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Curly Nikki

Hair Self Esteem

By January 27th, 202114 Comments
by Tammy Goodson of CurlyChics


Even the flyest of the fly have those days where they don’t feel so pretty or the mane is not quite up to par. Maybe the kinks aren’t quite kinky enough and those coils aren’t so coily in your eyes. These feelings of temporary inadequacies are completely normal and will inevitably surface from time to time but that doesn’t always make them any easier to deal with. Watching You Tube videos of your favorite natural hair vloggers and reruns of Girlfriends (Joan “naturalhairidol” Clayton) can make your curl confidence go “womp womp” just like that *snaps fingers*.

Negative thinking can rule your world if you let it. What I’ve found is that repetition and practice of all things positive make a huge difference. Sometimes the phrase “fake it til’ you make it” is exactly what you need to boost your hair confidence. If you practice positivity it will eventually come to fruition. Good moods and thoughts are infectious and affect your inner beauty which is what is really important anyway, despite the physicalities we idolize. Perception becomes your reality and once you start to believe great things and live by those thoughts, you will feel better about you and your fro.

You can start with something as simple as the following:

List 4 things you like about your hair. I’ll go first:

1. Curl pattern

2. Versatility

3. Adaptable – it adapts to whatever change I put it through.

4. Color – of course it’s not my natural color but it enhances my tresses and I love it

Keep these few things in mind when it comes to elevating your hair confidence:

• Don’t put so much weight on other’s opinions of your tresses

• Remember that what curls are meant for you are meant for you and no one else

• Take hair risks – don’t place limitations on your mane

• Stop sabotaging yourself and remember you are your own worst critic

Sometimes we don’t realize something good until we are forced to reexamine things and take note of its value. This sense of self awareness will enable you to “work it” so to speak. You will begin to live up to the expectations that you now have of yourself. Your inner beauty will exude and you will carry yourself as such, thus ultimately manifesting itself on the outside.

What do you do when you have the hair blues and need a confidence boost?

“How can I control my life when I can’t control my hair? ~Author Unknown

Sharing hairstories and life experiences from a curl’s perspective. Find Tammy at her blog, Curlychics, on Twitter, and Facebook.

14 Comments

  • JayEmDubbleyou says:

    i have the same issue with my daughter's hair (which actually prompted me to go natural). She has all these scalp issues and hair loss, so I decided whatever it causing her scalp problems we would go through it together. I eliminated all of the relaxer products and I've only been using natural products in her hair. It's improving, but we still have a long way to go!

  • JayEmDubbleyou says:

    i get frustrated with my natural hair sometimes, and i feel even worse when my husband starts to talk about my "old hair" and how "good I used to look" with it. UGH. I always tell him that's the old me and I want to grow and find my new identity, and being natural is just as much of a process as relaxing my hair. (but what does he know, he's bald!) I think it's hard for transitioners to go from relaxed to BC and natural. I see and feel the real texture of my hair now and it's amazing! I'm so glad I'm doing this, but I won't lie and say I don't feel bad because my husband doesn't find "the natural look" as appealing as "relaxed" hair.

  • Resee19 says:

    Pull it back in an Afro Puff!!!!

  • Anonymous says:

    I meant to say "hair" not "hear".

  • Anonymous says:

    My 4c coils are 4-5 inches long.

    AM Hair blues: Goody headband and cinnabun pin-up.

    PM Hair blues: Deep treatment while watching hair vids.

    ps: I'm DTing as I type!

  • Ana says:

    Oh my gosh! i can not say how many times I have thought “How can I control my life when I can't control my hair?!!" and for me it was a health issue causing me hair problems. sigh its been hard but it is possible to have good day while having a bad hair day.

  • Melissa says:

    When I am having a bad hair day, I wear a ponytail.

  • Unknown says:

    when I'm having the hair blues I just go henna, I anticipate the great color I'm gonna get, and the rich benefits that makes my hair glossy, shiny, and my twist out comes out fantastic.

  • Anonymous says:

    I tie my hear in a scarf like one of my Muslim friends. I get greetings from Muslims when I wear it, so I just respond accordingly.

  • Netta Dee says:

    I just makeup for the bad hair day with a fly outfit, accessories, and lite makeup. However, I think we all go through those days when we are not feeling ourselves, and those are the days when someone might say oh your hair is so pretty.

  • Miche'al says:

    When I get the hair blues I look at my hair idols to get ideas from or help with an hair issue. There are so many resources and ideas available now a days that I am usually able to take care of any hair problems or questions I may have.

  • Erica S says:

    Most of my hair blues days come from when I have work and can't think of a cute enough style in time so I just do a boring bun. I work in a restaurant so we have to have our hair pulled back and off our shoulders. The main thing that gets me out of it is when I try new styles and I actually embrace my hair's versatility.

  • Anonymous says:

    if i'm having a bad hair day or just not feeling my self that day and don't feel like really having a self therapy session, I just cover my hair up. There are some days when I'm just not mentally strong enough to even psych myself up and I just let myself be safe for my sake. It's the same thing I did with my relaxed hair and even when I sported braids and that I do with other things sometimes…there are other days where I walk out the door feeling alright even though it's just one of those hair days and it's because I don't really care what people think and just feel like doing my own thing. It is what it is.

  • Anonymous says:

    Yes I hear ya. My new goal for 2012 is to only visit the majority of videos on YT and websites which highlight my unique hair and desired styling options. I'm not going to watch a video because of the person but because I resonate with their styling options.

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