I used to walk around with a victim mentality, waiting for life to disappoint me. Everytime something went wrong on the outside, I went wrong on the inside. My mood was easily affected and if something rubbed me the wrong way, it could easily trigger me to slide into a depression. Sound familiar at all?
If so, I encourage you to acknowledge your triggers – the things that upset, anger and sadden you. By exploring our shadows, we can make peace with them.
Here’s my personal example:
One of my triggers is feeling a little bit (or a lot) down when I hear about someone else achieving something that I want to achieve. (That was tough to admit!) Especially, if the person is close to me in age and circumstances. I ask myself, if such and such did it, how come I haven’t done it yet? *enter self-pity and self-defeating thoughts* Then, to punish myself further, I’d feel guilty for having these feelings/thoughts in the first place and I’d feel like a bad person. *enter self-loathing and sadness*
I know this trigger very well, and it no longer has the power over me that it used to. Instead of wallowing in self-pity, I use the emotions as fuel to continue on my own path. This shift in perception comes from understanding that things are not always what they seem. Why should I be distracted by romanticizing someone else’s life, when I have my own life to live and lessons to learn? Sure, I still feel unpretty emotions like envy. But now I know how to interpret the emotions. I’m not a bad person who doesn’t want to see others do well. On the contrary, I love to see others succeed; I just don’t want to be left behind. The negative feelings come from my insecurity telling me that I can’t keep up.
I use the following affirmations to get my mind right when I feel insecure feelings like jealousy and envy bubbling up:
* I am worthy, capable, and destined to make a difference in the world.
* Everyone’s path is different. I can never miss out on what is meant for me.
* I must set my own pace and I only need to keep up with myself.
* There is more than enough love and abundance to go around.
* I’m calm and centered and on the right track. All I have to do is keep stepping.
It’s time for some self-reflection. When you have a moment, pull out your journal and make a list of your triggers. Consider why these things steal your joy and how you can manage them differently in the future. Create a list of affirmations to combat those negative feelings. The goal is not to be devoid of emotion, but to understand your emotions so that they can’t mislead you.