I
am no relationship expert. But what I have found is that—even with each
relationship being unique to the individuals involved—there are a few
key elements in any relationship that make it a better relationship to
be in (for both parties). There are many positive attributes that help
couples to remain strong in their commitment to each other, but today I
invite you to consider just these three: Be honest. Be willing to
compromise. Be willing to walk away.
Be Honest
I
have both had and given my share of dishonesty in relationships. Being
dishonest is toxic. It can become difficult to remember what lies you
told and to whom. It’s a lot of work. Being lied to is hurtful and shameful and embarrassing. You feel haunted no matter which side of the lie you’re on. So why bother?
There
is so much to be gained when you can be honest with your partner, and
believe they are being honest with you. There’s a freedom that comes
with it, as well as a security in knowing that they trust you enough to
give you all the information—even if there are times that you may not
want to hear the truth.
Be Willing to Compromise
When
you’ve been single for awhile, you have certain visions in your head of
what your life might be like in the future—where you’ll live, whether
or not you’ll have children, what color you’ll paint your bedroom. And
then along comes this person whom you love, and who has vastly differing
opinions about all of these things, and you find that your version of
the way things might be has to be adjusted slightly. And you might just
find that you’re kind of okay with it. Obviously, if there are things
that you feel REALLY strongly about, you need to be sure that your
partner can respect your bottom line. But just being open to the other
person’s opinion, and having an honest line of communication can do
wonders for coming up with a solution that honors both sides.
Be Willing to Walk Away
Trust
your gut. You know when something doesn’t feel right and doesn’t honor
you. You know what’s required for you to live your best life. If you
feel like you’re not getting those things, it is okay to walk away—even
if it is just for a little while to clear your head and decide what you
really want. Don’t worry about what people might say: take your
well-being into your own hands. Sometimes removing yourself from a
situation is the most loving thing you can do—both for yourself, and for
the other person.
