When I was 5, I wanted an Easy Bake oven in the worst way. I didn’t get one though. As you can imagine, I was a bit bummed. When I was 6, I wanted a Baby Alive. Not necessarily because I liked dolls, but mostly because I was curious to see how it “went” in the diaper after you fed it. I didn’t get one of those either though. Instead, I got a knock off version that had creepy eyes that open and shut! Christmas when I turned 16 (in Jamaica) was the worst of all. I was dreaming of a car with a big red bow. Instead, I ended up with a DONKEY. Everyone was amused except for me. Lol! Sigh. Needless to say, when it comes to gifts, I have the worst luck getting gifts I hope for, and this year, I suspect it will be no different. A girl can dream though, right? Below is my wish list for this Christmas season. Some things on the list are attainable. Other things on the list will make you either roll your eyes or roll on the floor laughing at me. At any rate, I hope you gorgeous dolls have a very Merry Christmas or Happy Hanukkah!

A new pair of Christian Louboutins. Ok, so yes, I realize the Louboutins are expensive and are slightly unpractical, but hell, so am I. Oh, what I would give to open a shoe box on Christmas morning and find some gorgeous, strassed, mile high red bottoms J.

A Fabulous Walk-In Closet. Before I moved from Florida to Illinois, my husband built me the most awesome closet EVER. If I told you I wasn’t plotting on how to pack up that part of the house and move it with us, I’d be lying. Hubby has since convinced me that he will build me another closet, bigger and better than the first. But for the time being, I miss my old closet and wish it could visit for Christmas.

$500…To Tip A Waiter. I’ve always dreamt of leaving an obscenely large tip for a deserving waitress or waiter at a Denny’s or IHOP. What better time than on Christmas day?

Reggie Bush, Dwayne Johnson, and My Hubby all cooking me Christmas breakfast shirtless. Ok, go with me on this one. What’s better than a man in the kitchen? A BUFF man in the kitchen. And what’s better than 1 buff man cooking you breakfast? THREE buff men cooking you breakfast! Lawd Hamercy…We’d have to keep the open flames to a minimal though, last thing we’d want is someone to singe a nipple while atempting to stir fry…lol!

Con-Air Spin Brush. I swear, they always make everything look more fun and easy on TV than it really is. I can bet that I won’t have the same luck using a fancy contraption like the Conair Spin Air Brush as the curly girl on the TV commercials do, but it would be fun trying!

Sex and The City Deluxe DVD Collection. I love Carrie Bradshaw and her fabulously amusing crew. I’ve been wanting to own the DVD collection for years now!

Dancing Classes taught by Beyonce. I am not sure what impresses me more about Beyonce, the way she moves, or the way she moves in those sky high heels with minimal wipeouts. Whatever it is, I want to learn the trick of the trade on how to drop it low, bring it up real graceful like, and glamorously glisten instead of sweat…lol!

A Bag Full of Quarters. It’s not what it sounds like. Lol! Not for assault and battery, but to help keep people happy during the holidays. I have this odd fixation with keeping people’s parking meters running. Especially when there’s parking meter enforcement folks slapping tickets on peoples’ windshield. I always have extra coins in my purse so I can shuffle ahead of the meter maid and insert money into meters with purpose, defiantly looking over my shoulder to see if she’s looking. That ought to show her. Lol Eventually, I run out of coinage and someone gets shafted. I would love to have a bottomless bag of jingles so I could keep all of the parking meters in the city running.

A Family Reunion. Most of my family is in Jamaica and the rest is in Florida. Moving to Illinois has made this Christmas a little less family filled. I’m happy to spend Christmas with Jeff, the dogs, and the bird, but I would have loved to have all of my kin folk in one place this year.

A Shopping Spree in New York City with Stacy and Clinton from What Not to Wear. Obviously, I don’t NEED fashion tips on how to look presentable for board meetings, dates nights, and formal functions, but I have always felt a twinge of jealousy when I watch Stacy and Clinton hand over these 5,000 dollar gift cards to frumpy people who are reluctant in the first place to even go shopping! Are they mad?!?!? Give me the gift card and let me lose in New York City, honey!

A Huge gingerbread house. Not just for me, but to share with some kids at an orphanage or shelter. I used to dream of tearing into a huge gingerbread house like Hansel and Gretel when I was a kid. I would love to recreate that for a bunch of less privileged kids one Christmas…minus the kiddie eating witch though.

What about you?!