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Curly Nikki

Forgive Me- Natural Hair ‘Moments’

By January 27th, 202119 Comments
Forgive Me- Natural Hair 'Moments'
by Noni of Three Naturals

We all are familiar with the importance of forgiving others and the issues that prolonged bitterness can cause. But we don’t often speak about forgiving ourselves for past stupid choices. And even more rarely do we speak about forgiving our hair…
Just follow me for a moment.

If you’ve ever experienced the following you have suffered hair unforgiveness:

Situation 1
– You wake up late and have limited time to get ready for work. You start to take down your twists (or whatever you’ve done to set your hair the night before). Your hair though had ideas of its own and refused to dry while you slept.
Reaction -Aarrgh, followed by being pissed the remainder of that morning at work.

Situation 2 -You’ve just watched another 12 minute hair tutorial on YouTube. Defeated, you log off your computer. Her hair looks wicked but that will never work for you. You don’t have her curl pattern.
Reaction – Aarrgh, followed by being pissed that you can’t achieve that style or look.

Situation 3 – You’re excited because your favourite band is coming to town. You got tickets months ago and you just found out that you have an opportunity to meet the band after the show at an exclusive VIP event. As the night goes on, so does your ‘ms. independent’ hair, frizzing to oblivion.
Reaction – Aarrgh, followed by being pissed that what you looked like when you left the house has become a distant memory… your hair looks vastly different, perhaps a little homeless.

Sounds familiar? Don’t worry, there is a remedy for this type of unforgiveness too. It’s called perspective. The key to forgiving your hair is to look for the light in every situation.
Let’s revisit the situations and plug in perspective.

Situation 1 – Waking up with wet hair and 7 minutes to get ready for work…
Reaction – That unexpected wet hair in the morning nurtured your ability to think outside the box, deal with the inevitable changes of life and use skills that will come in handy when your boss requests you implement major changes to a proposal due in the next half hour.

Situation 2 – youtube Hair tutorials = youhair depression…
Reaction – So you don’t have her curl pattern, her length, her DNA. What to do? Love what you’ve been given. While you can’t do what others can, know that you CAN do what others can’t. Nothing about you is an accident. Embrace your inner curly to inspire yourself and those around you.

Situation 3 – Uninvited frizzing at an inopportune time…
Reaction – So you had a werewolf moment and instead of morphing during a full moon you transformed during a hot, humid, but killing concert. Hey, you were able to keep your cool as the expansion happened and maintain your funky. By the time you took your treasured photo with the band you looked like a cool, confident, fashion-forward naturalista.

My point?
Unforgiveness is a bitter pill and a slippery slope. Forgiveness is a tree of life. Plus, it’s not your hair. It’s never been your hair that has caused your angst. Change your perspective, practice forgiveness in every situation and be better for it.

Any of these situations sound familiar?!


  • Anonymous says:

    I have experienced number 1 and 2…on multiple occasions!!!! I was seriously considering just putting in a texturizer…This was confirmation to not do it and love what you have. If you love your hair for the personality it is, it will love you back!!This was a great article!!!

  • Jacky says:

    Thanks so much

  • Anonymous says:

    I feel the pains of #1: I just worked 2-3 hrs to detangle, wash, AND roller set my hair. Then I have to sit under the dryer for an additional hour. I go to sleep, wake up, and my hair still isn't dry??!! And I have to go to work looking like this? Oh no, not kewl….lol

  • Anonymous says:

    Too funny! I agree with SweetDrk1 @1:54 – I did the same things during my product junkie madness!

    Thank you for posting Noni!!

  • Nitab says:

    I really needed this! I have experienced #1, #2, and #3(Church concert or program). I cannot seem to maintain a twistout for more than a few hours and God forbid I wake up without enough time to get ready for work:-) So many of the youtube videos do not match my type of hair. I'm working on being more creative and working with what God gave me. Very encouraging post. Thanks!

  • Anonymous says:

    Mahoganycurls is back online with 7 new videos and her hair has grown alot..Ducking head don't get mad at me lol……

  • yoly Rodriguez says:

    Scenario # 2 definitely love youtube tutorials, but I have no skill or creativity, by those I admire.

  • Anonymous says:

    I agree… and Thank you for the reminder. I need the encouragement sometimes because, I have experience everyone of these issues.

  • Shug says:

    I love what situation #2 says 'Love what you’ve been given.' When I started on my journey, I'd would always wish to have hair like the next natural. But over time, I've fallen in love with myself and my hair more and more each.

  • PhenomenallyMe says:

    Sad but true, I've been there too. I have had to give myself mini pep talks to keep from being annoying to those around me. My best friend, the person who convinced me to go natural, has been natural for three years and has pretty golden locks…When I met her, that was what drew us into conversation. I wanted my coils to grow out like hers but ummm, they came out even better, PERFECT for me!

  • Michelle @Radiant Brown Beauty says:

    "While you can’t do what others can, know that you CAN do what others can’t." – Love this.

    I used to dislike that my hair is more wavy than curly. I wished that my hair were a little curlier so I could do fierce twist outs. I've come to the acceptance that it's not going to happen. It's not the hair God blessed me with. The good thing is at least He DID bless me with hair and hair that's not too difficult to manage. I'm thankful for at least that.

  • k.lynn says:

    definitely relate to the youtube reference. it always ends up with me being too threw with my hair not looking like someone else's. have to remember that my hair is unique to me and won't come out the same.

  • Anonymous says:

    I swear I've been in all of those situations…

  • KC says:

    I can totally relate to Situation 2! When I get "length envy," I look at my TWA pics and think about how far I've come. Works like a charm.

  • Launie says:

    This is me every once in a while. I definitely go through this! Depressed that my hair won't do right! lol thank you for the reminder, I needed this!

  • fabwtalk says:

    Very cute and positive post, love it!

  • GGmadeit says:

    Lol at the YouTube reference! That was me! Hot mad because my hair didn't look like MahoganyCurls! Why I bought everything she mentioned and I mean EVERYTHING!

  • Anonymous says:

    Thank you I needed this reminder

  • Anonymous says:

    Sometimes i have experienced situation 2, espectular when i want to make a bun actually. 🙂 i just want it to be a little bigger. But very good article, and so right.

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