We see so many success stories across the natural hair sphere, that it
can almost make us feel ashamed or guilty if we have a doubt or two
about our natural hair journeys. Just like any other aspect of our
society; what the majority are doing is considered ‘normal’, and
anything outside of the common denominator is a cause for concern. Well,
let me tell you – there is absolutely nothing extraterrestrial about
having a few doubts!
It may feel like you’re the only one experiencing a few negative
thoughts, but guess what? Along with countless other ladies, I am right
there with you. For instance; watching one of my sisters breeze through a
wash day sesh stirs up all kinds of feelings of hair envy, because I
know my hair will take up twice the amount of time! Or, on those
occasional days when I lose all inspiration on how to style my hair, I
look back at those times when my hair would lay flat just the way I
wanted it too. If only for a moment or two, I catch myself thinking ‘if I
were still relaxed…’. Does this mean I regret my decision to go
natural? No Way!
We were accustomed to dealing with relaxed hair, for many of us – the
majority of our lives, so it is only natural that it may creep into our
thoughts every now and then. The trick is; reminding yourself of the
very reasons you chose to take a different approach to hair care in the
first place. You saw something in yourself when you embarked on this
journey that told you; ‘I have what it takes to do this’. Try to
rediscover that confidence, and don’t let the odd day or two distract
you from your goals. If you feel that you are having more than a few
doubts – don’t go solo…talk to someone before you make any drastic
decisions!
Doubts can occur in any aspects of our lives. Do not allow them to
hinder you, but get to the root of their existence to give you the best
chance in deciphering how to move past them. There are many of us within
the natural hair community here supporting you so…
i feel that this post was written at the right time in my Hair Journey. I am 4 almost 5 months post right now and i am to the breaking point. I really dont want to BC because im afraid of how i may look. i have always had shoulder length hair so a short cut would be a but shocking. but my hair has become SOOO unmanageable some days that i want to just slap a perm in and be done with it… im gonna try to stick with it though
the doubts that i have or had about my natural hair journey is that i would cut my hair off. At the same time, I know I prob wouldnt do that cuz im not ready for that as yet. The longer my hair gets the more, I dont want to do it. The majority of the time I wear scarves on my head, which is good for protective styling cuz my hair is hidden. I wear scarves cuz di I is lazy. When it comes it to washing or conditioning my hair, I'll be the one to deep condition for at least three days cuz i dont feel like doing my hair. Imma stay strong cuz i really do love my hair…just dont like the work i have to do to maintain it.
okay will definitely try it. I love SM products.
I will admit at times I do/did have doubts about my hair, but that was mainly because I couldn't achieve a wash and go like every other hair video I saw. My doubts didn't come because of shame. I have been ridiculed about my hair and laughed at and I hold my head up high and say " you are just jealous because you don't have the audacity to do so yourself " and roll on out of their presence! I love the way my hair looks and the texture of it. Wash and go's just don't agree with me, but natural hair sure does!
Ok so I am new to Curly Nikki and I felt like I needed to talk to other naturals because at times I feel like I want to straighten my hair with my brand new flat irons. I do not hate that I went natural (15 months post relaxer) but I wish my hair was easier to manage. When I had relaxers my hair was still really thick and healthy but I wanted to embrace my natural tresses so that's why I went natural. But I am still having a hard time finding out what really works for my hair.
I had doubts during the first few months of my transition, but now that I am 10 months in, those doubts are out the window and I am continuing on my path on tranistioning for the long term.
Hi Sherronda! I'm not sure of where you live but excessive heat and humidity can cause many-a-twist out to fail. Maybe wash and go's, up do's, or twists would be a good option. Best!
SM Thickening shampoo may be able to help you out. I've been using it for a year and half now. My hair is thicker but I also began taking better care of my hair in general (proper moisturizing, gentle detangling etc) at this same time so i't hard to contribute this thickness solely to the shampoo, but it may work for you.
I had doubts very early after my BC four years ago because of all the trial and error with products, multiple textures, and a porosity issue I didn't even know I had. After a year of my hair giving me the finger and cussing me out on the regular, I started watching YT vids and perusing the blogs (CurlyNikki & NaturallyCurly of course). I haven't felt a hint of a regret in years 'cause whether it's humid, rainy, blistering cold w/ super low dewpoints or even on the days I workout I have a game plan. Try to develop a Plan B for your hair on any given day. A disasterous twistout could very well turn into a cute updo/bun. 😉
Dana P.
I have had those moment heck I had one today while I was looking at my flat iron and hot rollers. I had to close the drawer and open the other with my curly products dont judge me! I was a PJ but I gave them to my mom who still stores them by my things because we share a bathroom, but not a room. Lol! The products work on my mom hair so well. Sometimes I see myself reminiscing about my straight hair days, but then I stop and think why I love my curly hair and made the decision to.
Megan Montgomery
I don't miss the hot combs or the terror/embarrassment I used to feel when my freshly pressed hair poof'd up from the humidity. But I feel equally uncomfortable styling my natural hair due to all the obvious damage. Hopefully it'll get better with time; I cant wait to see my coils again 🙂
great advice! This has been a learning process so that means that I've had, and will continue to have some setbacks. One that stands out is after my 1st set of braids during my transition, my edges were thinned out 'cause I didn't speak up and ask the braider to be extra careful+ I didn't take my time when I was taking them down. 8 months later, they've filled in nicely because i've been babying them. We live and learn, right?
Allright, that is a very encouraging article but right now I am about to give up this natural journey..my twist or braid out only lasts one day!! if I sweat or my hair gets wet I can forget about it..i'm tired of looking jacked up..I'm goin to give it one more week, and If I still look crazy, I'm goin back to a press n curl
Sometimes, I miss my relaxed hair because it was easier to manage. I will never go back, however. I remember how flat, lifeless and unhealthy my hair was. The frustration I feel sometimes is worth it in the long run.
I've definitely had moments where I'm thinking how did I make it this far without pulling all of my hair out or cutting it all off. These moments especially occur during detangling sessions, but not every one cause some days I can breeze through my hair with little to no problem. If I could just remember that even though sprit zing my hair is quicker while in twist or a bun it causes me even more tangles & ssk's, so I'm better off just using a heavy cream with water as the first ingredient. I can say that I'm enjoying this journey more than not, so I try to remember to complain a little less.
Wow! I don't go through this often, but I did just last night. I was retwisting my hair and it was really tangled and shrunken. What normally takes me 20 minutes took me almost an hour! I was frustrated but stuck, with it, took my time, and decided I wasn't taking my hair down today since it "misbehaved".
At times I'm like "why did I do this" on those mornings where a twist out looks likes a bad blow out & my puff ponytail looks like cotton candy. But than I take a deep breath, throw on some make-up & sprits & keep it moving. I've come too far (2 years total with transition & big chop) to turn back now. This was a great read for those days to remind me that I am not alone in those feelings.
I guess what I miss the most is the length. I miss wearing my hair down and pulling it into a ponytail in a bind but will I ever go back… HELL NO. My hair was way too thin with relaxers. I have naturally thin hair and combine that with a relaxer and I was the girl with long but barely there thickness.
Sometimes I do miss the easy styling of having relaxed hair, but nothing beats having thick, full hair. Plus, I'm now about 18 months into my transition so there's no turning back for me. I looking forward to more styling options once I cut off the rest of my relaxed ends.
I do have some hair envy but NEVER will I EVER return to relaxers. Looking back, my hair was limp and lifeless. My hair had no body or fullness unless I had some type of curly roller set, or rod set style. One of my main reasons for going natural is because my hair is thin and fly away in the crown and bang area. I have taken vitamins, used oils and other supposed hair thickening agents. Nothing has really done the trick. It seems to have improved some but not enough for my taste. So when I see other naturals with full crowns and bangs that are hanging all in their face I just sigh(ahhhhhhh). Maybe I will be their one day but for now I accept the hair that I have.
Morning Curlies!!!
Ok so, I don't look back to the straight days….but i do long for the days when my curly fro behaved better. Ugh some mornings I'm so frustrated tryna get Bertha (thats my 400 ton fluffy fro) and her sometimey self to behave! Or to be easy. Oh goodness, cud we just have one easy breezy non oh my monkeys im growing biceps trying to detangle you wash session! oh to be as those natural goddesses who can work a 30 min wash n go! BAH! HUMBUG! BLASPHEMY! yeah my wash n go is at least an hr/hr 30 undertaking. and it is ALWAYS a wash n go puff…the world is not ready for Bertha uncensored lol. so all in all while I cant relate to the desire for straightened locks (who needs white girl swing when i got black girl bounce boo lol) I defintly can relate to times of wishing for my curly hair glory days. *Le sigh*
Benii Blast, were you in my head this morning? I have to admit that today was one of those frustrating mornings when I was harkening back to the days of yore of the creamy crack when my hair (albeit thin) would lay down when I brushed it. 🙂 I foolishly tried a twist out this morning. I untwisted in the mirror, got dressed and was feeling myself. The Florida humidity hit me literally once I stepped in my garage. I could see my hair sucking up the moisture in the air and swelling up during my 30 minute commute. Not the look I wanted. Got to work, grabbed some bobby pins and reconfigured the hair. 🙂
To add insult to injury, last night dh told me my hair looked dry. How can this be when my hair soaks up all the water in the air? Ehhhhh….