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Curly Nikki

On the Couch with Our Men…

By January 27th, 202118 Comments

On the Couch with Our Men...

I Lost My Lady to a Revolution … of Sorts

via Hairscapades

Hi … my name is Weusi … and I lost my lady to a revolution … of sorts.

I’m a 70′s baby. My parents and their friends were not freedom fighters … they were revolutionaries. They fought in various ways for the civil rights, well-being and equality of the people. They were the ones that you won’t hear about in any history books because they believe that the revolution will not [and should not] be televised. RIP GIL SCOTT HERON.

These people have incredible stories but, unless you are within their inner circle, you will never hear about them. You can ask Shelli, if you hear their history, the joys, fears, pains, smiles, tears and moments of love and hate that they experienced, you’re sure to learn a few things.

One of the many things I learned was that there will be times when the needs and wants of a mass of people will outweigh the wants of individuals. They instilled in me that there would be times when building and maintaining the health and well-being of a community might be of more important than my personal wants. I say all this because, you are part of the reason that I lost my lady!

It’s your fault that I lost my lady … it’s your revolution … of sorts. Yes, you are part of a revolution! The organizing, development and education of a community of healthy-haired people who are rooted in the ideas that recognize that beauty is more than skin deep is revolutionary in this day and time. I’m not mad at that! Really … I understand.

She was passionate about hair before I met her. And it’s beautiful to see the community of open-minded, confident, intelligent, trailblazing hair aficionados that has developed and I hope to assist in its prospering.

Another reason I’m not gonna get upset is that I’m wise enough to write these blogs so that I can be included in her passion! (S.O.’s [Significant Others] take note … if it’s there or leaving or “maturing” [never say greying!] … YOU CAN’T BEAT THE HAIR!)

I learn more about this passion of hers too. As you can see … I’m a wash and go kinda dude … I take terrible care of my coif! But … I’m learning to take better care of it … but NO … I won’t be sharing hair care tips … sorry!

But if she lets me … I’ll write more blogs. So, let me know what you wanna hear about, ok? Please give me some ideas … because … the more blogs that I write, the less time that she has to spend writing. And the less time she spends writing …the better chance that I have to set up an evening with dinner and a movie … with our phones turned off. Ok, for real … dinner and a cartoon!

And don’t worry … after the date’s done … I won’t touch her hair.


CN Says;

My intern had the brilliant idea that we should solicit for stories/blogs written by the men in our lives (fathers, sons, brothers, husbands, boyfriends, besty), to get their perspective and an idea of how your transition or big chop effected him.

Shall we proceed?!

So go now, get his side of the story, email it to me —– and be entered in the monthly drawing to win a $50 CurlMart Giftcard! Let’s get him on the couch!


  • Niah says:

    Wow!!! I didnt know there was a meetup at Bohomian Caverns on the 27th!!! Count me and my beau in. 🙂

  • weusi says:

    sukiyaki …

    yes you are right. as a beneficiary of male privilege and this patriarchal society, i must be mindful of using language that belittles beauty that dwells within us all. in future writings i'll try to be more conscious of the language i use. BUT … for the record … i said … "beauty is more than skin deep."

    to others … thank you for all the responses and i've taken the note about writing something on the scarf thing! i hope to meet some of you in DC on 8/27 when i poke my head in at the Meet Up at Bohemian Caverns. oh yeah … please invite your Significant Others so that i'm not upstairs all alone stuffing my face at the bar … and as not to keep me from interrupting the hairscapades in the cavern!


  • Sukiyaki says:

    "Yes, you are part of a revolution! The organizing, development and education of a community of healthy-haired people who are rooted in the ideas that recognize that beauty is more than skin deep is revolutionary in this day and time."

    I might be reading too much into this quote, but when most people say "beauty is only skin deep" it is usually in response to something not perceived as beautiful. Going natural is not about deciding "I have undesirable hair, but I'm just going to deal with it and rock it". It's about recognizing the beauty that already exists, something many have been conditioned NOT to see or even hate and ridicule. I am not questioning his intent, but I think some words and phrases give clues to mindsets similar to "good hair, bad hair" mess, and that comment struck me as such.

    That said, I think this is a great idea for a series. I think one of the things newly natural's worry about when going with a beauty standard outside of the mainstream is the thoughts and opinions of men. It would be great to hear something positive, but I welcome all frank and honest discussion, even from men who are not on board with the natural look, as long as is is respectful and not demeaning.

  • Butterfly73 says:

    Love it! I would want to see more contributions from men

  • hairscapades says:

    That's my sweetie=). Glad you guys enjoyed the male perspective! I thought you would. Wei is soooo supportive of my obsession and so patient, always listening to me blabber on and on about hair stuff=). He's supposed to get some of his male friends to chime in on this stuff on my site too. So keep an eye out for the posts! We're still trying to come up with a name for his features. I had an idea, but he nixed it and said he'd come up with something better. I'm still waiting;-). And, I still owe him that date;-).


    (p.s. Totally can't wait to see what the other guys have to say and Nikki, I think Dr. Walton is up first!;-)

  • Anonymous says:

    This article was so refreshing! I'm sure there are countless husbands/boyfriends that would like to chime in on this. I know my husband will surely have some comments when I show him this article.

  • Anonymous says:

    Eh eh – You have an intern! Girl, you betta werk! *dust shoulders off*

    I love this idea! I agree with others, would love to hear your hubby's point of view.

  • Anonymous says:

    I agree, I would love to hear more from our men! I know my husband would love to spend both a Saturday AND Sunday evening with me, but one of them is always taken with my hair routine. I am trying to get him to go to the CN/Kim Coles event in L.A. this weekend. Anyone else bringing their significant others?

  • Jeannette says:

    That's a great idea. Contrary to many beliefs, there are MANY Men that love and prefer our natural hair.

  • Anonymous says:

    I knew that was Weusi!!!

  • Niah says:

    OMG! This is homie right here in DC. Weusi! Very smart guy and i love his point of view on so many things including the topic above. Great piece! *calling you now*. heehee!!! As he always says….SHINE!

    As far as getting the point of view from my S.O., on my big chop, i'm on it. I'm sure he has much to say since i just showed up at his door with a bald head one day. No explanation and surely no said reason before hand. This should be interesting. 😉

  • iri9109 says:

    i didnt know you had an intern! check you out! lol…but i think this is a good idea…

  • luvmylocs says:

    cute. great add to the blog. agree would like to see what your hubby thinks about your hairpassion.

  • Anonymous says:

    LOL!! I agree! I thoroughly enjoyed his point of view!! It was refreshing, enlightening, and entertaining! I also liked how he weaved in the history of the 70's Revolution!! And the first recommended topic…lol…I would love to see a male's perspective on that!!

  • TiAnna Mae says:

    You have an intern now??!!!??!! You go girl! What a blessing. I'm going to try to get my shy overworked husband on the couch. He talks about this all the time.

  • Anonymous says:

    Nikki, I would love to see a post written by your HUSBAND! For some reason, I think that would be highly entertaining 😉

  • Anonymous says:

    "Shall we proceed?!" YES INDEED!!! LOL! I'm always fascinated by what men actually think about our hair revolution — be their opinion good, bad, or indifferent. In this case, his story/interview was refreshing. I appreciated the backdrop & history of the 70s revolution period from his perspective and how that movement affected his appreciation for our natural hair movement. So Kudos to him!! My only question is… DOES HE HAVE A BROTHER/FINE BEST FRIEND/COUSIN??? Cause I'm mad he's taken! LOL!!!


  • Anonymous says:

    This is a fantastic idea…First topic " can you make love with scarf on" …from a male perspective.

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