Let’s do a little back story before I begin. Ever since a traumatizing episode with my mother in kindergarten, I have learned to not trust her with scissors. It all began with me sitting in the living room of our apartment with my feet swinging from the chair with excitement. My mother stood behind me with scissors. I can’t remember what strange, outlandish style my naive, cookey, six year old mind had conjured up but I was excited to be getting a trim because a trim translated into my hair somehow becoming different and FABULOUS!
At that age I was pretty obsessive about tying a t-shirt around my head and imagining that the length of the t-shirt was my hair. I would flip my “hair” from shoulder to shoulder in front of the mirror and chatter away in fake Spanish (which by the way was a pretty damn good impersonation). You see, while a lot of black girls where aching to be white with blond hair and blue eyes, I was longing to be Puerto Rican with a mean “r” tongue roll!
Anywhooo, to say the least I was excited to get my hair trimmed. I remember my mother starting to cut away while being a bit shady and vague. I remember her saying “Shanti, it’s not healthy! It’s all scraggily. I am just going to trim off the bad ends”. I remember feeling my head once it was all over and having no hair to pull. I ran to the mirror. My hair was boy short. I was six years old, missing my front left tooth while my front right tooth protruded big and square and now I was bald-headed! God dammit! And to top it all off I couldn’t wear my Puerto Rican hair to school! I still carry the outrage and violation within me to this day. Whenever its brought up, my mom’s eyes soften and her shoulder’s hunch “I am sorry Shanti”.
She knew that shit was wrong.
So when she looked at my hair recently and said those words “It looks scraggily” and “Let me give it a trim”, I shuddered. The thing is is that I knew that she was right. My hair has grown outto be significantly uneven. Long and even in the front and sides while short and layered in the back. If you look at the picture, my ends are red and dry from past henna applications coupled with the summer sun. I needed a trim. I needed my mom. As I sat in the chair now a woman, my feet rooted on the ground, I allowed my mother to regain my trust. I let the hair fall where it may and she assured me it was going to be okay. “I am just cutting off the dead ends.”
I got up, looked at my haircut and felt sad for the lost ones. The front and sides were DRASTICALLY shorter. Could I still put it in a bun? Was it going to shrink even more once I wet it?!!! My hair was finally growing to be long and then I did this?
shanti’s hair blown straight, around the way curls, shanti’s hair cut
A week later and I love my hair. It is MUCH healthier and cooler in this heat. I am not mad at the cut. She did a great job actually. I really like the shape. The layers all match. Hopefully, my hair will grow out a bit more evenly after this shape has been established so that history will not have to repeat.
My advice ladies: If it ain’t healthy and happy, let it go. You will learn to love the new!
THERE ARE SO MANY COMMENT… HOW DID YOU CURL YOUR HAIR? I LOVE IT!!! MY HAIR IS UNEVEN AND IT SEEMS STAGNANT SO I AM GOING TO CUT
I def in need of a trim, cut, something. i know i want to go to a professionally but I dont know man, some of these hairdressers in NYC scare me lol
Shanti's hair is super gorg!
Shanti is a brave one to let her mom trim her hair again. I would NEVER let my mom near my hair with a pair of shears lol
Ok, that story was hilarious. Especially, because I've heard those same words come from my own mother's mouth back in the day.
Your hair is beautiful, so maybe moms didn't do so bad afterall.
thats what the problem was! My hair looked fine in the front but the back was like 5 inches shorter. It looked strange
I cant wait for my hair to grow to that length, she has beautiful hair…and yes I need a trim. lol
I love the cut…My mom cut my bangs when I was in 3rd grade? Needless to say I ended up without a bang and less tahn an inch of hair where it shouldve be one
Love the cut it looks great on you! I have no idea how to trim my ends and the last time I did it myself I didn't blow it out, so needless to say my hair was all kinds of uneven. Now I don't bother cutting :/
LOL Jamie ~ FIVE years? Yeah, it's time. Well, it was time FOUR years ago 😉 Come on…be a big girl and get a trim. Your hair will thank you later, your ends will feel soooo good and most likely behave better. Yes, you may loose some length, but sometimes you have to sacrifice length for health, shape, and even volume if that's what your trying to achieve.
Kylie~ I remember those times! My former stylist could only trim my ends after he straighten my hair on dang near the hottest setting; hell, I have fine hair and surely did not need that much heat on my hair. My hair would smell burnt for weeks afterwards even after two-three washings.
I did my research and found several Devachan trained or at least stylist who were experienced with cutting 'curly/kinky' hair in it's natural state in my area and went from there. ACTUALLY, the stylist I chose and have stayed with for nearly two years so far is Caucasian; the woman knows what she's doing, so definitely think outside the box for the best stylist who knows his/her stuff when it comes to kinks and curls.
I didn't think I was afraid of the scissors until I got my last haircut. It was way too short and I hated the way my hair looked in wash n gos and with twist outs. My buns weren't the same, all in all, it sucked. I always say, it's just hair it'll grow back, but i have to be honest, I was traumatized. It's 5 months later and a trim is long overdue.
Pennie ~ I also trim the tips of my twists every now and again! I get a professional trim by a stylist a few times a year when I feel as though my hair needs an actual shape or style. I usually can tell it's time after I try to wear wash n' gos and develop that 'mushroom' or triangle shape or even the SHAG look….uh, then I know it's time to make an appointment ASAP 😉
OMG.. I need a trim badly but I'm so afraid of the hair salon since my last "HORRIFIC" hair cut.. a trim turned into a 7 inch cut and left me growing it back for 9 month… urgh! i hate it when they don't listen. If anyone knows a good curly hair salon in Toronto, ON area. Please, for the love of length retention..Share!
My ends are pleading for a trim, it's been 8 months since my last cut. I just don't want to have my hair ironed out on hellish heat to achieve a healthy cut. My go-to hairdresser is oh so good with his hands but he like his heat on HIGH. If I can find a trustworthy curly salon I'll be there in a minute! I'm ready to let go of these raggedy ann's!
I just did a trim too! I know I wanted to hold on to the length but my ends were really bad so I decided to get rid of them. My hair is a bit shorter but it feels and looks so much better!
I kind of just trim as needed on my own, when my hair was last pressed a couple months ago, and now I trim my twists as needed. But, I'm never gotten a "curly-girl" haircut; I mean to say, I never got a haircut by someone who knew how to manage curly hair. I'd like to try it.
I hear you, Sammy. I was a little caught off guard by the "aching to be white" statement. And, I am shocked that no one else has said anything about it. No shade to Shanti, but I don't think black woman have wanted to be white since the 1950s. However, I think the secret thoughts of wanting to be Latina are quite common among some black women. So, unfortunately, Shanti is not unique in wanting to be Hispanic. If it hasn't been done already, someone should write a critical essay on "Natural Hair", what it really is, and how it is attached to race. And, why is it that most women in the Natural Hair community applaud women who's hair looks like Tracey Ellis Ross' hair? The Type 3 sycophancy on these blogs is nauseating.
Shanti ~ WOW ~ awesome cut, love the big hair. After going eight months without a trim my hair rolled her eyes, slapped my face, and said "$itch…make a dayum appointment and quite trippin" I went to my usual Deva trained stylist who *mentally* slapped my face and then hooked me up. Whew, I was sooo over due but let me tell you….my hair is behaving so much better. Don't be scared of the scissors ladies, just stay on top of the trims…well, at least 3-4 times a year.
I use to be scared of scissors before I turned 18 and cut my hair short.
Now I am 22 and obsessed with getting my hair trimmed every 2-3 months even if it is a fourth of an inch I am on it like peanut butter jelly time! Even ssk's I end them before they cause more damage. I also do the search and destroy method if I do not feel like I need the 2-3 month trim. I am still cutting off my heat damaged tresses so 2-3 months is needed for me.
she did such a great job! It looks like an expensive, salon cut
I haven't confessed this to anyone else, but this feels like a safe place to admit that I NEED a trim! It's been 5 years since my last trim *hangs head* but my hair has grown SO much y'all!! I don't want to let it goooo! I.DON'T *stomps foot* Sighs….but I will 🙁
Your old cut lengthened your face but the trim makes it fuller now I know I'm do for a cut but not yet.
Sad you had to lose that much hair Shelli, but that "WnG Pre- and Post Layered Cut" looks fabulous! She did a great job!
i have hair exactly like yours, but i have been straightening it since i was 11( or younger, im now 17) and now i want my hair back !! 🙁 but i have never actually had it like that so i dont know how to handle it… so umm what exactly did u do with yours after you cut it and what products did you use.
agreed. the only thing with me is that the frequent cutting has me stagnant at 6 inches. Nice ends, few knots, but only 6 inches
girl, you still have plenty of hair left. It still looks good, and i'm sure the ends feel a whole lot better
The cut looks great. I am definately over due for a trim.
Hey. I do take care of my hair but I get a lot of SSKs and it's so irritating. I'm not good at cutting them off myself b/c I tend to go overboard, and would probably end up with a mullet! business in the front… PARTY IN THE BACKKKK
Your hair is beautiful. I don't mind letting go of the scraggly ends because I know it will grow back. Plus with a good trim my twist & twist outs look so much better.
I'm confused as to why you have to cut your hair so frequently. I'm sure you take care of your hair very well, with that being the case, I'm surprised you have to trim that often.
Good gawd your hair is beautiful. Let me borrow it for a weekend wouldya!?!?!? I trim my hair every 2-3 months and my hair is so healthy and it grows very fast. I'm not afraid to say goodbye to the damage… damaged hair damages hair. LOL
I remember the ache to be 'something else' …but mainly someone with LOOOOOOOONG hair. Unfortunately as a child that was not in the cards for me so I just made due with tights on my head. And no, the color of the tights did not matter. Shoot, I even put on multiple pairs just to make it fuller!
As to the fear of trims…that is definitely me. I had to big chop three times in 12 months! Of course the first chop was my choice (decided to get rid of my three year old locs) but the two subsequent cuts were not by choice. So, it's been about a year and I probably need a trim.
Hair stylists with shears got me shakin' like booty meat!
This was a great story. Sometimes the articles are so long i barely read them, but i really liked this one. Great storytelling.
Shanti… you're todally on my #haircrush list. I just love your styles and your hair is like…. bomb diggity awesome! love the trim!
Love the new cut. Her Mom did a great job. I need a trim badly!
I don't get how you look "crazy" when your hair is blown out…but of course when it's curly, it's not crazy looking of course!
I'm not afraid of scissors; I'm of the mind set that it'll grow back, which it will. As for needing a trim, I'm not sure. I just cut the last of my relaxed ends April 24 and I don't know whether I need a trim yet or not. Back when I was transitioning, I got a trim every two months to speed up the process, but now that I'm all natural I'm not sure how I should time it. I know that there are many naturals who are for only trimming as needed and even only the hairs that need to be trimmed (ie. search and destroy), but with the way I am I'd rather just have it timed, even if I just end up getting a dusting.
She said a lot of black girls not all or sammy. So why are you offended?
The trim looks good. I need a trim :/
I think my fear comes from the horror stories. Scissors in the wrong hands can be disastrous. I dread getting the pyramid hair cut or bowl or God forbid i should go in with shoulder length hair and exit with a TWA.
Your hair looks sooo much better with that shape. When my hair grows out (just bc'ed a few months ago), that's the shape I'm going for.
I liked the story but the " …while a lot of black girls where aching to be white with blond hair and blue eyes… " part threw me off. I did not have the ache you mention and find it quite offensive.
My last trim was in March and I've had significant growth since then. I too don't want to lose my length, but I know I'm overdue for a trim, and by an actual professional. Sigh.
My hair is beyond overdue for a hair cut and yes girl I know your pain!!! I'm actually getting trim next weekend. so wish me luck!
Holy isht, Batman! That girl's hair is gorgeous!
GORG!! Super heatlhy and soft!! I'm up for a trim in a couple weeks!! Yay! Thx 4 sharing!
Your hair looks beautiful and so lush. Ive been putting off trimming for a while but I recently got my hair cut. I'm patiently waiting formy awkward, uneven length stage to be behind me…!
I am not so much afraid of the trim, it's the length I don't want to loose and I know I need to loose at least a good inch. I have been struggling hard to maintain and gain length over the past year. I have been doing a lot of dusting, but I know it's not enuf and I am not getting all of the bad ends cause my hair is rampant with SSKs >:(. The trouble is I am TERRIFIED of some stylist getting scissor happy and taking too much. *shrug* And I can't decide if I want it straightened to trim it. *afraid of heat damage* It doesn't help that one side is shorter than the other because of past issues. It's been over a year since my BC so it's probably time to make a decision.
Oh, and this story is HEElarious!!! (I read it after I looked at the pics and commented). Btw, I agree with one commenter that the front doesn't look bad to me! Maybe it was the back that was acting a donkey? I know that was my issue. Party in the front, HAWT mess in the back! LOL!!
It's been 2 months since my last trim and my ends are already looking scraggily. However, I don't trust ppl with scissors near my head, and hairdressers look at me with shock and awe when I walk in with my gloriously big hair. In their terror, they also hike up the price. So once I find someone who could handle allll of this, then I'll get it trimmed.
My hair had mostly reached waist length except the crown, but it was looking really CRAY due to various things which resulted in a looser curl (caused by excessive henna) and less dense ends (due to a bout of excessive shedding). I'd been searching and destroying for a year and was long overdue for a real cut. So, I finally bit the bullet and went to someone who could cut my hair curly and I knew was an expert in giving me just what I wanted! I got layers but she managed to keep my longest hair at waist length! My hair looks, feels and behaves 10 times better now!! I am soooo glad that I did it and that I went to someone who really knows what she's doing. Here are links to my posts on the cut (where there are more pics).
All this to say, I think that one of the keys to not fearing the scissors is to do it yourself (of course, with the right tools and technique) or find someone great who you trust and who has your needs and best interest at heart:)! Then you don't have to fear the scissors when you need them:).
Shanti, your hair looks great! I have been completely natural since Sept 2011 and I have not had a trim/cut yet. My reason: I am still learning this natural thing so throwing a cut/trim into the mix right now would be way too much for me to handle right now. 🙂
OK I may be seeing things but her hair didnt look bad off in the first pic, to me. But I do love her new look though
I'm in love with the cut and the curls. So bouncy and soft.