I used to walk around with a victim mentality, waiting for life to disappoint me. Everytime something went wrong on the outside, I went wrong on the inside. My mood was easily affected and if something rubbed me the wrong way, it could easily trigger me to slide into a depression. Sound familiar at all?

If so, I encourage you to acknowledge your triggers – the things that upset, anger and sadden you. By exploring our shadows, we can make peace with them.

Here’s my personal example:

One of my triggers is feeling a little bit (or a lot) down when I hear about someone else achieving something that I want to achieve. (That was tough to admit!) Especially, if the person is close to me in age and circumstances. I ask myself, if such and such did it, how come I haven’t done it yet? *enter self-pity and self-defeating thoughts* Then, to punish myself further, I’d feel guilty for having these feelings/thoughts in the first place and I’d feel like a bad person. *enter self-loathing and sadness*

I know this trigger very well, and it no longer has the power over me that it used to. Instead of wallowing in self-pity, I use the emotions as fuel to continue on my own path. This shift in perception comes from understanding that things are not always what they seem. Why should I be distracted by romanticizing someone else’s life, when I have my own life to live and lessons to learn? Sure, I still feel unpretty emotions like envy. But now I know how to interpret the emotions. I’m not a bad person who doesn’t want to see others do well. On the contrary, I love to see others succeed; I just don’t want to be left behind. The negative feelings come from my insecurity telling me that I can’t keep up.

I use the following affirmations to get my mind right when I feel insecure feelings like jealousy and envy bubbling up:

* I am worthy, capable, and destined to make a difference in the world.
* Everyone’s path is different. I can never miss out on what is meant for me.
* I must set my own pace and I only need to keep up with myself.
* There is more than enough love and abundance to go around.
* I’m calm and centered and on the right track. All I have to do is keep stepping.

Your Turn:

It’s time for some self-reflection. When you have a moment, pull out your journal and make a list of your triggers. Consider why these things steal your joy and how you can manage them differently in the future. Create a list of affirmations to combat those negative feelings. The goal is not to be devoid of emotion, but to understand your emotions so that they can’t mislead you.

Share your insights with us in the comments!