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Curly Nikki

Transitioning Buddy

By January 27th, 202113 Comments
Transitioning Buddyby Bennii Blast of The Culture Pine
Over the last few months I have noticed that while I have been transitioning, someone else has been transitioning with me. When my S.O and I are out somewhere, he’ll point out anyone that appears to have natural hair and make sure I have seen their luscious kinks and curls. There are also times when he points out a really bad weave and does not even attempt to hide how he feels about it.
Effectively, he is trying to remind me of my goal and the past I do not wish to revisit, of which I am grateful for. He asks many questions regarding my hair and the benefits of natural products, such as coconut oil, and genuinely seems interested in learning the ins and outs of natural hair. There was also a point where he suggested growing his hair with me and big chopping at the same time, but after I decided I wanted to wait it out a little while longer, he plans to cut sooner. The point is – he’s trying.
It has benefited me greatly having someone to unleash my hair rants to, or bore with information about how great a product is and not judge me in any way for it. As great as all the blogs and YouTube channels are, it is always a bonus to have someone who knows you personally jumping through the hoops with you, whether it is a relative or a close friend.
Do you have a transitioning buddy?


  • Syd says:

    After high school (03) I decided I didn't want to use chemicals anymore so I just stopped relaxing and continued to blow dry and flat iron my 4a hair. I didn't have a transition buddy and to tell the truth I don't really remember much struggle during that period. I can wield a flat iron with the best of them so I had no problem wearing it straight. Everything changed Feb 2011 when I decided I wanted my hair to grow past the length at which it would always tend to get to and stop (Mid lower back- not quite bra strap). That is when I started wearing it in its natural state. I tried twist outs, braid outs, wash and go's you name it. My mom and sister were very supportive as I spent 2hours a night sometimes trying everything under the sun. I think I had 2 total "good hair" days that year, the rest was a serious work in progress. I did have a transition buddy which helped on those terrible hair days (the ones where you still have to leave your house). My friends teenage daughter started wearing her hair natural a bit before I did so we would share our struggles. We're still transition buddies and both have found that curl formers are a life saver.

  • Samantha says:

    I don't have a transitioning buddy. My mum isn't really supportive (she'd rather I keep on relaxing my hair), my dad, always threatens to cut my hair (and trust me, he once cut off my ponytail with a scissors and it wasn't like I was going to get a haircut or a trim or anything. I had to even everything out eventually and I had like really really short hair (like it was hard to hold it)).
    There's a friend of mine who's considering transitioning because she's notice (and I noticed it to and pointed it out to her) that relaxers and harsh products are damaging her hair. Her hair's thinning out, falling out etc and she like totally freaks out at the idea of going bald so, she sits with me some times, get some natural hair info and she said she's seriously considering going natural, like I did. But we're not going to be at the same point of transition when she eventually starts. Anyways…

  • Anonymous says:


  • Derin A. says:

    This is a bit of a side question but the picture above, does anyone know the link to their blogs? I remember coming across it a year ago or so but i cant think of the name now

  • AlWell says:

    I didn't have a steady buddy but I think it is nice that the S/O is encouraging in this story. I always wanted a fro but I was afraid to do it b/c of my profession at first. The guy I was seeing at the time told me "be bold and fro your hair." I didn't have a stable cheerleader along the way but I noticed there were always random people a niece, random strangers or co-workers encouraging me.

  • Anonymous says:

    I went through my short transition and big chop on my own. I didn't/don't know anyone who is currently transitioning.

  • Anonymous says:

    Yes. Three years ago a friend and I went natural. Now three years later she is getting loc and I will be going relaxed again.

  • ExpatCentral says:

    My husband, definitely. I'm struggling with my transition, and at least twice a week I'm thinking about that creamy crack. But he is a huge fan of natural hair, and has been my cheerleader ever since I decided to start. Once I move(we're in different countries right now), he even wants to learn how to braid/twist my hair so he can help! Every day his enthusiasm keeps me at it.

  • e bone says:

    I wish i had one when I was transitioning, but this website and other and youtube was like my transitioning buddies

  • Anonymous says:

    That is my hubby all the way! He is constantly encouraging me to continue on this natural hair path he actually did my big chop and watches countless youtube videos with me in search for my/our next style.

  • Anonymous says:

    My sister was my transitioning buddy but she jumped the gun and big chop around the 7 month mark. My cousin was also transitioning and has recently decided to quit and go back to the relaxer. So now it's just me. I'm coming up on my 10th month and I plan to transition for 18 months.

  • Jamila says:

    A friend of mine at school was my buddy. We did all the research and decided to go natural together. It was nice to have someone going through the same things I was at the time.

    After 5 months I cut off my relaxed ends and rocked a TWA and she rocked braids for another 6 months before she wore her hair out :)

  • Anonymous says:

    Yes, my gorgeous sister was my buddy. She started transitioning several years ago, wearing a low bun and chopping off her relaxed ends. When her 4a coils were 8 inches, she chopped off the remaining friable relaxed ends and started using KCCC and KCKT.

    I also have to give a shoutout to Nadine! She was sporting a TWA forever and always looked so pretty and pulled together. I also give a woot-woot to Portia, who rocked locs, cut them and now has lovely natural twistouts.

    These strong positive women renew my conviction that my hair looks good in the way God gave it to me.

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