Google Header -->
Skip to main content
Curly Nikki

On the Couch with Laurent

By January 27th, 202121 Comments

On the Couch with Laurent
Being a guy, there’s always a stigma associated with having longish hair. Add mixed to the equation and you’ve got all out controversy. Girls always say, “did you get a perm or texturize your hair, because your hair is two different textures”. Guys assume that because you have hair, it’s a perm or a wig. But my question is why are guys with hair such a big deal? The African American communities, in particular look at you like you’re an alien because you don’t have your hair braided or faded. I think that in America you should have the freedom to express yourself whichever you see fit, that being said let me tell you about a mixed boy’s journey to taming and embracing his naturally red curly/wavy straight-ish hair.

Growing up I also fell into the mindset that because I was a guy I should have my hair short. But due to the fact that I’ve got a head the size of a small planet, that mindset changed quickly. Through some exploring of my genetic make-up when I was in high school, I found I was tri-racial, (having strong roots in three primary ethnic groups); those being Somalian, Native American, and Irish. So from this new found knowledge, I decided to do some exploring of my cultures and had a culture shock literally. I found that in Native American Tribes men with long hair symbolized strength, honor, and health. These realizations affirmed that I could have long hair and be proud, and that I should be an individual and ignore conformity imposed by a Eurocentric society which is America.

So this led me to a gut-wrenching journey of frying and torturing my hair. Being mixed sometimes you have an array of different textures. My hair on top was straight with a bit of wave and spiral curly in the back. So my solution was to fry it with a flat iron and make it all one texture. This ended up killing my hair leaving it lifeless, brittle and dry. This continued for 3 years, which led us up to February 2011 when I decided to take control of my hair. I did hours upon hours of research and found out some great methods to tame that hair.

• First I learned don’t wash your hair unless necessary.
• Second forget satin or cotton, stick to silk.
• Third no combing, only poof’s your hair and breaks it off more.

• Fourth use only natural products in your hair, because anything else will just petrify it.

• Fifth invest in a hair steamer, your hair will love you and thrive.
• Sixth if you have gotten some good growth don’t flat-iron it to death, be careful and keep it to a minimum.

• My seventh and final tip is to condition, condition, condition, and don’t forget CONDITION!

On the Couch with LaurentOn the Couch with Laurent


  • BekkaPoo says:

    I had an ex with very similar hair to yours, Laurent.. My ex was Kenyan and Ashkenazi Jewish. You have gorgeous hair.

  • Mila says:

    1)I feel as if the comments here are tinged with negativity. I don't know why. People, genes are NEVER as clear cut as 1 + 1.
    2) Mr. Laurent, props to you for embracing what you have. You have beautiful, I-wanna-reach-out-and-touch-it hair; that colour's like fire! (and you are burnin it up :D)

  • Anonymous says:

    This is why I would never do an "on the couch" here, or any other hair blog. People want to pick, pick, pick everyone apart.

  • Anonymous says:

    Negative Chicks are everywhere these days…How in the world can you see his roots, you're not there ?!! Do you have "Special Equipment" to let you see his hair, because pictures don't mean a thing sometimes especially when they aren't close ups. I can take a picture of my hair now and people would think It's one thing when It's actually silky looking texture but I'm able to make It look very big, dull, and you would think i have much kinkier hair with the amount of teasing i can do…Get over yourselves I'm sick of you chicks that always search for something bad!


  • Jor-El says:

    Glad to see another guy joining the discussion!

  • Laurent says:

    That is my natural color people. I have auburn hair, when its in the sun its reddish and it looks brown when its not. My hair texture is 3a on top and a 3b-3c in the back.

    Also to the naysayers I say mixed because my mother is white and Native American and my dad is Somalian with a bit of Irish. So my hair is a little odd at times. My roots look rough but for some reason my top is very loose on top and have problems getting it to go curly like in the back.

    @Anonymous with the wavy hair on top and spiral in the back, When I wear my hair I just scrunch a lot on top to make it all look somewhat uniformed.

  • Anonymous says:

    yea I agree with a lot of the other posters. A: what does being "multiracial" (as MOST black americans are) have to do with embracing your natural hair texture? and B: What is your real texture because in these pics your hair is obviously blowdried/flatironed and then curled.

  • Anonymous says:


  • Anonymous says:

    what is your hair type cause it looks like blow dried twist out on 4a hair.

  • Anonymous says:

    wow i guess you cant judge a person by their hair, looking at your texture i would never imagine that you were Somalian irish and native american. also i was surprise at your comment being that a majority of brother wear locks braids and even on the west coat perms in fact i live in NY and i see alot of brothers with blown straight pony tails and i never looked at the side ways nor does anyone else, you should come to NY. GREAT HAIR COLOR

  • Anonymous says:

    Why is it every time someone mentions they are from a multi-ethnic background, some black folks get highly offended? Why do these people get so troubled when they hear about someone's cultural background? It is what it is, people! Why do these multi-ethnic people have to deny part of their heritage to ease your insecure mind?

    In case you're wondering…I'm African American and both of my parents are Black. But, I show respect for others who may have parents from different cultures. Why can't others do the same? What is the big deal? That is the question!

  • Carla says:

    I'm curious about the color too, though I'm guessing its natural.

  • Anonymous says:

    Can we put an end to the idea that biracial or multiracial have this special category of hair that those of us with two black parents (using the American definition here) do not? I know that people love to call their hair "mixed hair but it's a very meaningless term, just like saying you have "black" hair just tell us that you call yourself a black person. Now with You Tube and all of these blogs, anyone who hadnt' gotten the memo about all of the ways that "black" hair can look is basically blind.
    The biggest challenge a lot of kids who have a non-black mom face is that said mom cannot do curly or afro-textured hair. While this is not universal (and I went to a slamming hairdresser who took the time to learn what she was doing), it is a BIG problem. Of course, I'm not going to let black moms off the hook as it seems that many of them were slapping relaxers on the heads of 2-5 year olds.
    But yeah, the kids I knew who had a black mom and a dad of another race always had nicely done hair, no matter what kind of hair they had happened to pop out with, and trust me, it can vary from super kinky to silky straight just like ours.

    On another note, this guy looks familiar…is he in entertainment or something?

  • Anonymous says:

    Curious to hear about the products you use. My mother is from Armenian (Russia) origin, my father is from central Africa, my hair is straight to wavy in the front and sides, and there's one patch in the back that's very curly (spirals, maybe 3c) and i always have trouble taming that patch in relation to the other type of hair that's easy to work with. Any advice will be welcome! I don't have a lot of hair, and using oil makes it look even less full.

    I love this site, this site helped me decide to stop straightening my hair.

  • Anonymous says:

    Congrats on your "just be you" attitude and sorry that you were surrounded by naysayers who were projecting their own narrow view of the world on to you. Long hair is just that – long hair – not good or bad. And depending on the time in which you grew up may even have been favored among the hip set (oops, showing my age).

    Wear it loud and proud my friend and keep digging through your roots. There are bound to be many stories of resilience and strength in your Somalian (aka African), Irish, and Native American history.

  • Anonymous says:

    Why are you worried about what the African American community thinks when you didn't even list African American as one of your ethnicities?

  • luvmylocs says:

    cool that you looked into your ancestry and learned more about the ancestrial implications of your hair and that you are living outside the box on how you wear your hear. it looks nice and healthy.

  • Mahagony Chicas says:

    Adorable! I love your hair!

  • Anonymous says:

    Beautiful hair and great tips!

  • Anonymous says:

    I love the color do you dye or henna?

  • LaMaraVilla says:

    Really???? LMAO!

Leave a Reply