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Curly Nikki

Natural Hair Pet Peeves

By January 27th, 202150 Comments
Natural Hair Pet Peeves
by Shelli of Hairscapades

I didn’t make it under the dryer last night. So, as expected, my hair didn’t dry by the morning despite the fact that 8 1/2 hours have elapsed, it was almost completely dry before I applied my leave-in and styler (so dry in fact that I had to wet it slightly just to be assured I would get a set) and I wore a hair net instead of a bonnet to allow air flow. Seriously, my hair feels totally damp right now at 6 a.m. So, here I sit under the dryer, quickly writing this post, hoping that my hair will dry in 30 minutes, so that it will be workable.

That being said, my review of the Doris New York leave-in and Olive Oil cream will have to wait until tomorrow as will, what I hope will be, a new style debut. However, this little headache is the perfect little platform for a post that I’ve been thinking about for a couple of weeks. Natural Nuisances. Hair Headaches. Curly Pet Peeves.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I love natural hair. I love my natural hair. But, there are definitely things that work my last nerve, like my hair NEVER being even close to dry after sleeping in a wet set overnight. Here are a few more.

  • That strand of shed hair that hangs after I finish twisting, forcing me to untwist and release it because it’s decided to knot around a strand that is securely in my head. Then, twisting again only to have yet another frickin’ shed strand hanging and repeating the process all over again.
  • Finding that stray piece of hair that I missed after I finish twisting, braiding, styling my hair.
  • That piece of hair messing up my nice parts because it belongs with another section.
  • Manufacturers who discontinue my staple/holy grail product and replace it with a far inferior version (I have a thing about these crappy baggies with no lip and loose elastic. I can’t find a decent baggie anywhere!).
  • Running out of hot water in the shower during my hair rituals and having to finish with cool/cold water.
  • Forgetting to bring something I need into the shower or running out of it (ex. deep conditioner, hair clips, etc.) and having to jump out, soaking wet, to get it.
  • Totally running out of product when I’m only halfway done my hair and realizing I don’t have any in “stock.”
  • Natural hair wars (i.e. nastiness for just no dang good reason).
  • Constantly and repeatedly seeing “regiment” used instead of regimen and “course” instead of coarse (you know my Grammar Police ways start to kick-in).
  • That little stray piece of hair that wants to act a fool and hang longer than the rest, with nary a curl in sight, forcing you to try to coax it into an adjoining section throughout the day. And, just when you’re not looking, there that fool is, hanging out again!

**********************************************************************

What little things irk you about natural hair, the natural hair world and/or the process? Please add to the list in the comments below:)!!

50 Comments

  • TussahSilk says:

    Great post, and I loved the comments. Being only 5 months post relaxer, this clues me up on what's to come!

    One additional non-hair comment: my pet peeve is people not recognising that some of us use British & not American English; for us it is regime, not regimen. I tend to ignore the differences until someone tries to tell me that my use of English is wrong.

  • Anonymous says:

    Im two years in and my hair seems like its trying to hang but not quite there, it kills me because I feel like its playing with my emotions!

  • Kaliforniasgold says:

    Having a complete freak out before going to work because I am not as confident as I want to portray myself to be.

  • KosherKurly Girl says:

    Another hissy-fit-worthy one: The ones who oh-so -sweetly inquire,"What are you going to do about your hair for your wedding,dear?" as if your G-d given curls and swirls are some sort of flaw and unworthy to appear in your wedding photos or indeed anywhere in decent society.

  • KosherKurly Girl says:

    Pet Peeve Numero Uno: Random persons walking up and sticking their hands into my hair and then wondering why I grow annoyed at this.

  • hairscapades says:

    Anon @ 9:13, that last one is hilarious!!! LOL!!!

  • Anonymous says:

    •When other naturals talk about using conditioners as a styler to get shiny defined coils/curls, yet when I do it I get foamy white hair. And no one ever mentions this.
    • People who touch my hair without permission and have the audacity to tell me it's wet in disgust
    • Single stand knots
    • When residual conditioner combines with eco styler and creates annoying white balls in my hair
    • Hair breakage despite my gentle efforts
    • People interrupting me with calls/text messages while I'm trying to do my hair

  • Jacob Miller says:

    Excellent article. It’s really a good article. It gives me lots of pleasure and interest. It’s a most important post. So I want to know some other details about this article. Thanks

  • ChicaRizada94 says:

    Another thing…
    when other curlies approach me, and ask if I use S-curl or curl activator on my hair, and I say (with a smile), "No, it's just conditioner." Then they suspiciously eye my onyx coils, give me a "yeah, right" look and huff off. En serio? No es necesario! *mumbles in Spanish*

  • Adrienne says:

    Ditto Kitka82 on the density issue!
    I get peeved when…

    when I go to use a claw clip for a quick updo– and it snaps in half!

  • ChicaRizada94 says:

    Here are some of the things that annoy me about my natural hair:
    1. Shrinkage (My hair is 3-5 inches long stretched, but it still looks only about 1-2 inches long when left curly)

    2. Going to bed with slightly damp hair, and waking up with flattened, tangly curls.

    3. Getting constant "up and down" looks from girls with relaxers, weaves, etc. because they think there's a problem with me or my hair.

    4. Taking forever to grow! I do low manipulation (I only comb 1x a week and only twist my hair a couple of times a week to keep it from tangling at night), shampoo weekly1, oil it, moisturize daily, cover it every night, and treat it gently. After 10 months (BCed in September), my longest curls are about 4-5 inches long.

    I do agree that I had WAY more problems with my hair when it was relaxed (It'd be bone straight & thin after a touch up, get wavy after I washed it the next week, then explode into a puff when combed) than I do now.

  • hairscapades says:

    Those were funny Emily!!

  • Emily CottonTop says:

    I love this too!.. I followed up with my own post with mine, but I did quirks too..check it out!.. emilycottontop.com

    It would be cool to see everyones quirks as well. lol

    here is one:I love oils, if you had not figured that out already, prior to applying shampoo or even before a co-wash I will add oil to my hair for ease of detangling. So I get in the shower and do my thing,…after awhile my tub would get so slick from all the oil and ish I got in my hair, I literally am rinsing and praying that I stay upright and not kill myself over some oil!

  • Anonymous says:

    One time my hair tie broke and I had to ask a parking attendant for a rubberband.

  • hairscapades says:

    See, there's a typo (that extra "a" between "make" and "typos" … I wasn't being ironic!;). Of course, I noticed it immediately after I posted the comment!! Grrrr Arghh!! LOL!! I even tried proofreading this first! Guess that I didn't do a good job;)!

    Faren (love that name!), how about when a strand that belongs in one section of the twist somehow hooks up with the other half and you only realize this when you are releasing the twist? I usually get a tangle with that too and it musses up the definition I got a million of these;)!! But, I didn't want to take them all;)!!

    Good times, good times! 😉

    Shelli

  • hairscapades says:

    Thanks for all the comments ladies:)!! And thanks for clarifying that EnglishProf. Though, I admit, I make a typos … and usually notice them after I've hit "post comment!" Isn't that the worse? Ugggh! Yeah, that's another pet peeve … I think to myself, "See you should have proofread that!" And now that I have an iPhone, the auto-correct?! That thing will get you every time! It comes up with the craziest "corrections" sometimes!!

    Anywho, there are some great additions to the list. I definitely did this to be humorous and draw out our commonalities. I love my hair, even with the little things that sometimes annoy me (wouldn't have a hair blog if I didn't;). Oh, and now that I think about it, I should have said "hair wars" instead of prefacing it with "natural." Also, I thought the same thing that a few of you stated, there are straight/relaxed hair "peeves" too. Most of the ones I listed in the post were more specific to my natural hair because I've started paying far more attention to it in the last two years. When I was relaxed, many, many moons ago, my biggest peeve was that it would inevitably rain on the one day in six months that I would go to a salon to get my hair done. My friend used to say that I should go to a town suffering from drought and hit the salon … I'd save them all;)! LOL!!

    Oh, and to Nashira, regarding your last peeve, LMBO!! Okay, I do that too, because, if you don't people get mad! I'm serious! It's like the necessary disclaimer to protect yourself from liability!! Maybe we can find a way to put it in super tiny print on all videos and blogs so that it never has to be repeated or reposted again;)!!

    Anon @ 2:25! Thank you! I felt like I was the only one bemoaning the dire lack of decent plastic caps! What happened to them?!?! All the BSSs seem to only have that same pathetic version that has to be thrown away after one use! So, I've held onto my old ones and rinse them, so that I can reuse them … and reuse them I do!! LOL!!

    Thanks again for all the comments, the good reads and the laughs:)!

    Shelli

    *

  • Vonnababy2 says:

    1) single.strand.knots.
    2) realizing that I still have conditioner in my roots AFTER I have already begun styling.
    3) that wavy section in the back that refuses to curl and hangs down out of my fro.

  • faren says:

    EVERY PET PEEVE WAS SPOT ON! This was fun.

    Here's a few more:
    1) When I pull apart a twist and it tangles at the end.
    2)When a I have my hair in a pony tail or updo and the hair tie breaks…WHILE I'M OUT IN PUBLIC!

  • Anonymous says:

    "That little stray piece of hair that wants to act a fool and hang longer than the rest, with nary a curl in sight, forcing you to try to coax it into an adjoining section throughout the day. And, just when you’re not looking, there that fool is, hanging out again!"

    This happens to me a lot! I roll the end up and put a bobbi pin in it to keep it even with the rest of the curls. Its usually in the back so no one notices the bobbi pin.

  • Anonymous says:

    1. My hair taking so long to absorb product.
    2. My hair not liking the product this week that it liked last week.
    3. Dingbats who criticize other people's hair (whether natural or not), especially the despicable jerks who take pictures of unsuspecting strangers and then want to post it on the internet forums and talk about them.

  • EnglishProf says:

    @ Anon 12:52 and Bobby…She didn't make an error; it was intended to be "will". Reread the sentence and pay attention to the punctuation. She's just using a lil bit of advanced sentence structuring!

    BTW, I love ALL of these comments. Straight hair was never THIS fun! lol

  • Anonymous says:

    Pet Peeved:

    My damn natural-hair girlfriend saying, "you know she has good hair." She says this about nearly every light skinned or mixed person she sees. Sometimes she sounds so ignorant – I don't argue. I just leave a fool a fool. Most of the times I am thinking, "Really, good hair who cares."

  • Nashira says:

    I agree with KGilbert about thinking you took down all your braids or twists, except for me it's with bantu knots. One morning while walking to class I touched my hair, making sure there weren't any parts showing, only to find that there were still two bantu knots sitting at the crown of my head. Embarrassing!!
    Also how sooo many videos and articles at some point mention, "Now, this is what works for me. Find what works for you. What works for me may not work for you." I GET IT!!! Just move on with the program lol

  • Anonymous says:

    HAAAA! I love this! I can identify with EVERY ONE! and I feel you on the baggies. Can't find a good one to save my life…smh

  • KC says:

    My pet peeves:

    1) Unsolicited advice. Sometimes I just need to vent, sans commentary.
    2) My hair takes forever to [twist, braid, dry, etc] because it's so dense. I appreciate the thickness of it, but styling my hair can take forty forevers. Some people use only 4 sections to condition or style. I use 4… on one side of my head. 🙂

  • Anonymous says:

    I can't seem to get my hair to dry ever..overnight or under the hood dryer. I'd have to sit there for hours. So agree with the wet hair pet peeve.
    Also, not to bring up race, but I'm sure I'm not the only one to endure the confused white folk or two that say "Wow how do you get your hair like that…" And I won't even mention the black folks who can't understand the natural hair journey.
    Lastly, I am with you guys who hate it when you can't get your hair to repeat a super cute style you did last week.

  • Anonymous says:

    Many of these are spot on lol. Humorous post. I think though, that these are hair pet peeves in general. Everyday surely wasn't a good hair day when I was relaxed or used to straighten. One thing that annoys me above all are the folks who swear up and down that ANYONE with a relaxer, or even a press n' curl for that matter, is straightening their hair in an attempt to fit in or is straightening as a form of self hate. Dare I say that's.. rubbish, crap, not that serious. It isn't necessary to turn everything into some deep rooted concept nor is it appropriate to generalize; most times, it just isn't that deep. it's pretty obvious that straight hair, in many cases, is easier to manage than hair that is curly, kinky, coily,and so on. Some women simply want manageability; I sure did. And though natural now, everyone is entitled to their own reasons (good or bad) for either going natural or choosing to relax. Just wish the "natural hair police" would police something actually worth policing.

    –Kamera

  • Anonymous says:

    A word of advice to those who don't want to defend their natural hair to family members who have relaxers: Stop defending your natural hair to family members who have relaxers. When you stop defending, the conversation ends.

  • Meli says:

    I definitely agree with

    -Defending my natural hair from family members who have relaxers

    My main pet peeve is shrinkage. My hair is getting so long but if I don't braid my hair at night my hair gets shorter and shorter each day until I have a 1 inch long fro… my hair is about 7 inches long.

    Plus the daily braiding sucks for my hair due to constant manipulation.

    Oh! one of my new peeves are tangles too! It really sucks when there isn't much you can do about tangles and you end up losing that knotted batch of hair. I mourn my hair every time it happens. I wore kinky twist extensions for 5 weeks and I had the worst knots at the root!

    has anyone had the same issue?

  • Elaine D. says:

    omg…detangling and all really well, and while sealing a section real quick, my super curly coils curl up on themselves causing…a knot…this really bothers me.

    I have a 60% shrinkage that does not make me happy. I dread moisturizing even though I do it all the time because it's so discouraging to see the same length forever 🙁 Yet when I stretch it out…It's like va va vuum….

  • Unknown says:

    I can't stand when my twist outs turn into twist don'ts.

    I don't like when I have a hairstyle pictured in my head but then my hair doesn't want to cooperate and I get the exact opposite.

    I can't stand shrinkage.

    Thinking I took down all my twists or braids only to snag one while I'm combing

  • Sophie says:

    haha! I'm right there with you on those, especially the ones about little stray pieces of hair messing up your twists, or that one shed hair that refuses to come off.. I thought I was the only one, haha

    I second the wet hair overnight… it's like seriously? I feel like my hair is defying the physical laws of diffusion because there is no way that when I wake up with a scratchy throat because my apartment is so dry, water molecules should still be *on* my hair! Another one is being asked when I'm going to get my hair done by female relatives/ family friends, even when it is looking extra neat. It is done, people! It is also frustrating to find a product that works, only to find that a few weeks later when the weather changes it won't work nearly as well, womp.

    These things used to upset me quite because I wanted everything to be easy, but they roll off my back now because I know that any trial and error and comment deflection is worth figuring out my hair so I can take care of it for life!

  • Anonymous says:

    I also hate reading "regime" when the person meant "regimen". I know that may be picky, but with the U.S. being in two wars against brutal regimes, it drives me nuts.

  • Bobby says:

    @Anonymous @ 12:52 isn't it something how those who try to correct someone else's grammar always end up making a grammar mistake themselves…LMAO!
    GREAT CATCH, BY THE WAY 🙂

  • Anonymous says:

    lol Shelley your grammar police ways lead you to write will as opposed to well. SMH
    "That being said, my review of the Doris New York leave-in and Olive Oil cream will have to wait until tomorrow as will"

  • Anonymous says:

    I agree so much with Anonymous 11:17 that we had straight/relaxed hair pet peeves also; but I think the further we are removed from them in time, the less we remember them. Sure I feel frustrated sometimes, but when I compare it to the years of relaxed hair frustration, natural hair care doesn't even come close to being that much of a problem. Women of all races and hair types have love/hate relationships with their hair, they go from long to short, color, straighten, curl, get bored with it, and so on. That said – I can own the above list of pet peeves, but I always strive to put it in perspective.

  • Ashley Jane says:

    My biggest pet peeve is that the longer my hair gets the less I like it in curly styles since it has less volume…. It just hangs now and bores me. The hanging wouldn't bother me if the length showed but because of shrinkage it just looks like boring shoulder length hanging hair instead of a "hey watch out now" curly fro. Being in an inbetween stage sucks. 🙁

  • fabwtalk@hotmail.com says:

    Lmao! I went through the first three just last night and the last one just this morning, smh! Another pet peeve is acquiring new regimens as my length gets longer. Don't get me wrong, I love that my hair is growing but changing the routine you are already use to can be dreadful.

  • Anonymous says:

    Crown curl resistance also.

    Major pet peeve: people who worry and entertain the hair wars. Law of Attraction. On some level if its bothering you, you must be giving it attention.

  • Anonymous says:

    Can we all agree that we had straight/relaxed hair pet peeves as well? Some of this is self inflicted punishment. Years ago when I went natural, all of these blogs weren't around. I was still a pj, but I was using regular products with all of the (bad) ingredients. I had absolutely no problems at all. Throw "them" twists in a pony tail, and keep it moving! 🙂

  • Angel says:

    yes I agree waking up with hair that is damp is my biggest and my hair isn't even as long as her's and yet it still happens I just don't get how 8 hours can still equal wet hair smh

  • Black Beauty says:

    I suffer from straight crown syndrome aka SCS as well! It's so frustrating. Makes me want to BC all over again!

  • Anonymous says:

    My crown's curl resistance. I could do all kinds of twist outs, twist ins, twisters, knot this, knot that, twist and knots…you name it, and as soon as I begin styling, there goes whatever twist or curl it had.
    I would love to rock a fro, but with the top straight and all the rest curly…I don't think that it's look very good.

  • LadyV69 says:

    I co-sign with a few things:
    1. running out of hot water before you're done washing your hair.
    2.having a loose strand of hair after having braiding or twisting the rest of your hair up. Totally hate that.
    3. washing and setting your hair the night before only for it to still be damp at 7:30AM the next morning. That happened to me today and I had to put a headband around my hair for it to look halfway decent. I don't have the kind of dryer that you sit under and I use heat as little as possible. Still hate it though.

    Another thing that irks me is the debate on what being natural is. Some people take it to the extreme to mean that only picked out fros are natural and not twist/braid outs, wash and goes, etc. Natural to me is not using chemicals to permenantly alter your texture.

  • Anonymous says:

    Hmmmm, these may be my top 3:

    -Untwisitng what appears to be a perfect set until I get to the last twist and it's still wet and frizzy (I was a bit bitter that morning)
    -Having perfect hair when no one sees me and unruly strands when I'm in public
    -Defending my natural hair to family members who have relaxers

  • Beth says:

    Re: "Constantly and repeatedly seeing 'regiment' used instead of regimen and 'course' instead of coarse (you know my Grammar Police ways start to kick-in)."

    Yes! I have to take pains to ignore these errors, since folks really, really don't appreciate being corrected, and no one takes the hint when you use the proper word/spelling–the "regiment" continues marching on down the thread.

  • Anonymous says:

    – Waking up in the middle of the night, touching my hair, & it's still damp!
    – Always being short one bobby pin or not being able to find one single ouchless band in the middle of styling
    – Accidentally creating a cute hairstyle and can't remember how to configure it again
    – Missing products, combs, etc.
    – When my hair wants to hang down instead of sticking up and tomorrow wants to stick up instead of hang down
    – People commenting what hairstyle of mine they prefer over another when they could have shut up at "hi!"
    – The good hair vs. bad hair debate
    – Being described as,"… you know, that girl with the natural hair?!"

  • Anonymous says:

    My biggest pet peeve:

    I rock great hair for a week. Wash day arrives. I do my washing rituals and style using the same product and technique as the previous week. BUT my hair turns out different i.e. not great. WTH??? So I spend the next few days frantically trying to achieve hair greatness again with various styling products, often to no avail. Wash day comes again and I pray (and cross my fingers) that the hair gods will smile on me.

    Thankfully my bad hair days are usually only apparent to me lol and I still get lots of compliments. It's just really frustrating to do the exact same thing and get a different result.

  • Anonymous says:

    SHRINKAGE!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Anonymous says:

    I also hate it when I find that loose hair after you have twisted everything up!

    Also, once I think I've found the ideal shampoo, conditioner, etc., there's like 101 different brands popping up! LOL

    Great post! (Oh, I hate running out of hot water in the shower too!)

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