by KurlyBella of KisforKinky
The other day as I was standing in my mirror trying to decide if I want to cut my hair and if so, how I wanted to cut it, I thought back to my days with straight hair just last year – that last time I pressed. I look nice with my hair pressed out but as always, as soon as I press my hair and the feeling of the love I have for my straight hair subsides a few days later, I’m feening to go back to my kinky curls.
I’ve come to realize that though I covet my hair in it’s organic state, a lot of women don’t stay natural or don’t go natural because they don’t feel that their natural hair is a flattering look for them. I didn’t rock a TWA because I felt the same exact way. I wore a sew in until my hair was shoulder length pressed-out and wore my hair pressed until I fried it to oblivion. Too bad we don’t have do-overs in life. Now, I know better.
Would it be fair to say that not everyone’s choice to NOT go or STAY natural has to do with self-hate or interior disdain, more so than it has to do with an aesthetic choice of simply – “natural hair is…not cute…on me”?
But wait, at the same time saying that “natural hair is just not FLATTERING for errbody” is a catch 22, right, because your natural hair is how you are SUPPOSED to look, so is there really any way one can believe such a sentiment and truly stand firm in it with no connection to the historical battle we’ve been fitting with our roots?
I’d say no because in my opinion you can’t have one without the other since the desire to straighten itself in the first place is directly tied to self hate – even if the first straightening comb was invented forever ago or if you have no idea who Madam CJ Walker is.
“But we change ourselves and our hair up (for the better) all the time!”
Yes, I can admit that people dye their hair and sometimes the dyed hair looks better than their natural hair or we get a hair cut that is flattering to our face shape and structure that completely changes our look and highlights our faces better. So what’s the difference? Is there one?
What say you? Do you believe that natural hair is just not FLATTERING for errbody? Or do you think that inevitably this value is tied, even in the slightest bit, to self loathing whether one admits it or not?
It been almost a year my hair is natural color. I don't wear any make-up also. My eyebrows I let them grow so it could goes with the nice shape of my lovely adorable face. What's left is my hair being longer so it will curl less. It been a very long time I didn't have long hair to my butt, hihihi! But I won't have them to my butt but middle of my back. I still fix my hair but most of times and finally I let them dry by themself. I had problems in my past about judgement from others to be like perfect to their eyes, even by changing hair color, wearing make-up I was never happy and proud of who I am and look like. Today I look better because of my self estime. No matter what it's a choice to be who you are and look like or not. It's really hard today to accept yourself how you are made. I learn by my past, to accept other you have to accept yourself, that's how you kill the judgement side. Oh and my bad for my english spelling! Anyways… I support the people that are themselves. When my hair will turn grey I'll keep them. I can't wait to have grey hair oneday and I don't care if to other I sound insane. There's people that have cancer and with treatments they lost their hair… they would somehow prefer having grey hair or hair that doesn't fit them than not having any hair. I admit I'm very lazy when it comes to ''fix'' up myself… my real reply on this is, I don't give a damn baby! It's because… I feel great to be me, myself and I. I won't change and I won't change for anyone… you can't stand my look then stop wasting your time to look or lose your saliva. If I truely bother you by my look it might be because you dislike how happy I am about myself or it's a question about being jeaous. 😉 Enough said! <3
If you had never been introduced to a hair relaxer you would not know how you would look with a hair relaxer. Thus your natural hair would be good enough for you. #enoughsaid
I personally know that natural hair is not flattering for me. I have an assymetric face, and to minimize its appearance (feel confident and presentable) it needs to lay across my forehead. I walk around all day with people telling me how ugly I look. That isn't good for anyone's self-esteem, I don't care how thick your skin is.
Natural hair is a texture, not a hairstyle. If you were born with afro-textured hair then it is for you. Now whether you look good wearing that afro-textured hair in an actual afro or afro puff or bantu knot or whatever, is a different question. But if you have "kinky" or "nappy" hair by way of birth it was what God meant for you.
I know this: relaxed hair is not for black people. It is achieved with damaging and corrosive chemicals that can burn your scalp and potentially leave you bald. Same with that yak hair weaves, if you're not careful.
Sadly black women have bought into the falsehood that to be truly feminine and pretty you need straight, long or wavy hair flowing down your back. It doesn't help that almost all prominent black women from the first lady to Beyonce have relaxed hair or wear weaves.
When your family wants to disown you and men don't want to date you and employers think how your natural hair grows out of your scalp is "unprofessional" then relaxing and weaving is not a choice. It's coercion, racism and internalized racism.
Especially when before there was never really an acknowledgment of the beauty of our own except for that brief black power time in the 60s and 70s and it was BRIEF.
Personally I wore weaves and or had my hair permed for most of my adult life. The first time I went natural was because of a self perm that took my hair out. This time, I'm doing it forever. It's easier, it's cheaper, and honestly it looks better on me than any other style I tried to achieve with fake-ass straight hair.
Why should I try to emulate the looks of the oppressor? In so doing I'm saying the woman with straight hair is more beautiful than I. Why should I give money to people who won't employ my own in their shops? Why should I put chemicals in my hair that are actually ruining its health? Makes on sense. I choose to keep my 200 a month, that's right 200 a month for color, cut, style!!!!
All I do with my current hair is wash, shea butter, finger comb and go. It's so easy when I'm not fighting my natural texture and trying to make it do things it wasn't meant to. Women stop me in the street and say how beautiful it is and strangely how courageous I am for wearing it the way I do.
I'm not braver than anyone else. I just got tired of trying to fit a standard of beauty that doesn't fit and f* up my hair and lightening my wallet to achieve it. I wish for other black women to have the same wake-up call.
Natural hair is good.However,someone have to wear the lace wigs.No choice.
I actually feel like certain looks/styles/cuts do NOT flatter. Natural hair is so NOT for everyone. Everyone does not have the time, energy, patience, etc that natural hair requires. Also, many people really do just like straight hair. One of my cousins LOVES straight hair on herself so although she was natural she straightened her hair all the time then eventually decided it'd be better and easier to get a light relaxer.
MAINLY how can a natural say someone doesn't like the way they look/were born by striaghtening or relaxing it, when 9/10 naturals I know/read about do NOT wear their natural hair naturally (which would be a constant wash n go) they wear twists twist-outs braids braid-outs updo's etc. That is still changing the way your natural hair pattern is even though they all leave it looking curly. Think about it.
What Oli said:
"Anyone can rock natural hair, you just gotta find the right style/'do"
Relaxed hair can look crazy on someone if the style isn't right. People need to be patient, try different styles until they find the right one, or go to a good stylist for help. And if someone doesn't like the way they look natural, and they want to relax, good for them. Makes no difference to me. (Unless it's my child, she's not relaxing!)
IMAGINE IF EVERYONE STAYED JUST THE WAY GOD MADE THEM. NATURAL! THEN HOW COULD ANYONE SAY THAT NATURAL HAIR IS NOT MADE FOR EVERYBODY? IT IS! EVERYONE CAN WEAR THEIR HAIR IN DIFFERENT STYLES AND COLORS NATURALLY BUT IT IS MADE FOR US BECAUSE THAT IS HOW GOD MADE US! NO EXCUSES PEOPLE!
The natural hair of any woman of any culture is perfect just for her! Period!
It's about accepting what we were born with. No, my NATURAL hair does not shine or swing in the wind…but that's the nature of my hair and I accept that.
However, when I was younger, I did not accept my hair or many things about the way I looked. But through living I have realized that no person should disown what they were naturally born with.
Our hair is unique and VARIETY IS THE SPICE OF LIFE so we should rock it! We should work with what we were born with! It's all GOOD!
I agree it's about the style. For me, while my hair is gorgeous and I proudly rocked my TWA w/gray even though I felt like a skinned chicken (always had lots of hair) and despite my mom asking when I was going to color the gray (trying so hard to love it but)–she's gray and natural but hide with the wig), my hair, one month from being a year old is now BIG and thanks to CurlyNikki and others, I have now found my boo (in Ancient Sunrise-Celebration BAQ Henna—www.mehandi.com) I get stopped by so many women (white and Hispanic included) with compliments/questions about my hair all to which I turned them on to this site and others for reference! I'm currently helping one of my nieces who is now natural to aid her in becoming a henna head. Thank you CurlyNikki and her many followers for all your help over this past year, your tips and insight have been invaluable!!!!!! Luv ya! Shirl
I won't say that natural hair isn't for everyone, but certain natural styles aren't for everyone. I probably wouldn't look great with a TWA because I don't have the head shape for it. I could *maybe* do buzz-cut short, but anything between that and chin-length wouldn't look great on me. I likewise avoid braids and cornrows. I look great with a massive 'fro, though, as well as with low buns, pigtails, and twists.
I mean, really. There are women who look best with pixie cuts, women who rock the bob, and women who were made for mohawks. Naturally curly/kinky hair isn't any different. It's all about the style.
Not everyone looks good with natural hair, certain styles just don't look as well. I've seen some women who to me personally looked better with a perm, while others after cutting their perm off looked much better natural. I guess it basically comes down to you deciding what works best for your facial features and going from there on the styles that will bring out the best in you.
I think that a person's 'natural' hair might bring out or highlight different features of a person's face that they might not be used to. That doesn't mean that it doesn't look good on them – but it may make other things stand out more or less than before (lips, noes, eyes, eyebrows…) So, in that way, it has a lot to do with personal aesthetics.
Also, what is and is not "flattering" changes with the times. White people with tanned skin used to be a sign of lower class (someone who had to work outdoors), then it became a signifier of someone wealthy enough to take vacations to sunny places. Relaxed hair is, in some countries, a sign that you have enough money to "do" something with your hair…
Try not to be governed by the pendulum swing.
Natural hair STYLES are NOT for everybody. Just like a perm is not or a mohawk or braids or gel twist is not. Every style of natural hair is not cute on everyone. My natural hair is so thick and unruly that i wouldn't dare wear it unless it is in a flattering syle. My natural afro is not attractive on me. I don't hate myself, my people, or my hair. But I know how I (emphasis) like to look. My goal is to have healthy, manageable, low-maintenance hair. Natural hair is not low maintenance unless i choose to wash and go. Even trying to comb my natural hair is a hard task. People who have an easier grade of hair to manage find that they can create a style that is flattering. My hair is not that way. Just as every outfit, shoe, shirt, color aint for errbody, neither is every hair STYLE.
I feel that anyone can rock whatever hairstyle they want as long as they know themselves and are comfortable with themselves. I love my natural hair, I loved my relaxed hair. I just simply love my hair!!! I think the problem with people and natural hair is they are stuck on what society deems appropriate. When I first did my BC I thought I could only wear long or big earrings, but within a month I realized I was crazy and I could put on whatever kind of earrings and would be fine. I think the whole question of natural hair is, is the person comfortable with themselves enough? It's a mental and physical thing, not just a hair thing. Anyone can be natural and can rock it as long as they have confidence and know what's best for them. Hair to me is the best accessory God could have ever given us, so we have to embrass it for what it is.
It's not that natural hair doesn't look good on some people, but it's just that not everyone is physically attractive(=clear skin, straight teeth, symmetrical face/body, healthy body weight). Usually when people aren't physically attractive society wants them to chose a beauty regimen that is aligned with mainstream (and for black women, that means relaxed hair) so they can blend in. Natural hair and minimal makeup reveal how a woman really looks, but much of the modern beauty routine is an effort to distract from the way the woman actually looks (weave, false lashes, flourecent makeup, body padding/slimming garments, etc.)
Also, I think there is a difference between saying "natural hair is ugly" and saying "I have ugly hair". One is a sweeping generalization while the other is person specific. Given the fact that most sweeping generalizations are WRONG! When a person says "Natural Hair" is ugly. There is some underlying issue.
You know I have been thinking about that for a while. When someone says natural hair doesn't look good on them, they are essentially saying they have ugly hair. Or atleast that is what they SHOULD mean. I think if one can agree with the later statement then ok your hair is ugly so you should do something about it. If you don't agree with that statement, then you should reevaluate what you mean when you say natural hair doesn't look good on you. I think when people look deeper into what they habitually say they will gain a greater understanding of WHY they say certain things. I don't think every person has the same reasons, so it is hard to generalize everyone as being self-hating.
What is errbody? Is it a hairtype?
Wow…. I knew this would spark a fire.
#1. What does Natural mean to you? because EVERYONE seems to have a different opinion. Does it mean no heat or chemical what so ever? Does it mean I can dye my hair? Does it mean I can press my hair? Does it mean you can judge those who don't agree with your definition?
#2. People are sooooo critical of what natural is and how you are supposed to embrace it that they don't seem to remember it was once them who had the weave, relaxer, color, flat iron etc…
#3. Blacks are NOT the only individuals who battle standards of beauty. Even women in the white community get dye jobs, relaxers/curl perms, etc to get their hair to look a certain way. Get over it and worry about YOUR HEAD.
#4. Whether it grows out your head or not, its YOUR HAIR. You are the one that has to comb it, style IT, PAY FOR IT (PRODUCTS). Do what you believe is best for your life. If a woman frowns at me because I chose to flat iron my hair today, OH WELL… I still feel good about myself. I know the TLC and love I put into my hair every single Saturday; besides I got other crap to do than sit there for 2.5 hours doing a twist out that wont come out right for the 8th time because you want me to rock the same " natural look" as you. Whether or not its straight or curly, I am styling the actual hair that came out of my GOD given head (not bought from a beauty supply store).
Well as I always say, "do you."
I think people are too political about it. It's just hair and its your own personal choice how to rock it. I cant tell someone how to wear their hair and they cant tell me how to wear mine. I love my hair now that I am 100% natural. It works for me. Others may have tried and not like it for one reason or another. The only thing I dont like is when people try to talk negatively about the way natural hair looks.
I'm currently transitioning and I did not know that maintaining natural hair would be so time consuming. It's been one year and I'm still going strong. I definitely spent less time on my relaxed hair but I've always admired natural hair so I chose what was best for me. I think that should be the motive; do what is best for you. If you feel natural hair fits you and you have the time and patience to care for it, then stay/go natural. If not, do you. Some natural hair divas can be very judgmental and try to make having natural hair some exclusive "club". I don't get caught up with that because at the end of the day; this is my hair growing out of my head and I'm the one that has to style and maintain it whether it is relaxed or natural.
Also, having natural hair is NOT necessarily a state of mind. For many, it is just a hair style. If I want my natural curls/kinks because I like the way it looks; I am choosing that hair style for myself. The same goes for a relaxer. Not every person that relaxes, hates themselves and not every natural loves their heritage/roots/blackness/themselves, etc.
Anyone can rock natural hair, you just gotta find the right style/'do
Peace to all,
Making negative comments related to not liking naturally curly hair is very discouraging to people that are transitioning to a healthier hairstyle. Now I'm all for people choosing whatever style they want for their hair but if it doesn’t add up, don’t do anything other than what is right. Let me go the book of Merriam-Webster… and let the church say amen…lol. Some entries for "natural" are listed as "being in accordance with or determined by nature," "having a specified character by nature," "existing in or produced by nature : not artificial," and the one I thought was most appropriate for the situation is "living in or as if in a state of nature untouched by the influences of civilization and society". We have been so brainwashed to think that we shouldn’t love out beautiful head of hair that we were born with, that some are having a hard time being supportive of the natural state of hair. Apparently Willie Lynch has done his job and is continuing to be a prominent figure in our lives. In closing, let’s love our hair, regardless if its natural state is straight, curly or kinky, just as long as it is healthy because if love of self is not accomplished, this will continue to affect the self esteem of generations to come.
Love to all and Peace,
Having natural hair is also a state of mind, not just a hair style.
Some people just don't like their hair curly. When I was younger I hated my hair curly even though my mom and everybody else praised it. I had a little head, on an even smaller body and the hair was massive and heavy lol it was overwhelming and I didn't like it. There are plenty of nationalities/races not just blacks that have naturally curly hair and prefer to wear it straight. Now people that make comments out of ignorance saying wearing their hair natural doesn't look good on them because it's not professional or looks unclean and things like that, those are the kind I might give a side eye to. But honestly some people just really prefer straight hair on themselves. Just like many people who color their hair darker or lighter, altering its natural appearance. Sometimes we prefer to look a certain way other than how God has blessed us to look naturally.
I view hair as an accessory, more specifically a hat that a wear everyday. Whether it is curly or straight it does not define who I am as a person. I feel for someone to say they prefer their hair straight is similar to saying I prefer wearing my yellow hat today instead of the purple. ITS JUST HAIR and I believe we can create our own “look”!!! But when you change your hair so you can look like someone else or meets someone’s standards or to fit in with the crowd then you are doing yourself a disservice. Wear your hair straight, curly, blonde, or purple because that’s what you like and not because someone else is doing it or thinks it looks good. Sometimes making the boldest hair statement means that you want to be different and original. While sometimes getting a perm or straightening your hair may mean you are being true to who you are and what you personally like. Different strokes for different folks.
I think it has more to do with people not knowing how to style and/or take care of their hair in its natural state vice it not being flattering. Every hairstyle pressed relaxed or not will not be flattering on everyone and the same goes for natural hair. There are relaxed people in the world that can have styles that aren’t flattering or just plain jacked-up! The same will go for natural hair. It is all about acquiring knowledge for what your hair does that FITS YOU!
I've said this before and I'll stand by the opinion that an individual's personal preference for how they wear their own hair is their personal business. The reality is that when they walk out of the door THEY have to feel comfortable with how they look. To not do so is place more value on how others feel about their appearance than they do. If they feel that natural hair is not a good look for them, then that perception is their personal REALITY. Think about this question for a moment: For all of us who ARE totally comfortable with our natural hair & believe it does flatter us, would you straighten your hair if someone told you that it was more flattering? We would take offense right? Then why would we put someone else through the same thing when they have a differing opinion about their personal look?
Certain hairstyles do not flatter everyone. The texture of one's hair does not have anything to do with a person's facial features. If a person is truly interested in wearing one's hair in its natural state, finding hairstyles that compliment that person's features is key.
well @gs… people DO say those things. Hence, eye make- up, nose surgeries, etc. Just because you were born with it doesn't make it flattering– just because your natural hair color is black doesn't mean you don't look your best as a redhead. Your applying way too much significance and emotion to a personal choice.
As with every one else [i.e. even non- POC], a persons natural hair state may not be for everyone and you shouldn't feel as though you are embodying self- hate because you ascribe to that school of belief. Your hair exists to protect your head and is determined genetically– certainly not aesthetically. Not everyone looks best with straight hair and not everyone looks best with a 'fro– it's just fact. That also applies to while people– that community seems to have a grasp on the understanding that yes, dyeing, cutting, and [yep, even…] perming can help alter their state of hair to something that suits their personality, lifestyle, fashion sensibility, and faces better. When we start to nitpick everything and pin our own insecurities re: our hair on other people who have simply made the choice that something ELSE looks better on them, we begin to slide down a slippery slope. From when I was young [I've never had a perm or chemical anything in my hair], I understood that my hair looked better as a 'fro or some variation thereof and always tended toward that. My sister wore her hair braided or pressed and that suited her face and personality best– and certainly, neither of us embody any latent self- hate or are in denial of ourselves. Hair isn't just an extension of a racial/ethnic background, we live in a society where every aspect of our physical selves is abled to be altered or dressed accordingly to what looks best on us– and those liberties and understandings should, guiltlessly, be extended to black people, to black women, and black hair without us presuming that it compromises our blackness/love of black self.
I made a video on this called 'Brown skin just isn't for everybody'. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MQWCG9qttI
I think the whole notion of natural hair not suiting certain people is nonsensical. No one would argue that the skin tone you were born with doesn't suit you. It's the same with hair. Just because certain styles or lengths don't suit you, doesn't mean that natural hair in general can't.
I think Shones hit the nail on the head. I don't believe hair is something you are born with but is NOT for you. But- if you don't like yourself with it- that's another story and probably started long ago. But here's the thing- you can be chemical free and still wear your hair straight. I know plenty of women who do and you don't know they're natural until they tell you. So, then what becomes the issue? It's no different than altering any other part of your body. Get boobs because yours aren't big enough (and that is definitely a societal issue)… If you're born with it- it IS for you. – Poeticlyspkng
Because I don't want to do the big chop, and I'm dealing with two textures, I can definitely say that the look does not look good ON ME.
I do not have the face for really short hair, and, I might be a little scarred from a time as a teenager when I got a really bad haircut and had to have most of my hair chopped off and everyone thought I was a boy.
At any rate, I'm really trying to do this natural thing, but so far I'm feeling like it is not flattering on me because I haven't found the right way to style two different textures. It's been six months now since my last relaxer so maybe I'll have the nerve to get a substantial cut eventually.
This comment was made a cookout I attended 2 days ago. The person that the comment was made about was rocking a twa but she needed a shape up ALL over. Being natural I had to tell the person making the comment that everyone can be natural but you have to find the styles that suit you. If I came there wearing a fro-hawk that comment could have been made about me cuz it doesn't suit me. You have to find your best looks.
Natural not suiting your style, I can understand. I even understand how some natural styles don't work with some women. But as far as not suiting everybody that I don't buy. If it grows out of your head that way, there's got to be a way for it to work.
Natural hair look good on everyone. It is just a matter of finding the right style/cut/technique/hair accessories that work for your look and your life style. Me personally, I prefer to keep the back of my hair cut shorter than the front and the sides because when the back gets too long I end up with a duck tail. I also prefer an off center part. Center parts look weird with my big forehead.
Certain natural hair STYLES might not flatter everyone*, but the idea of natural hair in general being unflattering is a gross exaggeration.
*I know my hair would look like it was eating my head if I wore it out in an afro.
I solely believe that it is ones choice to go natural. I went natural 18months ago and have never looked back. I have 3C hair (I think), and was only relaxing 3-4 times per year. Like the author, I never did a BC because I have had long hair my entire life and was unsure how to manage it and also unsure how I would look with it. Now….I don't even blow dry my hair. I could care less what and how people think I look. Last week, I went to work with my wavy 'fro rocking and was comfortable in MY SKIN!!! I'm not against anyone who stays on the "creamy crack" and it is not my place to recruit women to go natural; but in the same token, don't question my decision NOT to fit into society's aesthetic of what is so-called pleasing to the eye. I love the fredom being natural has given me. I love the bond that is created among other natural women. I love Black men and women speaking to me as, "Sister". I LOVE ME!!! #NaturalNotNappy
Its for you because the Most High made you that way! Point blank. Now, people are going to like what they like because we have been given so many options of ways to change our hair (color, perms, weaves, wigs, braids, natural, etc), so do what you feel is best for you, just don't say, your NATURAL HAIR is not for you. It doesnt make any sense.
If straight hair was for you, the Most High would have created you with straight hair. If lighter skin was for you, the Most High wouldve made you with lighter skin. If….well, you get my point!
I came to terms with my kinks, dark complexion, long skinny legs and almond shaped eyes because the Most High made me that way but when i change my hair, whether its perm or color or weave, its not because i dont love who i am and the way i was created. Its because i can. My hair is my playground and allows me to express myself. So no, i dont think people change their natural hair texture or color because of self hate, etc.
Love all of you completely naked…hair included. 🙂
By saying that natural hair is not for everybody is silly. Folks are too lazy to find a style that flatters them and are unwilling to put in the work for maintenance. I'm not saying everyone should be natural. Grown folks are entitled to do what they want. But everyone has the ability to look good natural
I just don't understand someone saying "natural hair doesn't look good on everyone". How can the hair you were born with not look good on you? Not every style is flattering to everyone. There are styles that do not look good on people with straight hair. It's all a matter of finding what styles flatters your face. Hair texture have absolutely NOTHING to do with it.
With that being said I do believe everyone has a right to decide how they choose to wear their hair. I just don't want someone who have their own issues with hair texture to dictate what they deem flattering on me.
If everyone else was doing it…Beyonce, Oprah, Serena Williams, Tyra Banks, or (insert highly photographed BLACK WOMAN name here…), everyone wouldnt be feeling off/scared/insecure/etc about it.
That's what it is. Everyone is born with distinct features and it's up to THAT person to allow society and outside judgements interfere with how they portray threir image!
NATURAL HAIR LOOKS GOOD ON EVERYONE
But you have to find the style that works for you. I look like a hot mess when I do twist outs. However finger-coils look super cute on me. You just have to find what style looks best on you; as almost everyone here has said.
I don't think everyone really understands how versatile natural hair can be. I get tons of inspiration from pics and blogs and videos, when I run out of my own ideas. Natural hair is not a singular look. You can shape it to frame your face, so yes natural hair can be flattering on everyone. In order to see that, you have to be able to release yourself from mainstream "standards" of beauty.
And when I say natural hair is for everyone, I mean anyone can go natural if they choose too. It's just all about finding the style that suits you.
Natural hair IS for everybody because it's the hair that God gave us, however just like if someone were relaxed or has naturally straight hair, there are certain styles that just don't flatter a person. So I don't think it has to do with the texture of the hair, I think it has to do with the style. Also, it takes a lot of work to care for natural hair because of the texture, so if you're lazy, then a relaxer may just be better for you. I'd hate to say that but it's true. I hate to see women walking with with natural hair looking a hot mess.
I do believe there is an aesthetic view in people not liking natural hair or certain natural styles per say. I'm proud of my natural hair, I think its beautiful and I never care when my family or guys I dated told me I needed a perm, texturizer or a hot comb. However, while I like my hair natural there are certain natural styles which I don't like. I used to wear my hair out when it was a twa, but now my hair is longer I no longer wear it out, because I don't like the Big afro look on me. However, I think some women look stunning rocking a big fro. I wear twists once in a while, but mostly I prefer a twist out or a Bantu knot out, or a simple bun. I don't need my hair to be straight, but I don't want it all over the place either. That's just me. Different strokes for different folks, I guess.
THANK YOU GS!!!! This is absolute bull that it is not for everyone! I never ever hear blondes or people with blue eyes saying that crap! If you do not want to wear your hair natural then don't. Don't chalk it up to 'not being for everyone'. As far as relaxed or natural, if you do not maintain and style your hair properly, it will not look good on you, PERIOD! It has nothing to do with your texture.
People are going to like what they like and find a politically correct reason to justify it. I'm not saying that it's wrong or right but it is what it is. There are people that will hate on a women for wearing makeup everyday while they rock a bone straight relaxer. Let me have my vice and you have yours. We all have our crosses to bare. And like Nene said from Real Housewives of Atlanta "I thought she did it for fashion." Indeed, boo, I do and probably so do most women. But I could be wrong.
Really? That's like saying, "Asian eyes aren't for everybody" or "not everyone can pull off a roman or jewish nose"… or "you should color your hair because it's too grey". Why are we letting people get away with saying stuff about natural hair but somehow if you insert any other naturally occurring trait it's offensive? Let's call it what it is people.
I don't think natural hair is for everyone. some people honestly just look better with different hair styles and the same can be said of people with relaxers, weaves, etc. Even though I'm natural and rarely straighten my hair, I personally think I look better with straight hair simply because I have a really round face and my natural hair shrinks up so much and makes it appear even more round, while my straightened hair does the opposite. Either way healthy hair should always be the goal whether its relaxed, natural, weaved up, etc.
Natural hair looks great on everybody, but I realize some women simply cannot look in the mirror and say to themselves, "I can rock this."
Straightening is not the same as self-loathing, but it is a concept of beauty many have bought into as the norm. To say that a woman "hates herself" (self-loathing) just because she straightens her hair is a big jump. For some, it's simply personal preference.
I think it goes both ways. I relax my hair and wear it straight when I'm not wearing protective styles. My hair is EXTREMELY curly so a relaxer truly only relaxes the curl. If I wet it up and put some mousse in it, even when relaxed, my hair will curl up like a natural. I resent the fact that some of my naturalnistas will at times turn their noses up at me because I have decided to keep relaxing my hair – basically saying I'm trying to be someone or something I'm not (i.e. white). I relax my hair and wear it straight because I like it that way, it's easier for me to personally manage and I feel it looks nice on me – no more no less. I also like when I wear it curly or utilize protective styles with the curly/kinky/afro look. Not every haircare decision is semblance of a revolution – or lack thereof.
This comment has been removed by the author.
I don't think natural, permed, weaved, straight, curly, etc hair is for everybody. One size does not fit all. You have to figure out what works best for your life style and rock it. I don't think that it is always a matter of self loathing.