarn braids (which look like locs). The criticism went down as now most people were intrigued by my hair and the style. When it was time to take the yarn braids out, people would ask me if they could take a braid out!
    By high school it became my signature style and something that set me apart from the masses. I ended up going to a majority white performing arts school, and the kids there thought it was so cool. Even when I stopped braiding/cornrowing my hair and opted for presses, everyone wanted to touch my hair. Unfortunately, I started depending on presses and came to think that if my hair wasn't straight, then I wasn't straight. This attitude continued all through college.
    But one thing High School gave me that I lost in college was that I was allowed to be me and do what I thought was best for me and my style. No one had to conform in HS, but going to an HBCU was a totally different matter. I felt even more pressured to keep my hair pressed and flowing (even though everyone was "going natural"), and the one time I wore my yarn braids for a semester, my true friends all thought it fit me better. It was everyone else who wanted me to press my hair again, despite the wear and tear it was having on my hair. It wasn't until I moved to New York that I stopped putting any heat on my head and decided to love my curls in all their glory. Then again, NYC is a place where natural styles and natural ladies thrive.
    I think it is awesome that you have doing this so much earlier than me. Transitioning is not just about your hair, but also you growing into yourself and deciding what is best and healthiest for you as a person, despite the fads and crowds. The people who are negative may never separate from the crowd, and if they finally do, you will be 3 steps ahead of them. Ultimately, you can take risk now, especially with your hair styles, as you can't please "them" unless you jump back into their box. You might be the catalyst that changes someone else's world at your school. As the poem "Deepest Fears" expressed, "when we let our light shine, we unconsciously give other permission to do the same."
    It's hard being the trailblazer, but you have a great support system in your family and true friends. In the end, all the others will either envy you or respect you, and the rest will be forgotten.

  • Anonymous says:

    This post couldn't have come at a better time! Just want to say thank you to all ladies commenting right now. This is why I love this blog and it has been such a big help for me! I'm sixteen, in highschool and I am transitioning right now and I hope to bc in the summer so during the summer I can have some time to experiment with styles to find out my staple look. My last perm was Christmas Eve 2009. I have read so many articles on products, ingredients, hair regimens, hairstyles and now the only thing I am working on now is my confidence. I love my natural hair but I'm just worried about if I can handle the obstacles I might face for my decision. The comments have been offering some great advice so again THANK YOU!!!! πŸ˜€

  • Anonymous says:

    i don't have a problem having kinky curly hair, i'm just upset because i THREE different textures in my head (the relaxed ends, the curly back, and the kinky curly front. My friend believes that the front is heat damaged because i kept flat-ironing it to blend in. Big mistake.)
    i'm blessed to have a wonderful family to support me. in fact my sister and my mother are also transitioning. My last perm was on August and i cut my hair in December. (the longest parts of my hair was 4 inches at the time. My sides were so short that my sister had trouble braiding it.)
    -chi3

  • Anonymous says:

    gosh i know what you mean!!! i am currently a junior (senior in august πŸ™‚ and i have been post relaxer for 8 months. YAYY!
    i had shoulder length hair (i started putting perms in the 5th grade. my back hair never grew ever since. so my front and upper middle hair were the longest parts of my hair. my front hair was around 9-10 inches long! imagine how long my back hair would have been if it grew.)
    anyways what inspired me to go natural was when all the white girls and some mixed girls were wearing their hair curly. i was so jealous because they were flaunting hair that i have! (i have my father's hair texture) so the transition began. i had ups and downs. i used to flatiron my natural roots. i got tired of the two textures and begged my mom to take me to the salon to cut my hair. she kept prosponing so i went into the bathroom and chopped it off. i started from the front (dumb decision) and i cut it a lil bit too muchh! but once i started, i had to finish! it was a thursday!! so what was i gonna do??? thank God i have a creative sister πŸ™‚
    she was like what im i gonna do to this hair. [oh and i cut it uneven!! into a mohawk by mistake! and i still had permed ends] so she braided the sides and bantu knot the rest. then we prayed for the best! it was soooo cutteeee!! alot of girls were like i'ma go natural too!
    despite that i still had ups and downs. like alot of girls (supposed to be my friends) were calling me nappy head and one even said put a perm sha! but whatever. i'm gonna keep on with it! and guess what?? my back hair is growing!!!! my hair is shoulder length! i also have henna in my head! so pray that it comes out good! lol
    another thing. my back and middle hair are soooo fine. like it isn't kinky or kinky curly, it is just curly:D but my front hair! it's kinky curly! my sister moved to college so i barely have anyone to help me twist and braid my hair. tears tears :((
    i'm also involved in alot of stuff. (Student Council President, BETA, etc) so i gotta stay on my stuff.
    i'm gonna b so happy after graduation. no more high school bs. so all i can advice you is to keep your head up πŸ˜€
    God be with you πŸ™‚
    -Chi3

  • Anonymous says:

    Hi πŸ™‚ I began my transition as a new 15 (july 28) yr old in Nov. 2009 (during my junior yr). I didn't even know what I was doing; I just knew that I was wearing braids and that I wanted the hair I had as a baby instead of my straight, broken off hair that I had since I was like 5. But anyways towards the end of the school year I stopped wearing braids and my bf was supportive, but others asked me why I took them out. When I visited my family over the summer, my step mom helped me to keep it manageable, but I kept wanting to cut it. However, the males in my family kept hounding me about keeping my hair long. So, I decided to keep it that way for a while longer. Until one day in july after asking my mom, (not too long before my birthday) I just got really emotional and cut the straight ends off of the back of my hair lol(too afraid to cut the front just yet, and it was easy to hide this way). I felt so lifted and free. But, I was too afraid to tell anyone, because I didn't want to get scolded by my family members. My bf just said "As long as you know how to do it then cut it if you want. I'll still love you even if you wore an afro." I had a pretty good time twisting the back and wearing a bun. For school I got braids again, but only so that it could grow. In december, I was so eager to see how my hair had grew after a year and a month, that I took my hair down, cut the rest of the straight ends and wore a puff lol. But, I was still scared so I wanted my hair redone before the end of winter break. That didn't happen; my mom said no basically and I went around school with a puff feeling embarassed at first. Some people liked it, some gave negative comments, and a lot of people wanted to touch it. And, after a while I got used to it to. My bf who became my bestfriend a few months before (we broke up b/c didn't really have a lot of time with eachother) still supported me and was the main one wanting to touch my hair (let him finally touch it thursday and he loved it lol). I shrugged off the negative comments from others and just blocked them out with the songs "I Am Not My Hair" and "Beautiful" by India Arie. Those songs were all I needed if I started to feel down, because they told me that it's what's on the inside that makes me beautiful. Right now I'm about to get some kinky twists; that way I can allow my hair to rest and grow while still expressing the beauty of natural hair.

  • Marilyn says:

    Hey! I am a twin myself and we started transitioning last year. It was a little hard @ first when people couldn't understand what we were doing to our hair. We did our big chop last month and actually got many good responses. We even had a teacher and a few students to go ahead and do the same thing.here were still some that couldn't get why we cut our "Long" hair. It wasn't even long to begin with. My hair shaved in the back in 8th Grade (not my decision & traumatizing). I still got perms afterward, which stunt my growth. Overall, it hasn't been bad. I am a month natural and loving it. My routine is usually wetting my hair before I leave and adding the Shea Moisture Curl Enhancer Smoothie (moisturize and softens my hair). Pique it and go.

  • Anonymous says:

    Heyy everyone was a natural most of my life but then my freshman year of high school I got a texturizer. I loved all the compliments I got but I wasn't taking care of it, so then my sophomore year I got a perm. Worst EXPERIENCE EVER OMG MY SCALP FLAKED AND I HATED THE GROSS SMELL. Eventually my hairbroke . TEAR :(. I got braids and kept cutting my split ends. Fast foreward two years later and I haven't straightened my hair since december but more importantly its HEALTHY. As for rude comments I experience them more from the black community but everyone else but it is what it is . I love my hair and that is all that matters .

  • Camille Janae says:

    I did the big chop in the middle of my senior year of high school. I previously had a texturizer. I only transitioned for about three months or so, and got it all chopped off on Dec. 30, 2008! It was extremely short, but I instantly loved it. I got mostly positive feedback from friends and family. At the same time, I also got some funny looks from people, but no one ever insulted me about my hair to my face. I strongly believe the key is confidence. If you walk like you're proud of the way you look, people have a harder time putting you down. The online natural hair community was a great help with encouragement and love, so stay connected to it. I am currently a second year college student, and just recently started my loc journey. Just know that it gets better. My hair routine has always been pretty simple. I usually wash and condition about once a week, deep condition every other week, and moisturize as needed. My routine has slightly changed now that I'm starting locs, but for the most part it has remained the same. I hope this helps! Peace and blessings.

  • Anonymous says:

    Lydia I know you personally your hair is banginnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

  • Elan says:

    I feel for you so much! I am a lifelong natural that lives in the rainy NW, so having straight hair without a perm is near to impossible. And it was never worth it to deal the burns from the pressin' comb and maintenance. My mom had me at 40 and learned that she needed glasses for her declining vision after a burn incident while pressin' my hair:( Did I mention that she was also cooking dinner, talking on the phone and watching tv while doing my hair. She was a multi-tasker.

    I was constantly bullied for my "nappy" hair. I remember getting my hair pressed for the first time in the 3rd grade and being teased the second I stepped into class. The called me "Umbrella head" because I had a part down middle and bumped all the way around. My mom is old school:) On top of getting teased my neck hurt from holding my head perfectly still all day!
    Fast forward to my senior year…I was pretty much immune. Anything except for perm straight or braids was unexceptionable. I was a 3rd year varsity cheerleader and my hair was still of topic, not that it didn't look good,in it permanent bun or ponytail:) One week before the seniors get out of school the most popular kids put of of list. Instead of best dressed, class clown, etc…the was "Most f****d up hair!" And guess who took the crown?

    High schoolis brutual and unfortunatly Our people have been subjected to so many oppressions, that we dont relize our strength and uniqueness is on our head:)
    I am 26 and love my hair. When I wear my hair natural I have to tell the men to grab a spot in the line:) And each time I get a bit frustrated I look at my friends who have receding hairlines and bald spots to bring my self back to the reason why I will never put chemicals on my hair.

    Good luck in school. You should have a natural hair care workshop to show the girls in your school the possibilities and to inspire. Show them pics of natural celebs, how to use natural products (ie. olive oils, aloe gel), and do a hair craft such as flower headbands. Maybe a natural hair stylist will even volunteer some time and knowledge.

  • arnold says:

    I started transitioning in the summer before my junior year and overall everyone loves my hair. They it matches my personality better. I go to predominately white school so most people don't know what "going natural" is. But i think I'm only transitioning because I'm in high school and i don't want to big chop and hear the negativity. I know I'm going to big chop the summer after I graduate to start new. I will have transitioned for about two years at that time and i think it will be long enough for me to do things with. Now I just do wash n goes.

  • Adrianna says:

    I began transitioning my sophomore year, but I straightened my hair A LOT, so people never saw my roots or anything. I BC'd the summer before my junior year, and I still used a lot of heat on my hair, so, my curls were not at their curly best. If that makes sense? Haha. But yeah. My junior year, I had NO idea how to work my hair. I just tried every curly hair product I could. It was a real trial and error process for me. But during my junior year, I'd often get a, "Dri, you're so pretty with your hair straight!" And to be honest, for a long time, I felt like I was prettier with my hair straight and I didn't want to wear my hair curly. I actually thought about getting another relaxer. But, last summer, I cut off all of my straight ends (the heat damage to my hair was BANANAS!) and I rocked the curls alllll summmerrrrr. It was beautimus πŸ™‚

    So, I have fallen in love with my curls. Before, I just did a lot of wash n gos, but that's not very good for my curls, because my curls knot up very easily, and it takes forever for my hair to dry – which is bad in the winter. Now, I condition my hair once or twice a week – depending on how I feel, and I twist it every night. I'm a senior in high school, so we can't wear scarves to school. But before I twist, I detangle my hair. I love love love LOVE Curls products and Shea Moisture. They're the best.

    I still straighten my hair, but not a lot. I usually straighten it once a month, and I go to the salon and get it done. This year, I've gotten a lot of raggedy comments from people, like boys will "notice me" or whatever, when I have my hair straight. People will be like, "Oh, Dri, you actually did something to your hair!" Yeahhh, whatever. But I have a strong support system with my mom. She loves my hair, and she's willing to help me try anything on it. Although this year, I have gotten a lot of comments on my curl texture.

    The thing about it is to not let it get to you. People always have an opinion about SOMETHING. Even when it has nothing to do with them. Do you!

    I plan on trying henna this weekend, so we'll see how that goes!

  • Anonymous says:

    I'm a junior right now in High School, and I've been transitioning since late July '10. I actually haven't encountered any problems with any type of negative comments from people at my school being that I go to a predominantly Latino school, and honestly, they don't really have a clue of what's going on with my hair, but they love it! A majority of them have actually been coming up to me and asking me if I could do their how like how I do mine. It's shocking to me because I wasn't expecting such positivity and acceptance; nevertheless, I'm very grateful because it has made me somewhat at ease about my hair.

  • Anonymous says:

    You are lucky have already have great support team from your mom and sister who are transitioning with you!

  • Anonymous says:

    sorry. i meant i co wash when my wash n go turns into a wash and no, and i use eco styler. and clarify when necessat

  • Anonymous says:

    oh my gosh girl, its so sad but usually our african american sisters are the first ones to put us down instead of being uplifting. especially if you don't have "good hair". when people asked me why i cut my hair, i tell the becuase its my hair. i just keep my head up and imagine myself growing a nice size coily/curly shrunken fro and then straighening it one day and swinging my hair in all my hatas faces LOL. right now i just focus on deep conditioing and moisturizing since i only have a twa. wash and goes are a hit or miss for me. sometimes my curls are poppin and somsetimes not so much. i'm wayy to lazy to shingle since its hard to grab onto my short hair, so that has to wait for a while. but basically i shampoo detangle and deep condition once a week. co wash during the week when my hair is dry or when my wash n when i feel necessary. i use eco styler for a go has turn into a wash and no lol. and clarify gel. and whatever moisturizer i have. just remember, that just because you are natural does not mean you have to stop using all of your products from your relaxed days. moisturizers aren't texture certified, if it worked before it might work again. if you need low maintencance styling try, twists/braids during the week and a braid out on the weekend. if you have shorter hair, try to use enough gel or product on you hair to make it hard but not flaky, that way your curls will last longer and u can refresh with water. if your hairs long try pineappling or braiding. HTH =)

  • Demetra says:

    I transitioned during my freshman year and it was tough. My hair was so dry and resembled brillo pad so I took to getting it braided. One day I wore it in a ponytail because my hair braider was sick and it was the worst day ever!. People called me a nappy headed skank and told me I needed some just for me for the mess on my head. I went home crying that day but when I finished, my resolve to go natural was strengthened. I refused to allow my ignorant peers to keep me from embracing my hair.

    Now I'm a junior and I've been natural for 15 months. I use all natural products and my hair thanks me for it. It's soft and actually retaining length. Loads of girls ask me for advice on how to transition and I've just finally gotten the hang of things.

  • Anonymous says:

    HI! I began transitioning during my junior year of high school and am now a senior. I BC'd on march 26 of this year. When I first started going natural, a lot of people in my school did not even know what "going natural" was or how u even do it. LOL. But, being in a school where "weave" is live and direct everyday, seeing something different was something that a lot of people embraced. I was really surprised to learn that a lot of the girls in my school, who wore weave all the time, were actually covering heads of natural hair. CRAZY, Right?? Anyways, now that I am fully natural, most people are really intrigued and interested by it. They have also been very supportive of my journey,( my mother is transitioning to go natural now). My boyfriend has also been quite supportive but, my dad is always throwing negative comments at me and my mom about our hair, and that hurts.

    My regimen consists of:
    Shampoo, deep conditioning, detangling, and styling my hair every other week. But on between weeks, I co-wash, deep condition, detangle, and style. I also do a protein treatment about every 5 weeks.

  • Anonymous says:

    Well when i transitioned you couldnt really tell because i would have my hair straightened, but everytime someone would ask if i had a relaxer i was proud to say that my hair was natural πŸ™‚

  • Anonymous says:

    I'm a sophomore in high school and I'm transitioning. As far as negative feedback goes, I'm really only getting it from my family (then again, there are a lot of people I know who won't like the decision once I mention it to them).

    My school peers are the least of my problems since I go to an arts school. I even have a few friends saying I should chop it all off already! I've been transitioning for five months and I'm still not sure when I'm gonna do the BC. I'm having trouble deciding whether or not I'm ready for it.

  • Alex says:

    I feel your pain. I transitioned my senior year of high school, but I didn't wear my hair out at the time. I found that braids were a super easy way to go, as far as transitioning. I did pixie braids, got them redone about every 2 months (my hair started growing so fast, it was crazy!) and lightly shampooed and conditioned them.

    By the time I was done with the braids, I had enough hair to go straight to twist outs. very basic ones, using just Herbal Essences Totally Twisted as my conditioner/leave in and experimenting with different hair butters to seal the ends. Now I use some basic shea butter.

    The simplest and most true thing I can say is learn to ignore them. Live in your own head. A great deal of the negativity you probably feel coming from other people is probably stemming from your thoughts about what is going on in their minds. Just ignore them. Don't waste time trying to get into their heads and trying to figure out why they feel that way. It's a wasted effort, trust me.

    As far as people saying things aloud, that is their problem, not yours. Their comments, their state of mind, their negativity. Don't let it enter your mind set. YOU know what makes you look and feel good, so why listen? Just nod and smile, maybe say that you appreciate their opinion, but don't pay them much attention.

    It will be worth it, trust me, And we curly girls are always here to help, the internet is full of us. πŸ˜€

  • Imani says:

    I have never had a relaxer, but I am sixteen and a junior and I decided to stop straightening my hair May 25, 2010. The first day I did a wash and go, and my hair looked a MESS! I wanted to curl into a ball.
    People talked about me, but most of my friends kept my mouth shut. When I started to do twist outs and get a regimen, people loved it. My school is predominantly Jewish, and it's an arts school, so people were not completely shocked with my natural texture.
    I became obsessed with my hair, and people started to identify me with it.
    Just Wednesday I got my hair straightened for the first time in a year, and I was a little more offended by some people's response. I had a friend who acted like my hair was so unruly that getting it straightened was a gift!
    I think that once you start to love you curls, everyone else will. It may take a few months, but it will happen and people will see the confidence shine from within you.

  • Anonymous says:

    i started transitioning right before my freshman year in high school. I can't say i really got any negative comments. But i definitely get the "WOW YOU HAIR IS SO COOL. ZOMG HOW DO YOU DO THAT?" AND i'm just like "it's just the way my hair grows out my head"*kanye shrugs* I'm a sophomore now and i started locing in November, so i'm excited =) best of luck on your natural hair journey =)

  • Anonymous says:

    Honey look! I'm seventeen years old and a junior in high school.I big chopped March 23,2011 and of course there were people who had something to say. wether it was good or bad i just did not care. Even people that i thought were my associates/"friends" would say something behind my back and then try and talk to me. SERIOUSLY??? NO! LOL not on my time. Anywho…you just gotta learn to build that wall and not care about what other people think because honey you are not doing anything to impress them you're doing it for yourself. People will talk about you until the day you die, but once you mature and learn that what most people think isn't really relevant you'll be just fine. remember..CONFIDENCE IS KEY! Good luck Love πŸ™‚

  • Kenya says:

    It must be really fun transitioning with your mom and sister(:

    I began transitioning March 2009 (towards the end of my freshman year) and ended February of 2010. I recently celebrated my first year being all natural last February as a junior(:

    I transitioned to natural while also being an athlete, participating in two extracurricular clubs, and taking AP/Gifted classes so there was rarely any time for me to do me hair, lol. I survived the 11 month transition with 2 go-to hairstyles and 2 month micro twists (during basketball season). My go-to hairstyles were 1) a wet low bun with a flat twist going across half the front of my head AND 2) a flat-twist out that consisted of about 12 flat twists [when I had the time]. I would keep my perm ends twisted with bobby pins used as barettes, but a healthier option would be to set them on perm rods.

    My hair care regimine was 1) detangle with Herbal Essences Hello Hydration Conditioner 1X a wk before getting in the shower to wash 2) wash with HEHH Shampoo [however it was very drying.. I am now cowash weekly] 3) Deep Condition with Queen Helene's Cholesteral Conditioner 4) Style with Canatu Shea Butter Leave In and Eco Styler Gel.

    Those products weren't great for my hair but I was learning so I had to make do(:

  • Elizabeth says:

    girllll i know exactly what you are talking about.

    I'm a sophmore in a private 85% white school so the responses I get from people are all over the spectrum.
    I'm proud to say that I've been natural my entire life but not very proud to say that I never really took an interest in my hair until around the eighth grade. Back then my only style would be two strand twists and my hair was BSL. Then I had a bad encounter at a salon (damn Dominicans) and my hair went from BSL to barely even touching my chin. When I took my hair into my own hands, i kept up the two strand twists and my hair flourished again, but with high school on the way I was looking for a new look.

    So in my second semester of my freshman year I began to experiment with wash n gos (epic fail at first) but then I began to get the hang of it. However, my first day of walking into school my my fly wash and go, I was greeted by the ignorance of my peers with the phrase "Good morning sister!" (and the fool had his fist in the air too **side eye**) I chose not to even give him the time of day and kept it moving. Now with proper care, my hair is only about an inch away from BSL again and my staple style is either a dry or wet set twist out. (I like dry sets better because then my fro is sooooo big). Then I dress it up with clips, bows, headbands or pull it up into a puff.

    As for the rest of my peers, all my other friends are natural but opt to go to the salon to get it professionally braided or pressed but they all love my fro. As for the white people, I get the usual "OMG your hair is so soft and curly" or "How did you get it this way" or "Wow its so cool". But at the end of the day, its all about how you feel and how you wanna rock your do. I've noticed that I get the most compliments on days where I feel my hair looks a HOT MESS. LOL. But just go with the flow

    Hair Regimen: (3c/4a)
    Wash every week and a half-two weeks with Garnier Fructis Triple Nutrition shampoo, Aussie Moist Conditioner, and Garnier Fructis 3 minute deep conditioner. (I detangle with Aussie Moist and Deep condition for about 15-20 mins)

    Styling Products: Shea Moisture Curl Defining Cream as a leave-in and Garnier Fructis curl sculpting cream-gel (minimal amounts as it gets flaky!)

    Retwist at night and sleep on a satin head scarf.

    In between washes:
    Shea Moisture Curl Defining Cream on ends, detangle with a wide tooth comb and either twist or braid for a super-soft, super-defined, super-big, super fly fro!

  • Ana says:

    I am sophomore in high school and a life long natural. I got used to being the only natural in the room very early on, but with natural hair moment things have been changing. sadly still I find that I get more positive comments from white people as apposed to blacks. when I have had my hair pressed in the passed I have always gotten the "your hair is that long?!?" response. I meet lots of girls and women who don't know alot about tightly coiled hair thats why I started my blog to reach out to new and or young naturals(http://puellaenaturalioasis.blogspot.com/) I love your web site Curly Nikki! your site and countless other blogs and youtube channels helped me soooooo much when I started doing my own hair (when my stopped doing my hair).
    My hair routine is very simple. I wash once every week or so and ether two strand twist, flat twist, or twisted bantu knot out when I wear my hair out. I am a very big believer in low heat and protective styling. I hope more people will learn about how versatile natural truly is.

    http://puellaenaturalioasis.blogspot.com/

  • marissa says:

    Hii. I just bc'd and I am a junior in high school right now. I'm actually in class as I write this on my phone. (Don't worry we have free time! Lol.) Anyway, from a lot of people (usually non-black) I got the whole I love your new look thing. From many black girls I got the "uhh…why'd you cut your hair?" Guys didn't care either way. My boyfriend has been very supportive. Anyway, I just shake off the haters and keep on moving to my goal of big fabulous hair. Gotta get used to the fact that not everyone will accept your choices

  • Anonymous says:

    I am 15 and a sophomore in high school. I got my first relaxer despite my mother's warning in March '08 i began transitioning in Dec. '08 from 8th grade to 9th grade (18 months total.) The key to remaining natural is to remain confident and realize that you are going natural for yourself and not for others. It's important to look past the negativity and stay positive. Online natural communities can help with styling tips and support. I haven't gotten much negativity but if I do I would say that I could care less of what others think which is important. Best of luck to you.

  • Anonymous says:

    I got my last relaxer before i turned 15 and i bc'd a month before i turned 16. some people responded well to my twa and others were downright hateful. but those people were always mean, they just had something new to tease me about.

  • Anonymous says:

    I understand that rude people can be difficult to deal with, but your support system will make it easier. This online community will help well. I only relaxed my hair (against my poor mother's wishes)for a few years before deciding to stop. I had just graduated high school, and my twin sister and another friend, and shortly thereafter my mom and older sis joined us. I never had to face really ignorant comments but it wouldn't have mattered. I loved my hair before the perm, and appreciated it even more afterwards. Our attitude can affect us as well as others and the way they perceive us. I am sure you are confident in your decision and that is all that matters. Are you asking any of these naysayers to help you with hairstyling or asking them for their input or advice? If the answer is "no" then they have nothing to add to your life. You can't change their minds necessarily, but you can control how you will react to and how you will allow their negativity to affect you. You will probably improve your view of your curly hair if you realize the many benefits of having your God-given hair in its natural state. It's not necessarily more difficult. You are probably dealing with two different textures, which is not ideal so that may account for some of the issue. I know that perception is relative, but I found my natural curls MUCH easier to contend with than relaxed hair. It wasn't NATURAL (and, I mean that in every sense of the word! Ha!). I only relaxed my hair from 6th to the 11th grade. It was much easier to go back to my wash n' go style (even though I didn't call it that some 14 yrs ago!). I was free from waking up and having to pull out the curling iron and/or flat iron to straighten my hair. And, think about it: most women who have straight(er) hair deal with the same issues. They have to use methods to put curls in their hair AND they have to use flat irons (many of them) to get their hair board straight. Curly-haired girls, on the other hand may choose a style that lasts them for an entire week, month or longer. I cannot say how nice it is to put in a little time on a Sunday night and not really worry about my hair until the next week! I really love the extra snooze time in the mornings! I agree with Mariah (11:31a) in that she found a staple style and stuck to it. Especially will this help while you're busy with high school and extracurricular activities! Best to you!!!

  • Tia says:

    Im a senior in high school and have been transitioning from a texturizer for 3 months now. I have had mostly positive feedback from my peers. But negative remarks are ALWAYS there. Since I had been mentaly preparing myself to go natural, I didn't care what negative comments were given (family definitely gave them). What helps me through transitioning even now, is knowing that I love my hair despite what others may say. Someone is always going to give you some type of negative feedback, you just can't store it in. As for styles, I like varies updos. My signature is the updo done by TiaShauntee: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=29EzIqIvWJA
    I also where braided hair extensions in singles. Since Ive been really busy this year, extension kinky twsts have been my best friend.

  • Anonymous says:

    Here is a blog that may help: (http://curlyandyoung.blogspot.com/)

  • Unknown says:

    I transitioned during my junior and senior year of highschool (which was only last year). I went to a majority white school and I was kinda self conscious about how to wear my hair. I began with cornrow outs that my mother did for me ( She would braid them the night before with IC gel and I would undo them in the morning). Those would last a good week. The summer in between junior and senior year I cut my hair to shoulder length (It was BSL then). What can I say I was anxious! Now with a shorter length I experimented with new styles and I began with a bantu knot out. (I wanted to try doing styles that I could do on my own so I could prepare myself for college).I did it on a sunday and I wore it the next monday and lemme tell you chile I was sooo scared! LOL. I didn't know what people would say because I came in with a lot shorter very curly ringlet style. But…turns out people loved it! Even my drama teacher said he liked it and he rarely makes small talk. I was soo happy that it became my staple all senior year. πŸ™‚ Looking back I wouldn't have been so worried and I think I would have even BC'd! Good luck girls!Try to find a staple that you love and most of all keep your head up and remember high school is only a short time and then you get the hell up out of there! lol πŸ™‚ Plus it feels good being able to transition as soon as you can.

  • The Purse-a-holic says:

    Would have loved to have had a resource like this back in HS when I was scared of being natural πŸ™‚

    Confessions of a Purse-a-holic
    www.girlsnextbestfriend.com

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