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Curly Nikki

Accepting and Working With What You Got!

By January 27th, 202112 Comments

Lacoya writes;

What are some hair-acceptance (hair texture, curl pattern, social standards, etc.) issues that you faced as a newly natural, and how did you overcome it?

I know I certainly came into being natural blind… not knowing that my hair might not look like everyone else’s. I had a really hard time trying to get my hair to get loose ringlets, which for me, now I know, is impossible (without some sort of styling technique). It took SO long for me to find out, with trial and error alone, and through that, I am only NOW taking the time out to find out what works for my hair. A year into my journey, I still get those internal thoughts saying, man, I wish… when I know well enough (learned in other aspects of my life) that the grass is not always greener. I know somewhere, a natural yearns for MY hair. 🙂

CN Says;

LynnieLuve shared this video by Sweetashoneybabyluv with me and I think her take home message is incredibly important for new naturals– ‘…no one’s curl pattern is the same and it’s not a good idea to fall so deeply in love with someone else’s hair and not your own.’ Plus, she’s gorgeous and funny as hell!


  • Anonymous says:

    I personally watch videos of all types. For ME, I've found that although my curl pattern may be similar to someone else's, my texture is waaayyyy different. I've tried things that work for other 4 types and my hair hates it. For me, focusing on texture and porosity are more important than which way my hair curls/coils/kinks. I watch people with hair types allt he way up to type 1. I feel good hair care is good hair care! …StarPerry

  • Tracey Joy says:

    I watch all kinds of YT videos I can learn from those that are willing to share what they know.I still may find some helpful info. Excellent post I finally got this point through my thick head recently. My hair texture may mimic someone else but it's really not the same. I ♥♥♥ my hair. This post made me play Esther Satterfield "The Need To Be"

  • Anonymous says:

    So true…I'm transitioning right now and I was one of the women who secretely wished her hair will look like Chime's or TMTM's hair when fully natural. Sad but true.
    But the longer I'm into my transition the more I'm falling in love with MY texture and I know with the right products and techniques I will be able to make my natural hair styles look the way I want they to look. I'm emotionaly going through ups and downs in this transitioning journey because when I started I was too deeply in love with other's natural hair and too concerned about how coarse/kinky my natural hair is.

  • The Esthetician says:

    One thing stuck out to me before my big chop–the memory of my hair as a child. I remember my mom telling people, "she has curls when it's wet, but when it dries…poof." I knew the curls were there, so I just had to figure out how to make them last. My transition was easy. I knew I wouldn't have Shirley Temple curls,and I was so cool with that. I wanted big, show-stopping hair like Diana Ross and Chaka Khan as a child. Luckily, that fantasy never went away. Big, kinky, curly hair was my goal–always.

  • Anonymous says:

    This is why I support hair typing, without it, you waste a lot of time and energy trying to get your kinks and curls to do things they are not genetically designed to do.

  • Karmen (Sweetashoneybabyluv) says:

    Thank you LynnieLuve for submitting my video and Curly Nikki. 🙂 I was wondering why I was getting so many emails today, I had to search and find out what was going on. lol This was the exact purpose of this video, so someone could learn from things I've done and try answering questions like Lacoya had.

    @SaBrina – My hair in the video – Mini Twists set on Flexi Rods.

  • SaBrina says:

    Yeah that was a really good piece, and also I like the way her hair is styled in the video.

    Just curious did you ladies hear about or see this, I couldn't believe that lady went there with the mom and her daughter.

  • Annabel says:

    Great video, as a transitioner, it's wonderful to soak in all the words of wisdom from those that have "been there and done that". I will still continue to just worry about having healthy hair and growth. Thanks!

  • Lela7 says:

    I would focus in watching yt vids for people with a similar hair type or hair that u can easily match. I'm 4a/4b and I don't watch vids like Chima or taren because I don't see the point! My hair is different. I watch people like natural chica and other 4b/4c people to help me learn how to handle my hair.

  • Anonymous says:

    Same here…when I first BC'D Major Curl Action! However, after my hair got longer my curls sort of went with it. Don't get me wrong I can get my hair to curl up…but it takes products and more work now! lol but I'm good though!:)

  • TiAnna Mae says:

    I'm with you Lacoya. After I BCed I had really defined curls, but as my hair gets longer, the curls get less and less defined, tighter, and more coarse. I thought I would have small individual shirley temple-like curls, and that is so not the case. I was bummed for about a month, but now I'm back to loving my hair.

  • Lacoya (thesupercoya) says:

    WOW! 🙂 Thanks a bunch Curly Nikki. You're awesome.

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