Things That Suck and Rock About Natural Hair

Ok, before y’all attempt to tie me up with silk scarves, draw your afro picks and scalp me, hear me out! Natural hair is fly. In all it’s fluffy, tightly coiled, irreverently wild, attention grabbing glory, my hair is one of my favorite physical features! However, there are some days, when my hair just chaps my a@# in the worst way. I have never had a perm, so being naturally kinky/curly is all I know. It’s only natural to have moments of frustration and pride with this head of hair of mine, and lemme tell ya, I’ve had many a moment. Below are 10 things about my hair that make me happy and would drive me to drink. lol!

Sucky Thing #1: Ya know, I love my hair, but I really hate washing it. REALLY. Call it lazy, call it nasty, call it whatever you like, but I dread what’s known in my home as “Sucky Saturdays”. I get up before Mr.Rooster puts on his drawls, and get to shampooing, rinsing, conditioning, combing out, rinsing, deep treating for 30 minutes to an hour, rinsing, and plaiting my very thick/past shoulder length hair. Friday and Saturday are my favorite days of the week, but BOY do I hate wasting an entire Saturday on my hair. Wash and Go? Forget about it! Lol!

Sucky Thing #2: MY HAIR BREAKS ISH! Seriously, I go through at least 10 hair ties a month. I purchase the Goody’s ouchless hair ties for thick hair, but somehow still manage to pop them when I try to tie up my hair. My hair is so thick, I really need to get a good grip on my hair and the tie or I’ll have “fat head”. You know, that sloppy, poofy look your pony tail gets when it’s not tied tight enough? Yea, #not sexy.

Sucky Thing #3: One poor choice of a hair product or hair care habit can cause you a major setback. When I first decided that I was going to take better care of my hair, a lot of blogs and forums were bashing petroleum use in your hair. “DOWN WITH GREASE!” I screamed and pitched all of my DooGro stash. I started greasing my hair with tea tree oil and found that my scalp slowly started to resemble a bowl of cereal as the days and weeks went by . The size of my dandruff flakes were apocalyptic y’all! My hair was also extremely dry, coarse and impossible to comb through! After a month sans petroleum, I had to crawl back to Wal-Mart, purchase a honking bottle of Doo-Gro and got to greasing! My hair has been happy ever since!

Sucky Thing #4: In my head, when I think sexy time with my hubby, I don’t envision wearing my head scarf and satin bonnet. LOL! Sometimes I feel like I need to sacrifice my scarf and bonnet to look “sexy time appropriate”. I know it’s all in my head, because hubby reminds me every night to wrap it up (my hair, you freaks…lol), but I want to give him the “Chaka Khan Whip Appeal” sometimes, ya know?

Sucky Thing #5: I lose stuff in my hair all the time. *Blushing* Let me explain. I like to use my hair as an extra storage area. It’s so convenient to stick pens, pencils, and knitting needles in my hair. However, there are times when I forget to remove these objects and have them retrieved by hubby at the end of the day. Worse still is having my kids at work rifling through my hair for pens and pencils to do their homework…lol!

My Hair Rocks, Reason #1: Versatility, hand’s down. The best thing about being natural is the versatility of my hair. I can wear it big and twisted out, or I can wear it straight. I can pull it up in an afro puff or twist it into a french roll with a fancy scarf! Depending on what products I use, I can pull off a short bob or a long braid out. The possibilities are endless and I can never get bored with my hair.

My Hair Rocks, Reason #2: My hair seems to be impervious to wind. It’s so thick that even the strongest gusts of wind hit my hair like a hurricane against a brick wall. It awesome because my hair is always picture perfect when pulled back into an afro puff, but has that diva ,Diana Ross affect when I wear it out. The harder the wind blows, the bigger and more fabulous my hair gets!

My Hair Rocks, Reason #3: I stand “tall” at 5 ft nothing, so I am willing to take any help I can get! When I wear bigger styles like twist outs, twist and curls and braid outs, it seems to give me a few extra inches in height. Better still is that when I add a pair of fabulous stilettos, I go instantly go from “short” to “fun size”! YES!

My Hair Rock, Reason #4: Low maintenance. Other than the nightmarish washing/henna episodes that I have to do monthly, my hair is very low maintenance. If I run a comb through it once this week, it won’t happen again until next week. Finger combing has become my best friend . If I really, REALLY, REALLY wanna leave my hair be, I can throw in some teeny weeny twists and go for at least 3 weeks without combing it!

My Hair Rocks, Reason #5: *smug smile* I hate to admit it, but one of the best things about having big, bad (as in awesome), hair is that dudes dig it. I’m married now, so the only man hands in my hair is my hubby’s, but I remember being single and just pulling down compliments and stares of admiration left and right when I wore my hair out! Guys would stop me at the mall and ask me if it was all mine, or tell me that my hair was beautiful constantly. I even caught a guy at the club sitting with his straight haired/ weaved up girlfriend, staring in awe and admiration at all the hair I was working with. He later found me and told me that he wished his lady would wear her hair “out” like mine. Then there was that time at the frat party that the dudes were flocking because I took my hair down on a dare…..Yup, ignore what some men say, majority of them dig our natural curls. Flash it, flip it, werk it honey!

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