I think some women take their natural hair way too seriously, like a job almost. When I hear of expensive products, weird treatments and ungodly hours spent on hair, I wonder why.
Is the quest for long hair that important? Whatever happened to stopping and smelling the roses and enjoying our curls at all stages? You can’t enjoy your hair if you are constantly caring for it and never take the time to stop and actually admire at it.
Unfortunately for me, all of my days are fully booked, so I simply don’t have the time to pick up the full time job of hair care.
So here is the list of things I will not be doing because, I love my hair and all, but I really just aint got the time, darlin’.
I’ve never quite understood the point of this. Apparently some women do it before cleansing to avoid getting tangles and dry hair during the washing process, especially if they intend to shampoo.
When I shampoo, I don’t use industrial cleaner and I don’t use the entire bottle. Therefore, I don’t suffer from thirsty hair. Also, when the shampoo was created, the inventors foresaw this problem and created another wonderful invention that would undo any short term damage the shampoo would cause. This ingenious invention is none other than conditioner.
I refuse to prolong the washing process with an hour plus of pre-pooing when I can simply let conditioner soak in my hair while I perform my other showerly duties. I mean, am I missing something here?
It’s like there was a convention on ways to make natural hair more complicated than it needs to be and someone had the bright idea of finger detangling. I get that we don’t want to damage our ends, but unless I’m using something that looks like Velcro to detangle, the damage done should be minimal.
If you are a loosely coiled diva or thin haired naturalista, then finger detangle away, but tight coils and thick hair just aren’t really conducive to finger detangling. I can simply imagine the amount of shed hair left behind creating more tangles and the hours spent trying to get a head full of hair detangled with my fingers alone.
I live and die by my wide toothed comb because it’s just easier and faster. Plus, I can’t quite figure out if my hair is damaging my nails or if it’s the other way around, but either way that ripping sound scares me.
I love my natural hair, but I draw the line at lengthy styling sessions. I want to be in and out as quickly as possible because my idea of a good time does not involve spending hours in front of the mirror. I will not separate my hair section by section and apply layer after layer of product, then style it.
And don’t get me started on having to re-wet hair that has long since dried and tangled. To remedy this, I have searched high and low to find products that are heavy enough to keep me moisturized so I don’t have to use multiple products in one sitting. I advise you do the same and see how much free time you’ll get back for doing other, more entertaining things.
All Day Deep Conditioning
Although I live a pretty dull life, I like to imagine that at any point in time someone will call me to go somewhere or do something amazing, and when that happens, the last thing I want to say is, “Girl sorry, I can’t. I just put in this (insert fruit or vegetable) treatment in my hair and it has to sit for at least 10 hours.”
There are some treatments that need to sit for a long time, like henna, but for everything else there is only so much it can do. If the instructions say 15 to 45 minutes, an entire day will not make it do anything extra. All that oil dripping down my neck, walking around smelling funny and not being able to rest my head on surfaces would drive me crazy, so I don’t know how some women do it.
If it has to stay on for 15 minutes, then 14 minutes later it will be out because 1) I’m a good girl and like to follow instructions and 2) I don’t take my hair that seriously.
Now I know that many women reading this do the things on this list, and if you do, then that’s fine, because to each his own. But thank God that natural hair is a community and not a cult, because if the things listed above were mandatory, the creamy crack might still have its hold on me.