I wrote last week, with tongue firmly planted in cheek, about hating your hair. In reality, it saddens me when I see women who so obviously have a negative relationship with their hair. I’ve noticed this a lot with new naturals, natural women who have been on “autopilot” for a while and not listening to their hair, as well as women who seem to be at a standstill both length and health-wise.
If you are currently hating your natural hair, I offer you these ideas for finding the love again.
- Look for the good
- Find inspiration
- Tweak your regimen
- Pamper your hair
- Hide your hair
- Do something drastic
Look For the Good
The most important way to change from hating to liking…and eventually loving… your hair is to make a shift in attitude. One way to do this is to simply take out a pen and paper and list all the good things you can think of about your hair. From the biggest reasons to the smallest ideas, list them all, no matter how silly they sound. There are so many great things about your head of hair, but if we’re in a hair funk and hating our hair it’s just hard to see them. Take some time out to consciously look for the great things about your curls, coils and kinks, and keep the list nearby to read it often!
The interwebz are filled with sites related to natural hair care and have loads of photos of hair in varying textures, styles and lengths that you can use for inspiration. Seek out photos that speak to you and renew your excitement about your natural hair. Print out, or pin those images you like best and post them where you’ll see them. Be sure the image makes you feel good and there are no feelings of jealousy when you look at the photo.
Tweak your Regimen
If you’re suffering from hair hatred, take a look at your regimen and see where you can tweak it to change results or cure your boredom. I’m not saying to overhaul the entire regimen, but make small changes to refresh it. For example, you can switch moisturizing shampoos or try a different deep conditioner this week. Or if your weekly twistout is done on soaking wet hair, in 6 twists, try it on damp hair with 10 twists. Small changes may cure your boredom and help with the hair hatred.
If you and your hair aren’t really the best of friends right now, you may want to take a day and give it some special TLC. Give yourself a treatment you don’t usually do, like an extra long deep conditioner, hot oil treatment, or henna/indigo treatment. Massage your scalp, and moisturize your hair in small sections, being very gentle and paying attention to every inch. Give your hair a spa day and let it feel luxurious. It’s hard to hate something when you’re treating with so much love.
Hide Your Hair
If you’re looking at every other natural’s head of hair with envy and feeling bad about your own, hide it. Find a great wig, or get a weave that makes you feel sexy, and hide your natural hair from view for a while. Keeping it out of site using wigs or weaves allows you to get a break from caring for it daily, and lets you play with a new look. They say absence makes the heart grow fonder. Use this to your benefit when it comes to your hair. You may just find yourself missing your natural tresses after a few weeks of having it hidden.
Do Something Drastic
Hair hatred often stems from boredom, so why not do something drastic to kick your hair-life up a notch?! Cut your hair, get bangs, dye your ends a crazy color or shave a portion of your head, get wild highlights or just go to a salon and get a new style you’ve never worn before. Seeing something fresh and new on your head may just bring back the love.
Looking in the mirror and seeing a head of hair that you don’t love is completely unnecessary. As naturals, we have too many great options for how to wear and care for our hair that hair hatred should not even be an option. If you’re suffering from hair hatred, don’t beat yourself up about it. Just make a quick change in behavior and attitude and get past it. Your hair is beautiful. Love it! Every Single Strand!