Teresa writes:
Hey Nikki and Curly girls!
A few weeks ago my sister (a fierce and beautiful natural) and I were discussing how we are often approached by women of many races regarding our hair. Although we were approached just as often as relaxed heads, it seems like now the products we discuss are no longer marketed toward just black hair and so the women sparking these conversations are often in awe and more willing to try our natural product suggestions.
During our conversation she also pulled up the following YouTube video:
It’s not the original but a repost by another user… Black people, please stop hiding the butters! We had quite a laugh, but then also recognized that many were leaving negative comments regarding her rant. My question to the CN community is “should we feel flattered or angry that some people really do think we hold ancient beauty secrets reserved only for black people… and is it even appropriate to intervene when we see a biracial child (or any child for that matter) that clearly needs help caring for their skin or hair?
LOL! This lady is hilarious. The way she keeps a straight face, keeps you wondering and guessing. I find it flattering that people think we hold ancient beauty secrets, but we HAVE been trying to tell them, but they make fun of us (that's my experience). Growing up, it was a running joke amongst everyone that only black people would use something as thick and greasy as cocoa butter or mix petroleum jelly and lotion and the likes. We also look to other cultures for their beauty secrets i.e. all the ayurvedic regimen recommendations, as well as, many people follow a very Chinese way of how to live their lives with yoga and balance, etc. Do whatever works for you! I find it flattering!
tiannamae.blogspot.com
Last year, actually the day i committed to going natural b/c of a horrible salon experience, I looked helplessly on as a 5 yr old girl with the worstest,yes worstest dry, illshaped locs got a "wadh and trim" by a blk stylist in a multiracial salon. It was so apparent that her adoptive mom meant well but didn't know herself what she should expect. I so badly wanted to take the mom aside and offer advice, but a bit afraid that she might be insulted. I spotted them in town a couple months later,the little girl's hair was still a hotmess, but all i could do was shake my head.
Hilarious! She is not racist, I did watch the response video and she really is a trip. This isn't the first time I've heard this either and I posted the following humorus response on my blog earlier today:
YES, YES BLACK PEOPLE HAVE BEEN HOARDING BEAUTY SECRETS FOR CENTURIES! YES, WE'VE BEEN USING "THE BUTTERS" FOREVER AND A DAY GUESS WHAT ELSE WE'RE HIDING FROM YOU? THE OILS LADY, THE OILS! WE ROCKED ORGANIC INGREDIENTS LONG AGO…
WE'VE BEEN ON COCOA BUTTER, CASTOR OIL, BERGAMOT AND SHEA BUTTER FOR A HOT MINUTE AND A HALF….AND NOW YOU FREAKIN' KNOW, LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!! Love Shasha aka NaturalNow99
I'm surprised that she hasn't asked her man/hubby/baby daddy (or his family) for the 411. If she has a biracial child, her partner is black and comes from a black family. Lol!
LMAO!!!! This video was too funny! To answer the question to this video, no, I don't think we've kept the butters a secret. I just think we've found resources that benefit us because many retail products do not. I've noticed that shea butter has become more widespread as well. I don't make any suggestions to biracial children's parents or any parent of a child that has messed up hair. Usually parents will ask me and I'm willing to give tips and suggestions. In all, this video was so funny!!!
@Anonymous 7:09PM
Men! *exasperated sigh*
I completely agree with you – but she may have already tried talking to her partner. Some men say, "uh…that's her Mother's department"…. (REALLY?! IT'S YOUR CHILD TOO!)
Hopefully his Mother, Grandmother, Sister, Aunt, Cousin, family friend, or a well meaning bystander will come to the child's rescue! 🙂
Too funny. Hey, I wish more women would give up their secrets! I've been on the cocoa butter diet all my life because I scar so easily, and I still could use more tips to get rid of them. I'd love to be able to wear shorts at some point in my life.
This was funny… there was no secret, you just ignored us when we told you.
I found it hilarious! just shared it on my my FB page.
Have you ever seen Wanda Sykes "Ima Be Me." She talks about this issue and says it is why they just adopted white kids. She said, yeah, if something happens to me, I could not leave my baby's hair in the hands of that white woman. LOL.
My friends and I have always talked about staging an intervention on a white mom who had a kid with effed up hair. The last time we made that joke, about 2 mins later a kid whose never been combed afro (a little girl) had a baseball cap that was trying to stay on walked by. We nearly hit the floor but we really did want to drag the little girl to the ethnic hair care aisle and hit that hair with some grease and a comb.
But in my experience, the biggest offenders with the ash (b/c really, that depends on how dry your skin is naturally, and I do fine with lotion), are the Indians. If you want to see some people whose feet and hands always look like they were dipped in flour, peep some Indians. I started explaining to the ones that I know personally that they need to get a handle on their ash…b/c it is definitely not the business.
But yeah, I was like 98% sure that this lady had a black baby daddy and I never understand (and Wanda Sykes talks about this too) why those men won't take their kids to their mom or their sister or their aunt to get them looking right.
Hilarious….. This video had me LMAO. They're finally recognizing our beauty LOL. Always trying to copy our culture but don't want to be us. LOL
Her serious face just made it funnier.
This had me in tears! She was too serious and I couldn't help but to laugh because several Caucasians seem to think we all inherit some fountain of youth or that its in the food we cook lol
HILARIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! lolololol. And about her baby not being kidnapped b/c of ash? LOLOL I'm wheezing. Seriously tho if we would have said something like 5-10 years ago would anyone have listened or cared? nope.
Hilarious but can I tell you, I'm 45 and as black as the night and I just learned about shea and mango butter last year when I went natural. I did however, know about cocoa butter from birth.
I'm Caucasian with an adopted daughter from Ethiopia. She's 9 with very thick, kinky, dry 4B and I read here and elsewhere for us. I have learned a lot and her hair is beautiful. I also have dry, frizz prone hair and, as a teen and young adult, used to wander the ethnic aisles knowing that there must be a solution in there for me! Never found it, LOL. However, I have found some great information and products in learning to care for my daughter's hair. My hair looks great too!
In response to your question, I sometimes offer suggestions to adoptive moms, esp., when the child's hair type/texture is like my daughter's and/or looking a hot mess. I'll strike up a general conversation, include hair in it, and leave an opening for discussion (including the great natural salon in our city so they can get a fresh start). Sometimes they are interested and sometimes not. I don't offer, however, for moms with bi-racial kids or African or African American moms unless asked. I don't feel like I should/could, but I sure don't like seeing these lovely elementary school girls with broken, relaxed hair, hairline breakage from too many puffs, over dry frizz, etc. I have offered when asked by African American women or Caucasian moms with bi-racial kids and it has happened.
Hahahahahaha!!! My kids are biracial but I'm Black. My husband has NO idea what to do with our girls hair. I tried showing him how to detangle and twist their hair for bedtime, lets just say if I died tomorrow my girls would go through life with tortured hair or bald….
ha, ha, ha – I only really learned about shea butter when I went natural!
hehehe cute…I had to laugh when she said she could find her child by the trail of ash. GIRL..LOLOLOLO
-stop hiding the butters
OH OH ( Haitian style) White people been hiding the the tax breaks for years… we got to hide something !!! LOL…. As for the other secrets /home remedies… If you ask nicely maybe ..We'll share 🙂 LOL
This was hilarious! For some reason I find it refreshing to find white women who are comfortable "keepin' it real" with black folks.
My sister-in-law is white and my beautiful nephew has GORGEOUS ringlets…now. I had to offer to make stuff, send her links, told her when and how to comb and that shampooing isn't really all that necessary…but he's 2 and gets ultra dirty sometimes.
*don't hide the butters*…my co-workers are giving me the side eye from all my snickering.
@ Anon 1:41 AM..I agree LOL
I saw this a while ago…Hilarious! I have had people ask me without having to intervene. I feel bad for them. While our hair does not define us, we need our Temples (Bodies as a whole) to look acceptable and hair falls in the category for me. I will strike up a conversation and touch on the subject if they seem receptive. But if you get in a flowing conversation, most of the time they are trying to strike up the nerve to ask you themselves.
I got my kick for the day! She's so serious and I believe her…and I do believe there are more people of different ethnicities have been looking at how healthy naturals care for their hair. I have a white co-worker with 2b/c hair and I shared my pre-poo routine AND twisting method with her! She just feels her hair doesn't have enough body…well let me help you with that! I also have a Chinese co-worker with the most beautiful, thick, luscious head of hair…she's always asking me what I use in my hair! It's okay to share SOME secrets lol!
I nearly choked on my energy drink!! This was too funny!!
We, as women, have so much knowledge to share. I don't know if anyone has ever read Divided Sisters, but it' a great read. If we recognized our similarities and pulled our resources togethered we'd have a better world, or at least some fly looking kids! lol.
This video was flippin hilarious. She was clearly saying all these things as a compliment to how well black people manage to age and moisturize their skin. I don't see why anyone would be offended. But we all look at things differently so *shurigs*
Too funny! Brings back a memory about a conversation I had in the Whole Foods checkout line (before my TarJay carried KCCC) with the checkout clerk.
Girlfriend, who was white, asked what the story was with KCCC, since so many black ladies were buying it and they couldn't keep it on the shelves!
"Can white people use it?" she asked. She said she had a biracial child with curly hair.
I told her KCCC was the business and good for all curly hair types. I also suggested she LOOK AT YOUTUBE VIDEOS FOR TIPS ON USING KCCC AND STYLING HER BABY'S HAIR. Emphasis added for you readers.
I like to direct "inquiring minds" to specific types of YouTube TUTORIALS. I feel this is the best advice I can give any curly who asks me about my curly hair styling techniques.
It reminds me of that episode of the Dave Chapelle Show when Arsenio Hall was mad at the white people for not telling him how good the cheese was. LOL!!!!!!
WOW that was pretty funny. I am neither flattered nor insulted by all of this. It's her perspective and shoot, I didn't know about the butters myself until I went natural!
I could have sworn this topic was covered on here once before maybe in the forum part, could be wrong.. but it's still funny.
Okay, you all will hate me for this but, oh well….
While she is funny in her own right and I've seen this clip before, I just HATED the way she'd say "Blaaaaaaaiiiick people", all nasally and crap– it was driving me up the wall.
Also, I felt myself resenting the whole "You need to share what you know with us" part of her message. I kept feeling like, "Hell, I ain't got to share SHYT with you! Whiiiiiiite people have had all sorts of secrets that they ain't never, not nan time felt the need to share with us. You can get ashy enough to float away for all I care." If it's for helping out those hapless, little ashy biracial chirren, I'm all for that. But she made it sound like we're under some obligation to share with her. I. Ain't. Sharin'. Shyt. Let us have SOMETHING, dang!
Of course, I'm PMS'ing, so I'm probably liable to take just about anything personally today. 🙂
this too funny!! white ppl now is discovering why black ppl dont crack when we get older.
I started cracking up about a minute in and had to stop watching. lmfao at this chick.