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Curly Nikki

The Ugly Side of Being Pretty in America

By January 27th, 202179 Comments
The Ugly Side of Being Pretty in America
by Sherrell Dorsey of OrganicBeautyVixen

Maybe it’s the discussion I went to last night with Dr. Cornel West
and Tavis Smiley addressing poverty in America that had me feeling some
type of way when I woke up this morning to write this post. Or maybe
it’s my quest to discover a deeper, more connected sense of self and my
purpose that has me contemplating exactly how my actions as an
individual affect the outcome of others in this world and in this
country. I don’t know what it is but there’s a clarity that has opened
my eyes far beyond seeing OBV as a simple beauty blog on the bandwagon
with every other “fashionista” working to get samples and a contract
with a big brand to endorse their products.

I’m talking about the value systems we have put in to place that is
currently overshadowing our basic compassion for humanity. In truth, we
are all suffering. Turn on Basket Ball Wives or Real Housewives anything
and witness the suffering. Have you ever seen so many gorgeously ugly
women in America? When did we start to adopt such a hateful distaste for
each other?

Someone please tell me that Evelyn from BBW doesn’t need a hug. She
recently launched a makeup line (which I do not endorse nor support for
ethical and moral reasons) to help cover up the lack of love, true love
she has in her life. What other than lack of love and spiritual morality
makes a grown woman stand on a table and throw a drink in someone’s
face? Red bottoms, fancy designer purses, million dollar bank accounts
and the obsession that we have with the celebrity lifestyle aside, at
what point do we use our mediums and voices to raise the concerns of the
present time.

What would happen if Beyonce addressed the issue of 22% of our
children in America not getting enough to eat? Would there be a
revolution in the name of all that is Bey?

What if, instead of game shows like “Who Want’s to Be a Millionaire?”
we supported shows like the infamous “Oprah’s Big Give” and redirected
our attention away from fame, fortune and celebrity to that of the most
simple and precious idea of all: That we are our brother’s keeper and to
love thy neighbor as we love ourselves.

When did it become the norm to care more about the type of house that
we live in than to care about whether or not a single mother has enough
money to pay for daycare? Why are we paying Nene Leakes millions of
dollars each year to spew hate, self-celebration and lack of compassion
for anyone but herself?

Where are our value systems people? These are the people the
generation is looking towards. If being pretty and soul-less is what
success looks like, I’d rather be ugly doing God’s work.

What are your thoughts?
Sherrell
Dorsey is an eco-glamour expert, writer, speaker, social entrepreneur
and creator of the blog OrganicBeautyVixen.com – “A Brown Girl’s
Guide to Eco-Glam Living”. Sherrell believes that going green with
your beauty routine doesn’t mean you have to sacrifice your fierce and
fabulous style. Connect with her on twitter and facebook for all things beauty, green, eco-friendly, organic, sustainable and of course… Eco-glam.

79 Comments

  • Anonymous says:

    This is a well written article. In my opinion the reference to Beyoncé is notably due to her fame and fortune. Clearly, she has achieved a status not shared by all. Her ability to make millions based on her own talents is quite an achievement. What do I know is that her name alone commands attention and control. So if her name was used or associated with other positive things and activities that would enlighten and uplift our black community we would be at a significant advantage. We must actively work at breaking these cycles which are generational.

    In regards to the reality shows, the ratings are what keep these type shows on television. We need to STOP watching it! Two quotes come to mind… “Integrity is doing the right thing, even when no one is watching.” C.S Lewis and “Be the change you want to see on the world”, Mahatma Ghandi

  • Leslie says:

    While I wouldn't suggest Beyonce be part of the "Black Intelligentsia", I wouldn't group her with the females on Basketball Wives or any of the other reality shows either. The behavior shown and celebrated on RHOA and particularly BBW is sad and embarrassing. The Angry Black Woman on steroids. Unfortunately, in the eyes of some, they are US. I'd rather myself and my daughter be lumped with Beyonce.

  • Anonymous says:

    The sad thing is that in actuality, we interect with women that attempt to live such lifstyles. Many are digging themselves into an emotional and financial pit that they may not be able to dig out of without sisterly and spiritual guidance. if you know one, give them a real talk before they miss out on their true gifts and blessings.

  • Delphi says:

    Most blog entries on this site are well researched and accurate. The Beyonce claim is down right false– and I am not even a huge fan. A pity to distract from the authors point with inaccuracies. She should do her research before she publishes.

  • Anonymous says:

    Beautifully written!

  • DecemberPumpkin says:

    i like this post there is a lot of truth to be read

  • Anonymous says:

    Co-sign anon 9:57

  • Anonymous says:

    A great work ethic packaged with poor verbal skills is not something I want my nieces to aspire to. My personal opinion is that in most cases, this would limit them. Now, if they decide to become a half naked booty shaking, highly paid entertainer, things would be different. :0]

    I agree with previous commenter who essentially said we need to ELEVATE our expectations of what a role model is. We can walk (speak articulately) and chew gum at the same time (work hard).

  • Anonymous says:

    Society is so anti-bully all of a sudden yet we are entertained by all the bullying that we see on reality tv. The adults do it, we glorfiy it and we wonder why the children do it. How hypocritical.

  • Anonymous says:

    "Great post, loving the last sentence. I pretty much stopped watching all Reality shows (with the exception of Swamp People and First 48) because my psyche was being compromised. Really, if we fill our lives and enjoy screaming/yelling/back biting and idolizing, I truly believe we begin to jeopardize our own character."

    AGREED!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Anonymous says:

    Beyonce is an easy target, but she should not be lumped in with the women of BBW or RHOA. Beyonce may not be college-educated and she may split a verb or two. (The same could be said of many of our own mothers or grandmothers.) Whether you are a fan or not, if you look beyond Beyonce's blonde hair and bling and famous husband, you will see a young woman with an extraordinary work ethic who strives for and achieves her goals. That quality is one that more of us, young and old, should emulate. Role models don't just come in a "college-educated, professional" package.

  • Anonymous says:

    " Ironically many women claim to not like drama,but will tune in to watch these shows which are based upon endless drama."

    Very true….!!

    Most of the women that I know who watch these shows engage unnecessary drama in their own life. Maybe not to the extent as the women on reality tv do but they certainly engage in their fair share. The backstabbing, gossip, (etc) and they don't see anything wrong with it.

  • Kudos says:

    Great post, loving the last sentence. I pretty much stopped watching all Reality shows (with the exception of Swamp People and First 48) because my psyche was being compromised. Really, if we fill our lives and enjoy screaming/yelling/back biting and idolizing, I truly believe we begin to jeopardize our own character.

  • Anonymous says:

    2Corinthians 4:4 talks about the "god of this system of things blinding the minds of the unbelievers, that the illumination of the glorious good news about the Christ, who is in the image of God, might not shine through". That "god" is Satan the Devil and that is why the majority of mankind reflects his demonic personality "greed, slanderous, murderous, liars, rebelliousness, etc.," so we shouldn't be surprise that these shows are garbage because they appeal to mankind's imperfect and sinful state that we inherited from our first parents, Adam and Eve. And that's why we're encouraged to put on the Christian spiritual armor to help us fight against Satan's crafty acts in order to become approved by our Creator, Jehovah God.

  • Anonymous says:

    CurlyNikki your silence is deafing…I know you love some of these shows because you've mentioned them in some of your articles. You're a college educated woman & now new mom, what's your input?

  • Anonymous says:

    To one of the Anonymous–JayZ is pimping his woman out just like her daddy did and I guess his mentality is if daddy can, why can't I and Beyonce don't get the point after all, daddy did it first?! LOL

  • Anonymous says:

    I have refused to watch these shows for the same reason I refuse to watch Flaver Flav's embarrassing A$$ show. We wonder why it's so difficult to shake the stereotype of angry black women or other misconceptions, it's partly due to shows like this. And tv exec are the ones cashing in.

  • Anonymous says:

    Shame has moved out of our lives. I agree with the previous posters about the people I know who ardently watch the awful shows like Real Housewives, BB Wives, Kardashians, Braxtions,Flavor Flav….gosh, the list goes on & on. We need to be ashamed of these shows instead of supporting them. I was having a conversation about this subject with my best friend a few days ago and she forwarded an excellent article in Uptown magazine by Star Jones:

    http://uptownmagazine.com/2011/03/spotlight-shame-on-us/

  • Anonymous says:

    This is profound for a majority of reasons. I am an African American female news anchor, and I can't tell you the number of my friends who can quote every line from these shows but don't know what's going on in the country around them. And these are EDUCATED women! PROFESSIONAL women! We have got to redirect our focus to things that really matter. And not just when it makes so many national headlines that it's trending on Twitter and Facebook SMH…

  • *Nay* says:

    All these women(the RealHousewives,BBW etc. ) have all this money and luxury but still feel the need to fight and beef with each other. Ironically many women claim to not like drama,but will tune in to watch these shows which are based upon endless drama.
    I know not caring for Beyonce is a taboo subject, but seeing how many women follow her like Jesus, shows how influential she is. Maybe if she took up a cause people would follow her,but she's only an entertainer right?

  • Anonymous says:

    I definitely understand the author's point. However, the problem is that TV show producers see dollar signs. As the consumers, we have to change the ideals we present. When BBW, RHOA, etc receive such high ratings, especially when there is a ton of drama on the show, they want to repeat the numbers. The reason the negativity is so high… it sells. Sad, but true. The majority of these women who participate in these shows are not truly this ridiculous. At least I hope they aren’t, I think they act out because it increases ratings and a paycheck. To some extent it is like selling your soul for higher ratings. I mean come on, the things that get these grown ass women riled up, it is more acting than reality.
    At the end of the day, these shows will be running continuously until the ratings drop. Big business does not care about the next generation or raising our kids, which is a job of parents. As parents, we have to raise our own children and not let TV and 'superstars' do it. It starts with you.

  • Niki c. says:

    I agree with anonymous 1:30am regarding Beyonce… She is an entertainer not a role model. I personally do not like her, when I look at her I dont see the worlds most beatiful woman (as People say) I've seen and I know prettier. I dont want my daughter growing up idolizing her or looking up to her that is what I am for. I want my children to go to school and finish(something Beyonce didnt)her parents thought her singing should be first and basically pimped her out. I hate that she has to be dang well naked in order to sing. Im sorry ladies if Im stepping on toes but this lady is married and her husband is pimping her out. As my husband says…. "my body is for him to see not the worlds."

  • Anonymous says:

    Warning: MY opinion

    Beyonce is an entertainer who has made millions, essentially shaking her booty in skimpy clothing. She is talented (entertainment-wise), but I would not consider her to be a role model. She may not be as bad as the RHOA or BBW, but she is definitely not in role model status, as far as I am concerned.

    With the troubles that plague our society, especially in terms of powerful black female images, I do not think she represents true success. Michelle Obama- a well spoken, healthy, very fit,educated, wife, mother, professional who has never used her body to get ahead is the kind of example I personally hold in role model status. She is the real deal. There are others like her, except they do not get 'press' and are sadly, often torn down in our community. Many of these women are doing their thing under very isolating conditions.

    Beyonce cannot speak clearly without slicing a verb or two. It disgusts me that society labels someone a role model for all the wrong reasons- money, being married to a platinum rapper/mogul,etc.
    WHEN WILL WE TRULY START TO VALUE EDUCATION, HEALTH/ FITNESS, AUTHENTIC LIVING and EXCELLENT verbal skills?

  • Elaine D. says:

    Yes to "using our mediums"…which are many nowadays, to address problems today. Totally agree!

  • Erica says:

    You said a mouthful. I got tired of Basketball Wives (not!) after the first season. I decided to let go of RHOA this season as well. My time is too precious for this mess. I agree with Anon 6:07, the revolution starts with us. If we redirect our remotes, the ratings will drop and the shows will be dropped too.

  • PhenomenallyMe says:

    For that reason, I do NOT watch reality TV. I used to because I thought those shows "BBW etc" were going to be about black women who do something other than what these women do. They are confirming a stereotype and they are making young girls think that it is ok to bully and belittle our sisters. It is not and if we just turned off the tv and took that time to reach out to someone out there who is truly looking for a hand we might contribute to a major revolution. Until we turn off the tv and stop supporting this non-sense by NOT watching these shows, we'd be ok….Until then…a slow demise is waiting for the black community.

  • Anonymous says:

    truth is.. someone likes it or the shows would not be successful. it's how some wish they were living or either some folks love to see a train wreck. not a fan of any of te shows myself, but when i am visiting te home of someone who watches, i have to tear myself way from the ignorance – it can be addictive. i love the omments here as they make SO much sense. but. for each of us that does not watch these shows or live this way, there are 100 that do. great black women are more of a minority than the black woman herself.

  • Anonymous says:

    AMEN!!! I have made a conscious choice NOT TO WATCH! And thank you for speaking out about it!

  • Pamela says:

    Just say no and turn the channel to something more positive and uplifting.

  • KJ says:

    I have to agree, the hatefulness and self-absorption is disgusting on BBW and RHWA. But, I can't help but to watch it and get sucked in. It's like watching a train wreck, you just can't help but to watch.

  • Sweetlady says:

    I totally agree with you,thanks for stepping out of the cloud of smoke to see the truth about reality tv.

  • Anonymous says:

    I don't like the fact you attacked Beyonce, she is a great example of wife, mother, daughter, friend. I do agree that you can bring a horse to water, but you can't make it drink! Some people who do evil towards other, ie. Evelyn, seem to prosper, but only for a short while. Also the Bible says you will have the poor with you always, in saying that, a single mother needing $ to pay for daycare, get more benefits than married mothers who work, we come out even or they come out better, while others have to pay back school loans. So I'm with you on some things, but on others…..I respectfully disagree!

  • Anonymous says:

    PREACH!!!

  • Anonymous says:

    Not to be perceived as sanctimonious, but, this topic hit a major nerve for me. The "movers and shakers" seem to not only have their finger on the moral pulse of most of America, but they're actively "guiding" thoughts and actions. The sentiments presented here are most certainly valid. What really concerns me is the number of these inane, base, disrespectful and despicable shows that are not only being aired, but are apparently doing well enough to warrant ever more viewers every season. The issues of the day can be seen as reflective of the images we're allowing into our homes. Who do we hold as responsible for a general lack of morality if we blindly follow the immoral? These shows pitting one human being against another, in any aspect, makes me think of descriptions of the ancient Roman gladiators. If we sit too close to the "action" in the arena, we may be splattered with blood. I choose to draw the line, even if no one is aware that I've refused to be herded. I prefer living life rather than living it vicariously, or being influenced by some anonymous ad guy's idea of what is real or entertaining. Sadly, someone is most definitely watching them.

  • Anonymous says:

    I guess beauty is in the eye of the beholder, as I don't find any of the women on those shows very attractive. Their attitudes and personalities S U C K and none of them look healthy and fit. They sit around and drink , eat, talk crap and fight. THey are loud and uncouth.
    What's there to love????

  • Anonymous says:

    Amen. I don't watch any of those shows or support any of that bs and I don't hesitate to tell people why they shouldn't either when the topic comes up.

  • Anonymous says:

    Hello, great post by everyone. I am not a huge fan of reality tv. I first watched Keeping up with the Kardashians and I sat there thinking how these women love our men and how our men with money love these women. I am not prejudice or anything but, I do feel we in the black community have come to believe that we must be like the women on tv in order to garner attention. The RHOA is a bad description of women. It is sad that ratings and money has allowed the writers, producers and women to lose perspective of what is important. The cussing, negative comments and dislike is what people thing is the norm in the black community.
    A change has to come, soon. Traci

  • Anonymous says:

    I AGREE with this post. However I think that a lot of people do not understand that this is ALL business!! These women on these reality shows get paid big money for acting a fool on T.V. The more ignorant, the more popular they are, the more money they get.Hell some of them even get their OWN SHOW for acting like such a fool, so the network finds it profitable to put this person on blast even more!!And peopl eat it up.I think one really has to take a closer look at these reality shows.Some of the woman use that plat form as a way of starting their own business and getting their name/brand out there i.e. Bethenny Frankel<–LUV her!!Young woman can learn so much about how a business is started and what it takes,and what are the trade off's of owning your own business.
    R.J.

  • Anonymous says:

    Candace4 life thank you for sharing that picture. She is the bomb…

  • Anonymous says:

    correction: the intention was not for us to ignore digging deeper about the meaning of life…

  • Anonymous says:

    Good or bad, celebrities have always held an esteemed place in the Black community, from Jack Johnson to Muhammad Ali, Harry Belafonte to Will Smith, Lena Horne to Halle Berry, Diana Ross to Beyonce, you name it. Long before Ebony, Essence Vibe, and Uptown, Black newspapers had society and gossip columns and also reported on Black entertainment.

    Good or bad, reality TV is entertainment. True, most of it isn't even "reality" and much of it is not appropriate for children. But bottom line, if you don't like it, don't watch it. I don't think it is fair to put all the blame on BBW or RHOA for what's going wrong in our communities. Our children most closely mirror the behaviors of the adults closest to them, not just who's on the TV.

    If I chose, I could watch the absolute worst of reality TV (I don't), but still commit to raising my sons to be confident, kind, positive, respectful young men. My husband and I model the behavior and priorities that we want our sons to embrace. We talk to them to know what's going on in their lives and guide them to be strong in who they are and true to what we believe in as a family.

    Watching reality TV (or being on a reality TV show) doesn't automatically mean a person is not also committed to activities that enrich the community. Also, I personally know a lot of people who are active in their big, beautiful, prosperous churches but never do anything out in the communities where advocacy and support are most needed.

    Not trying to start an argument…just presenting a different perspective.

  • Anonymous says:

    Someone I know coined it "suffering in luxury"…We went, and to some extent, are going through an era where we were taught to "fake it" till you make it. Some took that to mean to look "successful" until you get there. But I think we missed the boat somewhere. The intention was not for us to dig deeper into the meaning of life. Some religious institutions have been addressing this issue; but many have not. I recall going to a church where a sister who was struggling with her family came in looking clean, well groomed but apparently not fly enough and people turned their heads and looked in disdain. We've got to start acknowledging that we are more than 2 dimensional. I miss the editorials that Susan Taylor use to give monthly on this issue in Essence. I would love to find more role models who address this issue; thus far Iyanla Vanzant who has been to the mountain top and back to the trenches speaks to my heart…who speaks to yours on the issue of this post…I really want to know so I can expand my knowledge base. Thank you for this wonderful post and thread.

  • Anonymous says:

    Snaps all around. Let the revolution start with us. We have to be the ones to take a stand and make known that this type of behavior is unacceptable.

  • Sherrell says:

    Regarding the Beyonce issue, let me clarify that I am a HUGE fan of hers. I also do know that she does a lot of work and giving back. It is not a judgement against her. The statement was made to make an overall point that many celebrities have such a strong influence that if they stood up for something and spread awareness of the issues going on in America there would be more action taken.

  • Candace4life says:

    Interesting article, and agreed with alot of the posters above.

    ************
    Did you ladies see the latest pic of Nicole Ari Parker wife Of Boris Kodjoe?, she is a natural with a TWA. I saw this picture while browsing "BGLH" site a few minutes ago, she looks good.
    http://blackgirllonghair.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/Nicole+Ari+Parker+Streetcar+Named+Desire+Opening+8NpaiR_fr9Zl.jpg

  • Steph...In Motion says:

    Thought-provoking article! Makes me think about what I SAY I value vs. what I SHOW I value. Recently I've been spending more time on my outward appearance. Does that mean I value beauty over the things I claim are more important like kindness and service to others? For me it comes down not to rearranging my priorities, but rearranging my actions to accurately reflect those priorities.

  • Anonymous says:

    Great article sweetie. I have no answers, but I so feel what you're saying and America's priorities about EVERYTHING is all screwed up and in the gutter.

  • WineGrrl says:

    …which would pretty much defeat the purpose of the cold towel!

  • WineGrrl says:

    Every time I try to watch those shows, I want to take to my bed with cold towel on my forehead and a glass of wine as close as possible.

  • Anonymous says:

    I don't watch any of the shows mentioned. If I want laughs I go for the good old comedies of back in the day or better yet vintage cartoons…The Flintstones, etc. I really don't think any of those reality shows are worth my time and they are a rather sad substitute for anything funny. Also, I have a pretty good life and therefore, I've never had envy for any of the celebrity types because too me, their livesare soul-less and meaningless otherwise they'd be happier (i.e., the multiple marriages/divorces, substance/alcohol abuse and subsequent rehab visits and dying young as a result). Nah, I'm good.

  • Alicia says:

    Awesome perspective and article Sherrell! Very well written and thought provoking. I just have one issue with it which I will, at the risk of being attacked for actually being a fan of Beyonce. I can't speak for Evelyn, as I don't know, but Beyonce does great work with numerous charities. She has often addressed the needs of others less forntunate publicly. It doesn't get as publicized as her other activities, but that lack of media attention doesn't make her "soul-less". Unfortunately, as hinted in your article and in many of the earlier comments, the responsibility lies with the consumers who gobble the "trash" wholeheartedly. If we, as consumers, truly stop watching or making friviolous things such as celebrities' daily walks with their children "hot" items or profitable, then the media wouldn't cover it. The "movement" begins with the consumers. Let's get it!

  • Anonymous says:

    I think its a bit dramatic. Yes, we all know that the reality shows are fake and rarely show anything positive…however, everyone has a choice whether to watch them or not. Its like comedy. You may not always laugh at the jokes, but it doesnt make it any less entertaining. The type of person I am and how I raise my daughter does not come from Evelyn or anyone else on VH1. I can turn off the TV and go about my life in a positive way.

  • Unknown says:

    I agree with you completely. I just had the very same conversation with my husban this morning, using the same woman as examples. We have to do better for the young women coming up.

  • Lillian says:

    Hi Sherrell,

    I agree with everything that everyone has said it is so important to focus on loving people and showing compassion. I completely agree that we need to take a look at ourselves and why we watch these shows to begin with. I know I Keep up with the Kardashians but I need to focus on caring for my neighbor!

    Everyone have a blessed day!

  • Sherrell says:

    Ladies you are so powerful! Thank you all for reading and commenting. I put myself out there and it is a tremendous blessing to read your responses. My heart is smiling knowing that there are so many of you beautiful sisters also feeling the same way. It makes me believe in the beauty of humanity and that somebody, anybody, does actually care about others.

    I've decided to ditch some of my toxic reality shows as well and stick to ones that enrich me like some of those series Oprah has going on at OWN.

    We should be enriched by people's lives, not hardened.

    Love and Beauty to all of you.

  • Anonymous says:

    Great post! I agree, it takes a lot to look at one's own self and understand that you are better than this garbage; the garbage we see in magazines and on "reality" shows. Anon 3:28 is totally right, this stuff is "toxic and harmful to everybody". It's important to remind ourselves and instill in the youth that it means a lot to care, to show compassion and have empathy. You never know when your smile, or compliment to someone can completely change their day or mood for the better.

  • Sabrina R Perkins says:

    I don’t watch those silly shows glamorizing fake people and their fake lives. I don’t like reality tv and I don’t follow celebrities. I like their craft and watch shows that depict that but the whole reality tv craze is not my bag.

    Too much emphasis is made on the rich and famous while people are homeless, starving, abused and without hope in this dire economy. I feel you on a very deep level and understand where you are coming from. Yes, there are many of us out here realizing how wrong our society is.

  • Anonymous says:

    Awesome Article! We must remember that the Bible warns us of this "last days" behavior that has become popular among the world 2 Tim.3:1-5, reading those scriptures is like reading a newspaper or watching one of those "reality" shows.

  • kdg says:

    Great article and so true! I never understood the popularity of those shows; and I have never watched them. It seems that every time you turn around, another celebrity has a "reality" show. Why? Don' t we all have enough going on in our own lives…that's reality, not what is own tv. I also love the last line…I would also rather be ugly doing God's work! BTW, this is my first post here although I am a long term lurker!

  • Anonymous says:

    Lol…I HEAR YOU WiseCurls! That Ugly doing God's Work quote! was EXTRAORDINARY, EXCEPTIONAL, PHENOMENAL, in other words. IT WAS ALL THAT! She def get's the award for BEST QUOTE! Why is this going on my pin board at home…huUUUmMMMM let me think about that??? yAL ALREADY KNOW!;)

  • KCSMA GirlScouts says:

    Wow! This is very true. I am the role model for my children, not a TV persona. i don't keep up with the Kardashians and I certainly have no clue what the fake housewives of Atlanta do. That is not the real world. I wish more people would embrace themselves and their neighbors instead of paying these so-called celebrities to humiliate themselves all in the name of money.

  • Anonymous says:

    Thank you for calling out all this!!!!

  • Jacqueline says:

    Awesome! Not to many people have the courage to set aside what is IN, to what is really true. I salute you for your courageous article. I agree, I cannot even entertain those shows that continously show one-side of our women, what about the women who are standing for young ladies to love themselves, the women who are standing for our sons to be all they can be. What about the mothers who are fighting for childhood obesity, poverty, education and healthcare. It's sickening, I tried to watch those shows but I couldn't stomach it. I don't have the best esteem for myself, but I will be dern, if I'm going to see my sisters treat each other like they are, and have the nerve to want to put that mess on tv.

  • Anonymous says:

    I think ALL those reality show's are up for Emmy Nominations! For the MOST DEGRADING AND IGNORANT shows EVER! BBW, HOUSEWIFE, THE WHITE ONE'S TOO, MOB WIVES, BAD GIRLS CLUB, ETC! All of them!

  • WiseCurls says:

    "If being pretty and soul-less is what success looks like, I’d rather be ugly doing God’s work." << THIS! If this didn't make you stomp your feet and do a holy ghost shout! Come on somebody!!!!

    This post was better than great! You said it all. This was everything!

  • Anonymous says:

    YESSSSSS! I love this and whole heartedly agree. Time for a new movement…seriously.

  • Jessica says:

    I agree, so much to say but for the most part everyone else has said it. People need to redirect their attention to darkside of these shows and come up with ways to show these women to be happy with the inner person because the outside is far from an example of what happiness truly looks like. I watch their actions and they're tacky, class-less, and not a very good example of what female black success really looks like.

  • Anonymous says:

    The truth of the matter is that we as a society are the reason why reality shows are so popular.
    In the black community, we are so starved for representation, that we will support garbage. It happened when we embraced gangsta rap because it created opportunites for our black men, and now we are hit with reality tv….I have seen the enemy and it is US.

  • Anonymous says:

    I got rid of cable 5 years ago. No reality tv. In reality its all lies. I refuse to partake in the sport of demeaning another human being. We buy into the myth that money makes you happy. Money can buy you a nice house to live in but it cant make you live with yourself.

  • Anonymous says:

    I didn't like those reality shows from the start and I'm glad I'm not the only one. That stuff is just toxic and harmful to everybody especially the youth. How can a bunch of grown women act a fool and sell their soul all in the name of money? When is it going to end? These shows were created in the name of money. But hey, I'm just another person with an opinion.

    But I have to say this post just proves that all the money in the world and beauty does NOT make you happy. Great post especially the last line!

  • Kristina says:

    "If being pretty and soul-less is what success looks like, I’d rather be ugly doing God’s work." Wow…that's deep. I love every part of that quote.

  • gblogger says:

    Absolutely agreed!!

    When we stop promoting shows like these by watching them and increasing their sponsorship, then they wont' have the means to flaunt their foolishness!!

  • Katrina A says:

    Great article. As I read it, I couldn't help but think of Dionne Warwick's song lyrics, "What the world needs now is love sweet love, it's the only thing that theres just too little of."

  • TyaD says:

    WELL SAID! Standing ovation, roaring applause!

    I believe that everything these women do is for the money. That willingness to sell your soul for $ has to definitely take a toll on your self esteem. They are SAD in the most pitiful way! but we also have to take a hard, deep long look at ourselves because we pay their bills and keep them bickering by tuning in every week. We all play a part!

  • KSharee says:

    TALK!!! I've had friends and co-workers ask me why I don't watch these shows and I tell them they serve no purpose. I could care less how much you spend on your wardrobe, what clubs you go to or who you've been with. Self love is a big issue with me, if you really loved yourself and were confident in who you are, you would not get on national television and act a plum fool.

  • Anonymous says:

    Awesome article Sherell! I honestly watched housewives before, however now their behavior, selfishness, cattiness etc. is getting worse every season. Whatever you pour in is what you leak out…this article has changed my mind about what I watch. What the world sees as "beautiful" is ugly in God's eyes!…back to HGTV it is!! I'd rather be "Ugly and doing God's work too!" -Love it!!

  • Anonymous says:

    That's why I refuse to watch these shows! Why people support black women looking stupid I have no clue.

  • Anonymous says:

    Eye opening article! Really gives you something to think about. I know personally, I'm at a point in my life where I'm trying to mirror my life as God would have me live it! Having and showing love and compassion for those other than just my family, friend, etc.

    I'd rather be "Ugly and doing God's work too!" Thanks for the reminder Sherrell!:)

  • Anonymous says:

    Agreed.

    A few years ago, I had to take a look at myself and explore my own truth and purpose. In regards to your references about the reality TV shows, I couldn't agree with you more. I actually stopped watching those shows because, in truth, I had to explore why I was entertained by grown women acting as narcissistic bullies. What was it saying about my own self? How is it that I could be entertained by the cattiness that is associated with these kinds of show? Is it because it brings me joy?

    I know that everyone is different, and I am not in any kind of way trying to imply anything about anyone else who likes those shows but for me, it didn't sit well. I felt like I was becoming desensitized to common courtesy…as if these kinds of relationships are the norms for modern day friendships.

    Needless to say, I stop watching, completely. I am almost completely weined off the gossip blogs too– today I got sucked in because I saw a post about Star Jones boycotting the BBW.

    I completely feel you on this post…!

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