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Curly Nikki

New Rule- High Heels in the Kitchen

By January 27th, 2021122 Comments
New Rule- High Heels in the Kitchencirca spring 2002… don’t. even.

Hola Chicas,

So hubby cautiously pointed out I realize that lately my hair has been twisted up and hidden away… nose in the corner… on a timeout… allowed to see the light of day only for special occasions. But before you pat me on the back for my length protecting ways, know that this has much more to do with my time management skills, or lack thereof. Between the Man, the Boog, the clients, black bean salsa prep and y’all… I barely have time to shave my legs… or lotion them for that matter… hey, it’s winter and lotion only hits the places folks can see *shrugs*.

Yes, I’m still cute with my hipster, vagabond chic slouchy beanies, but I certainly don’t feel very much like a sexy beast… especially knowing that what lies beneath is a frickin’ bonnet. And while I’m more than aware that sexy is a state of mind, right now I’m feeling about as sexy as a pair of tube socks… after you’ve walked through something wet.

I suppose I’ve had an epiphany of sorts… especially after revisiting some of our other TMI moments. Like many of you, I’ve decided that this ish ends here. I’m bringing sexy back… throwing caution to the wind and letting my hair down… at least more often that I have been. Not just for getting down with the get down, but even when hanging around the house. Per usual, grandma was right… no matter what, even with all the love in the world, at some point, without realizing it, you WILL take eachother for granted. Ten years later, and I’m walking around the house, head tied up, legs all ashy and prickily. Really booboo? The only time I get dolled up is for other people and that ain’t right.

So, new rule…

No, I won’t be ‘all up in the kitchen in my heels’, but I will let my hair out more often… even lotion the places the sun don’t shine! Toot it it up, poke it out, and suck it in, honey!

I’m excercising my right to remain sexy.*shimmy and pose*

So… who’s with me?!

Later Gators,
Nik

122 Comments

  • Anonymous says:

    Still one of my favorite posts. Great points in this one Nikki πŸ™‚

  • Jamie says:

    I don't have a man to toot it for, but i am definitely wanting to feel more sexy. Sometimes I think it's just the winter weather that makes ppl slack off. Anyway, I'm down for the countdown!

  • MrsWardy88 says:

    You to cute nikki

  • luvmylocs says:

    great post! we need to be aware. this is something simple we can do that will add to the flavor of a healthy relationship.

  • Anonymous says:

    Lol! totally can relate. i like to protect the mane as well but, still maintain the sexy with a little makeup or lip gloss and a nice bun up do. i plan to get a dominican blowout for length check. Hubby will like that. i know about the ashiness and shaving. i try to shave the calf area if i am wearing capris and lotion the areas exposed. LOL! loved this article.

  • Ebonique says:

    You most definitely spoke the truth on this one! I'm takin it all in!!

  • Anonymous says:

    Hey Ladies:

    I applaud you Nikki for getting this memo early. I'm 39 years old, never married, and celibate. But I go to bed cute every night. One time my roommate marveled why I insisted upon matching underwear (boy short tank sets) and perfume to go to bed. Now granted I have no kids or hubby or the other responsibilities you do. But I think we have one thing in common. We love ourselves. Love for myself is what motivates this. And I think when I do marry, God willing (seem not likely), I'll be accustomed. I do where a silk wrap to bed…but I tie it cute. When I marry I'll spring for the satin pillow case so I can whip my hair back and forth on my boo….LOL! But this is fun. I suggest…boy short and a tank for bed. And around the house just a little cute "tube" dress. really short to show your thighs. And when you are really "on one like in your photo w/ your hubby a few months back" put lil Gia down and put on your stilettos and serve you honey dinner girl. A wise woman told me somethign I can't wait to try when I marry. She said, "girl men are simple…wanna please, show up NAKED and bring food" That would be a nice surprise to spice things up around the house. LOL

  • Anonymous says:

    Nikki, this is why I love this site. It's not all about the hair. It's about your life and how we can all relate. Girl, I went through a stage when all I wanted to wear were granny panties. What can I say? They are comfy as hell! When my boo complained, I ignored. Shoot, I've had you for seven years, I know damn sure you won't leave me for unsexy undies. But the truth is, you should keep it fresh, as if it were just the beginning of your courtship. The more I thought about it, the more I realized that I was wrong. I threw out my granny panties and got some grown and sexy undies. Now my boo is happy again!

  • Unknown says:

    I need to step my game up too. I definitely need to tighten up this body right.

  • MJ says:

    Ooook…This is how it all got started, Nikki: sexy panties, bra, home gear. Keep it up and you'll end up with another G and back writing another story about bringing sexy back. πŸ™‚

  • Meli says:

    You look so beautiful in this pic Nikki. It reminds me of me and my boyfriend. Going 6 years strong since high school πŸ˜‰

    He actually loves it when I wear baggy basketball shorts, but if I want to change it up and still be comfy, yoga pants look really good with a fitted t shirt πŸ˜‰

    -meli

    P.s. I'm not mad about missing the NYC event anymore! You're too nice for me to hold a grudge πŸ˜‰ thanks for the quick email replies!

  • Chardae says:

    I found myself in this situation today. My bf kindly reminded me he was home, so I tossed the bonnet, found some lip gloss & earrings and squirted on some perfume. His frown turned upside down real quick!

  • Anonymous says:

    My word, you just wrote my life story!! I'm joining in the fight. Now more ashy, hairy, crazy haired me either! πŸ™‚ Thanks Nikki!

  • Natural_fienD says:

    You look really pretty in your pic … glowing.

  • K+La says:

    {laughing….hard} You are too funny. But speak the truth. I've been thinking you should do a post that asks your readers suggestions on how us natural {ahem}vixens go to bed sexily without looking like Celie (Color Purple). I would love to add some ideas to my arsenal.

  • jaimitch says:

    I was just talking to my cousin about how I haven't lotioned my legs in atleast a week. Something about the winter coming, I dont shave above my knee and only lotion when parts will be visibly accesible to the public. I'm motivated, before I get the husband go ahead and start making some changes (opening new browser to check on anthropologie).

  • Anonymous says:

    We put on lotion on the weekends. The rest of the time we just love up on our ashy selves!

    shasha aka naturalnow99

  • Anonymous says:

    Speaking of baby bumps…I'm 10 weeks along with Papoose #4…yet I look more like I'm about 4 months! Geezers!! Gotta love motherhood. Anyway, between the queasiness and all, I don't feel up to much of anything, especially after a full day of work, and taking care of my other 3 little ones. I said all of that to say…that gosh darnit, lol, I'm gonna get my sexy swag back, no matter what it takes! I'm gonna get a facial, get some new makeup, and go ahead and raid my 'red bottoms' savings fund, so I can go all out on some new nighties! Thanks for the inspiration!

  • curlychefrobin says:

    I'm with you Nikki! I don't have a husband or boyfriend but I MUST get the sexy back for me!! I'm with you on this. Time to get the exercise on and the hair a flowing!

  • Mrs. J says:

    Aww, thank you Nikki!! A little girl…diva in training already, lol πŸ™‚ !!

  • CURLYNIKKI says:

    congrats Mrs. J!!!! 23 weeks, boy or girl?!

  • Mrs. J says:

    I guess I have it good then because let me wear a pair of sweats (fitted or loose) and a T, barefoot around the house and it's a wrap!!! Hubby likes the sexy satin stuff but the moment he sees me pull a tank or a T out the drawer…his eyes light up like Christmas and next thing you know we're playing "tag."

    He's always had this thing "for curves that even sweats can't hide," lol….he's been this way since high school and it's only gotten "worse" since my baby bump (I'm 23 weeks along) started showing!!

  • CURLYNIKKI says:

    OMG! Reading your comments have been so amazing and entertaining. thanks for the input, suggestions and hilarious relatable stories! xoxoxo

  • Anonymous says:

    2 years into marriage and I am in the same boat. Shaving my legs last night was a real "accomplishment" for me!! So! Thanks for confirming that (1) I am not alone with letting things get a little out of hand and (2) that exposing the sexy will only benefit and enhance things in my household. Gotta just now find the time…

  • Anonymous says:

    LOOOOOOL I love you Nikki… this post was awesome. And SO NECESSARY. Honestly ever since my husband explained the whole visual thing to me I've understood men in general on a whole 'nother level, much deeper than I ever have. (You see, it's why I HAD to marry dude, lol!)

    Before I had our son I was definitely giving him sexy, wearing all kinds of lacy things going to bed. Except now with a 2 year old that gets into EVERYTHING I find myself with even less energy to put towards BASIC sexy, smh.

    On a good note though a couple weeks back I bought a simple black nightie to wear around the house, built-in bra, knee-length. And lemme just say he can't. keep. his. hands. to. himself. Seriously! Lmao. I have more work to do but things are looking up!

  • Anonymous says:

    LMBO!!!! If you could have seen my face after reading "pair of tube socks… after you've walked through something wet" That is one of the WORST feelings in the world… LOL That definitely the funny I needed today :-)GRACIAS..

  • Anonymous says:

    "I am so with you. I just flat ironed my hair for the first time in years and he looooooves it. Its been two weeks and I am ready to wash it but he is pleading for me not to wash yet. He teases saying now he can grab it. Bring back the SEXY. We need a another boog in the near future."

    you don't have to flat iron your hair to be sexy.

  • A.belledesoleil says:

    Girl the sexy is soo necessary! Even if just for yourself. I know it's work but it is a must. Kudos and I'm sure hubby will appreciate πŸ˜€

  • Anonymous says:

    Nikki,
    I am with you! I just shaved my legs for the first time since the summer ended…smdh. And I know my husband loves me because I have several mini pineapples on my head at night with my scarves/bonnets looking straight crazy.
    I look good going to work; then come home and look like someone who has "issues". By then, the baby oil has worn off the places the sun does not see πŸ™‚
    In my Justin Timberlake voice…"I'm bringin' sexy back"!
    Etoy

  • Anonymous says:

    Here's an idea: just buy a bunny outfit and wear it around the house. The kids will think its Haloween and they're fun to clean in…

  • Anonymous says:

    You do it for me. My feet hurt (LOL)

  • Rhonda says:

    Some really cute lounge pants are Aeropostal's sweats(like them better than VS, they're thicker)or their yoga pants that flare at the bottom and flip down at the waist. Their tops and t's are cute too. You can wear them in or out and just give the old stuff to goodwill. Because as long as they are in the house I sure will wear them…lol!

  • Monica says:

    OMG!! This topic was right on time. I had this epiphany about two weeks ago. Our daughter will be 2 in January and I feel like an old maid and I ain't even hit 30 yet. I have got to do better. I did bought some non-nursing bras, hallelujah! Now if I could just get her to quit nursing, I can wear some of my cuter stuff during the day. I have pulled out my tighter sweaters and cute jeans to wear regularly instead of sweatshirts and ratty jeans. Thanks for the tips ladies!!

  • Anonymous says:

    OH MY GOODNESS!
    This is sad. I've only been married for 11 months and I don't have the energy to look cute anymore.
    Hubby asked where all the honeymoon stuff was AFTER the honeymoon…lol. I missed my flanel. No jedi mind trick is going to work on him. I need to get a cuter bonnet too…my head looks like a mummy with "all that's satin" wrapped on my head. I'm going a little too far with the whole must.keep.moisturized. thingy.

    A little personal but I'm recently on a quest to find a way to keep my hair from rubbing on all thats NOT silk and satin during…you know. As a newleywed and naturalista, I'm getting very annoyed with the impromptu love making sessions that I know are hindering and I mean with a capital H my growth! Just have to figure out how to grab my bonnett…or lay bonnets around the house lol….Gotta love him!
    Nikki, help with this!
    (Mrs E.)

  • Anonymous says:

    GET IT NIKKI! LOL

  • Ms. KeepingItReal says:

    I agree!!! It's so easy to get caught up in just not getting dolled up for your man especially in the winter…all the cute shoes can't come out in snow and the wind is a beast on the hair…but thank God for roofing systems lol and a home. I say GO FOR IT and I'M WITH YOU!!! but I will be wearing the 5-6" heels in the kitchen! Heels, sweat pants capri style, wife beater and curls galore (or at least what I have lmbo) with no make-up…maybe a little lip gloss…my lip gloss is popping ha! Natural beauty!!! Thanks Nikki!!

    –nola_allure

  • Anonymous says:

    Thanks so much for this. It is funny how we do get so busy with life that we overlook keeping it sexy for our mates. I'm a stay at home mother and sometimes I'm to tired by the end of the day. I'm so with you. I foresee a lot of HAPPY mates!! And with men it doesn't have to be to over the top, just a lil sexy can go along way..lol

  • donna dorrane says:

    lol…too funny. been there, done that, especially after having a baby.

    And I think it's even harder when you live on the east coast during fall and winter, and it's so gloomy outside, that you don't feel like doing anything but schlepping around in "comfy clothes" *guilty*. But I discovered years ago, that the more I pamper my body, with body scrubs, lotions, and such during the winter months….gurrrrrrrl….there is a difference in your skin come summertime, and you start peeling off those clothes, and revealing new skin.

    After I saw the difference (1) summer. I continued pampering during winter months, and I've been doing that for years.

  • Anonymous says:

    I am so with you. I just flat ironed my hair for the first time in years and he looooooves it. Its been two weeks and I am ready to wash it but he is pleading for me not to wash yet. He teases saying now he can grab it. Bring back the SEXY. We need a another boog in the near future.

  • CURLYNIKKI says:

    I too am a nude sleeper, lol.

  • Anonymous says:

    Maaaaaaan I need some new yoga pants. I try to keep it sexy around the house with a pair of leggings and a tank or off-the-shoulder tee. After my kids (3 & 4 yr olds) go to bed, I often strut around in a tank and boyshorts. And the most I sleep in is a tank and my boyshorts. I usually sleep topless or completely nude.

  • Anonymous says:

    A male friend recently posted the subject of how some women were dolled in Halloween costumes, but wore sweats; Tees; and scarves/bonnets to bed. As much as I wanted to chew him out for his "manly" observation, my guilt held me back -especially since I was rocking the very unappealing "in the house get- up" he was referring to. When asked, my hubby had the same walking on thin ice response… Needless to say, I went out to buy a satin pillowcase, and a satin nighty to match….

  • Mslici says:

    I rack up at fredericks when they are having the 50% off sales. I try sleeping in those or nothing. Sometimes I am in the sweats and thats usually winter. If hubby complains, he just needs to know the heating bill will be a bit higher.

  • Anonymous says:

    OMG!! I feel the same way ladies. The Hubs and I went out on a date for the first time in like 3 months. Between finishing up grad school, our 7 month old, and trying to maintain some sense of order in our home…so company can come over, and not think that we're slobs. I have lost my sexy. Tonight was the first time in months that I have worn make-up, heels, and rocked my natural curls without the pony tail. We live in the DC metro. My fam is in Atlanta,GA…his is in the NC. If we don't hire help…we don't get free time. And…currently the hubs is the only one working while I am finishing up grad school, 3 more classes…1 research project…and an intern and I'm done…then comes all of the licensing exams. Nikki I feel your pain!!!

  • Anonymous says:

    Hubby offered to pay for a pedicure for me the other day….bro is cheap as ever so you know my feet need a bot o' help…got him with the bomb toe nails/feet…guessing I better "step it up"–literally!

  • Anonymous says:

    I am so in…had a conversation with DH about this a week ago. After 2 kids, I have to bring SEXY back not only for him but for ME.

  • Anonymous says:

    It's something I've always advocated to all my friends–married or single (I'm 51)–look good for self first and everyone else will appreciate it too!

  • Anonymous says:

    High heels in the kitchen? Yup! and red too!
    and that will be all πŸ˜‰
    no one taught me how to be sexy
    its just my nature.

  • Anonymous says:

    Got to agree with SouthernDiva about the yoga pants. The hubbie loves anything that shows off the bootay! As for nighttime, a pretty scarf tied up like a pirate protects the hair and keeps me looking cute.

  • Anonymous says:

    I am with you Nikki!!!! My husband of 20yrs comes home from Afghanistan in December and I will be bringing my sexy back.

  • Anonymous says:

    I'm with you!

  • Anonymous says:

    You are a reeeaaallll sister and I love it. I'm going through the same time as well. Thanks for bringing up the topic!! LOL

  • Tahmeka says:

    You crack me up! This is all true though. We all come to this realization after a new baby. About a year in you look in the mirror like "Dude"

    Good luck!

  • Anonymous says:

    love this post Nikki thanks for the reminder :). My husband has been gone this past year in Iraq and comes home next week. Needless to say, while he has been gone I have done the complete fool while lounging around the house alone but thank you for the pep talk-we do need to keep it sexy for our husbands :).

  • Anonymous says:

    I LOVE the topic and the fun involved in keeping up on the keep up!

    My SO loves seeing me in my workout gear, then afterwards when I'm totally soaked, then after the "transformation" – into some funky leggings, a cute T or tank top, VS loungewear (the sexy stuff), a high puff (with some of the longer curls left hanging in the back for him to pull at), and something sweet smelling sprayed on all over my body to tease the nostrils. He begs to massage lotion/oil on to help me keep my skin well moisturized. Now, THAT has become part of my a.m. ritual.

    Every now and then, I shock the heck out of him with something wild (i.e leopard print bustier, very high heels and a long feather). Lol!

    Your throwback pic is awesomely cute. Keep the flame burning!!

  • Anonymous says:

    I guess because I'm hot natured (don't know if people say that but I'm country)the more clothes the less comfortable I feel. I actually wear the teddies from my bridal shower (the non lacey/scratchy ones) or my hubby's "wifebeater."

    Plus I don't sleep in anything!
    There's a suggestion ladies….. πŸ˜‰

  • Anonymous says:

    I'll share with you all my RECENT experience…prepping for bed, reached for my usual cotton bikini underwear and cotton tank. The BF said, "No." All I could do was laugh because he was so calm, yet serious. I said, "Ok, what do YOU want me to wear?" He found a pair of lace boy shorts (that I'd forgotten I even had)for me to put on. I did, but said how I didnt think they "looked right" on me. He replied, "It aint about what YOU like". He reminded me that men are visual creatures and that he had an INSTANT "reaction" (use your adult imagination) when I put them on.
    Lesson learned!!! And after the night we had…lesson REALLY learned!!

  • Grown Ass Woman says:

    Also want to add that I'm at the 36.5 yr mark, single mom, working hard, etc, and I sure was in a rut, and know what I did? Chatted with a Sephora makeup artist about how to just brighten up my world (sometimes it starts from the outside in), and while her suggestions have added at least 10-15 minutes to my morning routine, I definitely feel a bit "extra" in a good way. My sis and I talk about things like makeup and workouts and things that are fun to us, like a couple of teenagers, even though we're in our 30s and parents (she married with 2 kids, and me single with 1 son) – I guess we're making up for what we didn't do in our teens, but doing things like my hair and makeup daily, wearing my contacts more than my glasses a little more often, shoes with heels instead of flats (sometimes) has added a little pep in my step for me. I'm still mad about the makeup taking more than the usual 3 minutes, but it's kinda fun πŸ™‚

  • Ronnie says:

    I'm with you girl! Today, I will shower, shave, and shimmy!

  • CURLYNIKKI says:

    @ Shak #dead @ jedi mind trick

  • Grown Ass Woman says:

    Will wearing sexy stuff around the house help me get a man? lol!

    Anyway, I was just having this conversation with an engaged friend and she was on the "I gotta keep it sexy" tip. and I hear that. Only thing I can think of, and what I've heard other women do, is the whole sexy underwear thing, so imagine your guy coming home after a hard day's work to you in your sweats, and all of a sudden "peek-a-boo, is that lace I see?" Do some Jedi mind trick with the sexy gear, and have fun (I hear it works, lol!)!

  • keisha says:

    cute pic! working on getting that sexy back!

  • Anonymous says:

    This is me! You described my conversation with my husband last night exactly.

  • Anonymous says:

    great post!

  • Lavette says:

    So yeah,while reading this I'm sitting in a oversized t shirt on sans bra(SMH) after reading this I said to myself" self you do need to get it together and bring your sexy back" only I thought I said it to myself but I was really speaking out loud…hubbie then.proceeds to tell me" yeah you do need to put some boy shorts or a thong with a tank top on and dip it low and bring it up back slow" LOL he is a mess but its so true…..today is BRING SEXY BACK DAY!!!!

  • Alimom says:

    Thanks for this!!! I too am almost 10 yrs married and with a 4yr old running around, time for working on sexy me is null and void. But you're right, gotta bring it back. Now that I'm 46, I've gotta work a little harder and push myself to put the effort in but, it will probably make me feel better and younger if I do. I hope the hubby recognizes and maybe even get's a clue to join in the "makin' and effort" new attitude!

  • CURLYNIKKI says:

    LOLOLOLOLOL @ RisesPhoenix! I'm guilty of all of those… I had on a tshirt with no pants today… ashy legs. What the hell. This mess must stop. I was looking like a lil' dirty kid… fuzzy head and all.

  • HolisticLifeRN says:

    I recently had the same revaluation. I was especially bad because on my days off I'd be dressed running around then get home and immediately change into my "house clothes" before my husband could even get home… smh. Someone mentioned tights, yoga pants, and tanks. Those are the things I now buy in bulk, lol. They are fabulous, sexy, and comfy! As far as hair, I always have my hair out since I have loss now. But, I do go to bed with a du-rag on. ;p;

  • Anonymous says:

    Right on time Curly Nikki I was just thinking yesterday I need my sexy back. I'll be getting 2 pair of yoga pants this week with some sexy tops. I have also been practicing putting on false eye lashes (to me there is nothing more sexier than a sista in her lashes). I have not felt sexy since I went natural (mostly because of hair styling challenges and hair styles are not consistent), but it looks like I am past all that now. I am looking forward to being sexy this winter and adding four new men to my contact list (will probably have to ween out at least three of them). Yelp, I feel ready to "do me," again!

  • RisesPhoenix says:

    You are so right Nikki. It's been 7 years for us and I have a tendency to walk around in yoga pants and a bra! With my satin bonnet just adding to that appeal. Too lazy to put a shirt on, even now when I have a big old pregnant stomach in front of me! You can also find me in these appealing outfits – a monster sized tshirt with no pants, a holey nightgown in the middle of the day and, my personal favorite, his undershirt with his basketball pants. And the bonnet goes on as soon as I hit the door. I need to get myself together! Can't imagine how much lower I'll sink after the baby comes if I don't check myself now.

  • Wendy says:

    Well that's just great Nik, giggle, just put all my business out there….. (I say this to you while I sit here typing with about 5 scrunchies in my hair trying to do pineapples, a robe, my jammies (hey they are comfy as all get out this cold Sunday) and crocs with socks). The hubs is watching football, but even in his robe (I guess he's vegging as well) he looks HOT as hell…..I wonder what he's thinking about this look I've got going on today…..le sigh……

    Fine, Fine Nik…you've gone and done it…..motivated me to change today….and I thought I was just gonna read about some hair stuff on your blog today…..you've gone and laid the guilt trip on me…..well thanks missy :)…

    Nah, but for real for real….you've got a great point….(index finger on chin)….I shall contemplate your post and move towards change….thank you kindly…chuckle πŸ™‚

  • Anonymous says:

    This post was right on time. I was just having this conversation with my boyfriend. Assuring him I was not getting "too comfortable" and slacking on my appearance..at least not slacking forever lol. I'm glad I am not the only one in a rut. I promised him I would get it together. *running to put on my cute pajamas*

  • Anonymous says:

    let us cater to our boos ladies

  • kat says:

    LOL! Too funny.

  • Anonymous says:

    Lmao this post and these comments are hilarious!

    Love the throw back picture, yall look so young lol

  • Farrah says:

    Nikki, this post was so in point!! I just came to the realization on Friday that I needed to bring sexy back ASAP, when the hubbie said girl you need to get it together this morning then reading this post I know I know now I have gots to do better yall….now if I can.just get in the kitchen and fry some chicken with some heels on it will be good in this hood:)!!!!( granny told me that works all the time chicken and heels)

  • Anonymous says:

    Nikk, you and the CurlyNikki family had me rollin with laughter, especially about the ashy-ness. Cuz I'm looking down at my own ashy feet and shaking my head. I'm not married or dating at the moment but I need to practice so I'm already in the mode when the opportunity arises. So, I will go soak these feet in a bucket of hot Epson salt water, then commence "going to work on my feet" like Sha-nay-nay did Myra's feet on MARTIN(googles and electric sandpaper Sander)ha!
    Allnatural1 (Michelle in TX)

  • najmaj says:

    This post had me DYING!!!! lol, I was nodding and laughing my head the entire time. It's good to know I'm not the only woman whose been in violation lately. lol I vow to spice it up and get back to the sexy me. So long frumpiness

  • MommieDearest says:

    *Off to Target to get some yoga pants. And a few tight T-shirts…*

  • Anonymous says:

    LOL at this post. I'm ready for the book!

  • CURLYNIKKI says:

    thank you divas for the comments! It's so funny how nothing in this world is new… we're all going through the same stuff which can be comforting in a weird way. I'm going to the mall tomorrow to up my home lounging game… buying some new panties… new bras… things of that nature πŸ™‚

    Love y'all!!!

  • CURLYNIKKI says:

    LOL @ NaturalQuick. I'm sitting here sans bra too which surely ain't helping the situation!

  • NaturalQuick says:

    As I sit here with an oversized t-shirt (his) and no bra (I have to say, they aren't perky anymore, not after 2 kids), I totally relate. My poor husband. SMH! I have got to get it together, FAST!

  • Anonymous says:

    Excellent article Nik! I'm with you a million times over!

  • Anonymous says:

    I'm glad to hear it I decided to get my sexy back to and I don't have no hubby or man just a 10 year old son. It's been a long time coming and just like you we need to do better for ourselves but especially you don't forget to do the things you use to do for him and to him. So go get your sexy back and this has nothing to do with boogie and everything to do with her.

  • niknak5 says:

    Hilarious yet true…. Although the ashy part I try to avoid. Just a pet peeve of mine, no offense. But, it is good to know I'm not the only one. Coming up on my 2 year wedding anniversary I try to be cognizant of those things [wearing glasses with the satin bonnet lol,paired with socks etc, but a sistah's gotta be able to see the tv and protect her hair at bedtime right??? lol My mom has cautioned me about this as well.My response, women have to do so much to keep up, while me just show up lol
    Often I think of an episode of 'A Different World' when newlywed Whitley gets up before Dewayne to 'beatify her sleeping self' so when Dewayne gets up he sees her glowing in her sleep. lmao
    When lounging I try to wear a fitted long sleeve spandex v- neck shirt with fitted sweat pants or yoga pants… You can find items like these a TJ Maxx or Marshalls.[active wear section for pants, shirts in juniors or ladie's dept.]

  • CurlyYo says:

    Inspirational. I too see myself in your post. Hair up 24/7 and lotion only on hands, forearm and ankles. Sheesh….my poor husband.

    Thanks for posting this and inspiring me to do better.

    CurlyYo

  • Prinie says:

    That's awesome! I have no comment, won't make any promises, but good job all the ladies who put in the effort to maintain their sexy!

  • Unknown says:

    Nikki u are so real! That's such a good point

  • Anonymous says:

    I can totally relate to this post. Yesterday, I took notice of the fact that had not styled my hair in weeks (ok, it has been months…but who's counting?)and I'm doing the bare minimum when it comes to other forms of "maintenance". The minimum includes plucking only the uncooperative eyebrow hairs and using lotion on an as needed basis. Because of your post, I'm planning to make an effort to bring sexy back (at least for this week).

  • prettyparticular says:

    @Southern Diva You are dead on with the yoga pants. My boyfriend calls them "booty pants" and anything that accentuates the assets is usually a'ight with the men folk.

    @CurlyNikki I love that you're so honest in your self reflections AND that you are willing to share when necessary! You rock!

  • Julia Coney says:

    I've been with my husband for four years and married for one. Here's my rules on maintaining the sexy. I only wear beautiful pajamas to bed. I did this when I was single too. I love beautiful lounge clothes and wait for Anthropologie to have a sale to stock up on them. They are comfortable and sexy. I don't wear t-shirts ever. At first my husband thought it would change. Four years later and it's all about sexy cozy lounge clothes. I will never wear flannel anything. Men are visual creatures, but doing this makes me feel like a woman. Even when he's out of town, I still make lounging a retreat. Baths with candles, moisturizing body butters, and always wearing perfume to bed.

    I learned this from my mom who still goes to bed wearing a boudoir gown and fragrance.

  • Niqui36 says:

    Ha haa!!!! I'm in! And you are too funny!

  • Southern Diva says:

    Two words: YOGA PANTS! Y'all cannot sleep on yoga pants with a v-neck, long sleeved t, or a short sleeved t, or a tank top. See where I'm going? Comfy, cute, and sexy, 'cause nothing shows off the tush like a good pair of yoga pants. Throw on a zip front matching jacket or chunky sweater and you can run errands and look fly at the same time. I've worn my yoga pants with low heeled boots, Danskos, flats, and running shoes. They work with everything, especially the boot cut.

    As for the hair, since I wear it out all the time, I do large chunky twists right before bed. The Man only has to deal with the bonnet just before lights out.

    I spend the winter feeling cute and being comfy. Anybody else rockin' yoga pants?

  • Barbara says:

    (LOL) I know about those ashy legs, spiky legs, I was just thinking about that last night..winter is bad because we go into hibernation mode..but it's really good advice Nikki..sometimes I forget that all the primping, and preparing is for my sweetie as well as myself!

  • MichelleMaBelle says:

    You are on it sista! I thought about the same thing recently when the hubs and I hit a rough patch. I wasn't doing nearly what I did to get him LOL. So I started bringing sexy back too…improving my eating habits and working out more, doing my hair and wearing "real" clothes even though I work from home. I realized I can't bait and switch brother after 12 years LOL. Who knows, one of these days I might be "all up in the kitchen in my heels, dinner time" πŸ˜‰

  • Alta Angel says:

    I'm with you Nik! I realized I hit rock bottom yesterday when I took off my jeans and my thighs were white/ashen while my skin was soft and supple from the knee down! I have got to do better.

  • Anonymous says:

    I am single and not looking, but today is my beauty day. It's wash day for my hair. I'll be taking a nice soak in the bath with my new pumpkin spice bar soap. I think I'm going to buy some cocoa butter baby oil gel to smooth on afterwards. If not, then shea butter it is.

  • Nettie says:

    I occurred to me recently that maybe my husband might like to see me without a. a hat on, b. a scarf on or c. Ms. Celie braids in my hair And lord knows that even I am sick of my hairy dry legs, lol

  • Nicole says:

    My husband has said the same to me. My hair may (and I stress may) come out on Sunday. So yesterday I took my braids out threw some leggings with long shirt and chilled before the LSU game. Needless to say hubby loved it. He was once again proud that I was his. Lol. After 14 years I know that I have gotten tooooooo comfortable.

  • Delishia says:

    Good for you Nikki! We all need the reminder… even to be sexy for ourselves from time to time πŸ™‚ Boog may be getting a sibling with all this sexy ypu're bringing back! πŸ˜‰

  • Auset Abena says:

    LOL. Cute post. And I love the throwback pic of you and your Hubby. I am unmarried and my last, and only, boyfried was back in 2005/2006 so I don't really know what to tell ya. But you seem to have it all figured out already. As for cute gear around the house, check out some of the lounge wear from Victoria's Secret. Or purchase some jeans and cute tops that you can wear for around the house and on errands. If you wanna keep protective styling it up, just rock buns more often and cute updo's. I think you just might be going throug the winter blues. For me, shaving my legs when no one is gonna see them is hard for me. But I always like the way lotion goes on just shaved legs. When their hairy, I feel like I'm just putting conditioner on my leg hair. lol.

  • GGmadeit says:

    Yes Nikki yes! You have to remain his chic! Love this post! Getting my toes cared for now

  • Anonymous says:

    I'm with you Nikki! My relationship is new and long distance, so the obligation to look good for him is still pretty automatic. I visit him on Wednesday and I just got a French mani, a pedi and a wax. I'm still trying to figure out what I will be doing with my hair, but it will definitely be done up next week. I can't wait .^.^.

  • ChiCurly1908 says:

    I'm with you. I will definitely purchase some cute lounge wear instead of my go-to Old Navy Christmas pants and free oversize tees. And I will free the hair more often instead of running for the bonnet as soon as I step foot in the house!!!! Great post!!

  • Meeka says:

    lol…soo true, it's so easy to start letting go after having a baby…i came to the realization that i was slippin as well so i went out and got some fresh leggings and some cute little t's to wear around the house…i throw on a cute pair of earrings and put my hair up in a cute high ponytail…so simple but hubby loves it…it's amazing how a few simple steps and some fresh clothes can make such a difference in your demeanor…plus I'm still comfortable enough to run around the house taking care of my little 2 year old munchkin πŸ™‚

  • Unknown says:

    I so need to join you on this. Right now the bush on top of my head is waiting for my weekly condition and my feet are pretty darn ashy lol. I brushed my teeth though lol…

  • Anonymous says:

    I totally agree. So many times we let comfort override sexy. And especially now that I am pregnant I let onw entire weekend go by without me removing my bonnet. I have decided I need to be a "hot mama" at least some of the time. Lol.

  • Doc says:

    *dead* at "really booboo"
    hahahahahaha
    i can't even take it

  • Doc says:

    This comment has been removed by the author.

  • Anonymous says:

    I'm in!! My boyfriend lives in Detroit. What I do last night, get onto Skype in my bonnet. Really Maya? I must do better. LOL!!

  • Michelle @Radiant Brown Beauty says:

    LOL too funny. I let my hair out way too often now. I need to reel it in now that it's getting cold up here in New York!

    As for cute in the house *————* Just ask my husband LOL

  • In Transition says:

    Thank you for this as I sit in my non matching, oversize sweats… Going to go pull out VS lounge wear and put a comb to my head… We all need these reminders

  • CURLYNIKKI says:

    we need some sexy house gear.

    I was wearing leggings and tanks… which is nice, but now my black leggings are stretched out, one has a hole in it and the others, since they're black always seem to collect dog hair. Damn.

    What cute stuff are y'all wearing around the house?

  • The Melanista says:

    I know that's right, Nikki! We get so comfortable with our SO/DH that we tend to forget what snatched us up in the first place! I'm gonna do the same and stay more on point. Cute article!

  • Patience says:

    OMG, came to the same conclusion yesterday when hubby came home from work and i was donned in my thick winter socks, loose sweat pants, tshirt with paint stains (from 5 or so years ago), hair in my night bonnet and fluffy gown. no wonder he asked if i had had a shower, i did, but put these things on after. So, i resolved to switch it up and try to be sexier for my boo.

  • Jennifer says:

    Get your sexy back!

  • Anonymous says:

    Love you Nikki! Look at you in that throwback picture!

  • Anonymous says:

    I needed this. I see myself in your post.

  • faith is real says:

    I Love It Nikki! I call it my Winter blues I am a sexy beast during the warmer months! Winter i go into hibernation! Bringing sexy back while Preserving the sexy! POW!

  • Anonymous says:

    Get it ma!!!

  • francine says:

    good for you nikki!! i've come to a similar realization with my boyfriend lately! it's nice to know nothing's new under the sun πŸ™‚ good luck with everything!!

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