by Alex of The Good Hair Blog
Name: Nafis
Age: 26
Location: Philadelphia
How important is a woman’s hair to you? Especially if you are dating her, does she have to wear her hair a certain way to keep grab your interest? (i.e. which styles down vs. ponytail vs. bun, hair length? To me, hair is just hair; however, I do feel that no matter what hairstyle a woman wears it should always be well kept and neat. As I get older, I do see myself paying more attention to a woman’s hair now more so than ever before. At this stage in my life, I feel like everything comes into play when dating a woman including their hair. By me being a very active and adventurous person (i.e running, working out, water fun etc.), I need a woman who is ready and down for adventure just as much as I am without the restrictions of a hair issue.
Do you think that there is a ‘Natural Hair Movement’ or trend going on these days? Why do you think so many women are choosing to go natural now, do you think it’s a fad? Right now it does seem like the natural hair thing is big. Honestly, I really don’t know why that is. There are a ton of natural hair blogs and videos out there now so I think that may add to it but also I think lot of times people just get bored and might want to try something different. I was told by a good friend of mine that, “only the strong survive. Having natural hair is a lot of work.” So with that said, I think that will separate the true natural women from the fad followers
Would you support your partner or family members (i.e. mother, sister, daughter) if she decided to become natural? Of course! I LOVE women with natural hair. It says a lot about their character I think. To be honest, I think I’m more attracted to those with natural hair than those without it. Don’t get me wrong I appreciate and have love for all black women but it’s just something about a natural woman that I’m drawn to. Natural women have always stood out to me. They represent a part of our culture that has been stripped away from us. I feel we’ve been conditioned to believe what is considered to be beautiful, normal, or good-looking when it comes to women especially black women and their hair. Natural women have my utmost respect because it takes courage and confidence to do what they’re doing and to me that speaks volumes. I’ve been telling my mother for years to get locs. I think she’d look awesome with them but she won’t do it lol
How important is hair texture to you? If your significant other were to go natural, would the texture of her hair affect your opinions on whether she should remain natural or not? Texture isn’t really important to me. Fine, medium, coarse, curly it doesn’t really matter. Besides, I can’t be too picky about a woman’s texture when mine is like a Brillo pad lol
What is your definition of “Good Hair” and how do you feel about the word “Nappy?” Growing up, “good hair” to me always meant wavy, soft, straight or long hair. I think we as a people are forced to believe that. Now that I’m older I think that “good hair” is whatever kind of hair makes you feel good. Whether it be natural or weave, relaxed or loc’d, long or short. If it makes you feel good, rock out!
Would you rather your partner wear her hair natural or in a weave? Why or why not? As I mentioned before, I’m a very active person and I would like my partner to be also to a certain extent without her hair holding her back. But above all else, I want her to be happy so if that means wearing a weave then that’s something I would have to deal with. However if I had to choose, it would be natural.
If you are involved with a woman do you think she should consult with you when it comes to making changes to her hair? Not really but I think that depends on the change. If she wants to go completely shaved after having a head full of hair, I think some type of heads up would be nice lol But after awhile, I think you kind of know how far your woman will go with her hair.
Why does it seem like some men are “hung up” on hair length? Does it matter to you? Again, I think this is something that has been forced on us through the media and everything else we as a people are so consumed with. The long hair fetish goes back decades along with this whole “light-skinned” non sense. For YEARS, they’ve been the only symbols of beauty for black people in this country. It’s been regurgitated and passed down from generation to generation. There was a time when a black person wouldn’t get a chance in Hollywood if they were darker than a brown paper bag. I think this way of thinking has stuck with us. Her length is not important to me.
Would you be supportive in your partner’s journey to go natural?
Without a doubt.
What makes black women and their hair unique and beautiful to you? Everything about a black woman makes them unique and beautiful. Their lips, hips, ass (Can I say ass on here? Lol), sassiness, even their hair. They all represent beauty. This might sound crazy but to me natural women have a sense of “realness” about them that makes them unique. Immediately, you get the sense that they are down to earth, cool, and open minded. That right there alone is a beautiful thing. There is nothing more beautiful and sexy than a confident, educated, curvy, down to earth, open-minded natural black woman.
Who is your favorite “curly girl?” (i.e. celebrity, actress, friend, ect.) Erykah Badu, Amel Larrieux, and Alexandra Smith all three of these women are dope and amazingly gorgeous.
I am Lawrence…
In my opinion; these are questions women need to ask themselves. It should not matter to you what our answers are.
in public yall would all curve this man so stop fronting
There is absolutely nothing like a "real brother". Thanks for the article brother.
Who is alexandria smith?
Philly Stand Up
haha aww he's so intelligent and handsome. Too bad I'm exactly half his age and live about 300 miles away lmbo. On another note. Great article!! It's nice to know all men aren't susceptible to the media's stupid portrayal of only light skinned (red boned) women as being the definition of a beautiful black woman.
lmao @ Joie's comment 🙂
Will you marry me? lol I just love how open and honest he is. Great to see a male's perspective and support.
I love how everyone commented anonymous and asked if he's single and asked about his location.
Great post though. Very inspiring
Where specifically can we find THIS man lol? But I'm serious…
And please respond, is he single!?
Preach!
Is he single?? Lol. no but really. Loved this! Im 25 from Cali and natural and its very refreshing to hear a 20 something black man speak so honest and be so appreciative of natural hair! It is very hard to find that nowadays especially in Los Angeles.
-Fallon
I like the fact that he mentioned that he is an active, adventuresome person who wouldn't want hair issues to get in the way of being able to explore certain activities with his partner. I totally get this. I only hope that he approaches this issue in a supportive manner.
I can't tell you how many black men have asked me (and my friends), usually in a snide tone, whether our hair will get in the way of certain activities OR just assumed that it would and looked the other way. Funny, since none of us wear wigs/ weaves/ extensions or have perms. Many of us are fully natural and choose to wear our hair in an unstraightened state.
These same men then get upset to find out that their narrowmindedness caused them to miss out on women who are certified scuba divers, love all watersports and participate in ALL types of cardio, all the time. And hair (as well as body) still looks fly. Someone else often appreciates who you may make assumptions about out of ignorance or an excuse to seek the 'Caucasian beauty standard' (naturally straight, long hair).
I think we all need to be sure that we are not making assumptions and definitely not offend others with questions that are only pertinent to what is circulating in our own heads.
Where are all the men like you? They sure don't seem to be around my neck of the woods.
brillo pad – priceless. i'm at work and bent over on my side and then over my keyboard laughing silently. i know the feeling! Thank you!
This guy sounded a lot like my boyfriend and a lot of the guys I have dated. I think they all really like natural hair but a lot of times it's just not a lot to choose from so it seems that they don't. Overall men just want you to have hair, don't be bald, edge less and have scraggly ends. lol
I am really happy about this entry, definitely need more like this. I honestly think many many (I will jump out and say a majority) feel this way as well. They are not particular and just don’t want their lady’s hair to hold them back from doing whatever. Even though they might have been groomed or raised to think that long/straight/wavy hair is pretty that doesn’t mean that they don’t think that shorter, so kinkier, coily, curly, etc hair is not pretty or that they will reject a person based on that.
Well damn. Loved this!
Who is he, where did he come from and do they have more?! lol I wish a lot more men had opinions like these. Maybe then more women wouldn't feel presured to look a certain way in order to attract a man.