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Curly Nikki

He’s So In to You!- Men and Natural Hair

By January 27th, 202164 Comments

He's So In to You!- Men and Natural Hair
A friend and I were discussing what men think of women with natural hair. He loves it- but admits that he knows many black men that don’t feel the same.

Ladies, what has been your experience with men, specifically black men, since going natural? Have you found that they are more or less attracted to women with natural hair?

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64 Comments

  • Rockurnatural says:

    I've been natural for about 5 years and was very much supported by my husband. I BC'd after 12 yrs of the creamy crack and haven't looked back! I have to say that it is absolutely the best thing I've done for my hair. So, funny hubby story: he says one day, "you know how when girls fight they always go for the hair first? Well, if you were ever in a fight, I think I would have to jump in cause ain't nobody gonna be messin up ya hair!" HILARIOUS! But this just goes to show that there are men who LOVE natural and know a good thing when they see it πŸ˜‰

  • Kaleigh says:

    I'm 24, and I have been natural since 2006 after I got over my brief relaxer phase. At 18 I started wearing my hair in twists, and have largely kept it that way in different styles ever since. For the most part the reaction to my look is very positive. I have had men of all races comment on my hair and they are very positive. Except for one friend of mine who continually asks me when I'm going to let my hair loc like his. Another asks me when I'm going to relax it because it's so long.

    When it comes to relationships it's been positive once a little education is given. It would seem some men have seen relaxed hair and weaves so much that they actually think that's our natural hair state! I have gotten the best reactions from men of other races though. One ex-boyfriend who is white always told me that one of the first things that attracted him to me was my natural hair. He loved to run his fingers through and play with my twists.

    I've noticed that the most of the negative comments I get are from black men my age who don't have locs. Sometimes, but very rarely black women my age who wear a lot of weaves and relax their hair will make some off comments as well.

  • Gizzle says:

    29, living in Spain for year. I've been natural for about 9 years, so I started in college. Since this was before the "Movement" was in full swing, I was sorta on my own and did whatever. It helped (or hurt) that I was in FL/GA and was taking swimming lessons etc so I ended up doing lots of wash and Go. Had it blond for a year before it was drying and damaging my hair too much, so I BC'ed again. I've had many bad hair days when I looked like a Dragon Ball Z. I usually BC once a year once it gets too long for me to be bothered. When its TWA, many people think I'm mixed. Whatev.

    Anyway, men.
    1. College: Not too much a problem with black men, that was all that really approached me in college. I figured if they didn't like it, they wouldn't approach and when I was there I had enough male attention that I didn't notice too much of a change.
    2. Went out west for grad school, that's when the non-black men came out of the woodwork.
    3. Lived in Atlanta, its like natural hair mecca so the men there aren't as shocked or surprised by it. Mostly still black men who approach me in ATL. Although at Georgia Tech's campus there's been a mix. Have more guys in ATL tell me it's their preference to date natural girls.
    4. Overseas: In Europe it's the talk of the town and the guys here break their necks when I have the afro in full soul glow glory. I wear it out in twists (to work) and the Spaniards compliment me often, many people are just curious and amazed at the different styles I can do. I sometimes get comments of "but your hair must be so hard to do?" and I'm like, "No, not really" (unless we're talking mini-twists).
    5. Latin America/Caribbean: Jamaica/Costa Rica/Brazil were fine, lots of compliments and men trying to holla. Panama and Dominican Republic, less so, but I still got it in cause I'd stumble across boys who were into me and "my look" I guess. πŸ˜‰

  • Anonymous says:

    I am 20 years old and this is my 3rd BC and i have been natural this time for almost 2 months. I get very few compliments from black guys but more from guys of other races. I think apart of it is just that some guys, more than others, are intimidated by a young black woman who is confident in her natural state and not influenced by society. #ilovebeingnatural! πŸ™‚ and I applaud those women black white spanish etc who embrace it as well!

  • taylor says:

    I've been natural for about a while, but I recently stopped straightening my hair. I'm fifteen, and it's interesting to see guys my age react to my hair. Most people(guys included) love it, but I happen to know that two guys who for sure had crushes on me(not so subtle) are not as attentive to me as before. In fact, one used to talk to me all the time, and now he doesn't even say hi. It's not just high school. Coincidence? Maybe. Honestly, I didn't like these guys, so I guess it's no loss.

  • nikki says:

    I've been natural for about 9 years. Very few negative comments. I live in Oakland, where a large number of women are natural. Men of all ages and races LOVE it. I think it depends on what city you are in. It may not go over well in some places. But I know for sure that men love a beautiful woman! Especially if the women in question is confident in her own beauty.

  • Anonymous says:

    ^^ please excuse the mix match and repeats in my sentences. hopefully you can read around it, and understand.

  • Anonymous says:

    I'm 18 and have been natural, for 1 yr 3 months.
    I am I attend an art school, and there are mostly and there is a small percentage of black men there, but they Are the type you would want to meet.
    I get a lot of compliments from men in my age rage and up. All races of men seem to like it, but i would say it is because men just like attractive women, so if you look lovely to them, then well, you could walk walk around with bed head hair and still get compliments. (I do).
    I'm currently in a relationship with my boyfriend who is Italian/brazilian, and he likes my hair. he always compliments it.
    My hair is wavy with spirals, but at the same time it is still kinky, but it's soft.
    I will say this though, when I had cut all of my hair off at 16, My mom hated, although, since i was confident, and good looking anyway, i still got compliment, everywhere I went. My mom loves my hair now, and so does my family. My mom always mentions how my hair is mostly similar to her sisters and her mothers hair, as well as my father. my aunt and grandmother have loose wavy hair with a little curl to it, and it is extremely soft, and down they're backs. My father has straight wavy hair, when he grows it out, it is a big mass of waves and silk curls. where as my mother has relaxed hair, my sister does as well but it's long because she relaxes it every two mothers, but it is very very kinky. my mother jokes about her hair constantly, about it being nappy, and how my sister has her fathers hair. But the women in my family tend to have wavy loose curled hair, some relax some don't. I would say it is the length factor when it comes to hair and men, But you cannot always blame the man for being so ignorant, blame his surroundings, as well, and question how he may have been raised. I get hateful comments from Black women, and good comments from men, who usually ask what ethnicity I am. Not just because of my hair but because of how my hair and facial features go with my Brown skin. Small Almond shaped eyes, Button nose, full bow shaped lips, and wavy curly kinks, are to die for. Maybe i'm, just conceited. lol
    if you are attractive men will like you, and women will as well, either that or be jealous. hah. Remember, you only want to attract the Good men anyway, why care what the arrogant ones are interested in anyway.

  • ChicaRizada94 says:

    I'm 17 as well. My school is also teeny (less than 300 high schoolers), but the guys there (most of them are white) can't stop staring at my hair. I also go to a community college (7,000+ students, so more guy options there) part-time, and from my experience, most of the positive comments, looks, etc. come from guys that are Asian, Latino, Native American, white, African/Caribbean, etc. I've gotten countless negative reactions from American Black men. The ones at my college gravitate towards white, Asian and Latina girls with waist-length, bone straight hair. I have a TWA, so the issue might be length. But, I live in an area where 70% of the population is Latino, and I always get positive attention from them (I've got a thing for Latin guys, so I don't mind in the least). Recently, I was at my favorite sub place, and the black guy taking my order gave me this disgusted look when he saw me, while the white guy at the register was practically drooling over my hair & wouldn't stop flirting with me.

  • Anonymous says:

    I don't know why, but I feel the urge to comment. I am 17, blasian (half Filipina/half black) and completely inexperienced in the world of guys (sad I know). That doesn't mean the guys aren't looking though~
    I go to a small school.. like 700 people and that's 6th-12th grade.. so like 100 people per grade… (not a private school… it's a fine arts school that you have to audition into though…) so there are not a lot of options for guys.. and you know, it's a small school. I know basically know all the guys really well.. and while I love the guys at school, they just don't do it for me… whaaaa so off topic anyways-

    But yes, I get a lot of attention from guys for my natural hair. All races of guys love my hair.
    I just naturally have more guy friends that are not black, and they love my hair. There's this one white guy, and he loves touching my hair. No matter what style and he's like "it's so bouncy~"

    People love my afro. Though one time I was walking with an Asian guy friend and this man in like his 40s came up (with his wife) and was like "is it real?", I feel like his wife glared at me… Then after we walked away, my friend was like "*scoff* is it real" and I just guess no one showed him like.. all the fake hair in the world …
    Oh! and I was ice skating with my friends, wearing an afro, and the guy at the counter (he was white) was like "you're afro made my day" it was really sweet πŸ™‚ he said there just aren't enough afros around anymore.

    Honestly though, I've gotten more comfortable with my hair… I had my hair permed for 3 years (was natural up until 6th and stopped perming at 9th grade). My problem with my hair was that.. I just wished that I had my mother's hair. Straight.. she's the Asian parent. Or at least had the perfect ringlets other mixed kids had. Even so, within the last year or so.. I've just loved my hair more. African hair can so much. I mean my hair is pretty managable but it's really think.. so hours of frustration made me curse genetics… but I'm happy with my hair, I've been wearing my hair just big and curly recently (kind of a curly fro) and everyone just loves it.

  • Gwynnie says:

    I just started wearing my natural hair out. I have worn it in a bun on the top of my head or a pony in the back. I discovered breakage at my temples so I decided to start wearing it in some of the protective styles while it gets healthy. Anyway. I have never been hit on so much in my life! I got my share of attention before but now…my goodness. Men of all races love natural hair. But I think you have to first love yourself and rock it!

  • Anonymous says:

    My boyfriend actually encouraged me to go natural. He LOVES my natural hair and hates that I pull it back in a ponytail most of the time. I used to get it straightened but that became pricey and too risky (heat damage). I hate that he doesn't realize, and can't seem to realize that, curly/wavy hair takes patience. I wash & go all the time, but really am running out of patience with it. I know that I will never perm again after being natural since 2006 and I think he would be more mad at me than I would at myself if I did perm again. I know it's just a phase and I'll snap out of soon.

    Also, I don't like wearing my hair down because most of the time people think I have a curl kit or something and they ask me things like "what curl products do you use". ;-|

    Now, other men of course like it, but I get weird looks because I don't think that most people see me as 100% black so they are possibly just trying to figure what I am and they are not too consumed with my hair. OTOH Black women either like it or really hate it. I love it and could care less what others think.

  • K.R. says:

    A lot of guys my age (college age) like the long straight hair more, but many are coming to me and telling me that they "kinda like my hair." But sometimes I get hit with the "when did you do this?"

  • Anonymous says:

    i have to say that my man loves my hair no matter what style i wear it in. when we first met, all i wore were weaves and now with my natural hair, he likes that fact that he is now allowed to "touch" my hair (we all know how that is when you have a relaxer/weave). i get complimented on my hair by not only black men, but also white and hispanic men. but more often than not, i think it is the confidence to wear my hair naturally that attracts attention.

  • mizcreativelyme says:

    bbbwaaahahahaha!!! @camiB ..nuff said

  • camiB says:

    yawn. can we please stop asking this question?!? and whyyyy are we relating this to 'specifically black men' when everyone reading on this site knows the answer to that???????????
    in my experience, mostly non-black people give the positive responses, black women either like natural hair//"wish their hair could do that" or are scared to take the plunge. black men overwhelmingly dislike it and want long,straight, hair. period.

  • Rayann says:

    I usually don't have black guys commenting on my hair since the middle school I went to didn't have many if at all. A lot of times it was the caucasian guys that were feeling up my hair. If you're dating someone who doesn't like your hair, maybe you shouldn't be dating them. You shouldn't have to change to meet some guy's warped standards of beauty.

  • Kenneth says:

    Most guys that I know have no idea what our black women actually go through when they get relaxers. The burning, potential scarring, and severe damage to the hair strand are only a few of the issues that most guys will never understand and many don't care. Personally, I'm a huge supporter of natural hair.

  • Lanay says:

    I have been wearing my hair in its natural state/protective styles for almost a year now and all the guys I have encountered love it!. I get approached way more now lol I don't know if it's because of my hair or personality (which i feel has changed since I've gone natural; also the bigger my hair is the more bubbly i become lol)

    the funny thing is that the only people I most often get compliments from are guys of pretty much all ages (mostly 20-35) and non-black women (they are always asking me where I get my hair done/if i tease it/etc. HAH!).

  • Anonymous says:

    I am blessed to have a supportive husband who absolutely LOVES my hair in its natural state. Just the other day, I received a compliment from a man in the grocery store that really made my day. I receive compliments from time to time. At least the men that I surround myself with(cousins and family friends) tend to like natural hair but that doesnt make up the whole population of men.

  • Anonymous says:

    Dear Von at Jun 22 3:12 am.

    I am 49 yo and I get most of my compliments from the over 35 group!

    I get plenty of turned heads from the young'uns however; subliminally they're aware that natural hair is gorgeous and that "Stacey's mom has got it going on". They'll look but they won't dare say anything! LOL!

    I am a nursing assistant, and most of our patient population is 50 and older. Not a week goes by without an exclamation of "you are beautiful!" by black and white men.

    I love the 'fro.

    It will get you noticed.

    Hopefully for the right reasons.

    p.s. Men like length. Strive for healthy hair.

  • Anonymous says:

    @ Renise B, all I can say is WOW! I hope you never spoke to him again.

    I've never really received negative compliments about my hair from men (just a few family members who seems to love relax hair). I do notice I get more expressive positive compliments from white men and other races. When I get approach by black men my hair is in its natural state so I guess that would mean they like it.
    I do agree with the ladies who says men likes length. I get more attention the bigger I wear my hair, but again its most often from white men.

  • Renise B says:

    I've had more positive than negative responses from black men but I can honestly say that the negative comments hurt. I'm not going to pretend like I can ignore every ignorant person that I come in contact with. That may sound good on paper but we're human, often times those things hurt you.

    When I did my bc, my boyfriend whom hadn't even seen it yet told me he hated it and that he couldn't understand me. He also called me hard-headed for doing what I want and not what he preferred. Clearly I dismissed him. I've also had a guy tell me that my hair makes me "too black" and he needed someone he could take to places other than poetry readings. *shrug*

  • Von says:

    I'd be interested to know the age of the women who say that black men like their hair. I'm in my early 20's and I've found that black men of my age demographic don't like it. The black men who love natural hair tend to be over 35. In my opinion most black men of my age group prefer long relaxed hair and more of them like weave than they would like to admit.

  • Anonymous says:

    My boyfriend and I were not on good terms before I decided to go fully natural. When we met I flat ironed my hair and I never styled it in its natural state. So when I stopped flat ironing my hair I got less compliments and finally no compliments from him. The thing that hurt the most was when we were supposed to attend a ball/gala together and he cancelled with me and took another woman. I was devastated at first but later realized that our relationship was false and he was an idiot. Since then I’ve met a man that loves my natural hair and compliments me all the time about it. My ex is still calling me 6 months later apologetic and wanting to reconcile. I think NOT. You lost one!

  • Anonymous says:

    my best compliment came from a complete stranger on what i considered not my best hair day. leaving out after paying for gas he held the door open, while @ the pump he walked straight over to me and said…you're very pretty i just wanted to tell you that enjoy your day! i was like wow! very unexpected! told him thank you and enjoy his day as well!

  • anewmeep says:

    I'm 17 and in high school(very diverse) and i get a ton of compliments from everybody. This one spanish boy in my class is literally just as excited about my natural hair as i am. Guys(all races) tell me my hair is cool when i have it in fro hawks and curly fros and all. Other girls of different races tell me how they wish their hair could do the same. Black girls usually just stare or tell me how they could never where their hair like that and it only works for some people. I rarely get an insult, maybe about once or twice a month either by relatives, black girls etc. This one African boy at my school who is always after me asked me last month why i always wear me hair in a poof…tsk tsk. Anyways i love my natural hair, especially all the attension i get, i stand out from most others in my school and i have realized that i have become a lot more confident. I will be 2 years in september woot woot

  • Anonymous says:

    Absolutely not! Most of the men I meet LOVE LOVE LOVE natural hair.

  • Anonymous says:

    Yeah I been natural for two years now and my boyfriend still hates it. I thought he would calm down once I got out of the twa stage….but he still hates it immensely. So…..I am thinking of straightening it. Either BKT or relaxer, I am not sure. Still thinking on it. I am just disgusted and discouraged, and tired of fighting him about it…..

  • Gloria says:

    I have received nothing but positive comments from dudes about my hair. I have guys telling me all the time to never cut it or straighten it. I think a big part of this, though, is the fact that my hair is so BIG. It is very noticable, and it is probably my most attention grabbing feature. It attracts people like moths to a flame, lol.

    One of the biggest determining factors in my deciding to go natural was actually the guys in my life. They were constantly telling me that I was cute, but they wanted to know what my "real hair" looked like. They were asking me about my hair like EVERY DAY. Lol, so they were very happy when I started to wear it naturally.

  • Natural-E says:

    White men seem to LOVE natural hair.

    Evelyn of http://salonnaturelles.blogspot.com/

  • Anonymous says:

    my boyfriend is mexican and is so baffled by my hair but he loves it.hes always touching it and thinks of it as his personal pillow lol. we went to highschool together so he's seen me from relaxed, to big chop, to second big chop, and now almost 2 1/2 years of hair growth. i dont think it matters to him how it looks as long as he can touch it πŸ™‚

  • Anonymous says:

    Hubby LOVESSSSS my hair and he loves it natural and kinky. He has dreads and loves his dread too,lol. He DOES NOT care for relaxed straight hair, AT ALL. Never did. He has friends that also dig women with natural hair,too.

  • Anonymous says:

    I must say that it is heartwarming to read the positive posts above. Unfortunately, my husband is not on board. I'm transitioning (1yr 1 mon), and now I'm itching to cut these permed ends off. It's very difficult to style my two different textures in this humid summer weather. He's fine with me going natural, I think it's the thought of me possibly looking like a boy. It makes me sad that he lacks vision.

    I know I'll probably catch some flack from the sisters here, but I do care what my husband thinks. So my plan is to continue the transition for a few more months, and then do my big chop. This will give him a little more time to 'get on board'. I hope he comes around.

  • Anonymous says:

    I absolutely get more male attention when my hair is straightened. But I don't seek male attention so it is not of concern to me. The one man in my life likes my hair natural (and straightened). He loves me, and that is all I ask.

  • Anonymous says:

    same amount of guys are attracted to me as when i was with my straightened hair. Regardless of race, because I get equal attention from all the "Races" around here. I think it has to do more with your attitude. Others can sense that strength and self assuredness in another. WOmen with strong self esteem, that exudes throughout and others can read that. I believe, sure men Prefer long straight hair, but that does not mean they are 100% opposed to shorter length textured hair. It's all about the person, not about the hair on her head

  • Anonymous says:

    I still get attention from men…possibly even more than I did when I wore my hair straight. I noticed that the bigger/longer it gets, the more attention I get πŸ™‚

    My boyfriend absolutely loves it, he says it's "really soft and comfortable" lol. But he loves my hair no matter how I wear it.

  • Anonymous says:

    I'm 23 and a lot of older guys love my hair like 40+, i like older men but not old enough to be my father. A lot of guys my age will compliment my hair but don't really pursue me as much as when i was relaxed and im an attractive girl(maybe it's just in my head). However the guys that do approach love my hair.

  • Maya Ange'le says:

    My boyfriend absolutely loves my natural hair. We're apart for the summer (oh the joys of being college students…) and he told me he legitimately is trying to convince his mom to go natural because he misses playing around with my hair. I'll never forget the first time he saw a picture of me from back when I used to straighten my hair, he had this look of disbelief on his face like it wasn't me.
    I've also noticed that I generally get hit on more since being natural, but that might be a function of a) feeling/looking more confident and b) having been in more urban areas since going natural.

  • Bree says:

    I notice that the only guys that i get hit on now on a regular basis that are black are the ones with dreads. I think that other black men just prefer length, because I always get "why did you cut your hair" instead of why did you go natural, and I have 4b hair. Now that it's growing out, I do notice a few more looks πŸ˜‰

    artifbeingcool.blogspot.com

  • Anonymous says:

    My husband of 15 years is the one that encouraged me to stop relaxing my hair. I've been two years natural now and still cant figure out why I was relaxing my hair, but still wearing it curly and using heat to put little ringlets back into my hair.
    Wherever we go, my hubby makes a point to compliment naturals in whatever style they are rockin. Makes me feel good that he is so expressive about it. He loves my kinky curls and tells me just about every day.

  • Anonymous says:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cvYDhRyW9Xw

    DEAD PREZ- the beauty within

  • LoVe.Peace.Curls. says:

    *in my space ANYWAY lol

  • LoVe.Peace.Curls. says:

    I've never gotten looks of disgust or anything like that…I get a lot of compliments (I usually wear my hair in a big curly 'fro, or pulled up into a curly puff). My ex loved to play in my hair, and I also get frequent comments on how good my hair smells lol! I did have one male friend back home who used to try to sneak diss, and ask when I'm gonna straighten my hair…I haven't straightened once since going natural in 2009, and I don't plan on it any time soon. My view is this: Anyone who has a problem with me and what I have on top of MY head doesn't need to be up in my space anyone, especially if it's serious enough for you not to approach/like me because of it.

  • Anonymous says:

    The funny thing is that I have had men support my decision to go natural more than women! Their are some men who didn't like it but they didn't matter!;) My ex-boyfriend would continuously get on me about doing the BC…he would actually get on my nerves because he would ask so much!

    When I finally went to do it…he was so darn excited that he came with me and held and kissed my hand while the barber was cutting it and was telling me how beautiful i was! lol The barber and other guys in the shop also told me that I looked nice and that they wished other black women would go natural and be proud of themselves! These were all black men!

    Another guy that I like a lot use to kiss my curls and say that anything that is natural is created by God and you should embrace it. He told me to "Never change my Hair…Never"! I was surprised! He was Ethiopian…but then again they are from Africa if that makes a diffrence! I guess it just simply boils down to prefrence…but at the end of the day its your prefrence that counts…right?

  • Anonymous says:

    My experience with black men and natural hair has been positive for the most part. I think the negativity women may see is due to the LENGTH!!! Black men do not like to see sistas with short fros (but it is okay with a short, relaxed hairdo) and they love women with long hair, I think they prefer the long straight weaves vs. long curly hair (natural or weaves). IMO it is a truly sad for any person to be negative about a person's physical attribute…we are all different sizes, shapes, have different hair, etc. and how you wear your hair or dress does not define who you are as a person. I am indifferent if anyone does not like my natural hair or not. The black men who have made comments have been positive (I love your big hair!) Some have even questioned my nationality (sad our own men don't know what black women's natural hair looks like) or if it is a weave!!! (I have very curly, thick hair a few inches past my shoulders). When my hair was shorter (above shoulders), a black man I dated really did not like my natural curly hair and said he preferred it straight and I said OH WELL….I like my hair curly and that is how I am going to wear it…I am not changing who I am to accomodate someone else's feelings…needless to say I am still friends with this brotha and now that my curly hair has become longer, he is given me positive compliments!!

  • JustTrena says:

    The men's comments I've received have been positive. One brother described it as "sexy and different"; a white dude asked if he could "just touch it" and then he sighed!! LOL!! *kinda weird but funny; I had some random dude at a nightclub say as I passed, "I like your hair like that"; and just this past weekend I got, "Hey, you have that Angie Stone thing going…I like it"!

  • Anonymous says:

    now my boyfriend i believe he is a bit confused. im a current transitioner and wen i told me he was like OH NOOO i dont like that thats ugly im not down with the fro; then like a couple months later the cheerio commercial with the black women came on and he was like he likes kinky hair because he's never seen a ugly women with kinky hair and i jus gave him a dumb stare like WHAAAA u just told me a couple of months ago u didnt like natural hair.lmao i guess now he might be warming up to it. so its not a issue nemore he's kinda happy about it now.lol
    once i broke it down to him n told him that natural hair can be straightened.lol

    but i never knew what the problem was cuz wen he met me i had kinky twist in which he hates cuz he doesnt like weaves.lol
    i wore and still do wear my hair in curls which he said he also doesnt like.lmao but yet 2 yrs later he's still here.lol

  • Imogen says:

    Well since my husband is Sicilian/Italian I can't really comment on what a Black lover would think.

    But I can say that my husband loves my curls. He loves playing in my hair, pulling on it, and kissing the curls. And he's said that he loves that I can do so many different things with my hair: braids, twists, finger coils, etc.

    He thinks that natural is best and that straight hair on black women can look unnatural and "too planned"?; while curly hair looks hot. But he prefers curly hair to straight just in general.

    In terms of Black men, I have noticed that when I'm out I get more looks from men when I wear my hair curly than when I wear it long and straight with loose curls. Why? I have no idea. Maybe relaxed hair is a bit boring? Maybe I seem more confident with curly hair? Maybe I just look cuter with the hair God gave me? I don't know.

    In terms of male family members, they like long, bone straight hair. Our family is multicultural and it feels like they want the women's hair to show our mixed heritage. Since I'm the only girl in my family with very curly hair, they are even less inclined to like my hair, since they're not used to it. All our women have naturally long wavy hair, so mine is a bit of an oddity.

    When my grandfather saw my hair he said "what did you do to your head?!" while my cousin said "I can't take you seriously with curly hair."

    But what you like and what makes you feel and look good is a personal decision. Confidence never goes out of style and if men don't like my hair, that's their problem. I AM happy that my hot husband supports me. He's like: if I wanted a white girl or a girl with straight hair, I would have found one. I like you. Be natural and be yourself.

    It's nice to be liked for who you are and what you naturally look like.

    Plus, I went natural for myself and part of my motivation for staying natural for our unborn daughter. When she is born, I want her to know that however her hair is: kinky, curly, wavy, straight, we love it bc its coming from her little head.

  • Anonymous says:

    I agree with Yvonyvj that location makes a difference. I moved from a big city to a small one and I must say I don't often receive much attention from black men period. I don't know if it's because I'm natural. I've been natural for over eight years. Men who approach me are most often white men, who loves my hair. When I lived in NYC it was white men, and hispanic men. Black me when I wore it straight.
    I guess I'm just not that lucky!

  • MsJboogie007 says:

    I have had a mixture of reactions while dating. Some men will say "when are you going to straighten that", while other men like to touch it and play with and just like the fact that it is natural. But as Komirra stated, if you don't like it, don't try to holla because I have yet to straighten my hair so this is what you are going to get most of the time. But her statement also made me realize I am guilty of asking a guy to do something different with his hair or beard…lol

  • Anonymous says:

    Honestly, men who like it, just like it! My boyfriend LOVES it. He said that my hair is so sexy, and he notices that everywhere I go, women are stopping me and asking how I maintain my hair and how long I have been natural. He feels that more black women need to learn more about their natural hair. His mother has also been natural since he was a child, so he has more of an understanding of it than most black men. He told me that she had long mid back length hair, and used to allow him to brush it. When he was in high school, she cut it short into a TWA, and he said that she was even more beautiful. I just LOVE how much he appreciates natural hair for me and my daughter. He says that I am his nappy headed queen. LOL

  • Anonymous says:

    My husband plan and simply hates it and gave me hell when I was transitioning and while it was short. Now that I've been natural for about 2 yrs with a nice length, he's been much more chill. Still quick to say he prefers relaxed, but not so anti-natural. Or maybe he just realizes that these naps are here to stay! I also think your location matters. I'm in Chicago and despite us being a big city, we are last to accept things and we are just now starting to see more naturals unlike other cities.

  • Anonymous says:

    My boyfriend doesnt really care kinky or straight as long as im not wearing weave..He hates it..lol.

    Its funny but i think some men are intimidated by the natural women. I think some men seem to think natural women has a confidence level they don't want to deal with. I had a guy friend ask me was i going to start using "black soap" now that i am going natural.

  • komirra says:

    huuuuuh i have to say im not sure why natural sistas keep asking this question. there is a 99% chance that a man is gonna see me rockin a fro. if he has a problem with is then he shouldn't try to holla at me plain and simple. honestly there are certain styles i dont prefer on men; if i really couldnt get over their hairstyle then i wudnt try to be with them. black or not

    i was told i wudnt get much attention from black men being natural but i cut my hair anyway. and now plenty of black men comment of how good my hair looks. i think we shud focus less on how tthey think about our hair and more about how we feel about it.

    seriously, does a man ask you wether or not they should get a hair cut? or grow out a fro for cornrows? or cut a mohawk? NO! they just do it. so just do u no questions asked

  • sosoulful_0125 says:

    My fiancΓ© loves it…he always said he thought it just brings a glow of confidence one of the first things that attracted me to him.

    However, I can remember when I went natural over 3 years ago, my ex-boyfriend was horrified. I can remember going to his house right after I did it and he was shocked I would have given him the benefit of the doubt since I did not tell him but it was what he said "Why would go and do that for don't like that" and it was how he said it too. But I did not let get me down I just walked out of his house head held high.

  • Jeannette says:

    Although I've had a positive experiences, the way I view life very positive. So even if someone didn't like it, I wouldn't care or focus on those naysayers.

  • Anonymous says:

    I wear my hair in a textured fro and I don't get much play from men. I consider myself attrative and I've been rocking natural hair for about 20 years. When I lived in LA I got way more play then where I live now. I reckon that's why I'm planning to relocate. LOL. Anywho…I love my kinks, naps, and coils and if a man doesn't care for them then I don't care for him. For real though. (hppynppy)

  • Janae says:

    In my experience, men love it. I've never gotten a negative reaction or comment about my hair. I do know men that I think don't like it, but they've never given me any bad comments about my hair. I've gotten way more conpliments/sexual advances (haha), and I've been approached way more since going natural 2 years ago. I'm 22 btw — not sure if the age range has anything to do with it though because I've been approached by all age groups haha. I love my natural hair and I feel sexier with it. I straightened it for a week once and my swag was TOTALLY off.

  • MommieDearest says:

    I've been natural for 8 years, and my nappy hair,or the fact that I am married, doesn't stop men from trying to holla at a sister. Honestly, I think being sexy is a state of mind, and feeling sexy comes from within. IMO, there are plenty of women and men who are not "conventionally" attractive, but they have an undeniable sex appeal. Once you are able to accept your natural hair for what it is and embrace it, you become more comfortable in your own skin and you get more confidence. Any man will tell you that a CONFIDENT woman is sexy. She has that appealing swag and a certain aura about her. If I may paraphrase Forrest Gump's mama; sexy is as sexy does.

  • Bitty Boss says:

    Black men don't seem to have issue with my hair in terms of the amount of attention that I get from them. I hear the following a LOT though:

    "Hey sistagirl!"
    "Nice fro!"
    "Go on girl!"

    Then there are the curious stares. These are the guys that ask to touch. Less frequently, I will get stares of disgust. lol. This always seems to crack me up.

  • Anonymous says:

    I'm dating now.. and honestly he wants me to straighten my hair ASAP =/ no perm of course, but I have thought about straightening it.

  • Nicole says:

    My boyfriend and I first started dating right after I BC'ed and I'll admit, I was incredibly nervous about how he felt about it. But I stood tall and remained confident in my hair and in my skin.

    A year later and my hair is healthier and growing beautifully (I've also perfected the art of a twist out) and he can be found playing in my hair, conditioning it or smelling it while I'm in his arms. He loves it and makes a point to tell me that atleast 2x a week.

    It is refreshing to see men who are accepting and loving of women with natural hair. While I know there's an entire group of men who won't gravitate towards teeny weeny afros, I just think those are the guys who aren't worthy of our true beauty!

  • Chantel says:

    My experience has been positive overall, guys my age love my hair and so do most older men (Im a college student). The only thing I notice about guys my age is that many of them feel that natural hair doesn't suit all women (totally not true IMO). Then there are the ones that don't understand when a girl's hair is actually "done" in its natural state or how its supposed to look when its done. I think that mostly just comes from their subjective definition of what "done" hair looks like though.

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