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Curly Nikki

Are You Discriminating With the Hair Advice You Receive?

By January 27th, 2021225 Comments
And the winners are…

Nkoyo Robinson
Rhonda C.
qubilah shabazz

Congrats divas!!! Shoot me an email with your addresses and I’ll connect you with Threadmill so you can pick out your hats!

by Kurlybella of

When mentally going through my roster of friends who are as crazy about hair as I am, I realize that MANY of my naturally curly and kinky girl friends do not have the same texture of hair as me. Some have looser, wavier hair, while others, proudly wear their tight kinks which though tight are much looser than my pen spring coils. Our hair also ranges in coarseness and length and some of them even have blonde, red and light brown hair.

After the post and conversation we had about helping other naturals with damaged hair, I thought about the hair advice that I get from my friends. Once, talking to a wavy-haired friend of mine about hair styles, she gave me some ideas for some styles to try that were similar to the fish tail braids she’d been rocking and she also threw in a few other tidbits about some curl defining hair products she’d been trying. not long after our conversation, I picked up a few of the products and had success with most of them.

Like me, she is discerning with what she uses on her hair and like me her hair is coarse and fine and hates shampoo. To the outside world looking in, our hair is nothing alike, but we both know this is the farthest thing from the truth. Like she does with me, when I find a product that hits the jackpot, I usually call her up and in product pusha fashion, get her excited enough to go out and buy it for herself.

Every now and then, when I’m in whole foods looking for hair products a woman will approach me to ask me what i put on my hair “to make it look so good.” More often than not, these women are not black and do not have a hair curl pattern that is close to mine. Usually I point to what I’m buying, have a conversation to explain why I like the product and said woman usually ends up walking off with it in her cart. I never think that when she is asking me for advice if she is thinking about how my hair is so different from hers. I think, here is a curly woman who wants advice from another curly woman.

I know there are some naturals who don’t buy products marketed for “white people’s hair” – nor would they ever take advice from another natural who didn’t have their same texture or skin tone. I’ve even had readers email me stating their disappointment that i showcase products from lines like Paul Mitchell and Giovanni. “Their hair is different and this is just the truth,” was what one reader shared.

For me, if a natural woman knows her hair, is up on quality ingredients and how curly hair responds to hair products then I’m all ears and wallet. At the end of the day, it’s the education that matters and not the texture or background of the curly-haired woman.

What say you? Are you less likely to listen or take advice from a natural who has a significantly different hair texture than yours? Or are you all ears no matter the texture of the natural? Are you discriminating with advice given?

Are You Discriminating With the Hair Advice You Receive?
***Comment below for your chance to win a super cute slouchy beanie or tam from Threadmill. I’ll randomly choose 5 curlies to win the goods! This contest is open to US curlies only and closes on October 12th at 5pm EST.***


  • Habiba Kaba says:

    It really depends WHO its coming from and the setting… not just the hair. if its another brown lady or a lady from a culture where tightly curled/ kinky hair is common we can chat! However, when engaged in what seems to be great hair talk with someone whose culture doesnt have that kind of hair at all normall, like a white lady, desi, middle eastern lady (not counting N AFrican like Egyptian/ moroccan/ algerian), it usually gets awkward. Too many times ive found myself stuck in hair politics/black hair 101 situations that started out as, i love X product. or. ur hair looks great, what do u use? it always starts like that and it usually ends up with "i know this might be weird, but can i ask u a question…" then all hell breaks lose with people making irritating assumptions observations about hair. so, im not against people having those discussions, but i know that i just dont have the patience or the desire to deal with or educate someone on something that has nothing to do with them… unless they have some little mixed babies. just being honest.

  • honeybrown1976 says:

    I'm an info junkie. I'll accept good, positive info from any natural curly heads. However, to stay sane, I do filter according to any needs I may have.

  • Miriam A says:

    I think I am discriminatory. Sad to say but it is true; I don't think I would go and ask a 3c girl what products she uses on her hair despite the fact that she might have fine and porous strands, but thick hair such as myself. This is something I will definitely think about the next time I see a woman whose hair does not look exactly like mine.

  • Janique says:

    I think I would discriminate if it comes to certain styles that I know wouldn't work the same on my hair texture. It would also depend on the length of hair of the person offering advice as well. I don't want to end up disappointed because it didn't turn out well for me.

  • Afrikan Latina says:

    I'll take advice for any natural, it doesn't mean I have to implement it. The advice given could be tweaked to suit what my hair needs. I WILL NOT take advice from someone who has never seen their own natural hair lol

  • Anonymous says:

    When I first started to transition I did so by force, or shall I say going natural was the best alternative for my damaged hair. It was like I woke up one day and all my hair was broken and damaged. I had no idea what to do next; I mean at one point I was under the assumption that I could put some form of product on my hair that would make it revert back to it's natural state. I started to educate myself about how and what I needed to make this journey/transition as smooth as possible and with that came the many suggestions and referrals of others. Living in Oklahoma City it's like we're the last place on earth to know about anything. Especially when it's involving ethnic alternatives. Intially I didn't discriminate as I desperately needed help. I would take advice from anyone that had healthy hair regardless of race or hair type. After several failed products, countless wasted dollars and a few courses of PJA (product junkie anonymous. I now tend to gravitate toward following advice toward those that have a similar hair type as mine. I am still in the phaze of trying to understand what works the best for my hair and at times I feel so frustrated with it that I just want to cry. It's so bad sometimes that I consider relaxing again. Overall I'd say I do a little bit of both at times. My name is Leigh

  • Shakira says:

    Well Nikki I must admit I discriminate at times. Only because I wonder how some one of my ethnicity could have a more manageable curl pattern than mine. I ask myself "did she texturize because her hair is way too curly." Shallow much? But I give advice to women of different hair types all because it all boils down to how you treat your hair. Be good to it and it will be good to u! And I must add I take your adivce all the time even though my curl pattern if different from yours. I never exoect to wake up with hair like Nikki….rather just healthy hair like Nikki.

  • fabwtalk says:

    Myself and a friend do take advice from one another and sometimes will buy the products that the other has suggested. On the other hand when it comes to techniques we more then likely will not use what the other has suggested becuase I am fine textured and she isn't. It's great to be open minded but it's also great to know your own hair care needs.

  • Anonymous says:

    I enjoy listening and learning from everyone. Although my hair type may be different from the one sharing, I am all ears! One's suggestions may be helpful to my daughters' hair (which we are all different types) or other friends and family. I may not run out and buy everything that is suggested, but I will research their recommended products to see if it would be right for my hair type.


  • ThickHair1429 says:

    Hi Nikki! As long as the advise comes from someone with healthy/beautiful hair, I am all ears! I only buy product recommendations from someone with my or similar hair type because I am on a tight budget and can't afford to try everyone's product recommendations!

  • Anonymous says:

    I'm generally open to most advice from others who appear to have a healthy head of hair and will try things as I see fit. When I'm giving advice I want to make sure that other curlies realize that what works for me may not work for them.


  • JollyJoy says:

    Different strokes for different folks is my motto but I defintitely will listen and may even try some advice of others. I just love to talk hair.

  • Monica L. says:

    I listen to all advise but I definitely dont use all advise. I may try something once even if it sounds crazy because it just might work.

  • YoursTruely says:

    Im open to advice from any natural… I’m more concerned with the healthiness of hair overall vs the curl pattern of the person whom I receiving it from…regardless of what your curl pattern is if your hair does not appear to be healthy than I probably wont be taking any advice from you….

  • Bianca says:

    I listen to all hair advice from women of African descent. Not everyone has my hair texture. Curly Nikki certainly does not have my texture, but sometimes you can learn things to do for your own hair through the contrast with someone else's issues… I find I baby my hair more taking advice from people whose hair is even more delicate than my own for example.
    I can't say I would completely listen to a Caucasian woman with curly hair, because I feel they have different hair issues for the most part…but my ears are open…

    I have actually learned so much about how to really take care of my hair from listening to all sorts of women online over the past 2 1/2 years…and i am grateful for that!

  • Shana says:

    It doesn't matter to me if their hair is straight, curly or kinky, as long as it's healthy I'm open to advice; that doesn't mean I will definitely take your advice.

  • Ms. Lioness says:

    GUILTY as Charged! Guilty, Guilty, GUILTY! but it's not intentional, really it isn't. I haven't pin-pointed my hair type or category that my constantly shedding and tangling, slow growing, can't pinpoint it's curl pattern or porosity, has no weight and seems extremely fine hair falls into. I may say 4b, with a small patch of 4a at the nape of my neck, but definitely has identify crisis issues with its 4c tendencies.

    It's funny because I usually get the side eye when I talk to others about how I care for my hair, but the few times I leave my delicate tresses in the hands of a professional stylist, I'm always told, "Your hair is very healthy so keep doing what you are doing". Ok, so I do. Considering I've had maybe an inch of hair trimmed in the last two and a half years that I have been growning my "healthy" hair long, I will say my research has served me well.

    As a general rule of thumb, I just stick to what I want my hair to feel or look like when I've used the product. I've been known to disregard the "popular" products and lean towards what makes my hair "twist and shout" (or maybe that's just me). Most have been natural products and some (used spariingly) not so natural. Since I don't want anything that can "potentially" contain something that will damage my hair (insert analness here), making my own stuff or buying organic, natural, etc tends to work for me.

    Lets close by saying I will "never say never" (as funny as that statement is). It may be possible to love something recommended by a curly girl from the 2 or 3 family or the affectionately coined "white-people" products but as I'm defining my staples, I have seen the best results when I stick to my own kind (my 4's peoples – stand up!!) lol. In the end, love the journey, the good (hair is just ooh la la) the bad days (can I do-OVER?), and the ugly (when reaching for the protective wig is NOT an option). Just remember you will learn to appreciate the knowledge you've acquired in the end.

  • brittneydh says:

    I listen to hair advice but I am very very reserved about what I try. Things are expensive so I refuse to pay a lot for something and not like it. So I am new but have been very reserved with the advice I listen too.

  • Anonymous says:

    I listen to the advice and then do research before I go any further. Not to discriminate, but because I've always been that careful…even if the individual has similar hair to my own.

    What I really can't stand is when people give advice and get offended when I don't take their word as gospel. I don't think there's anything wrong with taking a step back and thinking through before doing anything that may require spending extra money.

  • Anonymous says:

    When are we going to learn that curl pattern doesn't matter when it comes to what products you use? Its all about texture (course, medium, or fine), porosity (high, medium, low) and density.

    I use certain brands from Oyin to Garnier to Curl Junkie, and if it doesn't work with my texture and porosity, then the product wont work no matter what my curl pattern is.

  • Anonymous says:

    When are we going to learn that curl pattern does not determine what products you use? Its all about porosity, density and texture, not curl size.

    I use brands from Oyin to Garnier and it a product doesn't work for my high porosity, medium textured hair, it just wont work no matter what my curl pattern is.

  • this girl aint cool says:

    I try not to discriminate on whose advice I'll take based on appearances. A year and a half into my journey, I have learned to be open to advice but see how and where it aligns with my hair and my hair goals. Thanks Nikki!
    *Tasha S.

  • Keisha J. says:

    I pick and choose the information that I get from others. But learning what others use is great especially if they have found something that works for them and it could possibly work for me. But we all try to find what works best for each one of us.

  • Renee A. says:

    I am open to advice and willing to listen as long as they 1)are natural just like me 2)was natural at some pt 3)are a bomb ass stylist who has experience w/natural hair. Other than that, prob not. I am willing to give products a chance if I feel as though something may benefit my tays, whether it be a product or routine.

  • Young Suburban Mom says:

    I take advise from all curly hair types. I listen to my hair and undertand now what it likes and doesn't like. So, I'm not going to discriminate just because we don't have the same length or texture.

  • Anonymous says:

    I tend to shy away from those with a different hair type than mine. In my mind I'm thinking, whatever you're doing is not going to work for me. I probably shouldn't be that way, but I have to be honest and say that I'm a discriminator. 🙁

  • Anonymous says:

    Oops, I probably should have put my name ~Monica ( I just commented)

  • Anonymous says:

    I will listen to any advice and I may try it, however, I do like to take advice from women in the same hair type because it could possibly save me money. I am working on a college girl budget so I am trying to stay away from stores or the internet because something might accidentally fall into my shopping cart! I absolutely love being able to log onto women's blogs and youtube to learn so much about natural hair. I've bought a few things that CurlyNikki uses such as Aubrey Organics condish and Say Yes to Carrots and Say Yes to Cucumbers. I will try anything once when it comes to hair products. I am a product junkie #help!

  • Anonymous says:

    The comment above PrettyAKAAmplished. Sorry about that….she posted so fast.

  • Anonymous says:

    Oh…and the comment above is mine -Elaine…just can't use my google for some reason. It won't let me.

  • PrettyAKAmplished says:

    I am open to all ideas and tips regardless of the recommenders hair texture/type. I approach hair care with the knowledge that every thing I try may not work for me. I don't mind the trial and error process. However, when I find something that really works I rarely replace it with another product.

  • Anonymous says:

    Definitely discriminate advice. I also google scholar, google, yahoo, blog search it before using anything someone recommends 🙂

  • cassburt88 says:

    I'm usually open to the advice from a fellow curly. I would research the recommended product and read reviews of it before I commit to buying it though. However, I would be a little skeptical of advice or products a woman of a different race would recommend; that's just me. But if the researched looked good, I may try it.

  • MixedCurly says:

    While I listen to hair advice no matter what hair type the person giving the advice is, I tend to actually try and follow the advice given by people with hair type like mine. I think think that I tend to follow their advice because I believe that it has a better chance of working for me because our hair types are similar.

  • Angela says:

    I tend to listen to most advice but may not follow up unless the reasoning makes sense for my hair. Recently, a relaxed friend of mine suggested I use Miss Jessies because she heard other curlies mention it. I listened but for me, the ingredients don't jive with the price so I most likely will never use it. But I listened.

  • Unknown says:

    Oooo I LOVE that beanie perfect for this Fall/Winter season ♥

    I am more likely to take advice from someone who knows her hair and what works for it as opposed to someone who is just product promoting based on hear say. It doesn't matter her race or ethnicity as we all are mixed and therefore have a wide range of curls even on our own head, no two curls alike. ☺

  • Nina says:

    when it comes to specific hair products, I find that I take advice more from women with the same texture. When it comes to hair styles, techniques and hair tools, I will take advice from all textures.

  • Deborah says:

    I am more likely to discriminate and not heed the advice from a natural with completely different texture. Although our needs may be similar, the products used to satisfy those needs would be completely different. Additionally, a person with different texture may have completely different needs than my textured hair.

  • Andrea says:

    I believe I'm more inclined to take advice from someone who has a similar textureas mine.

  • tisha says:

    YUP I discriminate – I like advice from people whose texture is the same as mine, I feel like I can relate MUCH better

  • Naturally Nita says:

    I don't discriminate. I'll listen to advice and recommendations because I'm still learning what my hair likes. I agree with Sheena Johnson that I'm more likely to listen to someone who's hair is healthy than someone who's hair is not.

  • Anonymous says:

    To me it is not about black or white products, but about curly or straight hair. If a straight haired friend raves about a product, I am not getting it. If she finds it to greasy, I will take a look at it. My strands are thick, a lot of VO5 products are like water on my hair, but a lot of curlies like it.

    I listen to people that have similar issues that I do – thick, hard to moisturize strands and low porosity hair – rather than the curl appearance, except for straight haired folks. Almost always discount. I am just being honest.

  • Anonymous says:

    I dont discriminate! They may know something that can really help my hair. I take advice from anyone who dishes it! I always give suggestions to others and my hair texture is different from theirs.

    Michelle aka Mickey

  • CocoaCurlyCoils says:

    When I first began this journey I was less inclined to take advice or pointers from curlies with different textured hair. However now I am definitely open to suggestions and advice from everyone. Although our hair texture is different sometimes my hair response even better than theirs to certain techniques and products. I have always tried products that are not necessarily manufactured for African American hair and still have great results!

  • Sheena Johnson says:

    To be honest, I may be less inclined to listen to the advice of someone with a different texture than someone with a similar, but I don't necessarily count out the advice. For instance, if I have fine hair, I may want to seek the advice of someone with fine hair. However, the advice of someone with thick hair may also prove beneficial.

    Also, another factor is the health of someone's hair. IF someone has a healthy head of hair, I will be more incline to listen despite hair texture. I guess its situational.

  • Anonymous says:

    Yes i sure do! In fact we discrimintae everyday: what to eat,wear ,who to hang out with,what sites to go on, what products to use etc…. I will be open to advice but if the person's hair isn't healthy and thriving then i will not follow it.

  • qubilah shabazz says:

    I tend to listen to someone that has a similar hair texture, especially with conditioners. Most of my natural friends use shampoos with a lot of slip, but I have to be careful because my curls are looser and the conditioner will weigh my curls down. Same for Coconut Oil. I used it while transitioning, but now I find it hard to do so without it being mixed into something. I also do my own research and decide on what products I want you use. That way I can judge from what I see and not from what I'm supposed to see.

  • fitz_nikki says:

    I'm always up for suggestions and advice about natural hair. But I would lean more towards advice from someone who had a similar hair texture as me or a person who professionally cares for natural hair. I've only been on this natural hair journey for 10mos, so i'll take all the advice I can get.

  • Shana B says:

    I'll listen to the advice of anyone who seems to know their stuff, but I do tend to be more receptive to those who have a texture similar to mine. There seems to be a smaller representation of us fine-haired naturals online (*sigh* what I would give for fuller, thicker hair…) so when I come across one, I'm definitely listening…and probably running to the store to grab the products they're using! 🙂

  • Balls Of Beauty says:

    i dont discriminate on advice but i still look towards someone with a more identical texture as mine! i know dmn well i cant do or use what finer hair curlies use yet their methods maybe workable!

  • Thrifty curly says:

    Im such a curly hair lush,to the point it's pass a weekly O.H.I.A(Over Hair Indulgence Anonymous) I love all curlies from the wavy to the kinky coily.I've learn different techniques, products, and styles from them all and all their different techniques have help build what I can now call my hair regimen. Everyone have learn how to care for their hair from simple trial and error. Some have stopped me from causing major harm to my hair and others have taught me what not to do.So I said all of that to say it doesn't matter the type of curls on your head just as long as the products/advice are good and the style/ technique will cause no harm or damage.

  • foxyr says:

    I would take advice from another curly girl, if she has beautiful and healthy hair that retains length. If this is the case, it obvious to me that she is doing something right with her hair and I would love to know her beauty secrets. Also, I definitely use hair products that are not specifically made for afro-textured hair with relative success. I don't think a person's race should be considered when choosing a hair product at all.

  • Morgan Murphy says:

    My best friend has a looser curl than mine, and so does my sister. Their curl size resembles a ribbon, while mine are the size of a pinky finger when defined. Though our hair have completely different textures, I still am open minded when it comes to recommendations of products and techniques. My best friend is in love with Redken products, and when I got the chance I tried the line and was very pleased with the results. Her technique on styling hair does not work for me, but I still gave it a shot. I'm always open to different methods that any curly girl raves about. I feel that it doesn't hurt to try. If I do see someone with a similar texture to mine and I love their look, I'd be more inclined to ask them how they style their hair, but that does not mean I would count out anyone who doesn't have a similar texture.

  • luvnM3naturally says:

    I'm generally open to advice from all textured curlys for general hair care. BUT when when I'm need of specific advice for my type 4 texture I seek out those of the same.

  • taizmorena says:

    I love that as naturals, we can share our good & bad hair experiences to each other, regardless of texture. Ultimately though, trial & error is the only way to know for sure what works/doesnt work. Ive learned that just because a natural looks like she has hair like me doesnt mean a product or technique she uses will work for me. Its important to figure out our own specific hair needs and go from there.

  • Ms. Sassy says:

    I will take advice and tips from ladies with a different hair type than mine. Depends on the nature of the advice. There are certaind things I know my hair will not and can not do! lol .I will admit it is hard to compare techniques with someone who has different textures, but I remember giving advice to a friend for her daughter's hair. Here hair was wavy but she said my tips really helped…go figure!

  • Anonymous says:

    From: sensaweeme
    I am new to all the advice so i listen and then try what i can afford!!

  • bertagnolli_bride says:

    It depends on the other curly's hair needs. Their texture may be different, but I find myself still open to suggestions if our hair needs are the same–for instance if we're both seeking extra moisture or sheen. It's amazing that as different as our curls are, we can sometimes still share common success with the same products.

  • T says:

    I've never received any advice before and experimented with stuff on my own. I would consider what a friend offers, but I know what works for me already.

  • Anonymous says:

    It depends on what their hair looks like. If it appears that they take care of their hair then I will at least hear them out seriously. I can't take anyone serious who does not show any concern for their own tresses.

  • MissFreddy8705 says:

    Honestly I discriminate but not necessarily because another curly is white. If the person giving the advice has a different texture than mine I am more likely not to follow up with the advice. Not saying this is always the case but for the most part it tends to be true.

  • Anonymous says:

    i tend to take advised from curlies who texture is similar to mine, i just feel like they will understand my issues more than someone who's texture is totally different than mine

  • ms. black latina says:

    I am all ears but cognizant of the fact that texture matters. If your texture matches mine, my ears perk up when my curlfriend has the same texture. I am just saying . . .

  • AsyahKinks says:

    I woud say that I am all ears. I take the advice and then i alter it to what I feel like would work best for me! I myself also love to give advice to people who i see are transitioning!

  • Michelle @Radiant Brown Beauty says:

    I won't lie. I do discriminate. I don't take any hair advice from anyone who has not proven they can grow or maintain their own hair. If the hair is short, not by choice, I basically ignore everything that's being said.

    For me, it's as if a fat person tells me how to lose weight. I don't want to hear it. Don't hate. I'm honest about my feelings.

  • Estelle says:

    I listen to it all!

  • Anonymous says:

    I enjoy advice from all who has curly hair. I find that there advise could help in a area of difficulty for me. It is important to me to find things that are healthy and supportive my hair growth. If that comes from a curly with wave, kinky, coily, curly hair then I am willing to listen. Hey you never know what you might find helpful to you along the journey.

  • Amanda M. says:

    I'm open to advice from everyone because every curl is different. As long as the advice seems healthy you never know what could work until you try.

  • Tiffany Cummings says:

    I'm open to trying new things. Granted, every product doesn't work for everyone but, I wouldn't be as informed about a lot of the products I've tried during my time being natural. I think as a natural you have to have enough sense not to go out and try every, single, hair product but still have that willingness to try new things.

  • MissYasmin says:

    I've been natural for roughly 2 years now, so I'm pretty happy with my staple products/hair regimen at this stage. However, I'm still open to take advice – just mostly hair style advice these days.

  • Tara Shenéa says:

    I'm open to any and all advice from any Naturalista whose hair looks good, healthy, and styled well. If they handle whatever texture(s) they have on their head well, they can have my undivided attention. But them other broads with their tresses looking like hay dry matted sheep's ass and barely styled? Girl bye!

  • RayRae82 says:

    I look for advice from type 4's because my hair tends to like what they like but I look at blogs and forum topics from all kinds of naturals/relaxed/texlaxed ladies and men. I think having a broad knowlege of hair is good. I do try products from reviews by type 2 and 3 and have found some products that work for my hair. So no I don't discriminate but I do tend to lean toward type 4s more.

  • Dana says:

    I'm open to any and all advice from any curly regardless of his/her texture. I'm more interested in whether the person giving the advice has the same porosity, density or what-have-you versus texture because certain products could benefit us both or cause trouble for us both! I just like to talk about all things hair; healthy hair that is!

  • Dana says:

    This comment has been removed by the author.

  • LaLa says:

    My main concern with my hair is to grow it healthy and with that being said I will listen to advice from naturals of any hair type with healthy, thriving hair.

  • YoursTrulyRe says:

    I am not biased of the texture but more of the health of the hair. How can someone with unhealthy hair or hair that just looks a hot mess inform me of how I need/should take care of my hair.

  • Beautiful Mess says:

    Honestly, I do discriminate when it comes to Youtube videos. I love learning about every texture of curly hair but when looking for ideas or advice, I'm not watching someone who has hair that is mostly loose ringlets when mine is tightly coiled… or someone with really delicate, fine strands when 99% of my strands are the first cousin of barbed wire. I usually find that their protein heavy conditioners leave my hair crunchy (Yay, protein sensitivity!) and as they avoid butters, my hair LOVES them. Even in styling, if my fellow curly has no "kink", just "curl", certain styles have the potential to look sooo different. Flat twists on a 3c natural with long hair are really pretty to me. Flat twists on me are a HOT MESS and I wouldn't wear them out of the house… They're just really fuzzy if they're anything other than very small and the shrinkage is RIDICULOUS.

    Bottom line, I do discriminate but not without reason. I do what works for me. It's like a model said when asked about her best fashion advice… Dress for YOUR body type. Wear something that flatters what YOU are working with. I merely do the same for my hair 🙂

  • Shavontia C. says:

    I've been transitioning for the past 13 months, but this is the first time I've actually paid attention to all of the info that people have! But I love it!!! It can definitely be overwhelming at times, especially with these relaxed ends, but needless to stay once i find things that work, it's exciting! I understand that it's a journey, and just because I may get advice from someone with or without similar textures to mine, i never discount it until I take into consideration about what I DO know about my own hair! The community has been so helpful and I freak out when I meet a kind-hearted/headed naturalista w/ great advice!!! (besides, my hair is like 3 different textures ranging from 3a-4c…lol. So I HAVE to listen to everyone…lol)

  • Monica S. says:

    I'm open to advice, as long as I feel it is "healthy" advice. However, I do have a current routine in place so I try not to stray far from what I already have going.

  • naturallyu says:

    I believe I am more prone to following the advice of people with a similar hair texture to mine regarding styling options however, with product advice I normally stick to the same products that I have always used. I usually don't follow the bandwagon with hair products no matter what the hair texture. I'm pretty boring with my product rotation. Every now and then I might add something new but I pay attention to the ingredients of the product rather than a testimonial. #prettyboringwithhairroutine

  • Anonymous says:

    I'm open to pretty much anything someone recommends who's hair looks good. Once I hear their opinion, I check out what's in the product, then a lot of times I'll see if I can get a sample of it. I've never been one to discriminate because this product is made for "white hair" or "black hair". My hair loves Giovanni leave in conditioners, but at the same time loves some of keracare naturals, QB…I could go on…. You really just can't know until you try it.


  • Victoria J says:

    I listen to what others have to say, no matter what their curl pattern. But I have learned over time what is best for MY hair. Curlies like Curly Nikki, Naptural85 and Tranaturraly have taught me so much in my hair journey.

  • Kandace says:

    For the most part I'm pretty open to others suggestions, even if their hair is completely different from mine. The only time I discriminate is if the advice is obviously bad for the health of my hair. But otherwise, I don't knock it until I try it!

  • mizcreativelyme says:

    i'm open to listening to all curlies, regardless of texture. but when it comes to product i can recognize that 'what works for one does not work for all.'

  • CurlyInTheCity says:

    I'm open to advice, especially from those who have the "hair qualities" I have and/or trying to achieve. I'd be more accepting of tips from someone whose curls look healthy, hydrated, and vibrant(my goal) versus someone whose curls look a lil' thirsty(no bueno)…I'm just sayin'

  • Anonymous says:

    Two weeks ago I had the best conversation with a curly girl whose curls were completely different than mine. I was surprised she was familiar with the products I was buying. I am learning to be less discriminating & more open to hear what other hair types are sharing about products and hair, in general.
    Allnatural1 (Michelle in TX)

  • DiJah says:

    I dont discriminate against anything (hair products, people, you name it, i won't…)…When i decided to go natural, I already knew which hair gel to use (ECO-Styler) because thats the one I was using when I had a perm and it worked great!, but i was willing to try Let's Jam and Got2Be gel, among others because my cousins and some associates who are of another race and had a different texture suggested it. I'm the type of person who will try something at least once (except meat), just so I don't come off 'ignant' when talking to someone else about it. Plus, there's some gels that ladies with similar hair texture have suggested that surely didn't do jack squat for my hair except piss me off. Even oils, y'all suggest oils and my hair hates oils, so nah…no discrimination with hair advice 🙂

  • Rhonda C says:

    I have an overall interest in the topic of hair. Therefore, I dont discriminately filter hair advice given based on type or state (natural or not). I find it very interesting to listen to what others are doing, products their using and their rationale for their hair choices.

    I do tend to perk up when I run across a chatty natural as I am dealing with multi-textured hair on three different heads in my household (tween-aged daughters).

    I only give advice when asked! And, when that occasion arises, I answer honestly but always give the…what I do for my hair, my daughter #1's hair, and daughter #2's hair. The receiver can then decide to take it (the advice) and run.

  • Tasha says:

    Typically I discriminate when it comes to styling products. But not when it comes to hair health. When it comes to overall health I'm open to any curly that's educated on hair. But when it comes to styling I look for my "hair twin" with hopes that I can replicate a certain style I may see.

  • .:simplylizzy:. says:

    I'm definitely inclined to take advice from someone with the same or even close hair texture as mine. It just makes sense for me to do so.

  • Anonymous says:

    I can be a bit discriminating when it comes to hair products but thank God I'm not totally biased because I found a great product – Loreal Everstrong shampoo. It makes my hair so strong! I've also tried henna which I love! Mishie

  • krisluv8 says:

    Haven't discriminated as of yet!!! I did my bc a week ago after transitioning for 11 months. If it wasn't for the advice I've gotten from friends and sites likes yours, I don't know if I could have made it this far. Of course trial and error has been the best method but couldn't have gotten this far without good advice from fellow naturals. Thank you for the tips and options you give…Continue doing what you're doing….

  • Unknown says:

    Honestly, I do. I discriminate from taking advice from individuals with obvious hair issues, less than an handful of years natural, and those that believe in those growth miracle products. Since eliminating that advice, my hair is doing just fine.

  • Roddrea says:

    I am open to hearing other curlies comments, but I tend to be hesitant with applying their advice to my regimen especially if they don't have a similar texture as mine. Also I tend to look up all claims that I hear for myself. People tend to leave out little tidbits that could make all the difference in working and not working for you.

  • purplgirl48 says:

    Yes, I must say that I am discriminating. Even though I have not experienced it yet, I don't believe that I would necessarily take any advice from a curlie from a different race. Especially since their curl pattern would be different than mine (I'm a 4a). They don't have the same 'hair experience' as I do.

    But after reading this article, I will be more open minded.

  • Danielle Frieson says:

    When I first started going natural, I took anyone and everyone's advice because at the time, I felt like everyone knew a little bit more than I did because I was newly natural =). But as I learned more about my hair, and realized that not everything works for everybody, I have to pick and choose what advice I take. I try to take advice based on the problems that people have, but I notice myself leaning towards doing what similar curlies do.

  • KC says:

    Honestly, I tend to only take advice from curlies who have very similar textures to me (i.e. Naptural85 and KinkyKurlyQueen). However, after reading this post I am going to try to be more open to curlies who have similar CHARACTERISTICS/ISSUES with their hair as I do. Thanks for broadening my horizons 😀

  • Imani says:

    I used to think that ignorance, and not so curly hair goes hand-in-hand. But now I really just look up solutions for myself, usually I'm the one that all the people go to for hair advice, because I'm the only one who has been natural forever.
    As far as products go, I go for whatever's cheap and as natural as possible. My aunt did on Hot Six Oil, you know the one that can be used as everything but motor oil, but I thought because her hair is very short, and it has mineral oils I just wouldn't do it.
    In short, if I've heard about it, then I'm more receptive. Or, if I love someone's hair enough.
    I really do discriminate, mostly because I'm scared!

  • Alanna says:

    I am discriminating with the advice that I take when it comes to hair. But it's not that different from my approach to other types of advice. I usually know what I'm looking for and I have specific issues in mind and if I feel that the advice doesn't address some key points than it goes on file but I'm not likely to act on it.

  • Anonymous says:

    In the past, I only took advice from people that I sought out. Now, I listen to all advice, but I only implement what works for me. I have found that it is beneficial to listen to other people's advice because sooner or later it ends up applying to me or someone else that I can share that info with to help them out on their journey.
    Please note that I tend to be more interested in the process that people use vs the products that they use for their hair to retain healthy length. I also like to know how long their hair was when they were using that process and how it evolved as they retained length. For me, trial and error has been the best teacher, but my ears are always open to and appreciative of advice that contributes to healthy hair retention.

  • Anonymous says:

    I haven't had too many people give me advice but, I listen to the little advice I get now. However, I read a lot of reviews so I do my research before spending money.

  • Sophie says:

    Whoa so many comments! I'll throw my two cents in too: I don't discriminate! I actually thought about branching out more when a fellow curly took some of my advice, unexpectedly. My best friend is half Puerto Rican and half white, and her hair is just a little curlier than wavy (maybe "2b/3a", if that exists?), but very dry and fine like mine (which is pretty much "4a"). We were at the store because she needed conditioner and she said "which one do you use?" and when I pointed it out, she picked it up and bought it. I was actually a bit surprised, but then I thought you know what? Hair is hair. There are unique challenges/benefits/requirements that come with each unique hair type, but dry hair is dry, thin strands are thin, and you can swap some good info with someone who shares some of those problems! I was also happy that my hair looked good enough for someone to take hair advice from me because healthy hair was a long time coming

  • Jazmin says:

    It's difficult to take the journey alone so I take advice from all whether its from a curly, straight, black, white, purple, etc. You have to trust that you are knowledgable enough to discern good advice from bad…and heck if it hurts to try something new. We've all had our hair disaster/product junkie days. You have to try many things before your hair reaches nirvana. How can you know what works for you if you don't know what doesn't. I'm all ears!

  • Annabel says:

    we not well. =)

  • MartiniqueBrice says:

    I wouldnt say that i discriminate hair advice but i am more to listening to the advice of someone with the same hair texture as mine….i love watching youtube videos of women with all types of natural hair because it seems with natural hair no matter the texture we all at times deal with the same problems….

  • Annabel says:

    I'm completely open to advice and if someone finds a product that's moisturizing and nourishing (and decently priced), I'll consider their advice. I often get advice from relaxed and non-Black friends. I think generally most women on this website are open, as well all have unique hair.

  • natural dancer says:

    Hi, Nikki! I gots to confess: I listen…to an extent. If said offerer of advice has a head that looks like "why don't you, why won't you?" I'm less apt to take heed to her natural wisdom, seeing as how she's not taking care of her own noggin! But I learned what to do from all hair types, so I'm open for the ride! Candice – natural dancer

  • IyanaLove says:

    I'm always willing to take advice (and it also feeds into my product junkie-ism if I'm going to be REALLY honest). Unfortunately, most of my natural gal pals don't and say things like, "Girl, you know I got this tough stuff." Everyone should just be open to it as long as the person offering advice seems well educated and has amazing hair.

  • Cherie says:

    I will only discriminate if the advice someone is giving me goes against my better judgment and/or their hair looks like it needs its own advice. Other than that, suggestions are welcome!

  • keisha says:

    I don't discriminate because all hair really needs is water. as for products i will listen to what is being said even if her texture is different from mine but i also keep in mind that works for her may or may not work for me. ultimately i may or not try but the PJ in me will say…go ahead try it! it can't hurt you! 🙂

  • Brittany P. says:

    I take tips from other curlies with all textures of hair however, if I'm going to spend money on a product I want it to work for me so taking advice from someone with a similar 3b/c hair type only makes sense. It may not work for my hair but it's worth a shot.

  • Darcia says:

    I will discriminate on styling products based on textures. I am opened to all other advice.

  • Darcia says:

    This comment has been removed by the author.

  • MochaMakeupLover says:

    Though I take advice from other naturals, I know my hair pretty well. I usually know what works well for my hair whether its "white" hair care products or not.

  • Lanasiaray says:

    i am more than open to hair product advice ! i dont decriminate ecause no mater how corse or tight my friends curls may look, she may be giving me the next best product for my hair !

  • Anonymous says:

    I'll be honest and say I do discriminate when it comes to hair advice at times. If the hair texture doesn't resemble mine I find myself flipping through pages or videos until I do find a video that represents my hair texture or closer to it. However, there are good techniques out there that transcends hair textures and are just good practices overall.


  • NaturalNerd says:

    I am still new to being a natural. So I am trying to learn my methods. I look at ingredients and reviews. As of now its getting cold so I am looking for a method on a college budget. 🙂

  • Karima says:

    Tres Chic beanie Nikki!
    My biggest issue is keeping my hair moisturized. Any curly can have dry hair, and when I see someone who has juicy and shiny curls (regardless curl pattern or texture), I can't help but ask which products they use. -I enjoy reading your viewer's hairstories.I've tried and incorporated some of their products into my own routine

  • Anonymous says:

    I discriminate like a…I know my hair better than you know my hair 😉

  • Lisa Michelle says:

    I always preface my advice giving with the phrase "This is what works for ME…" in order to give the person I'm giving advice to a bit of understanding as to why I do what I do, and why it may/may not work for them. When it comes to taking advice I'm all ears, all the time. Heady1313 has a video on YouTube about the "butters" and it's hilarious, but it sheds light on the fact that sometimes we don't share enough with people who may not have the same texture as ourselves. I've learned quite a few things from people with different textures, most recently at the Naturally Curly photo shoot last month. As a natural it pays to be open minded or you just might miss out on the good stuff 🙂

  • Unknown says:

    I listen to all reviews curlies have and if I like what I hear I will try it on my hair and see how it works on mine.

  • Unknown says:

    I am all ears and completely open to what works for other curly people, white, black or otherwise.

  • jennWANTSaFRO says:

    i take in all the advice that i can get…no one's hair texture is the same so i find it easier to take wat is said and tweak it for my situation…it mean less stress for me and more time to appreciate my hair

  • Natural Sunshine says:

    No I do not discriminate. I am open-minded and will listen to others advice. However we know no two heads are alike so I will do what's best for my hair.

  • Anonymous says:

    I find that I'm a little hard headed when it comes to advice…I listen but I rarely incorporate…I tend to listen to my hair for the most part.

  • Anonymous says:

    I tend to listen to curlies that have strands that mirror my own. So I will on occasion consider the advice of a fine haired curly when my regimine needs recharging

  • Sleeper11 says:

    I am transitioning (will be 12 months post relaxer next month…YAAAAAYYY) and I am open to all advice from naturals with healthy hair. It is just hard for me to listen and take advice on products to use if the person hair doesn't look healthy.

  • Anonymous says:

    I tend to listen to all reviews on curly hair products, however, I find myself actually taking action on buying the product if I know someone else has suggested it to me that has my same hair type. For instance, anything CurlyNikki suggests almost always works for my hair because my hair type is similar to hers. I have another natural friend who's texture is totally different. What works for her, usually always yields different results for me:-( But at the end of the day, I LOVE to hear people's reactions to hair products. That's why I stay on these freakin blogs and forums! Lol!


  • Paris says:

    I will listen and take general hair advice from anyone with a healthy head of hair, but when it comes to products and specific techniques–YES, I am definitely biased toward women with hair textures/ethnic backgrounds similar to mine. I think that's only logical. I can't expect to get the same results from doing the same thing as someone who is starting with hair that is nothing like mine.

  • Henria O. says:

    I try to keep an open mind. I'll listen to anyone who'll offer advice. BUT, I'm all ears for naturals with the same hair texture!

  • Nia/Chic Working Moms says:

    It depends on the product but I'm less likely to follow the advice or sometimes even follow a blogger/vlogger if I notice a huge contrast. There are a few exceptions but in general, yes I can say this is the case for me. I have 3b/c hair so if someone with 2 or 4c hair tries to give me advice on style or products it may fall on deaf ears.

  • SuZQ says:

    I guess I listen to product advice if they are into the same type of natural products I am, but styling advice is a little different. Some styles simply don't work for me because my hair is very thick or holds styles differently. I like when people with similar hair types to mine show styles, then I can make a good guess on how that style will work for me or how humidity will effect it etc.

  • nola707 says:

    After discovering natural hair websites and vlogs, I was very indiscriminate about what advice I followed and what products I purchased (very costly to say the least). I was so happy and determined to find products and styles that would make me not want to flat iron or cut my hair. Over time I've learned that it's better (and less expensive) to follow the advice of those that have a similar hair type when it comes to products for styling. But, for basic advice on styles (protective and otherwise)I drink in the wisdom of all naturally curly sisters.

  • Hurjurnee says:

    I can't say that I'm less likely to listen or take advice when the natural has a different hair texture, but I'm usually less likely to jump on their bandwagon. I tend to take the advice in and process it by taking into consideration how it benefits that natural and whether or not I am seeking what that natural has found in that product/hair style/regimen. When it comes to advice, I take into account whether the natural's hair has a healthy appearance. I do realize that even someone with a similar hair texture can like products and styles that my hair detests, so I just pick and choose what I will try and let my hair tell me if 'she' likes it.

  • Rae says:

    In the beginning of my journey I wasn't sure what my hair type was, so in all honesty, I took haircare advice from people whose hair type I *wished* I had. I have a mixture of 4a/4b/4c coils and curls, but I was taking advice from 3bs and 3cs. Some of the advice worked for me, some not so much. I've recently realized that curl type matters far less than other characteristics like strand thickness, porosity, and density, so I look to those factors when people give me advice. But at the end of the day, everyone is only an expert on their own hair, really, so trial and error works best for me.

  • seriouslyaisha says:

    I am usually the one giving the advice and I'll dole it out to whomever is listening. My mom, sister, cousin, aunt, friends have all heard about the wonder drug that is coconut oil. I have a few people hooked on henna and I have been on the healthy hair wagon since March of this year. And I have ventured outside of the standard haircrushes to see what everyone has to say. Thankfully I think the community has a succinct message now, healthy is as healthy does. I'd also like to add I've always been natural (save that one time i begged for the "just for me" that did not have my hair swangin' and luscious like the box, you can imagine my disappointment! lol,) and this is the first time in all my 31 years that I feel like we as a community are sharing the positive hair love. We're not keeping the secrets of maintenance and missteps anymore we are letting the truth set us free! (too much? lol). I heart the interweb! Thanks Nikki!

  • Niqui36 says:

    I don't discriminate because anybody can have good hair advice. When I first went natural I used information from Lorraine's Massey's book about the CG method. I still use that advice. And I have friends of different races and we share different recipes for our hair and things like that.

  • Loreal says:

    I don't discriminate because I am surrounded by naturals so whatever information I get may not only benefit me but could benefit them. I always share random little tidbits of hair advice and when I'm working on a new homemade mix, I'm quick to share. Plus, my daughter's hair is totally different from mine (me=4a with patches of 3c and my daughter=3b/3c) and I'm always looking for products and homemade mixes that work on both our hair types. I feel like any information about hair can be helpful to everybody in some way.

  • Anonymous says:

    I'm open to suggestions from anyone with any curly texture. I've found that some tips that are commonly used with people with looser curls work just fine on my fine, pen spring coils. Remember, curl pattern means nothing when it comes to which products to use. Your density and porosity matter much more. There are certain products that people with thick, coarse hair use that would be too heavy on my hair.

  • Ivorie W. says:

    I don't discriminate when it comes to asking and taking advice from other curlies. But I do realize that what works for one person may not work for me. So I just ask the other curly what exactly does the product do for them, and how do they use it, then do more research on it before buying it. The only time I'm iffy is when a permed haired woman asks about my products or how I got my hair the way I did, only because I know that wheat I do won't work for them.

  • Cassandra (C.) says:

    It honestly depends on how drastically different our hair textures are. If the person giving me the advice has almost bone straight silky hair, then no I mostly likely would not take their advice as is. I'd have to see the product first, then decide. But if we had similar appearing hair, I would most likely try the product first based solely on what I was told.

    so,I guess I do kinda discriminate with hair advice based on the advice-giver's hair texture/pattern etc. But it isn't intentional.

  • WineGrrl says:

    My hair is so moody that that I'll try anything!

  • ashbash says:

    Everyones hair is different. What works for me might not work for my mom, but it might work for my best friend (who is white). So I am willing to listen to hair advice from anyone, if it doesn't work, it just might give me inspiration for something else.

  • NiNa says:

    For me I'm all ears no matter the hair texture. You just never know what advice you'll get. No 2 heads are alike so any advice given to me(good/bad) I'll listen and if I don't like it then I just toss the info mentally. And if they ask me for advice then I'll glady share, I don't judge ones hair nor routine.

  • Tammy says:

    It is easy to dismiss advice from someone who you feel has a completely different hair type, but always remember you can learn from other people's experiences. Same hair type or not, everyone's coils are unique so keep an open mind and open ears but use common sense to discern what's right for your hair. I give advice on hair care, not necessarily products.

  • An Inspiring something... says:

    I tend to discriminate only when I know I can not relate to them. I'm often too shy to ask anyone in the grocery store what products they use on their hair. I don't have ANY friends who are natural, although I encouraged one of them to transition :). But while searching through blogs, and articles on hair, I read every inch because they may have a trick or regime for me to try out :).

  • Yo says:

    I'll listen to advice from anyone, but that doesn't mean that i'll actually try it on my hair. I listen to my hair first and foremost.

  • Meena says:

    I notice that when I give some friends with different hair textures advice they will say "we dont have the same type of hair". While I get that and I get that different products work in different ways for different people I do think there is validity in my opinion from experience. I use shea butter for my hair but I also use giovanni products and trade joes products. My hair is certainly not the same texture as all who use these products but they work great for me. I try not to discriminate against people who give me hair advice. I am more interested in the ingredients of products and than who else uses them.

  • ambyrbrittany says:

    I discrimate sometimes as out of "relaxed hair mentality". It's like how when you were relaxed and never understood how people walked outside with wet hair or would wash their hair everyday. Kind of out of reflex and then I realize that I am still learning my hair so I listen, judge their curly pattern and thickness of their hair and see if it will work for me.

  • Unknown says:

    I love to talk hair with everyone. I take and give advice and I always add a disclaimer- just because it works for me does not mean it will work for you. Hair, like most close is not a one size fits all conversation!

  • Anonymous says:

    I was recently thinking about this topic that I give to my sister and how it may not be very helpful.

  • Beauty As Designed says:

    Truthfully, I definitely consider the texture of the woman's hair. I look to see if its at least CLOSE to my hair curl or texture.

  • Anonymous says:

    I honesty listen to anyone who gives advice on hair care no matter what the situation is. Key word…..LISTEN. However, its up to me to do my own research or trial and error on my hair. I dont get too much advices from other naturals, but I wouldnt mind hearing what another racesd would have to say about hair care in general. I personally do a ton of research, some work some dont, but you have to experience on your own…… Ms V'Jah

  • Curltastic Nia says:

    I personally will listen to advice from anyone. I love hearing what works for another curly's hair and why and I take it into consideration for my hair regardless of that person's texture or background. I believe you shouldn't discriminate, because you never know what you could be missing out on. (:

  • Jeannette says:

    Her hair texture plays a part but not significantly. The #1 priority for me is what knowledge the natural Woman has. If she knows her 'ish very well then I will definitely pay attention to what she has to say. Then, I factor in her texture and if it's the same as mine to get an idea if the product may work on me or not.

  • Jessie x says:

    I listen to all because you never know what works and doesn't work 🙂

  • Krystality says:

    I dont't Discriminate. I will try products and techniques based on what I am trying to achieve with my hair.

  • MsDorsette says:

    When it comes to trying to nail down MY routine and techniques, I am typically most attentive to advice from fellow curlies with similar textures- regardless of race/ethnicity. When it comes to general knowledge, I'm all ears to anyone who has something significant to offer. I may not always like it or ever use it, but it's informative and could be valuable to someone else that I know.

  • Pecancurls says:

    I am all ears no matter the texture of the hair; however, listening and following are two different things. I tend to follow moreso those with similar textures and my wallet does the discriminating when it comes to buying any products. 🙂

  • Alicia says:

    Honestly, I don't really take advice from naturals with a vastly different hair texture from mine because in the past I have wasted money that way. I am also sure to let others know that what works for me may not work for them, so they won't take my suggestions and just run out spending money to get their hair looking like mine.

  • NhappyJackie says:

    I wouldn't say I discriminate. For me, the texture of the hair is not what matters, it's the health. So if someone with a different texture, yet very healthy hair, wanted to give me some advice…I would definitely listen to and see if any of it is something I am willing to apply to my routine or find ways to incorporate it. But, if their hair is not up to par, I may feel as though there is nothing they can teach me and I need to keep it moving. But I will still listen to their advice for entertainment purposes only.

  • Ings says:

    I think that I used to discriminate but I did it because I wanted to make sure that I was appreciating what my texture could do as opposed to pining away for that Tracey Ellis Ross look (you know what I'm talking about). Now I've passed the newly natural stage and am back to my simpler way of doing hair so I'll take advice from anyone that seems to have similar hair ideas (be gentle, keep a simple regimen, don't get caught up in product hype, stuff like that). We probably all go through phases until we are completely comfortable and knowledgeable enough about our own head of hair.

  • Janel says:

    It depends on what the product is doing for the hair. If someone with a looser hair texture is pushing a curl defining product I am less likely to be interested but if it is a product that has a high moisture content then I am more interested. It also depends on how much that other person cares for their hair and if they tend to look for similar qualities in products that I do.

  • Adia H says:

    I don't discriminate. One time I had this white man come to the store I was working at the time. He had really pretty curls in his hair. And he told me it was a product by aveda. I wanted to go out and buy that product immediatly if it can make my curls look like his. I recently bought this conditioner by Dove, and never in a million years would I have bought it, if it wasn't on sale. ANd to my suprise it is the best conditioner that I've tried so far.

  • V. Walks says:

    It depends on the issue that we're talking about. Before I decided to go natural and long before I ever stumbled upon a blog or youtube channel devoted to natural hair, an Asian roommate of mine told me that she put an oil (or even vaseline if she had no oil) on the ends of her hair before she shampooed to keep her ends from drying out and I tried that and it actually helped my dry, relaxed ends. If we're talking about remedies to persistent problems like dry scalp and I've tried other things, I'll listen to anyone (so long as it seems like it could help). Also, if we're talking about superficial things like something that'll make your hair smell good or look shiny, I'll pretty much listen to anyone. When it comes to manageability of hair, like detangling, I tend to listen more keenly to those that have hair like mine.

  • Essense Hill says:

    I try to do my own research no matter what the "hair type/curl pattern" is…but I do kinda base it on hair that looks like mine. Now that I'm natural and I share my journey with others, they all say "my hair aint like yours…" lol So it works both ways I guess.

  • Anonymous says:

    I'm a bit cautious about the advice I give to other naturals or people transitioning. A few of my friends haven't had a relaxer in a few months and comment on how they're "natural" now. This always catches me by surprise because personally, I transitioned for 2years before I bc'd. I don't consider anyone with only 3months of new growth holding back years of relaxed hair natural. When they tell me about products that they're using or ask what I'm using I try to come from an approach so that they realize that our hair isn't the same. Mine is relaxer free and yours isn't.

    I find that by adding that caveat to them, or other naturals with different texture, they get that I'm not really telling you to follow the products I use, but instead to pay attention to the steps I'm taking.

  • Syreeta H. says:

    I do NOT discriminate, I am open to hear from any curly because I like to talk about hair, however I do filter through information. At the end of the day your judgement should be the best judgement. 🙂

  • Erocka says:

    i never turn down a chance to talk curly hair with anyone and i definitely don't discriminate against any advice from a curly girl or guy.

    i do feel discriminated on when giving advice. i get the most compliments from black women when i wear my curly fro, esperanza spalding-esque…they stop me and ask what i use or they simply say they've been wanting to go natural…but while i am telling them about going natural, they stop me mid-sentence (and this never fails) and they say "oh! but you got that good hair, you mixed?" and i always respond, so that i don't discourage them from wanting to go natural, "yes, but most black people have good hair, if we'd just stop putting perms in it and let it grow out naturally."

    i think no matter how tight or loose our curls are we all go thru a struggle with detangling, frizz, and other curly hair woes…i hate that they loose interest when they think that my hair is good because of my race, and not because of how i take care of it.

  • Bridget says:

    I don't discriminate. I have taken product recommendations from women with different hair textures and/or skin color and watch youtube videos from various curly haired women. However, I always research a product before purchasing it regardless of who is giving the advice. Unlike when I first began to embrace my curls and would try practically any product solely based on its claims alone. Wasted a lot of money doing that. It was a very costly lesson.

  • Anonymous says:

    I don't discriminate, I regulate every shade of that… Lol! No, seriously I don't discriminate when it comes to advice from naturalistas with different textures than mine. If what they do doesn't work for me, then they do at least inspire me to find what does. Good old trial and error are how I've learned what works for me and my hair.


  • Iamsonotmyhair says:

    I will definately listen, but I won't just jump up and purchase without doing further research on YT with other hair types that are closer mine first.

  • Davina916 says:

    I'll take advice, however I already have a regimine that works for me. Thanks! Davina@

  • Brittney S. says:

    I definitely discriminate if I see that your texture or curl pattern is different than mine. Just because something works for your hair and is healthy for it doesn't mean that the same approach or product will work for mine. Not to mention, I've gotten some CRAZY suggestions from other naturals…..advice and product recommendations that I know for a fact are either a) just plain batty or b) incorrect and would harm MY hair. So, although I will listen to the advice with an open ear, it is also very possible that the advise is going in that one open ear and out the other.

  • Anonymous says:

    Hi Nikki,

    I would have to say that I tend to take the advice of those with similar texture as mine. But I am open to any advice given. I am trying to avoid becoming a product junkie so I have learned to stick with what works for me. Now when giving advice to others, I am totally honest about the products that I use on my hair. But I also tell them that every texture is not the same and although they may try a certain product they should use what works for them.


  • Shanna says:

    You know what? As much as I would like to say I am open to anyone who seems to be knowledgeable on hair, to be honest the thought runs though my mind often "her hair is so different from mine." I have avoided trying certain products or techniques for fear that what worked on her fine, wavy hair could not possibly work on my course, kinky hair. With that being said I have been surprised because more and more lately, in my quest for healthier hair , I have tried out things that have been advised to me by people with hair very different from my own. So I think it's a learning process and that I have to learn to be more open minded to all advice 🙂

  • Inesa Conley says:

    For me I will listen to the advice and it depends on what the advice is on, because someone cannot mention to me that my 4c kinky hair should try a liquid leave-in conditioner because their type 3 hair loves it. I know my hair, so I will listen. But if it about an oil, I will be eager to try.So I will not discriminate if someone with a different hair texture gives me tips.

  • Anonymous says:

    I really don't think it matters. Its all in trial and error. I will take advice from any one whether they be black, white, or martian green it dosen't matter. Maybe what's working for them might just work for you also. Yes, true indeed everyone does have different textures of hair but it all the same because its chemical-free. As for me, I'm open to any suggestions that anyone has to offer me.

  • CurlyTonya says:

    I will take advice from any curly, but I know my thick 4a hair will not look good with any process or product. After a year of being natural, I realize that some things are basic…a good moisturizing shampoo and conditioner, moisturizer (butter or oil) and maybe a styler(gel for WNG). I have my staple products but I'm willing to learn about new things. I do read product reviews and look at youtube vloggers. If the type 4 reviewers hate it….I probably will skip it.

  • TraciB says:

    I'm pretty much all ears BUT I do make note of the hair texture of the one providing information. I'm at the point now that people come to me for advice and I always give a disclaimer, "just because it works for me, it doesn't mean it will work for you."

  • JackieMc says:

    I'm gonna keep it real – I only take natural hair advice from someone with healthy, curly hair. I need someone who has experience with the same issues that I face. If you mostly wear your hair straight or have a completely differet texture, my hair can't relate.

  • Sabrina says:

    I think when it comes to actual hair products, I definitely discriminate. The things my very loosely curled friend uses for keeping the frizz away, my tightly curled, coarse hair laughs at. But with all advice I take with a grain of salt because my hair is proving to be very particular. The only thing I don't discriminate on are hair styles. If it's cute I'm all about equal opportunity 🙂

  • DreamchaZer1920 says:

    I'm open to most anyone's advice if their hair looks good, and whatever they are doing is not going to be harmful to my hair (using heat, etc). I'm sure there is something they are doing that may work for me.

  • arem.bei says:

    First time poster here:
    I agree with what a lot of people are saying about it being dependent upon the advice. I have non-black friends with coarse,fine, curly hair not unlike my own so when they offer advice on de-frizzing or a good DT, I'm more inclined to listen. That being said I do get identifying more with someone who likes you vs not.

  • Anonymous says:

    It depends. When it comes to styling advice, I gravitate towards people with a similar texture to mine. But when it comes to product advice, I will generally hear out anyone with any texture. ~H

  • Rhonda McKnight says:

    Do I discriminate? Yes and no. I like to talk "hair" and will talk about it across the board with any natural curlie, but I do not believe that someone with 3b hair and my 4a hair will have products in common. Not stylers anyway, and since I'm good on shampoo and conditioners what else is there?

    I think we can have things in common like general hair health, nightly routines, protective styling and we can even go hat shopping together, so although I discriminate about products, I welcome a good, thoughtful conversation from any curlie.

  • Anonymous says:

    I think that even though someone might have a similar curl pattern/texture than mine what their hair likes and craves can be very very different. I think it makes zero difference at the end of the day – as a curly you have to know what works for you. I have found that it is always helpful to ask others about their products and regimens and then do some research to see if the ingredients in those products of someone whose hair I love works for ME and MY HAIR.

  • Brittany says:

    I think it ultimately depends on what kind of advice it is. We all know that, not only do different things work for different people in general, but different techniques, products, etc. work differently for different hair types as well. If someone with a completely different hair type than my own gave me advice on something like hair accessories, or protective styling, I'd be more open to receiving that type of advice rather than advice from them about using a certain hair product to get similar results. But honestly, I'm open to and grateful for any type of advice anyone is willing to give me! I'm just MORE open to some than others based on what I feel is best for ME is all. 🙂

  • Beauti says:

    I compare natural hair suggestion like I would when getting advice from an elder or mother etc…. I listen to it all, but it doesn't mean I have to actually take the advice or suggestion. I have tried some of everything and before it's over will I will try some more… cuz you just never know!

  • Brittany says:

    This comment has been removed by the author.

  • JMartinez516 says:

    I hate to say this but I definitely pay more attention to people who have hair type similar to my own. Not because I don't think any one else knows what they are talking about or anything, but simply because I am still learning my hair and I want to know what people with hair similar to mine have tried and found success with.

  • OliveAno says:

    as a new natural i still have trouble getting away from the idea of black and white hair products being separate. sometimes it limits what i buy for my hair but i'm slowly pulling myself away from the mentality and experimenting with historically "white" products such as garnier fructis. my relaxed roommates refuse to believe that " white products" even water lol can work on our hair.

  • Valencia says:

    I listen to advice from anybody. For one thing, you can never have TOO much information. Even if your textures are different, your hair might be more alike than you initially realize. Also, if you are generous enough to help out other naturals, you may need to rely on advice that you got from a person with a texture that is different from yours to do so.

  • Anonymous says:

    I would say that I am open to ALL hairtypes when it comes to haircare in general such as moisturize, seal, etc. etc., but as for certain products and/or treatments…uhhhh no.

    My strands are THICK. Therefore, my hair needs little to no protein (I haven't done a protein treatment in over a year – and stray away from protein-laden products). I also HAVE to use water-based products with a LIGHT sealant in order to seal moisture in.

    I will look at product reviews from everyone, but I only take it as something possibly for me when I see characteristics that I KNOW would work for my hair.

    I think people could benefit from any hair types recommendation as long as they know their own hair type and know how to digest the recommendation to fit their own hair.

  • Chelonthia says:

    I still listen and consider various curlies and hair types advice. Realistically, it could still work on my hair, so why not listen. As long as their hair is healthy, and they're not saying something I could possibly disagree with at the risk if my hair's health, I am willing to techniques and idea. Ultimately, it's still my hair and my decision what i do to it what products I use

  • TiAnna Mae says:

    I think there's something to say about technique as well. Because the whole put conditioner in and go, does not and probably will never work for me. I listen to anyone with healthy hair and sounds like they know what they're talking about. Most of us probably don't have the same texture as Nikki, but we hang on to her every product recommendation.

  • virtue5 says:

    My sisters, mother and I are all natural and we all have different hair types. I am open to ideas/techniques/products, but I know that it is up to me to decide to works for my hair type, time, and wallet.

  • Monique says:

    i like to take advice from anyone whether their hair is natural or even relaxed. doing that has helped me find out how to properly care for my own natural hair. im still learning, but taking advice and tweaking that advice into my own has helped me get my hair into better shape than it was when i first began my natural hair journey.

  • Anonymous says:

    I have listened and paid attention to women with a looser/wavier curl pattern when I stumble across them, I can get ideas and techniques from just about anyone. But when it comes to me actually seeking out a natural haired lady on Youtube I usually try to find women with a tighter curl pattern such as my own because I feel like the products they use (i.e thick butters and creams) may have a better chance at working for my hair.


  • Laurent says:

    For me it really doesn't matter the background of the person I'm getting information from. Curly hair isn't only indicative of one ethnicity in general. As long as its organic and hydrating I take the advice.

  • Anonymous says:

    Well since I have the thickest hair on the planet…sigh… I usually filter information that is soliciated from anyone. I always find that my hair doesn't play fair. Meaning that most products that I typically wouldn't buy seem to actually work on my hair, and vice versa. So I am open to taken advice from anyone, but I always make my own interpretation,which normally takes about a month or so to digest. I love to analyze everything and make my own interpretation, so I am never the girl to buy just because someone says it's "great". I will probable think of reasons why it wouldn't work and talk myself out of purchasing it.

  • molovefive9 says:

    I'm going to be honest. When I first became
    natural, I was subscribing to any and every
    curly head on YouTube. But after being natural
    for 2 years this a August , I felt that being
    subscribed to a looser curl pattern person
    would not benefit me. So I went through and
    unsubscribed from all with that type of curl
    pattern. For me, I have learned so much
    from curlies with a texture like mine.

  • Shaunie says:

    I usually only take advice from people who look like they have a healthy head of hair. Their hair texture or pattern is irrelevant since the basic structure and composition of hair is the same.

  • Pamela says:

    I generally take advise from any curly who seems to know her stuff and demonstrates it with a healthy, well-cared for head of hair. Some styles that curlies with different textures than mine I know won't necessarily work for me but that doesn't mean I can't benefit from their hair care advise.

  • Anonymous says:

    I don't discriminate when it comes to listen to general advice on how to achieve healthy hair but I definitely discriminate when it comes to products used by others who don't have my hair type and/or hair needs. –TaRhonda

  • Anonymous says:

    I listen to all hair talk! I think the overall goal is the health of hair, whether it's relaxed or natural, a different texture, so on. So, with that being said I'll listen, offer my 2 cents and then take any advice that I possibly can use for my own hair. 🙂

  • Anonymous says:

    I personally like to be open to the ideas and techniques of many. If there is something I'd like to try but the person touting it clearly has a totally different texture than mine (as we are all different in that regard), then I simply think of ways I can modify it to fit my needs and expectations. Nothing should be done the same by two different people. It's all about experimentation.


  • Ashley S. says:

    I'm def all ears to other naturals one because it interest me to know what others use in their hair. In fact. I solicit alot of the product recommendations I receive. I'm sure you've heard time and time again hat works for one's curls may not work for yours BUT sometimes it does> I ill add though that products not marketed for naturally and/or curly hair seems to disinterest me. But I've been sneaking a peek at the suave naturals so we shall see….

  • Anonymous says:

    Since transitioning to the natural world I have become so much closer with women that are natural. The interesting thing is some do wear their hair straight instead of curly, furthermore, Im a people person so I enjoy talking about anything. Lately, its been HAIR go figure lol..i enjoy finding out what other people use, the price and exactly where they get it from I then reference the web (including curlynikki of course) for facts or whats good for my hair type 3c because I am trying not be a PJ. Thus far, the advice I have been given has been beneficial so hopefully the rest of the knowledge the next person gives me will be the same.


  • Anonymous says:

    I recommend products to people of all hair types becausr i love organic products. Im completely close-minded to recommendationd…i just have to look at ingredients and texture and scent myself. Inconvenient when all of the good stuff is online!

  • salt_andlight says:

    I typically only take advice from women with natural – that is, black women, white women, or women of any other race/ethnicity who does not process her hair. This is because I feel that while certain styling tips vary based on texture, the basics (i.e. shampoo, moisture, importance of detangling) are universal.

    After I went natural, I realized that there's no need for a discrimination between "Black hair products" and "White hair products". The first few ingredients of both types of shampoo are the same! I repeat, THEY ARE THE SAME. It's the marketing and maybe the scents that differ.

    I have a white friend who went out of her way to borrow my Guatemalan friend's shampoo because the folks who lived right next to her in our dorm "were all African, so…" and she saw no problem with this reasoning. This is the kind of ignorance that our hair wars can incite if we're not careful.

  • Rae says:

    I take advise from any curly/kinky girl. True some things don't work for certain hair types, but you might have to change up their routine and use less or more of something. For example Shea moisture doesn't really work well on my 3a/c coils w/o leaving a residue, but another 3a/b mix friend could use it with no problem despite my failed relationship with the product.

  • Anonymous says:

    I love all hair talk. However, someone that has hair like mine, I really listen to. 9 times out of 10 the advice really work. Love your blog.-Flowerchild

  • kwnatural says:

    I am always open to suggestions. I am still learning what works for my hair, and I am willing to try new products and techniques, especially from curlies who have healthy hair.

    I gravitate toward natural products, as my hair reacts well to them.

    The hair type/texture doesn't affect whether I take someone's advice – it's the health of their hair that matters.

  • kwnatural says:

    This comment has been removed by the author.

  • Carmesha says:

    I don't discriminate, I will take advice from any curly, but I take everything with a grain of salt. I don't expect my hair to look like someone else's just by using a certain product, but I will consider's someone's description of the product (ex it's moisturizing, non-greasy, easy to apply, etc) along with my knowledge of ingredients and their properties to make a decision about what to buy

  • kee says:

    I take bits and pieces from everyone and try to discern what similarities our hair have that will relate to the advice and what should be disregarded for myself… I love Curly Nikki its and awesome site for whatever I need to know about my hair. There is so much info here… Love it!!!!

  • Unknown says:

    I tend to listen to those curlies that have healthy flourishing hair and extremely informed. But then again I like to do my own research…. I'll listen to anyone and selective on the advice I take (and it's not based on hair type but more on knowledge base).

  • Dania says:

    I am willing to listen to the advice of another natural with different hair texture/skin tone. I would especially listen if they has healthy hair.

  • Anjah Yonne says:

    I'm not gonna even lie, I discriminate. I take advice more so from the curlie that has hair texture similar to mine. If I see that she possesses some of my same delimna (i.e. thin edged, slow growth, and curls tight enough to break numerous combs), I am all ears.

    I do read the other blogs and listen to less tightly curled curlies but I am more receptive to curlies of similar texture than mine.

  • ItsaEpiphany says:

    Initially I discriminate when I first went natural because I had no idea what I was doing and it was easier to compare myself to someone with a similar hair type. As I learned more and more, I'm more into the results of products because I figure that maybe my hair won't look like that natural but it will be just as good in its own way.

  • Kristina says:

    I definately discriminate…can't even lie. I have a best friend who is mixed (her mother is white and her father is black) and she is always telling me what hair products she uses and so on. I am happy to listen but I don't run out and buy whatever product she's raving about because I know my 4c hair will respond differently. No hate…just conscious awareness about what will and will not work for me.

  • Anonymous says:

    I would take advice from a natural with different hair texture. If I feel they know what they are talking about I would use the information and maybe pass it on. :O)

  • LifenotesEncouragement says:

    I'm open to advice but I'm discerning with what I use, only because I know what works for me.

  • peyrhy10 says:

    Personally, I am open to advice from any curly! No matter their hair type, fave products, or even their race! I am such a hair-fanatic, I just love to talk about all things hair related. Now dont get me wrong, if I see someone with the exact same hair type as mine, I may be more apt to swap secrets, but that is only because what worked for her may work for me as well. I am at the point now, where I am an experimenting PJ, so whatever advice you have, I am all ears! God Bless you all!

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