Remember when you first went natural or your initial pursuit towards healthier hair? Remember the excitement and anticipation experienced when visiting your favorite hair blogger? For me it was Curly Nikki and MoptopMaven. I was obsessed. Remember the hours spent trying you first twist out, braid out or bantu knots?
For me, my beginnings with my hair are comparative to a new, young, horny relationship. I was doing it 3 times a week. Oh honey the many styles! I was switching it up daily, exploring new techniques, reading books and blogs about it. I would take it slow and gentle with my washing, buy the best deep conditioner and put in 3 hours for one deep conditioning session! I was telling everybody, everywhere, every chance I had about how wonderful it is to go natural. I was sharing all my intimate and personal hair tips. I was madly in love with my hair.
3 years later and now we aiiiight. I mean I do it when I have the time and when I do it, I stick to my routine. Quickie wash, rushed detangling and I am done. 30 mins tops. Deep conditioning?! I never have time for that. I am in a rut with my hair. I used to try new styles, be excited about my hair regime! The flame is gone. I got to get that old thing back!!!!
HOW DO I DO IT??!!
I'd compare myself and My hair to Chrissy and Jim Jones. I'd be Jim- (Selfish and unhelpful but faithful), and Chrissy would be the crying out for attention, but stays anyway hair.
When I look at photos from six months to a year ago and realize how much my hair has grown, the flame is on full-blast! Nowadays, when my wash n' go shrink up, my hair looks pretty good. Previously, the shrinkage made me look a little crazy. I'm feeling myself right about now, though! LOL! When I get tired of wearing my hair in the same old boring style, I switch it up to keep it interesting!
You remember that Monica song? Just one of those days, don't take it personal, I just wanna be all alone you think I treat you wrong? Could sing that whole song to my hair right now. It's just sort of high maintenance and I'm just sort of over it. We're not breaking up! But we might need a change. Like a haircut 😛
The flame is burning, but honestly sometimes I could "slap a hoe"! I mean I love my hair to death, but she makes me so angry sometimes. I mean I just want her to do right, so I try to do right by her! I mean whoa baby girl! Sometimes I can get a good twist out that's so freakin moist and defined. I think she loves being a little bit dirty and moist. Crazy right? Yeah, then when I think she deserves a good shampoo, she doesn't feel the same afterwards. I think she loves being moist. Overdue it with Kinky Curly Knot Today and coconut oil topped off with some shea moisture smoothie mixed with the curling souffle (L.O.C. method). She loves that better than anything. So my love affair is everlasting with my hair!
I'm 6 months into my transition and I keep things pretty simple. I'm pretty lazy though so I never really got too crazy with the styles at the beginning. If anything, I went and bought all kinds of brushes, pins, and oils that I thought I would need only to discover that somethings don't work for me.
I remember what my hair was like BEFORE! That is enough to keep me going!
I keep my love affair going with cutting and coloring my hair every few months. I don't go crazy with the color because I want to maintain healthy hair but I'm definitely not afraid to take it all the way blonde.
Pretty Girl Rock Blog
Hilarious!!!
Although I keep my routine and product line up pretty steady, I try to tweak how I apply the products and alternate when I do my go to styles. For instance, I'll wear twists then a twist out for 2-3 weeks, and then I'll do my wash and go to see how different it will look from the last time I did one. When I twist I may change up the pattern of the twists or throw a few flat twists in, or when doing wash and gos I'll alternate between raking and smoothing KKKC through my hair. Those little things have kept me excited about my hair so far. I recently bought some flexi rods and foam wrap, so I may try that or bantu knots later on this season.
I go visit YouTube, naturallycurly and other blogs that keep me going and appreciate my kinky curly. Shanti your hair keeps me going as well love it.
Shanti I just love your hair…. crushing on the daily!
I'm still transitioning but I still marvel at where my hair is now and what it use to be. I must admit though, I'm beginning to shrug at my go-to styles now because the hair feels like it's not really growing… awkward length stage. So I'm protective styling and then I think by December, I'll be mighty surprised and go crazy on styles! I do love trying new products though… now that gets me super duper excited!
I will often revisit history. I'll visit different sites and blogs. And sometimes I'll want something different and I'll make plans to change things up, with that it inspires you to look and see what new styles we find and can come up with. Like with a relationship, you've gotta do the same things that got you so excited about your journey to begin with.
I like the way you're wearing those scarves.
I found myself falling into the same rut so I decided to do super long box braids. I have a renewed love for my hair and am now reading up on how to care and style for this protective style. I have fun again doing my hair in the morning, experimenting with different styles. Sometime you just need a change. Eventually I think that I will miss my afro and then it will be back to how it was as a new natural.
I understand all of this. I have gotten so used to doing protective styles that I dont deep condition every week like I did when I first became natural. Perform major wash, ACV and condish and wear pinned up twists for a week or 2, then wear the hair out for a couple of days, then bun and refresh as normal. It may be another month b/f I wash, ACV and condish again.
OMG get out of my head! LOL I know I need to get my thang back..fo sho! Great post!
This is hilarious! I haven't been natural for too long but I can imagine once the hair gets long and full it seems like a lot of work… I guess just like in a long term relationship you've got to spice it up… Color, protective style, new product, trim – whatever it takes!
Every couple of months I have to renew my vows with my hair and thats only after I go on youtube or see some sistahs really keeping up with their hair and showing their hair so much love and I have to remind myself that I am in an unconditional loving relationship with my own mane. Right now my hair and I are soOo in love because I found new products that I lu lu lovee!
That a good idea and a nice 'fix' for a pj like myself 😉
Hilarious article! Everytime my hair starts to 'act up' with a psst, shooo, or itch please you want me to do wha', why?, what have you done for me lately……uh, then I know it's time to romance that stone! Generally, speaking though, before it get's to that point I have just made it a habit of deep conditioning weekly. Not the long drawn out sessions but rather wash it, d/c for 20-30 mins, and style…keep it movin' I ain't got the time for spooning afterwards.
Lol honestly my hair and I have a on again off again relationship. It's on when i'm doing my wash and go's or my twistouts, but off when i break down and spend 3 days doing mini twists, bc i do nothing (outside of the occasional moisturizing, terrible i know) with it. But then i'll get over it and add a new headband or try a new style. But it works for me, bc i'm a woman of routine lol
Great analogy! My hair and I are "just friends" right now. I don't know what happened, everything was going great, then POOF…everything changed. I've been trying more styles to get myself excited about my hair again, so far the jury is still out. I need something else to add the "umph" back into the relationship.
I keep that hair flame burning bright by have product affairs. It is true…sometimes a open relationship works! lol. And I get all the hook ups I need from Curlbox. Every month there are new and exciting products for me to try. Keeps the excitement alive between me and my hair.
lol moptopmaven….
anyway, i've never had a "love" affair with my hair. My goal has been always to take care of it and if i feel like it or the occassion calls for it, do an elaborate style….I had the same relationship with my relaxed hair…It's really just hair to me and I just like it to look presentable and decent in my eyes but I know it's different for everyone.
I was in that same rut earlier this year doing the same routine and not caring about the love affair that I had with my hair anymore. What I did to get that "flame" burning again was put my hair away for a while. Not seeing it and eventually turned into WANTING to see it and wanting to style it again.