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Curly Nikki

“All She Did Was Cut Her Hair…

By January 27th, 202110 Comments
"All She Did Was Cut Her Hair...“…So Why Are ‘Congratulations’ in Order?”

by Angela of

Oh, inquisitive one…..I’m so glad you asked…..

She was raised in a society where straight, long and shiny hair was the standard of beauty. When she reached the age of five, this standard of beauty had already begun working on her self esteem. In her mind, one with straight, long and shiny hair allowed her to be viewed as being beautiful on the outside first so that you could get to know her beauty on the inside second. All of her friends, who had straight, long and shiny hair, were limitless in her mind. They were able to run and play in the unforgiving heat without a thought to how their hair would react to the elements. They were able to immerse in swimming pools and stand in front of leaking fire hydrants without the constant nagging voice of mother dearest proclaiming: “baby, now you know what happens when you get that hair wet!?”. She longed for the “freedom” of being limitless and sought after the “confidence” this straight, long and shiny hair brought with it.

So…..she relaxed. Then she weaved. Later she braided. But something was missing. Undoubtedly, she was told that she looked beautiful on the outside. But she felt like someone else on the inside. She no longer recognized the individual staring back at her in the mirror. The face was familiar, but those eyes told a different journey. As she squints to see if anything could jog her memory, she asks:

“Why am I beautiful? Is it because others tell me all the time? Are they saying that because of the way I dress or the way in which I wear my hair? This isn’t even my hair. It’s all because of what I thought this hair could do… for me… my esteem… my thoughts on defining ‘beauty’ is why I am far away from who I know I am on the inside.”

So, inquisitive one, this is why congratulations are in order. All she did not do was cut her hair. She cut off the thoughts of what others perceived to be beautiful. She cut off the end to low self esteem and the beginning of self love. For that, I salute and congratulate her immensely.


  • curlytarheel says:


  • Anonymous says:

    Snaps! Loved this! 🙂 ~KF519

  • Anonymous says:

    Thank you for sharing your story. I decided to go natural after my little girl told me that she wished she had pretty, straight hair just like me. That comment cut straight to the heart, and it also forced me to confront the reasons why I relaxed my hair for decades.

    As much as I wanted to believe that relaxing was merely my preference, I had to come to grips with the fact that it stemmed from ingrained beliefs about what beauty truly looks like. I was first relaxed around the age of 8 or 9, but I was in my 40's when I decided to return to my roots… quite literally. We are changing the face of beauty one head at a time. Peace and blessings.

  • Anonymous says:

    Love this!

  • Rhayne says:

    I enjoy being able to walk outside esp. if it's only a slight mist of rain outside. But I have been caught in a down pour and it wasn't a pretty site, looked like a racoon no waterproof mascara arrgghh lol….


    Did you ladies see this yet?, I found it interesting and thought to share with you on here as well.

  • Anonymous says:

    Beautiful and so truthfully written.You're not just cutting your hair, you're actually accepting yourself and taking a stand against stereotypical ideas of beauty

  • KikirocksKinks says:

    LOVE this post!

  • Anonymous says:

    Very good and inspirational read Wise curls! Thanks for it, I needed that!

  • LaNeshe says:

    Oh my gosh this post is amazing!

  • TiAnna Mae says:

    This is hot! If only we were actually congratulated for cutting our hair. I'm 10 months post BC and people still don't understand why I had to cut it.

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