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Curly Nikki

A Real World Diva’s Laws to Live By

By January 27th, 202119 Comments
A Real World Diva's Laws to Live By
by Taneica Phillips of Shatterproof Glass Dolls

According to Webster’s online dictionary, a diva is a distinguished female operatic singer or female operatic star. According to the urban dictionary, a diva is a bitchy woman that must have her way exactly, or no way at all. Often rude and belittles people, believes that everyone is beneath her and thinks that she is so much more loved than what she really is. selfish, spoiled, and overly dramatic. (Thanks Charmain!) According to Beyonce, a diva is the female version of a hustler. According to me a diva is a woman who carries herself with confidence and assertion and looks damn good doing it . It took me a long, LONG time to get to that point, but I have found that life is so much more fun when you live your life by your own rules and enjoy every day like it’s the first day to something really big! Everybody has their own way of perceiving the world, but I want to share with you my perception of the way I view the world around me. I’ve been told that I am very unusual and see life through a completely more fun pair of binoculars than the average gal, but hey, life’s short, sip champagne, make lots of love, buy lots of shoes and take lots of pictures. So, here’s the rules I live by. Hopefully every doll reading this will find something that they can tuck away in their purse for a rainy day.

1. Accept that you’re a diva. It’s cool, I swear. If you think there’s a negative connotation to the term, turn it into a positive one by living your life above the “title”. Ya know, it’s funny, a confident woman who knows exactly what she wants and won’t accept anything less could be viewed as a bitch, but a man who does the same thing has cojones. Things that make you go “hmmm”, right?

2. Embrace that you’re a diva. See, the thing about it, is there’s millions of people out there waiting for you to figure out how damn fabulous you are so that you can share all that fabulous, sexiness with the WORLD! What are you waiting for?

3. Take pictures, because you’re a diva. I don’t care if you live in Minnesota, the key is stepping out as if the paparazzi is at your front door. I’m not saying that you need to don heels and a fur coat just to go to Wal-Mart (lord knows, I don’t), but always be camera ready. You may run into a group of old friends and decide to go to lunch, an ex with a dreadful looking new companion, or a “prospect” (wink wink). Keep your game tight!

4. Find your “cape”. There will be days when your sexy will be a 2 on a scale from 1-10. On those days, you may not be able to bring yourself up to a full 10, but with your “cape” you can atleast pull down a 5 or 6! You remember how Clark Kent was a shy news person, but became Superman once he dusted off his cape and speedos? Same rule applies for divas. On those down days, put on your “cape” to remind you that you’re fabulous, youre gorgeous and you effin rock! It can be anything, a pair of jeans that show off that illegally perky booty, a particular pair of earings that show off your long neck, maybe even a sexy pair of panties or a bra! For me, it’s any pair of stilettos I can find in my closet. Something about wearing heels forces me to strut whether I want to or not. By the time I get from the parking lot to the inside of my destination, I’m ready to kick butt and take names.

5. Find your sexy selling point. Every woman had a sexy selling point. It can be anything from your giggle to your expressive eyes. Find what makes you sexy and work it.

6. Be the girlfriend that every other girlfriend would love to have, but only few ever get the pleasure to really know. Good friends are hard to come by. For some reason, girl friends are even trickier to tack down than dudes! Listen and respond when talking on the phone, even if your favorite show is on. Show up and ALWAYS be there when it matters most to her, not you. Be that boost of confidence when hers is running low, but also know when to be that swift kick in the ass when she needs it too. Be the type of friend that you would want to have. Nobody ever needs 20 close friends. Have a close bunch that you can devote yourself to. That way, youre not spreading yourself thin!

7. Always say “please” and “thank you”. A real world diva is not a self-centered, entitled, bitchy type. A real world diva knows that it’s easier to coax ants with honey than vinegar. A diva gets her own so she doesn’t have to wait for anyone to get it for her. A real world diva is always appreciative and gracious. A real world diva remembers what her mama taught her about manners and giving respect to get respect. There will be moments when you may have to be “nice-sty”, but for the most part, being polite is so chic and never, ever goes out of style.

8.Treat your heart like a drop top convertible. By this, I mean, let down your “drop top” and enjoy what the world around you has to offer. Leave the top down so you don’t miss a beat. Sure there will be rain, hurricanes even! But there will also be beautiful sunny days and spring time flowers. Learn what you can and enjoy the rest. You can handle the bad times and good times. Trust me, I should know.

9. When it comes to your appearance, remember, what God gave you is more beautiful than anything you can buy. No matter what it is, or what you’re working with, God created it. You got a few extra pounds? Shoot you call it fat, I call it blessings. Sure, I was skinnier in college, but I didn’t have what to eat then the way I do now. God blessed me with a job so that I can afford to fill my fridge with groceries. Your boobs aren’t as perky as they once were? Take a look at that beautiful human being you brought into this world. The lord giveth and taketh. What you call wrinkles, I call blessed laugh lines. I’ll keep the wrinkles around my eyes and dimples. Theyre there because I’ve been laughing more than crying these last 27 years of my existence. You were fearful and wonderfully made, child. Hold your head high and accentuate your God given gorgeousness.

What’s your definition of a Diva? What rules do you live by?

Taneica blogs daily on with her sister Sherica. Their mission is to inspire, empower, enlighten, and entertain. A Shatterproof Glass Doll is a fragile woman who can never be broken beyond repair. Dare to be Shatterproof.


  • DeeC says:

    I just want to say thank you for writing this…yes, the word diva has been presumed to be somewhat of a negative embellishment of a confident and successful woman, but your article turned that around. It's encouraging women (especially me) to embrace our natural beauty, and put ourselves on a pedestal…I LOVE this article. I’ve been feeling extremely self conscience lately and your article literally made me life my head high…It’s a journey of self discovery and it should be embraced by all. Again I say, it’s encouraging! I’m going to share this with my chicas and incorporate your article into my everyday life (or at least try to, lol)…Every woman deserves to be a positive, confident, successful, esteemed diva….

  • Elegance says:

    I am not a diva in any way shape or form. I think that we Black women have to stop embracing these terms that have negative connotations to everyone else in the world. Why be a diva? Why not just be a well-rounded, classy, lady? We need to be careful with our image and the terms we use to label ourselves. This is just like trying to embrace the n-word because when someone calls you that or a diva, they are not paying you a compliment. Enough with the strong Black women stuff, it's hurting us!

  • Anonymous says:

    Wow!!!!!!!!!! Words can't express HOW MUCH of a blessing this post was!!!!! Thanks for sharing these "mantras"… I definitely plan on incorporating them!!! Keep on encouraging… cause its TRULY your gift!!!!! 🙂

  • Anonymous says:



    #ff @ThatDivaJ

  • fabwtalk says:

    I love, love, love this post, excellent job! I love being a diva and I consider myself a diva because I am confident, know what I want out of life and stay positive through the ups and downs. Everything you said in this posts was true and I applaud you for knowing what a diva truly is.

  • Anonymous says:

    Love it!

  • BnNappy says:

    I love this post… and I only have 1 rule to live by!!!

    Rule #1: LIVE!!!! Life is happening… so LIVE!

    I've been living life hard, fast, no regrets… and I won't stop!! I'm confident, I'm smart, I'm shy in front of a guy, I can bring life to any party… I can take care of myself, but b/c I've dropped the top on my heart… sometimes I let other people take care of me, Heck I'm a woman… I should be pampered sometimes by someone other than myself. So what!? I'm a best friend to any stranger, I speak in love, and I use my strength to overcome my weaknesses… I refuse to belittle people to build myself up… I see my beauty with my eyes closed. I find beauty in others when I haven't even seen their faces… I'm a true creation of God… fearful, wonderful, me! Sometimes, I'm a 2 on a scale of 10… but I throw on my mascara and my sexy pumps with my big booty jeans… and I strut as tho I'm a 20 on a scale of 10… Un Uhnnn you can't tell me nothing!! I'm the definition of a DIVA and I dare someone to disagree LOL!
    *struts out with my 5 inch Jessica Simpson pumps and big booty jeans*

  • sarah says:

    personally, i don't like the word "Diva". to each his own. so, i just replaced "diva" with "lady" and it still works out fine.

  • donna dorrane says:

    *taking notes*

  • Anonymous says:

    Mant to type DIVA,not dive! LOL! That would be some deep diving!

  • Anonymous says:

    My personal definition of a dive:

    A Diva is a confident,openminded, independent woman who uses her strength, knowledge, experiences and blessings to spread love and lift others up instead of tearing them down, ALL WHILE cherishing and taking excellent care of herself (physically, mentally, spiritually and intellectually). She speaks well, thinks clearly, acts decisively, moves gracefully and carries in her chest a heart of gold and a spirit of humility.

  • Crystal says:


  • Pamela says:

    I know what she means about the stilettos! My "cape" are my 4 inch black leather, knee-hi boots! When I'm walking in those, people just need to step aside…

  • Anonymous says:

    This post is so on point! Taneica I'm feeling you on this Diva thang! If I didn't know any better I would swear that my mom pushed me out Diva Style straight up! lol

    There is nothing WRONG with being confident within yourself, knowing what you want, who you are, and what you can bring to the table so to speak. I learned these things about myself a long time ago. Most people MISTAKE this attitude as betting "snobbish" or "bitchy" but it isn't.

    A Diva like me can appreciate another Diva as well…I DON'T HATE I CONGRATULATE! That's my motto.:)

    And also, like Taneika said "always say please and thank you" I think a lot of women judge women that exude confidence mistaking it for arrogance and can miss out on meeting a very nice person. I know personally it has happened to me so many times. But for those who took a chance with this Diva they found a LOYAL AND Great FRIEND!:) Let a Diva be a Diva!

    Great Post! So glad you put this out there!

  • Jontrice (BreatheFashion3c) says:

    Taneica rocks so much! I love to watch her vids on youtube..I mean her personality just makes your whole day brighter! Now thanks to her, I am going to be walking around like my s*** don't stank (yes I said STANK). I love her! And Nikki! Awww hell its just so much love on this freaking site. Curly girls rock! Awww shucks I'm getting mushy now……

    ***#drops mic and exits stage to the left***

  • Nickie says:

    Took me 26 years to embrace my DIVA or "queencess" (queen and princess) as my significant other calls it!!! Loved this post!!

  • Anonymous says:

    I absolutely love, love, love this post. I felt like a DIVA as I was reading it. I will from this day forward see myself, present myself, and live my life as a first class, 100% DIVA. Gotta find me some stilettos I can walk in thou (lol). I got this. Thanks for this beautiful post.

  • DiJah says:

    *cues Beyonce* na na na …a diva is a female version if a hustler..of a hustler of a of a hustler…

  • Anonymous says:

    Great post! Very positive.

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