by Sherrell Dorsey of OrganicBeautyVixen
Playing dress up was my favorite game growing up. When playing had to cease I resented my mom for not allowing me to wear my Beauty and the Beast costume complete with plastic high heels and shimmery crayon-like lipstick out in public. I craved elegance, satin gloves and long curly hair. At 7 years of age my mom was standing in the way of what I believed I was called to be: a princess.
In the real world that my mom would have to bring me back to my inner princess had to be suppressed and the Mary Jane shoes frilly sock and jumpers, the awful bangs that always stood straight up on my head after a fight with my sponge rollers, and a white collard shirt were my destiny.
My mom didn’t care much for glamour as much as she cared about creating a classic look. I would watch diligently as she spread Vitamin E on her skin, filled in her eyebrows and completed her look with a gorgeous plum shade of lipstick (which I eventually would kidnap and cherish at school unbeknownst to her).
My mom taught me how to be beautiful by being me and walking with my head held high. She spent just enough time on her look to present herself well but not too much to discount what she always told me a woman was: honest, confident, intelligent, loving and in charge of her life and decisions. That to me is the beauty I carry with me each day.
For those of you nurturing the little ladies in your life whether as a mother, sister, cousin or mentor how are you feeding her subconscious ideas of beauty?
Beauty is a conversation, a lifestyle, a relationship first and then it is about how we present ourselves. Let’s pass this same philosophy down to our daughters who will watch us get dressed, listen to our advice and mimic our footsteps.
What rituals and ideals are you passing on to your daughter?
Sherrell Dorsey is a natural beauty expert, writer, speaker and advocate of health, wellness and sustainability in communities of color. In addition to creating OrganicBeautyVixen.com, Sherrell writes beauty articles for Tyra Banks’s beauty and fashion site TypeF.com, Jones Magazine, MySalonScoop.com and Posh Beauty. Follow Sherrell on twitter at www.twitter.com/organicvixen and connect with her on facebook at http://www.facebook.com/
Awwwww I love this article! it really hit home with me expecting my little girl this October. I want her to see beauty from the inside out and know that she is beautiful no matter what 🙂
I tell my daughter that she is beautiful and special just as God made her to be. She is 7 and at a stage in life where she wants to fit in and look like everyone else. I tell her to embrace her curls! I show her examples (thank God we have them now) of all the kids on TV who are natural and how cute they look. When I greet her I say "hello beautiful" or "how is mommy's beautiful". I also explain that its not simply about the beauty on the outside but more importantly about the beauty within. When you are beautiful inside, it radiates outward and who doesnt want to be a part of something beautiful. She loves it!!
We bond over special rituals like doing our own pedicures and manicures, making up funny dances and nurturing her talents. I always tell her to focus on the good in every situation.
For example, she fractured her wrist and was unable to compete for gymnastics this year and it resulted in her inability to move up to the next level. She cried herself to sleep. The next day she said she was over it and would focus on the bright side and be a leader for the new group of kids and think of all the new people she would get to meet. I love her spirit!
I use to love sneaking peeks at my mom, as she got dressed for work or church. She hated it, so she would always shoo me off. She didnt want me to get into make up until I was old enough.
And i got my chance when I because a teenager. In my Jr. and Sr. year of highschool, I better not walk out the house with out some eye shadow and clear lip gloss. She always wanted me to look my best, with out overdoing it.
I'm 23 and I'm just now curious about foundation and tinted moisturizer. I want my daughter to have the same POV I did. She just needs to cleanse, exfoliate, and moisturize and keep lip balm on her at all times. Until she is old enough.
My daughter is now 19 and you can't tell her she isn't beautiful, inside and out, "face" (make up) on or off. lol
I've always told her confidence and happiness equals radiance. So whatever you have to do that isn't harmful to your health to get those, do it! Immaculate hygeine, skin and hair care practices I've also taught her because lets face ALL of us are happier with ourselves when we look our best. Knowing how to accomplish this for oneself is a cornerstone in self esteem. Most girls have periods of self -consciousness but it is the messages they are repeatedly fed, see and come to believe that determine if that period becomes permanent.
We have to teach our daughters to value ALL of their attributes, physical and mental, and make the best of all they have.
You two are so cute. What a sweet and happy baby.
OK seriously, you and Gia are like twins. Beautiful.
I agree that beauty starts with the relationship. Our daughters will not learn it from outside. The world is too busy pointing out your flaws for that.
As moms, it's our responsibility to instill within our girls that they are beautiful regardless of the shape of their ears (yeah, that's my daughter's "issue") or the thinness of their waists.
Well, let's see. I view anytime my daughter and use to do beauty related stuff as bonding time. My daughter is my biggest fan when it comes to beauty. She will quietly watch me apply my makeup with a fascination that you have to see to believe, I think it's so cute. Anytime I'm doing her hair she wants to know everything…one day she said:" Mami when I grow up I want to just as beautiful as you." Made my heart melt. Also painting nails is a big deal to her. So every Sunday I paint her nails whatever color she wants. Sunday is also hair day in my household, she even helps me put the steamer together. I love having a daughter because there are so many girlie things we get to do together.