“Ugh, that dress looks horrendous on you! Your thighs are much too big to pull off a column, maxi dress. What else do you have in your closet?”
I turn and shoot the overtly opinionated, word assailant a look of a thousand deaths, at which she responds-
“What? I’m just being real, girl. You know I can’t let you leave out of here in that, thinking you look good, right?”

Okay, now… I can’t be the only one who’s witnessed someone spew a bad choice of words or engage in mortifying, public spectacles all in the name of said person being “real”. I wonder though, why is it that most (not all, but most) things that seem to be a result of “realness” are so negative?

When I think of all of the instances/situations, that I have been involved in, that the word real has been thrown into, I have noticed that it gets tacked on to the beginning of a confidence bruising statement like, “Can I be real with you for a second? Your hair could really use a comb.” It can also be on the back end of a defense. “I don’t know you, but I don’t like you. I’d rather just be real, than act fake.” There are also those instances where I find myself digging in my purse for cash in case I have to bail one of my “real” girlfriends out of jail for smacking some unsuspecting patron who spoke out of turn or something… lol! That has never happened, but I hope you catch my drift.

The point I’m trying to make here is, I think we should give “realness” a break for a while and pick up some authenticity. Now, I realize that they both mean, just about the same thing, but in my opinion, it takes a little more class, and maturity to pull off authenticity than it does realness. Anyone can be “real” if the moment presents itself, but it takes someone who truly knows who they are to be authentic. Maybe I’m naïve, but I think we all have more positivity in us than we are willing to admit sometimes. Though it may be easier to play the role of “Negative Nancy” or “Bad Mouth Betty” at times, there’s a reason why it feels just as good to speak a kind words as it does to hear them. We all prefer feeling good, hence the reason why we inherently prefer positivity. Positive reinforcements from co-workers and bosses make ones job less stressful. Positive affirmations before you start your day can help you have a better outlook on whatever you may face throughout the day. See? Positivity is damn near addicting, once you get the hang of it!

When you arm yourself with more positive thoughts and surround yourself with more positive people, it allows you take a little bit of “edge” off of what you may say and do. Now, I understand that there will be times when you have to share your opinions honestly, but that’s not to say that you can’t do it in a way that is less hurtful to the person receiving the criticism. Now, I don’t hold myself faultless. There are times that I find myself giving a side eye to some of the monstrosities I see on the red carpet and sometimes in my local grocery store. However, I do my best to remember that they wouldn’t have left their homes in those outfits if they didn’t think they looked good.

Life is about loving, sharing, laughing, crying, giving and taking. Life isn’t about tearing down, and beating up in the name of being real. Love yourself, love each other, and treat each other with respect and dignity. Be the person you were truly created to be, be Authentic.