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Curly Nikki

Is Your Hair A Reflection of Your True Self?

By January 27th, 202126 Comments
Is Your Hair A Reflection of Your True Self?
by Sherrell Dorsey of OrganicBeautyVixen

My hair has taken me on a journey through self-love, self-hatred and self-awareness.

My bathroom has been both a sanctuary and purgatory as I picked, prodded, primped and shouted to the mirror at myself.

Both praises and curses flew from my lips in the direction towards
the kinky, curly, dry and complicated strands that grew from my head.

I am my mother. I am my father. I am my ancestors. I am the little
girl that desired both long, silky straight hair and an afro as large as
Angela Davis’.

My hair is both conflict and peace. Both paradox and truth.

In it I find both solace and confusion.

It’s become part of my maturation.

Part of my self-discovery.

Part of my pain and part of my pleasure.

What is this blessing that God seemed to have hidden within a curse I was too blind-sighted to see?

My hair is a reflection of me.

My growth.

My spirit.

My insecurities.

My fearlessness.

Is your hair a reflection of the true you?


  • Karlene says:

    Why would self-esteem tied up in a bunch of dead cells on top of your head?

  • Brooke B. says:

    My natural hair is my confidence, self-esteem & love for myself that I couldn't find with my relaxed hair because I was hiding behind something that wasn't truly me or the image I wanted to see. Thank you for this article because like natural hair it was very intricate & versatile.

  • Natural Sunshine says:

    Great Post!

  • Patrice B. says:

    Your hair represents you at all times, but does not necessarily speak of your emotions. It can definitely represent your personality! I'm currently transitioning, so my hair's in twists. I usually style it, and most of the time, it screams pure sassiness, and when I'm home, it shows I'm relaxed. I like this poem (?) because it demonstrates how multi-faceted hair can be!

  • Hilary B. says:

    yes and no. I don't want to tie my identity to my hair 'cause I subconsciously did that when I used to relax and I found it problematic. I want my hair to be at its best, 'cause its a reflection of my health, skill, and even discipline. But at the same time, I don't want it to define me and I understand that's not what the author's advocating but for me, it's kind of murky where reflection ends and definition begins.

  • Candicane says:

    Yesss. I've started my loc journey and I free so much more relax and freer so far. BronzeGoddess and Chesacalocs and Prettipoisen are great ppl to watch on youtube for inspiration. I told my friends, "I'm be the chick in your wedding with the tattoos and locs"lol The internet helps you become who you are.

  • Anonymous says:

    I so agree! I'm 17 and it's amazing to see how my hair journey has been a reflection of the various changes I've gone through over the last couple of years. As a freshman in HS I was insecure and so uncomfortable with who I was. I hid behind long hair to be "pretty". I figured that's what guys liked. Now as a senior I've embraced who God has made to be, in all areas including my hair. I BC'd right after prom and it was amazing. I feel more confident than ever and I feel like my hair is a testament to that! Great post! <3

  • Anonymous says:

    Express yourself with them words girl! Yes, my hair is short and a little sassy, like me! A light brownish/blondish TWA that basically lets you know I don't have a lot of precious minutes to spend in the mirror primping, but that I do care about my look. It's fast, but always chic whether I'm dressed up or down. I love my hair because it's the gift God blessed me with and no one else has this hair. A gentleman on the elevator yesterday told me that he liked my short hair because it's cool! Yes sir, it is cool indeed! (mzcnnd)

  • Annie L. says:

    Beautiful post Sherrell! Even through breakage, damage, perms and always hiding it under extensions, my hair was a reflection of me – insecure, envious and oblivious to my own internal and external beauty. I manifested this self-contempt externally and while I don't think perming or extensions in and of themselves do this, mine was an overall unhealthy view and set of practices.

    Now after exploring and falling in love with my hair and myself, this reflection has happily transitioned to self-confident, creative and easy-going. I see myself reflected this way inside and out, and I don't know which came first the chicken or the egg but I'm really loving it.

    @Anonymous 7:46am

    I know for some 'it's just hair' but these posts are about allowing everyone to enjoy the freedom and 'safe space' that natural communities create to express themselves without feeling belittled.

  • Anonymous says:

    VERY NICE ANON 10:34! " This is the hair that the Lord has made – we shall rejoice and be glad in it!" <——-Presses REPEAT button!

  • Anonymous says:

    The more I accept my hair, the more I accept me.


    10 year old with plaits on Saturday for press-n-curl Sunday

    16 year old with first relaxer, overprocessing documented by HS yearbook pictures

    18 year old with Jheri curl – limp lifeless TWA

    20 to 40s with overprocessed relaxed hair documented by family photos

    46 year old with big chop in 2008 – looked unfeminine and felt like a shorn sheep – wore lots of caps whenever possible

    Fast forward to 2012 – accepting the hair that grows out of my head in all it's 4c kinkiness!

    "This is the hair that the Lord has made – we shall rejoice and be glad in it (Milo & Otis)"

  • Anonymous says:

    Sometimes you know– it's just hair.

  • Unknown says:

    I actually just wrote a blog yesterday expressing the same feelings. This was well written chica! Great job!! 🙂

  • Anonymous says:

    My hair is me any style I wear straight,curly,short etc. But if I lost my hair to cancer treatments (chemo) I still would be the same person even if I had to wear a wig. I would be stronger and thankful to God that I am still alive and to praise him. So to me hair is hair and it is a women's glory,but if it is gone life for me will still continue if God blesses me with a second chance at life.

    Megan Montgomery

  • LM says:

    I love my hair, and I feel it represents my refusal to succumb to the expectations that others have set for me and my refusal to conform and be put in the small box that society wants us in. I will always be me and do what feels right to me NO MATTER WHAT or who opposes me. I have my own mind and I try to nurture my individuality just as I try to nurture my hair.

  • cheframoore says:

    This post spoke to me as if i could have been its author. As a forty something I have truely come into my own. I've been through the perms as a pre-teen and craved an afro (my mom bought me an afro wig at 9 years old…lol!) Doing a home perm 20+ years ago, an seeing my hair come out in the sink, I had no choice but to cut it off! I discovered that beautiful hair my mother would braid just prior to my press and curl. I really enjoyed my barber cut as I rocked it with class and style. Now I embrace what my curls decide to do on any given day and enjoy a thick healthy head of coils. My hair represents all that I am and the exceptance of how God made me and all my beautiful sistas!

  • brielle says:

    I really truly believe my hair is a representation of me. It is big and free, it hold lots of personality, Ive grown to LOVE my hair, it is apart of my self image, I know hair does not make you, but my hair is part of the makings of me!

  • Erin says:

    I definitely feel that my hair represents the real me. Learning and embracing it has definitely changed my self-image for the better.

  • Anonymous says:

    It is just one of the many expressions that we have in our personal tool boxes!

    Hair is an expression
    Hair is your inner beauty released
    Hair is your own unique brand
    Hair is just one of the many expressions of who you and I am!

  • Erika A. says:

    I guess it is because it's wild, free, and authentic…

  • sarah says:

    Does it have to be? With so many open avenues of self-reflection/expression, hair is just one possibility.

  • DiJah says:

    I am my hair and my hair is ME!

  • Fatima says:

    Love the article! But I think my hair is a reflection of the true me just because this is how it grows out of my head. I don't really think it's much deeper than that for me.

  • monniej says:

    wow! this is so beautiful. it says everything i feel. i think i just realized how universal this growth process is for all of us. well done, Sherrell Dorsey!

  • Anonymous says:

    Yes it sure is and I am loving every bit of it.

  • Anonymous says:

    Beautiful reflections…thank you!

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