by Kim Jackson of PeaceLoveandPrettyThings

Retelling a self-defeating story. – If we continue to
repeat a story in our head, we eventually believe that story and embrace
it – whether it empowers us or not. So the question is: Does your story
empower you? Don’t place your mistakes on your mind, their weight may
crush your current potential. Instead, place them under your feet and
use them as a platform to view the horizon. Remember, all things are
difficult before they are easy. What matters the most is what you start
doing now.” (source)

I’ve realized that I don’t always tell the best stories about myself. In
fact, I have a habit of retelling one self-defeating story in
particular.

I’m a single parent. And as such, I struggle with a great deal of guilt
for not bringing my son into a two-parent home, the way I always thought
my children would be raised—the way I was raised. I tell myself that I
should feel guilt for struggling financially and not providing enough of
the “extras” I thought he “should” have {I was in my senior year of
college when he was born}. I tell myself that not being fully
self-actualized or self-aware in my 20s is a reason to feel ashamed {and
really, how many of us know it all at that point in our lives? Or even
in our 30s?!}. I often feel guilt for not having been able to be at home
with him when he was younger, not having been able to leave my full
time job to volunteer at his school, for feeding him fast food on nights
when I was too tired to cook. In a nutshell, I’ve drafted this entire
story about all the things I wish I had done differently where I paint
myself in such a negative light that it’s still surprising even to me
sometimes.

The problem with this line of thinking is that none of what has already
happened can be changed. I’ve grown and learned so much from those
difficult lessons. And I need to tell myself a story that is empowering
as opposed to one that is defeating and leaves me guilt-ridden and sad.

The result of all the dedication I poured into parenting–despite how I
arrived at being a parent–and all the love I poured into my young man
is this: he is a happy, well-adjusted, responsible, academically
excellent athlete with major plans for the future. My job isn’t done
yet, but all that I have been able to do with the time and resources I
had then, and have now, are paying off. I am actually a pretty great
mother. And that’s what I need to tell myself again and again.

In what area of your life might you be telling a self-defeating
story? In what ways are you beating yourself up for past decisions,
instead of treating yourself with love and recognizing that even through
those mistakes, you’ve learned valuable lessons?

*image source

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PLPT
is co-authored by Kim Jackson and GG Renee with the intention of
connecting with women through messages of self-love and personal
freedom. We believe that true beauty starts on the inside and
radiates outward, so maintaining emotional health and balance
should be an essential part of every woman’s beauty regimen. We
use this platform as an opportunity to share our personal
experiences, and to help other women who are seeking guidance to
find their own truths and live fabulously.