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Curly Nikki

How to Accept Constructive Criticism

By January 27th, 20218 Comments

How to Accept Constructive Criticism

Part of self-assessing is learning to accept constructive criticism. It’s easy to decide on our own what we think our flaws are, or where we have room for improvement. It’s a bit more difficult to accept ourselves as other people perceive us—especially when we don’t agree with what they see.

Do you ever feel like people assign you flaws because they just don’t “get” you? It may be true that they don’t have a complete picture of your personality, but they can only go by the information you’ve given them.

Let’s take the office, for example: I have a rather subdued personality—and my professional personality, even more subdued than that. In a sales driven environment where people equate “energy” with loud, fast-talking, hyper-excited behavior, I’m a bit of an anomaly. More often than not, my performance feedback includes notes on being more “energetic” and “excited about {my} projects”. I know that I’m excited about my projects, and that my energy is exerted in a creative fashion—that standout marketing pitch or beautifully written communication is living breathing proof of my energy (and thankfully my direct manager understands this as well). But some people don’t seem to get that.

So how do we accept constructive criticism? We do just that—accept it. We listen, and take it in and consider for a moment, how we might “improve” in the given area, and we ask questions. Is there validity to this? How will this affect my career/family situation/friendships? Can I adjust this behavior without compromising my core values?

Weigh the balance between what feels like your true self, and what the perception of you might be. Get honest with yourself; this is not an excuse to be lazy or to let yourself off the hook for things you know need to be changed. Accept that this is the perception, and then either acknowledge it as your own truth, and adjust; or relegate it to their opinion and lock it away in that place in your mind of detached awareness. If there is too much of a disparity between what they see and what you feel is true, it may be time to consider changing your environment, if possible.

It is important to be aware of how we are perceived, and that’s why constructive criticism can be positive. Whether we agree or disagree, it gives us an opportunity to self-evaluate and to be more aware of how we are affecting others in our environment.

Do you find value in constructive criticism? Or do you have a difficult time accepting it?



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PLPT is co-authored by Kim Jackson and GG Renee with the intention of connecting with women through messages of self-love and personal freedom. We believe that true beauty starts on the inside and radiates outward, so maintaining emotional health and balance should be an essential part of every woman’s beauty regimen. We use this platform as an opportunity to share our personal experiences, and to help other women who are seeking guidance to find their own truths and live fabulously.

8 Comments

  • Anonymous says:

    I try to accept constructive criticism. Lately since moving back to nyc from fl I've been considered to be boring from friends, random dates that don't call back and even a prescreen interview. I just think certain peoples lives around me are predictable, so I isolate myself from people by keeping things to myself also going out and doing things alone.

  • hyspin says:

    Taking my job is built of constructive criticism it is easy for me to take. As for when it is not constructive criticism I very easy to ignore it, but some people suck as constructive criticism and misinterpret what it truly is. The only time I have a problem handling constructive criticism is when it show cases a personal flaw that I should be able to fix, but am unable to do so because of lack of skill, misunderstanding or emotional distress.

  • Emmanuella says:

    I liked this. It's important to remember

  • purplgirl48 says:

    When it comes to constructive criticism at work. I'm okay. But with my personal relationship, particularly my DH, I'm terrible. I just feel so attacked and hurt. It's just hard listening to something negative about your self from the person you love and are suppose to feel safe with. Thanks for this post, I'm going to apply this to my life.

  • Dee Emerald says:

    beautifully written, I couldn't agree more.

  • Anonymous says:

    I have trouble trying to stop making excuses. I am getting better at keeping my mouth closed when receiving constructive criticism.

  • Anonymous says:

    Love Love Love. Keeping a mental note of this for myself because I struggle with this a lot but no one is perfect. But I do know if you consider what others think espeically loved ones than you can see that its out of love or to help you become a better person. I take in and think about what was said, to see if I can make change or room for improvement.

  • Anonymous says:

    i only eat whole wheat pasta, do they make whole wheat Campanelle pasta?

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