by Bennii Blast of the Culture Pine
Imagine if you woke up tomorrow, with a head full of beautiful curls within the 24 hour period of making the decision to go natural. No transitioning. No big chop. Just an overnight miracle! Wouldn’t that be the bee’s knees?
I have found myself drifting off into this very fantasy on many occasions while transitioning, and have been abruptly bought back down to earth again. At the same time, I have days when I think to myself ‘what is all the fuss about?’ and ‘what is the big deal about going natural anyway…it’s not even hard’. The latter usually occurs when I’m in high spirits about my hair and feeling care-free.
Well today I’m not in high spirits. I want the miracle growth formula to land on my doorstep right now!
Transitioning can be bloomin’ frustrating – the one thing that I didn’t prepare myself for. I’m not saying that I expected this to be a walk in the park, but I’m also a person who likes to see instant results damn it! Going natural is a waiting game, and what can I say – I’m impatient.
The decision to transition instead of big chop came down to the small matter of balls and the fact that I have none. I would big chop tomorrow if I sucked it up and grew a pair! Perhaps it would make this waiting game slightly less frustrating….see my catch 22 of a predicament?
Urggghhh!!
No but really, the reason why I wanted to share this is that I get bored of hearing fairy-tales. Surely things are not perfect EVERY day? Sometimes it’s good to know you’re not weird for having the occasional rough patch. Or…maybe I am alone and just outed myself as the weirdo?!
Let it all out……
I thought I was the only one! I've been transitioning for about 18 months and it's been difficult. I've tried a range of products and now I've run out cabinet space in my bathroom. I've broken hair brushes, combs, hooded blow dryers and hair accessories galore in an effort to tame or style my "WOOLY MAMMOUTH". I would love to BC because I LOVE LOVE LOVE short hair, but now it's become a challenge for me on how long I can transition (hold-out). I can't wait to unveil my sexy curly fro!
I concur, my fellow Curlies!! Although I'm transitioning and not there yet, I am speaking those things that are not as though they already were 😉 I went natural in 1991 and did BC'd, but I think it takes a lot more courage to do a long transition because of those "baaaaaaad" hair days. This weekend I experienced a couple after my rod set got old, and let me tell you….it was UGLY!!!
You are certainly not alone! I do not have the courage to do a big chop however, my friend who lives across the hall did. -__- I am on my 6th month of transitioning but sometimes I feel as if my hair is not moving (as far as growth is concerned)and I have literally ran out of styles especially since my hair is not really that long to begin with. My playing field is smaller. 🙁 And my mom and grandmother keep putting the temptation of a relaxer on me because they dont understand this "phase" so just hang in there ma'am! If I can do it, so can you! You are not at all alone! 🙂
I have currently made 7 months into my transitioning stage. I have to laugh at the comments because its so many things that I do and after reading have found im not the only one. I decided to transition until April of this year and then I will do my BC, but I laughed to myself @RazzyYazzy because I too have a natural section in the back that keeps me pushing forward LOL. I love coming to these forums it gives me tons of motivation. I just hope I have the balls to follow through in April!! Overall it can be a challenge with these two textures but I know in the end its going to be worth it!!
I understand you 100%. I've been transitioning for 3 1/2 months now and it's a struggle. (especially since i had a perm since i was 2!) I just want to wake up the next day and have a head full of healthy, curly, long hair. I'm not use to maintaining two types of hair. I know in the end it will be worth it but i just want to get it over with! Im trying to be patient and I'm considering the Big Chop (I'm not afraid of it) i just don't know what i would do with it when its gone. I'm doing my best to stay strong.
Honestly, transitioning is the worst! I did for two months and almost lost my mind. My hair looked like a cross between a curl that needed touching up and hair that needed to be permed. I always kept my "do" tight and to have to go through that was too stressful. I too that year was leaving my son for his first year of college. I again thought I was going to lose my mind going through that process. After dropping him off on a thursday and discovering I did wake up that friday morning, in tact, sound minded (a lot heartbroken I must add) I immediately called my hair stylist and big chopped that very day. I'm now 8 months perm free and have to agree with the others, it's more than a hair journey. It's beyond liberating. It's really hard to describe, but I find it continues to take my breath away.
transitioning isn't that hard especially if you're not ready to say goodbye to the length of hair that you spent so long gaining.To me it's like slowly saying goodbye to the relaxed hair while gradually welcoming the natural hair and learning new ways of taking care of it while comparing both textures.I'm six months post relaxer and loving my natural hair.Sometimes i get impatient too but the transition phase is worth it
Like Anon 6:47 said: It does get better! I am 2 years natural (last relaxer 01/02/10, big chopped 01/02/12) and my transition was TOUGH at first. I, too, am very impatient. It is good doing your research and knowing what you're getting yourself into, but looking at all of these wonderful hairstyles and beautiful heads full of curls was hard on me. Then I got distracted by school and other stuff, and the rest of my year flew bye! Be strong! You'll be there in no time!
I am in month 20 of my transition and can I be cliche and say, "it gets better". lol There is a stage when you learn how to handle both textures and it becomes easier. In the beginning, I said I would chop after 2 years transitioning and I'm trying to be consistent and stick by my word. It is my own personal challenge and trust me; I am tempted to chop because I'm dying to do a WnG but patience is a virtue that I need to develop. I figure since I've lasted this long; a few more months isn't going to kill me. Things that have made my journey a little easier:
– I don't watch my length or measure my hair. (It's like watching paint dry)
– Be gentle and patient when detangling
– I style my hair like it's already natural (twist-outs, braid-outs, bantu knot-outs, protective styling, etc.)
– I try to keep my hair moisturized throughout the week and include deep conditioners if time permits on wash days
What has worked for me might not work for everyone else so ultimately you have to do what's best for you. Wishing you the best on your journey!
I transitioned for roughly 15 months. My original goal was to transition for 24 months. I could not wait any longer. Now, I am almost 24 months natural. This is one of the most rewarding decisions that I have ever made. My hair is about 2 inches shorter than it was when I first began to transition. I love my curls. Hang in there or big chop…just don't go back to the perm.
This Friday I will be 14 months post relaxer, and still transitioning. 7 inches of new growth (can it even be called that) and I have had my ups and downs.
One thing I do when my I am bummed about my hair is to visit my all natural section. Yes, I have a relaxed ends free section in the back. I spritz it with water, rake my fingers through it, and drool over the curl pattern. With that in mind, my mind is focused again on my length goal and serenity returns. Try it. Either you'll be so satisfied with your curls, you'll big chop or it will give you focus to get to your goal.
I feel and understand your pain! Transitioning is a difficult process and like you I am beyond impatient. The big chop does get more immediate results but while you are transitioning take the time to understand what may or may not work for your hair. Get to know it better, it's frustrating now but it won't last forever.
I've been transitioning for just over 1 year. It's a lot of work and i know that without sites like this one and You Tube, I probably wouldn't have made it.
I would say that my toughest time has been swimming. Last summer I was in Florida and my transitioning hair was a tangled mess when I got out of the pool. I literally made my husband find a store where I could buy more conditioner to be able to get a comb through my hair. LOL!
I may just big chop in May so that I won't have to go through that again this summer. 🙂
I'm almost 2 years all-natural. I never did a BC or transition because I started with a texturized TWA. So all I needed was a few little trims over about 6 months to get rid of the chemically-treated ends.
I will never understand why so many women are so afraid of short hair! I wore my hair very short – natural or texturized – for over a decade. I loved the low maintenance and received literally tons of compliments.
I wonder if the fear stems from low confidence and self-esteem, which are internal and have nothing to do with hair.
I try to focus on hair health not length. With health, the growth will happen. After almost 2 years of growth and minimal trimming, my hair is CBL when stretched. Should/could it be longer by now? Don't know and don't really care.
All I know is that I loved my hair when it was MBL & relaxed. I loved it when it was TWA. And I love it now that I can rock a big ass curly 'fro.
I'm not going to rant today, but I just want to lend support to all the transitioners and anyone else who feels like they are struggling with something. Hang in there! Stay positive and know that this will pass. Keep your heads up, take a deep breath and smile! A smile ALWAYS helps-even if for a minute. 🙂
Peace
I'm almost at my 14 month mark since I had a perm. In July 2011, I couldn't take it anymore with the straight ends, so I cut them off. I probably had 2 1/2 or 3 inches of new growth. And believe me when I finished cutting, I was not happy!!!!!! To this day I still have a few straight ends. Transitioning is HARD but I have learned to just deal with it through the good days and all the bad days. The light is at the end of the tunnel and I am sooooo looking forward to shining in it!!!!!!
@anonymous 9:39
Can I cosign that, please? I was fine with trasitioning right up until the moment I realized I was transitioning – then I lost ALL patience!
I'm 11 months in and am wearing braids, cause working with the two textures on a daily is such a chore! If I had balls, I would have cut off the ends already, but I don't and most likely will not grow any either….
I did the big chop. Honestly I have no balls either but the only reason it happened is because my impatience is greater than my fear of being bald. lol
I'm 7 months into trasitioning and it is damn frustrating. Some days I see my hair's progress and am happy I made the choice to embrace my curls in a world that is constantly telling me straight is better. But, on other days I just want to cut it all off or take the easy way out and sear it with a 400 degree flat iron becaue this in between stage is just the worst! Down with these stringy ends! What keeps me going? Keeping my eye on the prize. Forums like this. Curly Nikki's gorg mane, and sites like Black Girl Long Hair. Gotta start somewhere and this is my journey, which ironically has turned out to be about a lot more than hair – it's become about my confidence and self esteem – to be able to push forward with something in the face of rude questions from friends and side ways glances from co-workers. At the end of the day I love my hair because its mine, and its soft, because i finally have thick edges, because my buns have only gotten bigger and more luscious over the months, because my stands (the ones that aren't stringy :)are this great mix of kinky and curly, and because finally, after 30 years on this earth I'm taking the time to learn and love the hair God gave me.
Absolutely EXHAUSTING!! I'm only in month 3 of my transition process and i'm already contemplating a texlax, i know for shame :o( however the 'perfect head of curls' one day 'wet cotton ball' the next and the constant wheel of products are taking me down, lol
But i will stay strong and embrace the struggle…but holla at me in 10mins and see if i still feel the same way ;o)